Have More Sex for Sounder Sleep

Lack of sleep is very common in Australia with as many as 39.8% of Australian adults battling to get a good night’s rest on a regular basis according to a report commissioned by the Sleep Health Foundation. This means that a whopping 7.4 million people are not sleeping as well as they should. While there are countless ways to try and combat insomnia such as prescription medication, herbal remedies, and white noise machines there is a much easier (and more enjoyable) way to ensure you catch some z’s at night: sex. More than 60% of people have indicated sounder sleep after a frolic between the sheets according to Dr Michele Lastella from the Appleton Institute of Behavioral Science at the Central Queensland University. So is sex really the answer to your sleepless nights? Let’s find out.

Sex releases sleep-inducing chemicals

When you have a mind-blowing orgasm, your body releases large amounts of hormones that envelope you in a multitude of warm & fuzzy feelings. Among these feel-good hormones are oxytocin, vasopressin, and dopamine which can all contribute greatly towards you getting a good night’s rest.  Of these, oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) is of most value to women as it reduces stress which is known to be a great contributor to insomnia. Dopamine, which triggers immense feelings of pleasure, helps you unwind before going to bed while vasopressin is known to be conducive of sleep. Apart from releasing a number of satisfying hormones, sex also surpasses the body’s dopamine secretion which results in reduced stress levels and an increased sense of euphoria.

Everyone sleeps better after a workout

By now we all know that regular exercise is good for us, but did you know that exercising could be the cure to your insomnia? Studies have shown that a stint of exercise of moderate to mild intensity can significantly reduce the amount of time it takes to fall asleep as well as enhance the quality of your sleep. Exercise has also been proven to decrease the seriousness of sleep-disordered breathing as well as lessen the severity of obstructive sleep apnea. While no one is going to prevent you from joining a gym or going for lengthy nightly jogs, you can always just get frisky in bed to reap the same benefits. If anyone dares tell you that sex is not considered to be real exercise, you can point out that sex burns up to 3.6 calories a minute which is more than your average vigorous walk does.

You send the correct signals to your brain

While having sex with the lights on is definitely hot, you can actually benefit by getting kinky in the dark as well. When we find ourselves in a horizontal position in bed our bodies tend to assume that it is time to prepare for sleep. According to bedtester.com, a comfortable mattress is paramount to sleeping through the night. By applying this logic to your entire bedtime routine, having sex on a comfortable mattress will give you the best possible chance at sound sleep as it is bound to leave you feeling completely relaxed, happy, and in need of proper rest afterwards.

If you don’t have a partner, go solo

While having a hot sexual partner to fool around with is ideal, it is important to note that it is the orgasm and not the actual sex that improves your sleep cycle. This basically means that, by masturbating, you can reap the exact same benefits as you would by working up a sweat with your partner. Next time you are battling to fall asleep, instead of popping a couple of sleeping tablets, practice some self-love instead. Masturbating will not only relax you, but the endorphins released during your very pleasurable orgasm will help you fall off to sleep happy and fulfilled.

Prepare for a wonderful chain reaction

While sex can undoubtedly help you sleep better at night, one cannot ignore the fact that more sleep can improve your sex life. According to research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, getting enough sleep can give your sexual response a very healthy boost which may lead to more frequent sex which will, in turn, improve your quality of sleep even more. If sex helps you sleep better, and sleep makes you have better sex you undoubtedly need to increase the frequency of both in your life as soon as possible.

It is good to know that, apart from supplying you with unmatched pleasure, sex is also good for you. If you often find yourself tossing and turning at night, encourage your partner to engage in some insomnia-busting sex sessions or, alternatively, lube up your vibrator or sex sleeve and orgasm your way to peaceful, sound sleep.

Sex Is Fun!

Sex is fun!

It’s pleasurable, we do it with ourselves and others because we want to and we enjoy it. It feels good. But what happens when you’re not enjoying it? What happens when your sex drive seems to have taken a nose dive and something that you once enjoyed has become a bit of chore? With Valentines Day coming up, we’re going to go through a few reasons as to why you might not be enjoying sex and how you can navigate through them. I’m going to say navigate through them as opposed to fixing things, because the term fixing things implies that something is broken – when it comes to a lower sex drive, or when you’re not enjoying sex as much as you think you should be – there are actually a variety of reasons that can be present here and none of them imply brokenness. The truth of the matter is that your sex drive is determined by a variety of factors and it’s in a continual state of change depending on what is going on in your life and surroundings, as well as your physical and mental health. Regardless of whether your sexual dissatisfaction is long term, or short term its important to remember that your perfectly normal. With that in mind – lets go through some reasons as to why you might not be enjoying sex.

Note: This article contains information that may be triggering to those who have experienced sexual trauma or assault

You’re engaging, or being engaged in sexual activity before you’ve had time to become aroused.

Your mind and body may move at different speeds when it comes to becoming aroused, and the preparation of your mind and body is paramount to enjoyment. Foreplay is an activity that is designed to get the blood flowing throughout the body and in particular to the genitals. This blood flow increases arousal, and helps with lubrication, as well as the ability to climax during sexual activity. The issue here is something i’ve discussed in previous articles – many people equate the idea that sex equals intercourse. Foreplay is just as much sex and intimacy as intercourse, and it helps in taking the pressure off the idea that there’s only one outcome to sex – penetration/intercourse. Foreplay does not have to lead to this, and when you remember this, and acknowledge that, you may find yourself able to free your mind up and enjoy foreplay and the pleasure that that brings.

You’re not mentally or emotionally ready to have sex.

Sex and enjoyment is about context. If you’re stressed or anxious and a partner attempts to initiate sex – in most cases you will not be able to access the feelings of desire, and pleasure easily. For this reason it’s important to communicate how you’re feeling to your partner. Some people find sex and pleasure as a way of coping with stress, anxiety and moving past the day to day stresses of life, others might have trouble navigating through this.

Anxiety about your body or appearance.

Sex feels good but it is incredibly vulnerable. You’re naked, with a sexual partner, and during that moment your insecurities might rear their head. Anxiety about your body, appearance is the one of the biggest enemies to desire and pleasure. It’s difficult to believe that someone else will find pleasure in your body when you’re struggling. Again, this is about communication with your sexual partner. Identify those vulnerabilities and talk about them. If you feel that you can’t talk about them, then you may need to address them in other ways. Self-doubt is one of the biggest pleasure killers around.

Discomfort around previous sexual experiences.

Sex is an incredibly vulnerable moment. And when someone has broken that trust before, it can set in motion a chain reaction of feelings, and thoughts and can be quite triggering in some situations. Whether you’re navigating through previous trauma, or if you’re worried about your level of sexual experience in comparison to your partners – these thoughts and feelings will usually creep up before, during or even after sex – making enjoyment quite difficult. Communicating with your partner about your concerns, or seeking professional help when it comes to trauma or abuse is one way of moving a step forward.

You’re not comfortable around your partner

Sex involves a multitude of layers around intimacy. If you’re not able to be fully comfortable with your sexual partner, then chances are you’re going to have a hard time enjoying the experience. This may involve sitting down with your partner, and telling them what’s going on, or seeking professional help.

You have a shame, stigma or fear about your sexual needs, wants or kinks.

I mentioned a little earlier that sex doesn’t necessarily have to involve intercourse. Sex and sexuality exists on a wide, far reaching spectrum and every individual person has different needs, wants, kinks and even desires. Opening up to your sexual partner creates a certain vulnerability, and it can be intimidating – especially when it involves kink. Ultimately, the advice is pretty straight forward. If it’s about a need, kink or sexual want that you can’t live without – then you need to tell your partner or find someone that you can tell. Bottling up a safe, sane and consensual sexual need or kink is going to do you more harm than good because ultimately, you’ll continually find yourself being sexually dissatisfied causing both yourself, and your partner frustration and confusion. Honesty, openness and freedom is paramount to this one.

You’re on medication that profoundly impacts your sex drive.

Depression medication can kill your sex drive as well as a variety of over the counter medications. If you’re on prescription medication and experiencing a drop in your sex drive, it might be worth speaking to your medical professional about that. Especially when it comes to antidepressants, there are a range of different options that you may be able to use.

You have a medical condition that makes sex painful.

This can be quite common and can very quickly put a stop to the enjoyment of sex. There are a variety of medical conditions that can cause pain, dryness or even irritation after sexual intercourse. This might include skin conditions, autoimmune disorders, excess nerves, endometriosis and vaginismus. Men might also experience this with an overly curved dick, foreskin issues and anal fissures. This list is not exhaustive, and if you do not know why you are experiencing pain – see your doctor to find some answers. When you anticipate pain during or after intercourse, your body’s natural response will be to ignore arousal.

You may be trying to use positions that just don’t work for you

You might be experiencing pain or discomfort and this might not always be a medical condition. Sometimes, a position just might not work for you due to your partners size, or penile curvature. Dr Ingber, MD,  a Board-certified in Urology and Female Pelvic Medicine & Reconstructive Surgery at the Center for Specialized Women’s Health makes the following suggestion – If you’ve seen a medical professional and still don’t have a clear answer – then it might be wise to try different positions, lubricant, or even use toys to try and overcome the issue.

You’re not prioritizing sleeping, eating well or exercise.

There’s a connection between physical, mental, emotional, and sexual health. If you’re neglecting on of those pillars, you might find the others crumble a little bit. It’s important to take care of these pillars as trying to engage with sex when your body, brain or emotions aren’t quite aligned can be quite difficult and even stressful. Rest up before playing.

Drinking too little water

Fun Fact – dehydration can not only lower your libido, but it can actually make sex painful. Not drinking enough water can cause headaches, fatigue, and irritability which will absolutely hinder you getting in the mood. Lack of water can also create dry irritated skin which can potentially lead to pain during sex. There’s also studies out there which have linked dehydration to erectile dysfunction – so make sure to keep your water intake steady.


Stress is an absolute buzzkill. Worrying about finances, life, work, family, partners, car repairs and a multitude of other worries will kill your sex life. Mental energy plays an important role during the enjoyment of sex, and it can be easily distracted. If it’s paying attention to other things as opposed to your own body and pleasure, you’ll quickly find yourself not in the moment and definitely not enjoying yourself.

Secrets Of Sex

As you can see – there’s a variety of reasons that your libido might be low. It’s important to address medical concerns as quickly as possible, be open and honest with your partner and self about these issues. Acknowledgement, honesty and openness are the first steps to reclaiming your sex life, your own pleasure. Until next time. . .

Sex Leads to Healthy, Youthful Skin: Yet Another Reason to Indulge

Surprising statistics of Australian couples revealed that only 44% of women and 33% of men were “OK” with their state of sexual adventure. Whether this is due to a lack of time and energy available to expend on doing the deed or a mere lack of reasons to do so, it’s alarming, to say the least. If what Australian couples are looking for is a reason to get down and dirty, there certainly are plenty, namely the benefits it has on overall skin health. Because sex provides an oxygen boost to the skin, it’s no wonder that most couples experience an after-sex glow that leaves them looking like pure gods and goddesses. As if you needed another reason to have more sex.


The Science Behind Sex and Healthy Skin


Okay, so while it’s obviously preferred, you actually don’t have to orgasm to reap the skin benefits of sex. Having sex reduces cortisol levels, which is one of the ways in which it helps reduce stress, but reducing cortisol can also actually help your body produce more collagen. This helps your skin look soft, supple and smooth, which is a huge benefit for even the manliest of men. On top of reducing cortisol, sex helps get your blood flowing, which helps people maintain a brighter complexion. This is, as scientists point out, part of what creates the healthy glow post-sex, and can actually carry over to have long-term effects. In fact, you only need to be having sex a minimum of one to three times a week to begin to see the fruit of your labor begin to take effect, resulting in healthy, youthful skin.


Orgasms Do Help, Though


While an orgasm isn’t technically required to reap the benefits of post-sex healthy skin, it does help. Dr. Oz (who coincidentally isn’t from Oz) released information years ago that still holds true today. He said that people who have more orgasms can slow down the aging process, stating that 200 orgasms a year can help remove six physiological years off of your life. This is due to the fact that orgasming helps your body reduce hormones that help repair tissue, which in turn helps combat the formation of wrinkles and the sagging of skin in general. Sounds great, right? It gets better. Another researcher once found that, after studying 3,500 people, women who had three orgasms a week looked about 10 years younger than those who only had two. That doesn’t seem like a hard quota to meet, even if you have to call in help.


Post-Sex Naps Lead to Glowing Skin


Not to alarm you, but lack of sleep is slowly killing Australians. From work-related stress to issues with the in-laws, it’s a well-known fact that Australians aren’t getting enough sleep, and that’s actually one of the leading causes of tired, dull skin. Not only does a lack of sleep make your skin look tired, but it can also lead to hormonal imbalances, which is something sex can sort out fairly quickly. Thanks to oxytocin, which is often referred to as the cuddle hormone, we often feel sleepy after sex. It floods the brain post-sex and leads you straight into that relaxed, dream-like state after an orgasm that allows you to sleep so well. The result? A great night’s sleep with someone you love and a healthy glow the next morning. This is especially true for women, as studies show that women who have regular sex produce more estrogen, which contributes to healthier hair and skin.


Potential to Decrease Inflammation


If you’re worried about sex making your face look red from all of the action, you’ll be pleased to know that it actually has the opposite effect. The hormone oxytocin that’s responsible for the post-sex cuddle haze also works to decrease inflammation. This is likely why sex has been touted for helping reduce blemishes, severe acne and even the redness and inflammation that’s associated with skin-related conditions such as rosacea and eczema. However, people who have participated in personal studies regarding this matter note that your body’s hormones tend to even out fairly quickly, so to experience the acne-related benefits of sex, you’ll need to be having about an orgasm a day on a pretty consistent basis. Again, doesn’t sound like a hard quota to meet if you team up with a buddy to make it happen.


Sexy Skin

More Sex Leads to a Better You


With all of the compounding benefits of sex on skin health, there’s really no reason for couples not to be engaging in the act for pure health reasons. Decreased stress, increased levels of good hormones and decreased levels of bad ones, and an overall healthy glow to smooth, supple skin all sound like more than enough reason to hop into bed and reap the benefits of exploring your partner’s body. It’s nature’s most well-kept beauty secret, and it doesn’t seem to be going out of fashion any time soon.


A Sex Doll Saved My Relationship!

I know exactly what you’re thinking. How could sex dolls possibly save a relationship? If anything, they’re harmful to relationships, right? Before you pass your judgment and write these off, just give me a few minutes to show to you that sex dolls can actually improve or even save a stagnating relationship.


This will teach you about what sex dolls can add to your relationship, how they have changed throughout the years and fun things that couples can do with these dolls. By the end of this, you might want to get your own to surprise your spouse.


Sex Dolls Past and Present

Many people think the only type of sex dolls available are those ugly inflatable ones that had a terrible face and a few holes. The other view that many people have is that only unattractive men living in basements use these dolls. Both are very wrong.


Sex dolls have advanced wildly since these old inflatable versions. While the inflatable ones are still around, the most popular ones are silicone and TPE models. I urge you to look at any of these dolls and tell me they’re not beautiful. These materials feel almost like skin and have allowed manufacturers to create very realistic dolls.


Not only do they look and feel real to the hand, but many people report that it’s nearly identical to being with a real person. Some models are even having AI installed to make them move realistically or to react to your movement or pressure.


Due to this, men and women of all sorts own and use these dolls. They are significantly more expensive than the inflatable models of old, but they are so worth the price. Singles and couples have been using these type of sex dolls for years because they fulfill so many fantasies.


Overall Benefits

Sex dolls have benefits, and I don’t just mean how well they work in bed. They help you fulfill some very wild fantasies, which I will touch on later, but let’s talk about the many people who commonly use and own sex dolls.


Widows and widowers have been faced a hard blow by life. They still have sexual needs but aren’t ready to emotionally move on from their partner. They cannot invest themselves into a person, but they want an outlet for their feelings and needs. A sex doll is perfect. They look and feel like people, which gives widows and widowers healthy reassurance, while also giving them a safe space to release their urges. The dolls act as a stepping stone to help them cope and move on.


Homosexuals who are worried about coming out of the closet but still want to be with someone they find attractive will find that sex dolls provide them discretion and the confidence to have sex with who they want. It will give the person a space to express themselves without worrying about what others think of them.


Singles who want sex but aren’t ready to commit, or those who are worried that their looks may turn others away, can also receive some comfort from these sex dolls. Since they are so realistic, these people will get to enjoy their lives without feeling like they are missing out.


That leads us to couples. One of the many problems that couples face is that they get bored. You can try different positions, toys or new fetishes, but things will get boring if you don’t change anything. Sex dolls change that. It gives both of you a chance to have a threesome without any emotional investment. You can also both talk about what you want from the doll. How should it look? What types of features and body parts should it have? This is exciting, and both of you will be able to enjoy that excitement for years after finally getting the doll.

Erotic Doll


I’m talking about fantasies in two different ways here. I’ll first cover what you can do with the doll. What have you always wanted your partner to do? Many people love oral sex, but their partner may not be willing to do this, or they don’t do it very often. You can also experience rough fantasies, role play with costumes and accessories and so much more.


Sex dolls are basically adult toys, and their use is limited only by your imagination. Using the sex doll as a couple makes this even better as one partner can control the doll or use it to really add to the fantasy. No matter what you imagine, the doll can really add to it and many couples find that they become more expressive and creative with their sexuality.


The other aspect of fantasy that I want to cover is how the sex doll looks. I’m sure you love your partner very much and that’s not being called into question here, but everyone has an ideal body type that they drool over. Maybe you like certain parts really big or very small, or maybe you’ve always lusted over a certain celebrity.


No matter what your picture of the ideal human body is, sex dolls can be made to fit your fantasy. Many are made with common fantasies in mind. Aside from bodies that are almost impossible to find in real life, you can also experience fantasies that truly are impossible.


There are sex dolls made to look like elves with pointy ears and petite bodies, anime dolls with those iconic large eyes, furry sex dolls that are animal-like with human facial features and so much more. There are even custom dolls that allow you to take the reins of how the doll looks.


When it comes to couples, you might be surprised to know that shemale sex dolls are often the most popular. Coming packed with an anatomy to satisfy both partners, no one will feel left out. Some sex dolls are already made with this type of anatomy while others can easily be converted to have both parts.


What makes sex dolls so unique and interesting is that they can look however you want, and they add so much to your relationship. They can do whatever you want, no matter how crazy or weird the situation or fantasy.

Love Doll


I know a lot of people have misconceptions about sex dolls and it’s easy to see why. Many people still picture unattractive basement dwellers using ugly and vaguely human inflatable dolls in a desperate bid to satisfy their needs. The reality is that silicone and TPE sex dolls are truly beautiful and can be made to satisfy all your fantasies. Whether you’re looking for a shemale sex doll or anything else, these can help spice up your relationship and prevent either partner from feeling bored.


Talking about sex and admitting that you are bored can be difficult. Many people will go their whole lives without openly talking about these issues, but that’s unhealthy and it won’t help your relationship. Sex dolls have evolved dramatically throughout the years to the point where they are highly realistic and even therapeutic. Give them a try and you’ll see just how much good they can do for your relationship.

The Ugly Duckling Syndrome!!

What is ugly duckling syndrome?

I think this is best described in Shallow Hal the film. I’ve pulled this quote from the film, to sum up, what this condition entails.

“Ugly Duckling Syndrome, she probably didn’t get pretty until high school, thus the personality had to develop out of necessity… sometimes they’re ugly so long, when they finally turn pretty, they don’t even realize it! The ugly self-image is so well engraved, that’s a real find!” – Maurico, Shallow Hal, 2001.

For the life of me, I can’t take a compliment. Why? Because I have ugly duckling syndrome and it affects my ability to find love. My mother has always told me how beautiful I am but of course, I think she is biased. Retrospectively speaking, even now writing this article, I can’t think of one of my male friends who hasn’t complimented me on my physical appearance. Some have hit on me and some of them I slept with in my youth clearly seeking the validation of being desirable. I have had strangers approach me at bars and tell me I am attractive, some of them are married men. I get random social media adds from men across the seven seas asking for nudes. Yet, I still struggle to accept compliments about my looks.

I once laid in bed with a woman, I told her that she was beautiful; she cuddled into me and said, “No, you’re beautiful but you know you’re beautiful.” This baffled me that this beautiful woman wanted to share her bed with me and thought my beauty outweighed hers. I couldn’t believe it. I left my shirt on during sex and even after when she cuddled into me, she placed her hands on my stomach, back or thighs, I’d push her away – literally. I was in complete awe of this beautiful creature who thought I was attractive enough to spend the night and I was so worried about her thinking about my body fat that I ended up making her the little spoon, so her hands wouldn’t be on my body. A study conducted in 2016 found that appearance anxiety (ANN) found that women experience this kind of thought process at a much higher rate than men. For women, AAN correlated negatively with global self-esteem and positively with shyness, social avoidance and distress, and public self-consciousness. Furthermore, the study found that individuals who had ANN had a long history of making ill remarks regarding their appearance often linking back to feeling like an ugly child. (Dion, K. L., Dion, K. K., & Keelan, J. P. (1990).


I recently did some modelling for my friend who is an aspiring photographer and he often tells me that I am beautiful. I will deflect this compliment every single time and tell him it’s the Photoshop, lighting or professional hair and make-up. I can hear myself deflecting the compliment, a defensive mechanism that so ingrained in me it’s become my default behaviour.  This isn’t just limited to my looks if I did well in my class – I know I could have achieved a higher mark. If I cooked an amazing dish I could have added something else to it to make it a better dish. This hypercritical behaviour is what I do to keep myself down, a negative cycle of low self-esteem. While I can appreciate when I look in the mirror that the reflection looking back at me isn’t ugly, I would never say she is beautiful and that is really sad for me to admit.

This self-hatred stems from being the fat child, the ugly child, the weird child. These things manifested into my teens and early adulthood, being the fat, weird and ugly one meant I had to learn to be funny to make friends. I had to learn to be kind to maintain relationships with these people. Learning not to depend on my looks or body meant I had to rely on my wit, humour and human compassion. As an adult woman, I can say that I am such a good friend, I’d drop anything I was doing for someone who needed my help. I selflessly put others before myself, sometimes to my own detriment. I am the most empathetic person I know, I know I am caring and compassionate. Sometimes I wish I had a clone of me so I could be friends with me. I know that clone would never let me talk about myself the way I do. It’s funny that I never let my friends talk about themselves negatively but I say the most horrific things about myself.

On a positive note, having ugly duckling syndrome has made me an avid reader, which landed me into university where I acquired my bachelor’s degree. Having ugly duckling syndrome has made me a great conversationalist, able to hold witty and funny conversations with just about anyone, a skill I treasure. Having ugly duckling syndrome has made compassionate beyond belief, kind almost to a fault. Having ugly duckling syndrome has made me humble, and while it is frustrating for you to give me a compliment and me to dismiss it. You have to remember I’ve had a lifetime of people say things to hurt me and I am not sure if you’re going to hurt me too. I’ve had people abuse my kindness and try to dampen the light inside. I push you away and reject your compliments because I think the world is a dark place, I think you don’t mean it, I think you’re making fun of me. I reject your compliments because, after more than half a lifetime of being the ugly person, I am just perplexed as to how you think I am beautiful.


You might see a swan when you look at someone but for that someone with ugly duckling syndrome, they look in that mirror and still see that ugly duckling. They see that fat, ugly weird person and they don’t know why you think they are beautiful. So, be kind with your ugly ducklings, they are trying to see the swan that you see.