Revolutionize Sex With Your Primal Instinct

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Through my studies in sexology and explorations in the world of Tantra and finding out what is spiritual sexuality, I have come to view and understand many diverse aspects of human sexuality. Sex is a powerful outlet to connect with different parts of ourselves and allows us to share those parts with others in a beautiful and pleasurable way. From having our need to feel emotionally connected to another human being met to a blissfully ecstatic & orgasmic release, sex allows us to be our most authentic and trues selves if we so desire.

Recently whilst completing an intense training diving into sex and spirituality, I experienced a connection to a part of myself which was incredibly healing and empowering- I refer to this part as my inner animal!!  This primal part of myself is so amazing to connect with and allows me a chance to be completely in tune with my senses and my body.

Today, we human beings spend much of our lives in our minds. We think too much, spend an excessive amount of time being occupied with technology and feel this constant need to experience the world in a logical way. I recall a time not so long ago when I became aware of how disconnected I was from my body. When I tuned in to myself, I realised that I was only really in touch with the feelings in my head, completely switched off from the sensations in the rest of my body. Throughout my life, as with so many people, I was encouraged to think, to analyse and to speak. Apart from incidental times like completing sport and when being in pain, I spent most my life in my head.

Being In Touch With Your Body

It is so clear to me now the need for people to experience more of this life in their body, to feel the subtle sensations that are accessible in every single moment throughout the day. Animals are a great example of this, completely in touch with their bodies, using their senses to guide them in the world. They are present to what is, not worrying about the past and stressing about the future, just living in complete presence of what is.

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How To Embody Your Inner Animal

One of the most exhilarating places to embody your inner animal is when connecting sexually with another. When all your senses are turned on and alive it makes for an extremely fun, pleasurable and energising sexual experience. The most enticing part of sex is how good it feels-what could be better than tuning in and amplifying your senses to increase the pleasure during sexual play? Being out of our minds and completely in our body making love with another is one of the most incredible experiences to have if we dare to step into it.

Approaching sex in an animalistic way can look and feel unique for each person. From roaring, purring or growling in your partner’s ear to crawling on all fours, wrestling or being wild like an animal during foreplay, the possibilities are endless.

Doing this with a partner who you trust and can express yourself freely with is crucial for you to really access that wild animal living inside you. It may feel a bit awkward to start with-not unlike a lion cub finding its roar- but if you really take the time and be courageously vulnerable, you’ll eventually access a primal side of yourself that loves to come out and play!!

One of my favourite ways to connect with my inner animal and my man simultaneously is to wrestle. I highly recommend you trying this one out with a partner if you are both up for an adventure!

Find yourselves a soft floor or mattress with enough space to avoid banging up against anything and ensure any breakables are out of reach. Get on all fours as if you were a lion or tiger (or magical unicorn if that is your thing!) and face your partner. Now depending on how easy it is for you to connect with your wild side, you may or may not want to take some time to close your eyes and connect to yourself. Breathe deeply, notice your heart beating, the energy moving through your body and any sensations that grab your attention. Opening your eyes and bringing a sense of playfulness to the experience, look your partner in the eyes and stare them down as if you are a wolf and they are your prey-ready to devour. Find your growl, express whatever noises want to come out and move around on your hands and knees as if you are stalking them and wanting to catch them. Go wild (with some mindfulness to avoid hurting them of course!) and have fun playing!

Whatever comes next is up to the two of you-sometimes for me it has turned into a hilarious and comical bit of fun where we’re both in hysterics, other times a wild, animalistic lead into amazing sex!! Avoid expectations, enjoy yourselves and use it as an amazing chance to see a different side of yourself and your partner.

Getting in touch with this side of myself has meant I feel more throughout my day to day life and experience more pleasure in my body during sex- purely because I am out of my head and in it. I cannot recommend exploring your inner animal enough-there may be a raging Jaguar roaring inside ready to pounce (or a cute purring kitty cat…only one way to find out!). I also apply these 6 Sure Fire Tantra Methods to my sexual lifestyle to make the experience even better!

Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA Nursing

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Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph's writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.

6 Sure Fire Tantra Methods!

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My 25 years on this earth have led me to many conclusions and realisations, the most relevant right now being that sex is one of the most exciting topics of conversation. I don’t know if it’s the people I seem to attract into my life or my own willingness to turn any conversation into one about sex but I end up talking about it all the time (Working in an Adult Store and studying Sexology, it’s expected with the territory too I guess!!).

I notice how so many men and women light up when given the space to discuss one of the most intimate areas of their lives. It fills me with so much joy when I have people come into an Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres shy and nervous initially and then leave talking explicitly about sex and not wanting to stop.

Sex and the overt representation of sexuality is everywhere in our lives, from advertising and social media to pornography and films. Despite this, there is a lack of frank conversation about sexuality meaning many people have a warped perception of what healthy sexuality looks and feels like. One of the concerns with society’s widespread unwillingness to discuss sexuality is that when it comes to developing healthy sexual relationships, many people are unsure of how to speak of sex with the people they’re actually having it with.

I know of many people who struggle to talk openly with their intimate partners about sex sometimes resulting in unhealthy consequences. The repercussions of leaving things unspoken with our intimate partners can result in unnecessary conflicts, physical and emotional trauma and general unfulfilling sex lives.

We miss out on accessing the potential of our capacity to feel exquisite pleasure because we struggle to ask for what we like and we remain silent when something doesn’t feel good.

I recall a time a couple of years ago when I was being intimate with a new lover and he asked what it was I wanted. I remember freezing in fear and had no idea how to put what felt good for my body in words. I think I ended up saying something along the lines of “what you’re doing” just because I was so mortified that I didn’t know how to ask for what I desired.

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Throwing myself in the deep end shortly after this experience, I discovered the world of Tantra and Conscious Sexuality which provided me with some tools I needed to communicate clearly with my intimate partners. I’ve including the following tips that if applied, have the potential to lead to greater levels of intimacy, connection and pleasure in your sexual relationships:

1. Be Open To Talk About Sex

Speaking of any discomforts you may have around talking about sex is an excellent first step. Let your partner know that you would like to be more open discussing sex and acknowledge the fact that it may be a difficult conversation to begin for the both of you. Express the importance of opening this conversation and speak with honesty.

2. Use Explicit Words

If the thought of even speaking words associated with sex makes you cringe, I recommend trying this exercise with your partner. Jump in the deep end and throw explicit words at one another. It may go something like this “Cock, pussy, lick, anal, orgasm, cum, wet, squirt.” Think of this as the ultimate “ice-breaker.” Come up with as many words as you can that you identify as sexual and get used to saying them to each other. In little to no time, it will be a breeze to say what you need without shame or embarrassment. Make it fun and playful because sex is supposed to be!

3. Take Ownership Of Your Feelings

Stay away from blame and take ownership of how you feel. Instead of “You’re really bad in bed and you need to change” turn it into “I am feeling like there is so much more I want to experience sexually and I would love to try this with you next time.”

4. Try The Palm Exercise

Take in turns tickling each other’s palms with your fingers and make adjustments that will lead to a more pleasurable experience. “May I have a softer touch?” “Can you move your finger faster/slower?” “Can you give the top right hand corner more attention?” Becoming used to asking for what you need in a non-sexual activity will translate to greater comfort and ease asking for what we desire sexually.

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6. Get To Know Your Body

Last but certainly not least, get to know your own body and what feels pleasurable to you. I cannot express the importance of this enough!! If you don’t know what feels good to your body, how can you expect that you can communicate clearly to your partner? Sex can be a hit or miss and expecting your partner to know everything that turns you on is a lot of pressure.

When talking about sex with your partner/s becomes easeful, the possibilities to explore sexuality and sexual expression are endless. You can try different things, express fantasies and desires and get to know your partner more deeply…in more ways than one!! You can also talk about what is Tantra Sex and how to incorporate into your lifestyle.

Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA NursingSave

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Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph's writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.