How Do We Remain Sexually Active When Apart?

vr relationships

Hi Oz, My girlfriend has recently had to move to Sydney for work while I have to stay out west for uni. Do you have any suggestions for what can help keep us sexually active together, even when we’re so far apart? We do see each other every week or two, but we both enjoy sex a lot more than that. – WH


Hi WH,

Thanks for your email. You, my friend, are in luck. The world of adult entertainment, be it porn or toys, has always been at the forefront of technology. Remember when Blu-Ray first came out, at the same time so did HD-DVD? Don’t remember HD-DVD, that’s because it dissappeared when the porn industry decided to exclusively use Blu-Ray. The same happened decades earlier when VHS and Beta video both hit the market.

At the moment, there are a range of different brands out there offering very interactive toys for people in situations like yours. Probably the best out there has been developed by Kiiroo. They have a range of devices for him and her available, all available to interect on the free Feel Connect app.

For her, there’s the Pearl 2, Fuse and Cliona. The Pearl 2 is a strong solid regular vibe, the Fuse is the rabbit version. The Cliona is an external toy only. For him, the Onyx 2 delivers possibly the most realistic blowjob-like sensations out on the market, while adding a Fleshlight Launch to your regular Fleshlight will turn it into an interactive thrusting toy that takes you closer to penetrative sex, with needing to stroke as you go and save you a lot of cardio.

In saying that, the Kiiroo range, including the Fleshlight variatations, can be quite pricey. We-Vibe is one of the leading sex tech brands out there, and all about adding a new level of fun to couples both near and far. Utilizing their free We-Connect app, one is about to take control of their partner’s device, from anywhere in the world.

The We-Vibe Sync is easily the most popular couples toy, and with its ergonomic u-shaped design, it provides both internal and external stimulation for her. It’s great for teasing her on date night as well as for an extra buzz during penetrative sex, but I feel it wouldn’t be the right toy in your circumstance. Perhaps she’d rather the Nova, a bulbous g-spot rabbit vibe that will really get her over the edge. For you, the Verge is a vibrating cock ring that while designed to vibe on your perenenium, is quite versatile and you can turn it around with playing together to stimulate her clit, or use it as a way to supercharge your finger action. The Vector is a nice rumbly prostate toy you may enjoy, or the We-Vibe Ditto is a vibrating anal plug that’s fun for either of you to use.

The above mentioned toys are all about interaction, taking an active role in exactly how your partner gets off. Their apps both feature in-app video connections, but if you’d rather take matters into your own hands (so to speak), there are plenty of regular free apps out there to connect with video chat functionality.

You can always check out the best couples sex toys of 2020 to get further ideas too.

To maximise this visual aspect of play together, for you I’d suggest a Fleshlight Ice. It’s similar to a regular Fleshlight, but the sheath is clear, so she can see all the goodness going on within.

For her, and for the majority of women, it’s all about clit play. Some fantastic, rechargeable bullets are out there, notably We-Vibe’s own Tango, Femme Funn’s ultra bullet, or The Queen from Evolved, a rumble toy with a flared base to allow for some insertion play too.

Lastly, if you really want the sensation of being together, and want to go old-school and lo-fi, why not make a mold of each other? Clone-A-Willy provides everything you need to make a dildo exactly from your own penis, just as the Clone-A-Pussy will provide you with a familiar feeling pocket pussy.

Good luck, and have fun!


Oz answers your sexual health and relationship questions..  He is a consultant at the Oh Zone adult stores.

What You Need To Clone-A-Pussy!

Clone-A-Pussy in Hot Pink

One of Oh Zone customers favourite novelty items in the Adult Lifestyle Centres are the Clone-A-Willy kits which allow you to make a silicone replica of a man’s penis. I think these are such an amazing gift, perfect for couples (think long distance relationships and having an exact vibrating replica of your man’s penis…hot!!) and people who are interested in a gag gift for friends. Being a woman, I was a little jealous that men had the option to replicate their manhood yet when it came to my womanly parts, there was no equivalent. I was ridiculously excited to come in one day to work to find the Clone-A-Pussy Kit sitting on the shelf and grabbed it straight away with eager anticipation. A replica of my pussy, what is not to be excited about?!

My Silicone Replica Of My Vulva

I mentioned to several people my excitement to have a silicone replica of my vulva and it was met with mixed reactions. “Why the hell would you want to do that?” was the most common response which got me thinking why exactly it was that I was so keen to try it. Did this mean I was a narcissist? I mean it kind of seems like the equivalent of having a picture of yourself (and just you) on your bedside table staring at you as you wake in the morning, reminding you how amazing you are. A wise person once told me “If you worry about being a narcissist, you most definitely are not one” so I was able to eliminate a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and quickly realised that my desire to do this was an act of self-love, a reclamation of sorts.

Clone-A-Pussy in Hot Pink
Buy Now | Empire Labs Silicone Molding Kit Shop

There exists so much shame in the collective feminine in regard to our bodies and our pussies. We are taught that what lies between our legs is something to keep hidden and are rarely encouraged to explore what our pussies look like. I have spoken to women aged into their 60’s who claim that they have never seen what their vulvas look like. Some of these women have even given birth to babies!! How can we fully grasp what is happening to our bodies during life changing experiences such as childbirth if we don’t even know what our reproductive organs look like? And how can we expect a lover or partner to accept every part of our bodies if we don’t even know what they are looking at down there?

Unlike men whose genitals are external, women need to really take the time to explore their female external genitalia (vulva). This could mean grabbing a hand mirror or taking a pussy selfie. I would encourage any and every woman to try this exercise out and really observe what your pussy looks like, get to know it and understand where your anatomy sits. It’s a great practice to start for health purposes as you will be able to see if there’s any unusual changes occurring. It’s also helpful so that when you are communicating to sexual partners, you have a visual idea of what you’re asking for.

How I Used My Clone-A-Pussy Kit

Getting back to my experience with the Clone-A-Pussy Kit, this process was just a way of finding love and appreciation for the most precious part of my body, which was something different and fun to do. I took it home and couldn’t wait to see what mine would look like in hot pink silicone. The instructions on the back made it sound so simple, telling me to mix warm water with the moulding powder and place in the moulding cup. It then said to place the cup over my vulva and wait for it to set before taking it away. You then pour the silicone into the mould and wait for it to set before it’s done!

I mixed the moulding powder and placed it into the cup. By the time I walked into the bathroom and took my pants off the mould had already set!!! There was not a chance it was going to work now. I tried melting it with hot water, trying to soften it but with no success. It grinded my gears because there was no warning about how quickly the mould would set, the instructions were quite simplistic. For it to work, you would have to be ready to go straight after quickly mixing the powder and water, and instantly place it over your vulva. So now I am stuck with hot pink silicone in a jar and no pussy replica. I considered placing the silicone into one of those long ice cube moulds to make a mini dildo toy but gave up on that silly idea. I am determined to give this kit another go since it was actually a really easy process if I knew how quick setting the mould was. A bonus now is that I will be able to create 2 copies with the extra silicone- Yay to the lucky person who gets the second copy for their birthday!!

What Happens When We Love Our Bodies

There is something so empowering about loving all parts of our bodies. I have found that once we can find love and accept the way our vulvas look then finding love for all other parts of our bodies will become so much easier. The process of fully loving our bodies unconditionally isn’t a short one but it is definitely a worthwhile journey necessary for every women to start. It has made me feel pride for my body and femininity. I feel so much more comfortable being naked and have opened to greater pleasure, intimacy and connection because of my willingness to get to know all parts of my body. The Clone-A-Pussy Kit is a great way for women to get to know their bodies and to make a positive step on their journey of body love and acceptance. Plus it would make for an amazing gift for your partner or spouse so they have a 3D version of possibly their favourite body part of yours!!

Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA NursingSave





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