BDSM Dating 101: What to Look for in a Master

Masterful bdsm

A successful BDSM relationship truly depends on the people involved. Though your attention is focused on sexual activities, you should focus on finding the right partner and also being a good partner. And that’s easier said than done. If you’re interested in exploring master online dating, then you should know what to look for in a master. That way, you’ll choose a partner who will provide you with a safe and fun S&M experience. Here are eight qualities to look for when finding a master.


They focus on aftercare

Many people make the mistake of assuming the most important part of an S&M relationship are the sessions themselves. That’s not true. The most important part of an S&M relationship, aside from communication, is aftercare. These sessions take a physical and emotional toll on both master and slave; aftercare is crucial to process the experience and wind down. A good master is someone who values aftercare and sees the importance in it. If a master doesn’t appreciate or invest in aftercare, they’re not concerned about the emotional and mental health of either person.



Without honesty, your S&M relationship won’t last. In any relationship, honesty is a must. Your master needs to be completely honest and open with you and vice versa. Nothing should be hidden from you; you both need to be open books. He should be able to discuss his previous relationships and answer any questions you have. If he’s hiding information or blaming the failings of his past relationships on his exes, that’s a huge red flag. Before anything, honesty needs to be a foundation in your relationship.


They have experience with S&M

Of course, you may meet a master that’s relatively new in the community, and that doesn’t mean they’re going to be bad. But this does mean they lack experience. And if you’re new in the community, it’s always a good idea to start off with someone who has some experience under their belt and a positive reputation. With an experienced master, you’ll be able to learn the rules and techniques that new masters may not know.


There’s vanilla chemistry

If you want to have a good S&M relationship, there needs to be basic chemistry between you two. If you’re not attracted to them as a person, then how can you allow them to be your master? He also needs to like you as well. You don’t need to be in love with each other, but you need to like each other. You’re entering a very intense dynamic, and if you’re not interested in them as a person, it will be a problem.


They have limits

If a master tells you they don’t have a safeword or they don’t have any personal boundaries, run. Everyone in BDSM needs to have personal boundaries and limitations. BDSM isn’t the wild west where you can do whatever you want to someone else. This doesn’t mean the boundaries are static; with time they can change. However, everyone has their limits. A good master understands this and respects their slaves physical and emotional boundaries.


They’re interested in self-development

In BDSM relationships, both people need to be interested in self-development. That’s the only way you can progress and become a better slave/master. A good master is interested in self-development and is constantly working on themselves. He wants to learn from his mistakes and be the best master possible for his slave. That is the type of master you want, someone who wants to be the best they can be for the relationship.


You share the same life pattern

Having chemistry is essential, but you need more than that for a successful S&M relationship. You and your master also need to have the same lifestyle. If he’s working nights and you’re working days, there’s a conflicting schedule. If he’s very social, but you’re more of a homebody, that could become a problem. Finding a master with a similar lifestyle will make things easier to manage. Considering how everyone’s schedule is very busy today, this is more important than you think.


They have empathy

Your master needs to be good at reading and understanding you. With time, your master should be able to predict your responses to specific acts. Of course, communication is an essential element of empathy. They not only should understand and sense how you feel, but they need to communicate these thoughts with you. If you’re sensing a master lacks empathy, run. If they lack empathy, they could cause physical and emotional harm to you.


Finding a master isn’t hard, but you want to find the right master for you. Take your time and find a master who has these qualities. It may take some time, but patience pays off.


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Believe It Or Not – Guys Masturbating With Hot Octopuss!

Octopus Masturbation

A wavering mens sex toy intended to wrap around your cock

and apply astounding stimulations to your frenulum? You have to look at this new guybrator.

The Pulse from Hot Octopuss is one of those sex toys that came out at just the right time as all the stars were aligned for the first guybratory. A progressive male stimulator fueled by a cutting edge wavering Pulse Plate quickly charmed and grew a life of its own in the blogosphere and sex toy reviews. As a fellow who appreciates a climax through immediate and pinpointed frenulum invigoration I couldn’t wait to try it and the postman could not come quick enough.

Before I get into the experience that is the Pulse, I’ll give a little insight on the toy and how it functions. The Pulse was made by Hot Octopuss, a London-based group that is energetic about combining innovation with sexual joy. They’ve planned a rechargeable gadget that wraps itself around the shaft of a fellow’s penis and gives exceptional excitement. The shape is slightly a cross between a huge egg and a vast cannoli shell. While the bended wings are intended to surround the penis shaft, the base of the toy contains an intense motor that gives swaying, a sort of a fast forward and backward movement, to the frenulum through the PulsePlate. The Pulse vibrates pleasantly and is touted also as a couples toy but realistically it is a toy for a man to either masturbate with or use on his penis to increase sensations whilst having sex with a lover.


Male Masturbator
Sex Toy: Hot Octopuss Pulse 2 Solo


There are two segments to the toy outside: hard smooth plastic on the back, with the inside and wings are made up of thick, adaptable silicone like material. The quality seems top notch and there is no discernible smell and when used the wings are very comfortable.

Charging is simple. Basically put the round end of the plug into the base of the Pulse and insert the USB part into your PC. The Pulse takes about 4 hours to charge fully and once you’re charged and prepared to go, basically put your penis into the folds of the silicone wings. This is an awesome toy for men who experience difficulty getting or keeping up an erection, in light of the fact that the Pulse can be effectively utilized despite the fact that your penis is limp. Hard or delicate, push your cock between the wings and position the frenulum close to the PulsePlate.

The controls are easy to use and sufficiently with enough pressure required to change the vibrations that you will not do it by error and spoil the sensations during your ‘vinegar strokes’. There are nine vibration modes for you to explore allowing you ample variations to get your perfect ejaculation.

The openness of the wings allows you to vary exactly what part you wish to stimulate from the guybrator.

Encase your whole shaft or move it across your balls – it is not even necessary to stroke off with the Pulse as I can almost guarantee you will cum just by holding it on your dick. It is also very easy to hold with hands or without hands for some absolutely extraordinary sensations. Another thing I love is that you can have the Pulse on with the head of your dick poking out the top. This is great as when you are going to blow that full load you are not doing it in your male sex toy that makes clean up a breeze. I own a fleshlight too and absolutely love it however cleaning up after blowing in it can be a bit of a mundane and not a very enjoyable task.

Let me be clear however the Pulse is nothing like a Fleshlight, Fleshlight gives a more realistic pseudo sexual experience where the Pulse depending on the setting just blows you off in the best way possible.

If you are guy that likes masturbators

I will recommend that you stick with a Fleshlight or something similar. If you want to experience a whole new sensation or buy someone a wonderful mens masturbator gift with the guybrator Pulse then that will be the choice. For me they both have a place in my toybox but it will be the Pulse tonight.