Edging 101: What To Do and How To Get Started

Man kissing his girlfriend

“When you are pulling against the restraints… when your back is arched and your hips are writhing… when your mouth is open in a silent scream of tortured rapture… you will know that my work has begun”. – Pleasure Torture

Edging or orgasm control can be achieved through masturbation or help from a partner. We have partnered up with Bait’D Designs BDSM, Sex, and Jewelry Blog to teach you how to get started edging for your first time.

What is Edging?

During sex, BDSM, and kinks, achieving orgasms is not the only thing that can bring you or your partner pleasure. Edging is a popular method that involves controlling orgasms by bringing you or your partner to the brink of orgasm, and then right before it happens, you back away. Then you repeat this process over and over again, building up your sexual energy until you or your partner finally allow you to achieve an orgasm. The sexual energy building up to an orgasm can be similar to the sexual energy you build from celibacy. You can repeat the edging process multiple times to intensify you or your partner’s orgasm. For men, this exercise can increase the volume of ejaculation and force of ejaculation. This can be effective especially for men who suffer from premature ejaculation. Other popular terms that can describe the act of edging are peaking, surfing, or riding the edge.

Edging For Women

Edging for women is a difficult process to master. You want to focus on getting her to approach an orgasm, but don’t let it actually happen. Some people find it beneficial for the women to alert their partner when they are getting close to an orgasm so that their partner knows when to back off. When men typically hear that their women is about to ‘cum’, their usual instinct is to go harder, but in the case of edging, this requires some discipline from both participants. It is important to remember that as you are edging a woman, the smallest change can make a huge impact. Sometimes change will make a women lose the build up to an orgasm, or it may bring her over the edge. Losing an orgasm will send her into the refractory period, and then you will have to start over to build up that orgasm again. Staying consistent is key and the lighter touch, the better. In fact, 70% of women who like edging say lighter touches help to reduce the pressure when climax is near. Everyone is different so what works for one women may not work for another.

If you are going in solo you will also need to have some discipline as well. Our natural instinct is to keep going when something feels good, so you will need to be able to slow down and prevent yourself from orgasm, especially since you know your body best.

There are a variety of methods you can use to perform edging on a woman, but the easiest would be with the external clit (or clitoris). You can perform edging on your lady partner by rubbing, licking, and other movements. For a more advanced way to edge a women, you can try G-spot stimulation. The G-spot orgasm is harder to control because you are dealing with the sensitivity of the vagina walls, as well as vulva stimulation. It is recommended that you start out with a vibrator or dildo instead to stay more consistent in this area if you are just starting to learn how to edge.

Dom overpowering woman
Image: Dom

Edging For Men

Benefits for edging men include increased testosterone levels, lasting longer during sex, and self-discipline. Edging for men also helps to minimize or overcome premature ejaculation when done properly and consistently. During the edging process you are training the brain to be comfortable achieving a high level of sexual pleasure without ejaculating. Much like edging for a women, edging a man also follows the same principles. The giver and receiver must be disciplined and not get over excited during this process.

Edging for a man can occur with a hand job, blow job, vibrating cock ring, or whatever tickles your fancy. Let your imagination explore the possibilities. It is recommended that edging is done without the use of porn for a more controlled environment.

For men, there is also a popular ballooning technique that is similar to the edging, but a lot of men who have done it feel it is better than edging. Ballooning begins by masturbating and gently rubbing the sensitive part of the penis until full erection is achieved. Continue to stimulate and then just before ejaculation, you slow down the stimulation. At this time, you should incorporate medium Kegels exercises as you inhale, and then release the Kegels as you exhale. You should increase the intensity of the Kegels upon every inhale, and repeat this process just like you are doing reps in the gym. During intercourse, this technique can also provide a stimulating effect for the women.

Edging As A Dominant

Edging is often used as a way for a dominant to take control of their submissive by using erotic denial as control. Some masters allow their slave to masturbate without orgasm. Masters will usually give their slaves tasks and will tell a slave how many times during the day they should take themselves to the edge of orgasm and stop. The slave learns that their orgasms are owned by their master and practices control and discipline. The master can also incorporate punishments when they orgasm. Beyond edging, orgasm control for a dominant or master can also mean not allowing your slave/submissive to stop cumming until they beg you to stop.

It’s always beneficial to spice up your sexual routine. Now you know the basics, so get out there and experience edging for yourself! Whether you are going in solo, edging your partner, or receiving, the benefits from edging will help enhance you and your partner’s sex life for the better.

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Couple on Bed Disgruntled

“Are you finished already?”

she said, you could just see the disappointment in her face. Her whole body language changed. 5 minutes ago I could not get her to be quiet whilst my fingers were wondering around her soft skin, her chest raising and then crashing down hard like waves hitting a cliffs edge as she gasped with pleasure. Her heart racing as it shot blood to all her erogenous zones.  In just 2 minutes of inserting myself inside of her, I had unloaded. Carly had been my girlfriend for 2 years now and I thought she was used to it but this time I think it just pushed us both over the edge.

My first time was exactly the same, except I lied when I had cum and said that I had a cramp to cover up that I blew prematurely. She believed me the first time, but started to put the pieces together every time we had sex until she just came out and told me that she understands that I always prematurely ejaculate. That was a sad moment for me because I had to accept it myself and not just think it was because I had a beautiful girlfriend. I had searched up on the internet things I could do to last longer so at least Carly can get some more pleasure while we have sex; all the websites just pushed me onto ridiculously priced scams and methods to make you

“last longer”, or “go all night”.

I got sick of searching for ways to try better the situation; I thought it was like your blood type, you’re born with it and have it until you die. I couple weeks after giving up all hope on lasting longer in bed; I just came to terms that I have to make the most out of the 2 minutes of sex.

Premature Ejaculation Solutions

A few weeks later, I thought to myself that I would get Carly a cheeky sex toy, to give her something to look forward to when we have sex. I went into an adult store called Oh Zone, not what I had expected at all. When I walked up the stairs I was expecting to be greeted by a sleazy worker, in a dingy dark store that hadn’t been cleaned in 5 months. I was wrong. When I walked up the stairs I was greeted straight away by a young guy,.

“How are you mate” he said.

I didn’t know how to reply but I just gave him a happy nod.

“If there is anything I can help you with please let me know, I would be happy to help” he continued.

There was so much to choose from, half of the names and categories I had never heard of. I turned around to the guy and I just fired out as many questions that came to my head, “What’s a rabbit?” “Is this toy stimulating for her?” “What is the point of a cock ring?” I couldn’t control my curiosity and then… it slipped!

“How can you last longer in bed?”.

He did not look shocked at all when I asked him these questions; he was like a stone in a river, just letting the questions flow. He responded in detail to all of them but it was the last response I was particularly interested in. “Lasting longer in bed has been a lot of men’s desire. To last longer I can recommend two products, one is short term and one is long term benefits, use them both and you will take control of your destiny” he said while he laughed. “I mean your ejaculation” he continued to smirk.

The two products he decided to show me was a Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit and Pjur Superhero Spray both looked so complicated but he explained it to me in the simplest way. The Pjur Superhero spray was a numbing spray that you spray on the head of the penis and it temporarily numbs it allowing you to last longer. This was the short term method. The Fleshlight was the long term method, how it would work is you teach your body while you are masturbating to last longer, the Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit is a soft silicone sleeve with ripples and different textures in a hard discrete plastic case. Instead of using your hand to masturbate you use this and it replicates the real feel of having intercourse especially if you use a warming lube. I walked out with both of them in my hand and a new found confidence that when I use these products in 6 months I’m going to be at my peak sexual performance.

Here 7 months down the track I can honestly say I went from lasting only 30 – 40 seconds to now being able to last a solid 10 – 15 minutes. My confidence in myself and my relationship with Carly is so much stronger, and she is always cumming before me as I don’t cum so fast. If I didn’t have the confidence to first walk into that adult shop to see what I could do about my issue, I would still be a sexual mess today and most probably a single sexual mess. Best decision of my life!

By AJ

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