Have you ever seen one of these adult films where the woman, for apparently no reason, goes to bed with a stranger or vice versa? Of course that you have — we all have seen them. After all, there are over 28,000 people watching porn every second.
However, it is good to keep in mind that this kind of movie is only the cinema projection of the author’s mind. Every new relationship takes time, sometimes years, to come to full fruition. Even the most believable story based on facts is not precise in some way or another.
However, there is one vital question we have to ask ourselves: why this movie scenario will not work for me? After all, some people wrote it. As human beings, they had to base it on something they previously experienced, witnessed, or fantasized about, have they not?
This article was written to deal with this sort of uncertainty! Here you will find three reasons why adult movies may not be the best source of inspiration when it comes to a healthy sex life and relationships.
They Are Too Fast-Paced
Sure, seeing professional porn actors and actresses using squirting dildos can look like a fun experience. However, how many couples do you think would decide to use them on the first date?
If you are in a long-term relationship, using sex toys can improve your experiences in bed. But, if you just met the other person, do not think they will want to make out with you or go even further. The progress of the story in the porn movie you watched is not really a reflection of reality.
Our social life does not function like this. We can approach the case of two people instantly falling in love with each other very rarely.
Next time you see a young man or woman sleeping with someone they’ve known for a few minutes, take it with a grain of salt. New relationships take time to mature and develop. Some would even say that to call other people ‘friends,’ they need to know them for years.
They Are Too Perfect
Everything that finally lands on the film tape is precisely prepared to be visually attractive. The stories that we are being told are designed to make us feel a certain way – like we could be one day in the place of the actors. However, our expectations are way too high.
Filmmakers put much time and effort to create the best experience for the viewer. What is more, actors and actresses also devote much time and often money, to improve their appearance. Not everyone could inherit such good genes or afford the help of plastic surgeons.
Additionally, not all of our friends look beautiful. We might also not be a high, muscular man or an attractive woman that looks like a 20-year-old. It is the thing that can get overlooked because it is perfectly normal.
The possibility to watch porn online via various porn sites made a significant impact on our lives. Having a media that presents only the pretty side of the story within our fingertips can be tempting. However, keep in mind that we should want less from our life than perfection.
They Omit the Consequences
Have you ever seen an adult movie that ended with a wedding or with a couple raising a pair of kids? Excluding some very niche scenarios, it has probably never happened. Can you say why? The answer is simple: in our world, consequences matter.
Being close to someone is burdened with consequences. As Emmanuel Levinas once said: “The very relationship with the other is the relationship with the future.” This statement perfectly captures what every adult film is not telling its spectator.
We change, we grow old, every year we become a little different. Hopefully, we change for the better. Nevertheless, it is inevitable that as the days go by, we have to make choices. And these choices always come with their consequences.
How we handle our sex life is one of these choices. And when the consequences can last for a long time in the form of kids and providing for a family, the case becomes quite complicated.
The Bottom Line
Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote in his famous book ‘The Brothers Karamazov’: “Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to the point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect, he ceases to love.”
Our lives without works of fiction would not be complete. However, it would often help our family life if we get rid of our unnecessary high expectations.
Many things can still be interesting without being a clear-cut representation of what we saw on our phone screen or read in some book. Live free of illusions, and everything will be fine. Good luck!
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