6 Places To Have Sneaky Christmas Sex All Year Round

Couple kissing on bed at Christmas

For some Christmas sex is an exciting event that occurs after a wonderful warm and happy Christmas. Pleasantly drunk and riding high on the waves of gifts, attention and family time, Christmas sex can be special, red lingerie with white fur trim, funny Christmas themed boxers coupled with plenty of time off work it is the perfect storm of arousal… for some.  See the key to amazing Christmas sex seems to be having a place to do it. A room with a bed and a door that locks might not seem like too much to ask but when the whole family is in town; space is a luxury that few have.

Christmas lingerie for men and women
Image: A man and woman wearing Christmas lingerie

I was sitting around on Boxing Day with a group of couple friends (we are a friendship group made up of couples, get it couple friends), all of us fleeing from our families for a few precious hours and the topic of Christmas sex came up. All of us, every single one had found getting busy a near impossibility, we all knew that Christmas could and should be a sexy time but all of us found it wasn’t in the cards this year. Little privacy, too many people around, shared sleeping arrangements and the closeness of ears all kept us with our pants disappointedly on. And I totally get why, when I think of Christmas sex I don’t think of a quickie in the bathroom while Mum and Grandma go out to get more fruit for the pav, Christmas sex should be slow, loving and relaxed. However much like the holiday itself, Christmas sex never turns out that way.

A pavlova cake with fruit
Image: Pavlova

Inspired by this I’ve decided to compile a list of the potential locations that you can use when you want to get down but need to be subtle about it.  Now while this list was inspired by my Christmas trip home, these tips will be useful for a range of situations including:

  • Still living at home with parents
  • People with Kids still living at home (young and old)
  • Non-Christmas home visits
  • Share houses
  • Hostels
  • Anytime you want to have sex but not have everyone know about it.

In these locations, you can even bring your favourite couple’s sex toy with you!

Bathroom

While a quickie bent over the sink maybe your bathroom sex habit, but you can take some extra time and get more creative. Put the towels on the floor to create a soft surface, close the toilet lid and use it as a seat, jump in the shower together and get clean and dirty at the same time.

A bathroom floor painted with the sky
Image: Painted Bathroom Floor

Advantages: Usually pretty clean, running water can cover any noise and clean-up will be simple because you are already where you needed to be.

Disadvantages: Having sex in the same room as the loo, cold tiles and someone may need to use the bathroom while you are in there.

Pro-tip: This works best in a house with more than one bathroom.

Garage

Maybe not the first choice but a quiet garage can be the perfect place for some loving. There is normally plenty of space and garages are usually pretty separate from the rest of the house. Plus they can lock. Take a blanket, a bottle of wine and set up for some alone time.  HOWEVER this will not work if you have a garage person in your house (A dad, brother, uncle etc. that hangs out in the shed more than anywhere else) It could get weird.

Garage for sex
Image: Garage

Advantages: Normally empty, normally lockable and away from people.

Disadvantages: It’s a garage with tools, oil and a lawn mower etc. A garage is more open to the elements and lets be real no one really keeps them very clean.

Laundry

Is there a laundry room in the house? Does it have a door? If so you’ve got a place to get busy! Parents have known this one for years and have made it a classic! The laundry is a loud mostly empty room that kids never go in. During the holidays the laundry may see more action (of the washing type) but if you time it right this could really work.

Sex in the laundry
Image: Laundry Sucks

Advantages:  Loud room to cover sounds, potential for many soft surfaces (as long as you don’t mind dirty clothes) and the washing machine may even have a part to play in your fun.  Put it on a spin cycle, feels the stimulating sensations as if it were a vibrator, start foreplay and thank me later.

Disadvantages: The laundry room can be at the centre of the house and many even are a thoroughfare. This will only work for the right laundry. Also Mum may burst in to see how the nappy soaking is going.

Cubby House

Do Mum and Dad still have your childhood cubby house in their yard? Make use of it! While a little cramped and dusty it can do quite well in a pinch and it brings new meaning to playing house.

An outdoor cubby house
Image: A Cubby House

Advantages: No one has looked at that thing for years so as long as you are sneaky getting in and out you should be able to go undetected. Plus being outside the main house gives it more privacy, actually on second thought, why didn’t we just stay in the cubby house?

Disadvantages: Seriously no one has been in there for years so watch for spiders and bugs.  Also I advise doing this with a long disused cubby house. Don’t do this in one that is still being used by children, you don’t want to scar them for life.

The Car

A classic. Drive to an isolated location, turn on the radio and fog up the windows.

The auto-erotic handbook
Image: Carma Sutra

Advantages: It’s mobile, the doors lock and in the right model the seat warmers can add a welcome addition on a cold night.

Disadvantages: A car has windows that people can see into. Sex in public spaces is also risky and you could get arrested (although a warning is much more likely).

Outdoors

This is very similar to the car but instead you find a secluded spot, set up a blanket and connect not only with your partner but the great outdoors as well.

Someecards with a quote about outdoor sex
Image: Outdoor Sex Someecards

Advantage: You are finally alone so no need to hold back, also the rush of having sex outdoors can be fun.

Disadvantages: Not picking the right location and ending up scaring some nice hikers with your bare arse. Also bug bites and sun burn. Also as with the car, kind of illegal.

And that’s it, I’m out of ideas for alternative places to do but before I go I just want to remind you, I take no responsibility for any broken laws or embarrassment. You should definitely have a look at these crazy places to have public sex!

Happy Humping!

Author: Jamie is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

14 Crazy Places To Have Sex

Couple Kissing In a Pool

Having sex in public places will get your adrenaline pumping in a new way which you may have never experienced before. Here are 14 crazy places you can have sex.

  1. In A Canoe On The Water: If you are planning on having sex in a canoe you will need to be careful as you may accidentally flip the canoe over and capsize from all the moving around. To top that off, the wood may feel very hard on your body so you should definitely use a blanket. As long as you don’t flip the canoe over, having sex in a canoe would be a lot of fun!
  2. In A Stairwell Or Elevator: If you live in an apartment building that has an emergency exit door that is linked to a stair well that is secluded, it would be relatively safe to have sex there late at night. You could also try having sex in your apartment’s elevator that has been stopped, but keep an eye or ear out for when it starts moving or any doors that are opening or closing as that could be a sign of people coming your way. Living in the moment is the key to thoroughly enjoying sex in a stairwell or elevator as you will get an adrenaline rush from the feeling of almost getting caught.
  3. In An Attic: Due to all the objects and boxes sitting around in an attic, there isn’t too much room for movement but the lack of room will make you stay nice and close to their body.
  4. In The Backseat Of A Car: If you plan on having sex in the backseat of car, I suggest you do it in a long car, one where you can put the seats down. Some of my companions have attempted it in a little automatic subaru car however the sex turned out to be a disaster. Sex in a car can be hot though it can also be somewhat awkward if you don’t have enough space. To make things easier you can opt for a hand job or a finger fuck in the drive in cinema or in a secluded car park. Industrial areas are generally deserted and if you want to ensure you remain anonymous you can pick an area that’s not local. For your personal safety ensure your doors are locked and the windows are up to keep any bugs away.
  5. At A Waterfall In A State Park: If you go to a public area like a waterfall, be cautious of who is around. I recommend swimming to a faraway secluded waterfall to ensure that when you are having sex you can do so in complete privacy.
  6. In The Restroom Of A Plane:  So you are planning on taking a trip in an aeroplane and want to have a quickie in the restroom. The first rule is to let your companion know which restroom you will be in so they can meet you there without any stress. That way, nobody would be suspicious.
  7. In A Pool On A Loft: The great thing about using a pool on a loft is that anyone who comes across you having sex will realise it but they will be unable to see anything clearly since your bodies are under the water.
  8. In The Office: There’s certainly one way to clear a desk in an office and put everything in the out folder. Discretion is key in this situation. There was a couple in New Zealand who were caught in the act in their building, both of them faced a rather awkward and potentially damaging office meeting during the incident.
  9. In A Movie Theatre: A movie theatre is a perfect place to indulge in some finger fucking or a quick hand job. Pick a seat which is in the back row and ensure there are only a few people around.
  10. On A Park Bench: The best time to have sex on a park bench is at night, under the stars to add a touch of romance.
  11. At A Beach: If you plan on having sex on the beach, be careful where you get the sand! But if you have sex with your bodies under the water, not many people who see you will know unless they are up close and personal.
  12. On a Hiking Trail: You can find private areas on a hiking trail that are often hidden with shrubbery, bushes and trees.
  13. At A Golf Course: You can have sex at night time on a clean cut golf course. There will be spinklers, low lighting and a lot of soft mountains of grass to roll around on.
  14. In The Change Rooms: Having sex in a change room is probably a risky spot since there are normally people waiting outside but it will definitely give you an adrenaline rush!
Two People On A Mountain
Photo: Couple On A Hiking Trail

A Sex Toy You Can Wear In Public

If an adventure like that isn’t exactly what you’re after, you can try using a discreet couples sex toy like the We-Vibe 4 Plus the number 1 couples vibrator. The We-Vibe 4 Plus is worn inside the vagina which can be used comfortably during penetrative sex. It comes with a wireless remote or you can download the We-Connect application to your smartphone and control the sex toys vibrations no matter where you are in the world. The vibrator can be worn when you are out and about. For example, a lover can wear it when they are on the train and their lover can control the vibrator functions. Or maybe you can use it when you’re doing a mundane task like when you are grocery shopping.

Remote Controlled Sex Toys For Men

Don’t panic boys, there are remote controlled sex toys for you as well. There are many remote controlled Butt Plugs for those that enjoy anal play and there is also the NU Sensuelle Remote Controlled Cock Ring with 20 functions.

So Why Limit Yourself To Just Bedroom Sex?

I’m not suggesting you replace it entirely but you can definitely kick things up a few gears by exploring your sexual lifestyle outside of the bedroom. All these places have different levels of risk of being caught however this will intensify the thrill and completely expand you’re sexual mind. Enjoy and happy exploring!

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