The Beginner’s Guide To DDLG Role Play

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If you’re thinking about spicing up your sex life, it may be time to level up your role playing games and dive into DDLG role play. DDLG, which stands for Daddy Dom/Little Girl, is a kinky role play between two consenting adults during which one assumes a dominant, older person, while the other takes on a submissive and younger role. It’s a lot similar to BDSM, yet there are many ways that DDLG can be adapted to suit your comfort level, making it an enjoyable, sexy, and romantic role play for both parties involved. If your partner likes it when you call him daddy in bed, here is your guide to get started on DDLG role play.

Set some DDLG rules

Before getting started, it’s important to understand that DDLG doesn’t have anything to do with incestuous relationships. It’s a sexy role play, which can range from vanilla to hardcore, and since there are so many variations of DDLG, it’s important to set some ground rules before heading to the bedroom. Talk about your age-play, and define the little girl role. What age would you be when you’re doing a scene? Some women prefer to act like an innocent teenager, since it’s easier for them to enter this headspace rather than, say, role playing as a 10-year-old girl, so you may consider acting like a teen if it’s your first time to do DDLG. You should also decide what you’ll address each other during scenes to help you slip easily into DDLG. You can refer to your daddy dom as Daddy, Sir, Papi, or Master, while he can call you Baby, Baby Girl, Angel, Princess, Bunny, or Darling.

Talk about what you’d like your daddy to do to you before, during and after sex. For instance, do you like a bit of pain play before sex, and would you like some cuddles and more affection during aftercare? You should also discuss the kinky clothes and unusual accessories that you’ll wear while role playing, since donning the right outfit is the easiest way to slip into DDLG. The schoolgirl uniform is a classic, but you can also wear a cute onesie or a crop top and frilly panties with some over the knee socks. Finish off the look with a collar to heighten your daddy’s dom instincts.

Getting started

Set the scene to get started. Decorate your room with plushies and lots of throw pillows, then dress up for your daddy. If you want to rile him up a bit before having sex, act a little bratty so he can take you over his knee and give you a good spanking. Once you’ve taken your punishment, always say thank you when your daddy praises you for being a good girl. You don’t have to have sex right away. You can take a bath together and let your daddy dom take care of you, or you can do your “homework” together. All this affection and nurturing will naturally put both of you in the mood for sex, and sex can be hardcore by using sex toys or bondage, or it can be vanilla with lots of sweet talk and kisses, depending on your mood.

If you choose to have hardcore sex, remember to agree on a safe word right before you start. You can have a special safe word, but the color system works fine for this too. Remember that green means that you’re feeling good and that your daddy should keep going. Yellow means that you’re on the edge of your limits but it’s still okay to continue, while red means to stop altogether. Your daddy should always check in during pain play, bondage, or intense sex, and checking in can be as simple as asking, “Baby, what’s your color?” Respond honestly, and don’t be afraid to say red if something feels too intense or uncomfortable. Remember that DDLG should be enjoyable, so your daddy dom should be responsible and check in with you always so you can feel safe and happy while role playing.

Staying inside the DDLG mind space

One of the challenges of role playing is being able to stay inside a specific mind space. When you role play as a little girl, you’ll need to get in touch with your inner child and be sweet, cuddly, playful, indecisive, and a little bratty sometimes. Distractions, certain words, or actions can pull you out of your little girl space, so it’s important to dive deep into your role to fully enjoy DDLG. For instance, to really get into the young mindset needed for this age-play, you can have your daddy make all the decisions for you, such as what you’ll eat, wear, or do in the bedroom. Let him take care of you and spoil you with hugs, kisses, and loving touches, and remember to be sweet and obedient, no matter what he asks of you.

Playing some music can also help to get you in the mood for DDLG. Play Disney songs if you’re role-playing as a little girl, or pop songs if you prefer being in a teen mind space. You can also use a diffuser to add some ambiance and set the mood. Choose sweet scents such as vanilla or cinnamon, or any scent that you associate with comfort so you can relax. Use these sounds and scents whenever you’re role playing and soon, you’ll easily slip into a childlike demeanor once you hear a particular song or smell a sweet scent.

Don’t forget aftercare

Aftercare is essential to slowly usher both of you back into the real world and get you out of the DDLG mind space. It’s highly important, especially if you’ve had rough sex. During aftercare, your daddy can lavish attention, praise, and affection on you while tending to your needs. He can draw you a warm bath, make you a cup of tea, or feed you some snacks, all while cuddling and talking to you in gentle, loving tones. Talk about what you liked during the experience, and what you’re willing to explore the next time you engage in this type of role play. You may also want to praise your daddy, so don’t forget to let him know that he made you feel good while role playing.

How to Be a Better Submissive in Your Relationship

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From the sound of it, you’re already quite aware of what a submissive/dominant relationship is. You’ve probably been a submissive for some time, and have already found the kinks which turn you on. Now, you’re looking for ways to become better at it. Wanting to improve yourself and evolve as a sub is a step to improve the relationship with your dominant. The good thing is that the sub/dom relationship isn’t static; it’s a relationship that both bdsm partners can develop through time. If you’re looking for ways to improve your kinky relationship, you’ve come to the right spot. We’re going to talk about how to be a better submissive.

 

Exercise your safeword

All BDSM relationships have a safeword which lets each partner know where the line is. However, many people are still scared about using it; thinking it’ll disappoint their partner. But the thing is the safeword was created for a reason. A dominant cannot fully enjoy the experience if they have the feeling their submissive isn’t into what they’re doing.

 

Moreover, it builds distrust and insecurity. Instead of letting go and being in the moment, your dominant is trying to figure out if you’re enjoying it. You have a safe word both you and your dominant agreed upon beforehand; don’t be afraid to use it.

 

Incorporate your submissive behavior outside of the bedroom

No, this doesn’t mean you should let your dominant take control of everything outside of the bedroom. Rather, you can let your dominant exercise their power in small ways – only if you want to. For example, they can choose which restaurant you’ll go tonight or what movie to see. Of course, this should only be done healthily, and if you want it. This can create a stronger submissive/dominant dynamic.

 

Take a little control

Oh, you’re probably surprised by this one, but you shouldn’t be. The entire point of being a submissive is giving up control, but sometimes, you can take control. Being a dominant isn’t easy; it’s a lot of work. Now, you don’t need to become a dominant, but initiating sex or suggesting a fantasy is an excellent way to show your investment in the relationship. There’s nothing wrong with being active in the relationship; it’ll probably alleviate some of the pressure your dominant is feeling. They want you to enjoy the experience, so why not take the initiative from time to time?

 

Dominants need TLC too

Submissive aftercare usually happens in most BDSM relationships, but what about dominants? Well, dominant aftercare is rarely spoken about. However, being a dominant puts you in a different mindset. If you and your dominant’s shared experiences involve degradation or violence, aftercare is essential for both of you.

 

A dominant’s aftercare will be mental and emotional; you need to reassure them you understand they don’t want to hurt you, and that you care about them. It’s easy for a dominant to feel they crossed the line (this is why exercising a safeword is essential). If they did, you need to voice this, and also work on using your safeword. But, if they didn’t, then reassure them of that. A simple “thank you” works wonders as well. It shows them you enjoyed the experience which is what they need to know.

 

You can mix things up

Many people think a BDSM relationship is very serious and physical. Of course, there are many moments when it is. But, you’re also allowed to laugh and enjoy the experience. Naturally, timing does matter, but if the time is right, why not be funny or silly? Yes, your BDSM relationship can be sexy, violent, and degrading, but you can also mix things up and throw in some light moments.

 

Follow the rules

Ah yes, the rules. In the beginner’s BDSM guide, creating rules is usually in the top three things you need to do before even engaging in anything physical. Naturally, you don’t need to follow the rules strictly. There are some times where you both want to adjust the rules, and that’s fine. However, if you’re breaking the rules without your dominant knowing, it affects the relationship.

 

If you agreed not to masturbate when your dominant isn’t around, then don’t do it. Outside of a BDSM relationship, this rule may seem silly, but, for your relationship, it’s not. If you’ve broken a rule, tell your dominant right away; otherwise, it’s as though you’re cheating on the relationship.

 

Being in a BDSM relationship is a fun and adventurous experience for both you and your dominant. Of course, as an active partner, you want the relationship to continue to grow and evolve. Try out these tips to become a better submissive for your partner.

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Sexual Perversion or Satisfaction?

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I recently read an article about a young lad who was most confused. He had discovered that his slightly older and more experienced girlfriend enjoyed tying him up to a chair, and using various tools and toys to either torture him, tease or tantalise. He was confused because he enjoyed it, but also because he wasn’t sure if it counted as sex. He was also confused because he was conflicted, he enjoyed the play, but he felt that it was perverted, dirty, weird and that in some way it was going to change him and how he experienced pleasure.

The idea of sex is something that confuses a lot of people. If you cross-interview sections of the population and ask them what they consider to be sex, you’ll get a myriad of different answers and opinions. These could range from penetrative sex, PiV sex, oral stimulation, Over the Sweater action, Bondage play and scenes and everything in between. Some people rationalize their sex life by insisting that anal intercourse is not sex, likewise there are many people that don’t necessarily view a BDSM scene as a form of sex. This article is not necessarily designed to settle that debate, to do so would be limiting, and would be detrimental to how some people view the idea of sex.

Regardless of whether you view the lads question as sex or sexual play, It is concerning to hear him suggest that he was worried that the enjoyment of this type of play was going to change him and that he saw it as perverted. We could assume that he has had a sheltered upbringing, and since his girlfriend was slightly older than him that she was trying to broaden his horizons, and introduce forms of play that she enjoyed. Firstly, let’s consider the idea of perversion; which a quick google search reveals that the definition is;

‘A sexual behaviour that is considered abnormal and unacceptable.

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Photo: BDSM Mistress

It is therefore safe to assume that perversion is an individual opinion. Why? Because people, as demonstrated above, have varying degrees of sexual practices, experiences, likes and dislikes. An individual who thinks that anything other than Penis In Vagina play is abnormal is certainly going to have a mini heart attack if they were to witness a BDSM Tit torture scene with no sexual penetration. The thing is that sexual behaviour is so broad and whilst I personally believe that sexual behaviour should not be considered abnormal unless it deliberately and without thought places someone in danger, involves animals or children, or does not involve consent as in rape, many others will not see it as that. In other words, perversion is generally going to be considered when the sexual play is deemed as outside the personal comfort boundaries of the person considering it. The reason why our young lad is confused is because it is clear that it is outside his normal boundaries, however, he enjoys it.

It could be argued that he enjoys the relinquishing of control, that he enjoys the focus being on him and that his girlfriend enjoys that shift in focus, or it could be that he enjoys the challenge. Regardless of what specifically it is about this type of play that he enjoys, it is his journey and whilst he seems conflicted now. I can guarantee that his sexual pleasure will diminish his conflict and he will chase what he enjoys. It is a pivotal moment in his sexual development.  

So what’s the point? My point is that it is can be potentially dangerous and limiting to consider forms of sexual play as perverse. It is limiting in the way that if you view perverse as anything outside your normal boundaries then you in all probability won’t challenge them. Engaging in play that pushes your boundaries is not perverse, it’s not damaging, and the only thing it’ll change is your sexual play as you seek new forms of pleasure. In a way it’s broadening, you’ll find greater satisfaction both within sexual pleasure but also within life as it will balance things out. It’ll help you gain an understanding of what makes you, you, and it will exemplify both your individuality and cause you to be more in tune with yourself and your desires. Sexual play is an outlet of ourselves, and denying what gives you pleasure out of fear of having others think it is perverse will cause more disruption to your individuality than you think.

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