2021 Sexual Needs

Living in 2021

2020 has been an absolute mess, this whole year is one to put in the bin, 2021 could not come soon enough for majority of the population. Weddings cancelled, no festivals, a whole pandemic, people missing funerals, births, important milestones that should have been celebrated have been put on the back burner. Well, it’s coming to the end of the year and I think we should all have one date, a date with the most important person in your life… You.

It’s been tough and you need to treat yourself for getting through it like the absolute trooper that you are, self-care has never been more important. Honestly celebrate you however you do it, but this is my step by step guide to taking yourself on a date.

Step One:
Order your favourite take out (or cook your favourite comfort food), I don’t care if you’re on a diet, you have earned this. In a year where a lot of huge things have been taken from us, you deserve this little thing as a congratulations for getting through it. Eat that, eat dessert, have seconds and thirds and fourths, whatever fills the void that 2020 has made in all of us.

Step Two:
Run yourself a bath, get some bubbles going, light some candles, play some music (in my case I usually pop on my favourite show), and just relax. I really cannot recommend Wildfire Black more, it’s such an amazing 4 in 1 oil, but a pump or two in the bath will leave you feeling amazing inside and out! Now what you do in the bath is totally up to you, you can start the big celebrations in here if you like, nothing better than masturbating in the bath sometimes. I like to take the time to wash everything super slow and just take my time taking care of myself. It really is the little things and taking the time to go over every part of your body slowly while cleaning is so relaxing, this is definitely one of the things we skip over with the day to day happening.

Step 3:
Do your skin care! Moisturise everything! All the lotions and serums and whatever!! It doesn’t matter if it’s a 12 step routine or a 2 step, do whatever makes you feel comfortable and nourish from the outside in. COVID has really made some people forget that taking care of yourself and simply existing is so important, especially to help you de-stress from everything going on. Fuck it, put on a facemask and keep watching your shows, or listening to music, just find your zen in this time, use it to really remind yourself that you’re doing great and this year hasn’t gotten the best of you.

Step 4:
Do something you love, have a dance, bake some cookies, read a bit, go on a google deep dive, SIT ON TIKTOK FOR AN HOUR. It doesn’t matter what you do here, as long as it makes you happy you’re doing it right, self care is about making the heart happy and full. I should probably take my own advice and do some reading, I bought Midnight Sun as soon as it came out and I’m still only 15 pages in… Anyway!

Step 5:
My favourite step, of course. Masturbate!! I cannot write about de-stressing from a horrific year without including masturbation, it’s the good vibe hot spot. Again, dim the lights (or don’t 😉), light some candles, or use an oil burner you can go to the Wildfire Black again for this one as it can be used as an aroma and it includes aphrodisiacs so if the bath didn’t get you in the mood that definitely will. Get your favourite sex toy out, dress up if you want. And do you (pun intended). Nothing releases happy hormones quite like a bit of one on one time with yourself! And then tuck yourself into bed, you’ll have the best sleep of your life, trust me!

 

This is obviously just my advice and how I would do it, but the point is you don’t have to follow this, just be sure to take some time to do the things that you like, that help you feel the best you can.

2020 has been rough for everyone, it really has, and we all deserve a night dedicated to ourselves. Whether that’s from you to you, with a partner, going to a gym class, working on your car, or as I said taking care of yourself and taking care of your sexual needs.

Just be sure to make it so that at least one day this year was all about you, and end it on a good note, let’s go into 2021 taking care of ourselves and existing happily in the world, and let’s hopefully leave COVID in 2020 where it belongs.

Tips for a Pleasurable Quickie

Quickie Sex

Sometimes you want to do it so badly, but your tight schedules don’t permit it. Most times, you wouldn’t take no for an answer until you’ve gone under the sheets with your partner. Sex has evolved beyond the regular ‘bedroom’ thing. It is now an activity that is done anywhere, anytime, and anyhow. Sex creates that connection between you and your partner regardless of the time spent. Even if you are rushing out to work, a few seconds of intense pleasure can be achieved. How does this happen? Quickies, of course. 

Because of quickies’ nature, partners may ditch penetration and settle for fingering and oral sex, but it’s all for the same goal – pleasure, that is. Whatever form a quickie takes, you can make the best out of it as you’ll do in traditional sex. What do you want out of sex? Can you achieve it in a few minutes? Yes, you can. This article shares quick tips to help you achieve a pleasurable quickie. 

Here are tips to help you have a satisfying quickie:

Consider an appropriate location.

Where is the most appropriate location to have a quickie? Well, you can do it anywhere except for the bedroom. The whole idea of quickies means that both partners are in a hurry yet want to explore simultaneously. Your location ensures that you mix things up and add freaky moves to your pleasure. Well, a sex couch allows you to try as many sex styles as possible, even more than you think. Sex on a couch increases intense passion such that your partner deletes the thoughts of moving to the bedroom. Most of the sex couches available online are designed so that partners can explore as many positions as they want. 

Wear the right clothes

In planned sex, your partner takes their time to undress you because that’s where the intimacy starts. For quickies, things are different. Your partner doesn’t want to spend the whole day undressing you. Even if they love to see you wear those colorful panties they bought for you, it may not be necessary during a quickie. Why not wear a mini skirt without panties? Or wear a loose one? A g string is perfect too. Your dress ensures easy passage just in case there’s an urgent need to thrust in and out. Leave out the tight jeans – this isn’t sexy at all. Trust me, by the time your partner forcefully gets out the skinny jeans from your body; they’re already tired. It would be best if you didn’t risk that. 

Lube up

Since there’s no foreplay, the chances are that you may not get wet within a few seconds. If you want to go down pretty fast, you shouldn’t forget a lubricant. Most people have time to masturbate before a quickie, and that’s fine. If you didn’t plan for one and your partner asks for it, quickly get a lube to reduce friction and the pressure down there. And hey, you should have a pack of lube in your bag most of the time (if not all the time) because you may never know when you’ll be called upon. 

Know the best positions

There are some sex positions specially reserved for quickies. With these positions, two minutes feels like forever. However, don’t feel too pressured to try out all the styles at the same time. Simply do what works for you at the moment and wait for another opportunity to unleash your skills. If you haven’t thought of an appropriate position, consider the following styles: the hot seat, fast doggy, heir to the throne, face race, the elevator, sneak-a-peak, etc. And yes, you can decide to keep it 100% oral. 

 

While romance is an excellent choice, you shouldn’t beat back the idea of having a quickie occasionally. To improve your sex life, don’t fold your arms and wait for full-blown sex when you can have it in bits. What would an ideal quickie set up be for you? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done during quick sex? Would you mind sharing with a friend?