Being A REAL Red-Head – Ginger Baby!

Red Pubes

The things people say and do when you have red hair!

I spent many years of my life changing my hair colour often weekly, much to the horror of my hairdresser. As a self-confessed commitmentphobe, I never allowed myself the chance to really love a colour before moving onto the next colour on the chart, I’ve literally have been every colour possible. However, I have had vibrant red hair for about 4 years now, I will agree this colour choice is not for the faint of heart.

Vibrant red hair will inevitably attract the crazies,

the questions and unfortunately a horde of creeps. There are plenty fallacies surrounding redheads and trust me strangers are happy to discuss them with you given the chance.

People will ask you if the carpets match the drapes, seriously. You’re out enjoying a bevvy with your friends, minding your own business and next thing you know some dude is in your face asking about the shade of your pubes – something that never happened to me as any other colour. Which leads me to my next point: ‘What carpet’ is not a good response – ever! Seriously, trust me, ever.

You will be touched and as a person who does not liked to be touched this bothers me highly.

Dude at bar: “Can I touch it?”

Me: “No.”

Me: “Dude, no… and you’re touching me anyway.”

The touching is followed by several stupid questions: Is it real? What? My hair? Yes. The colour? No. Can you touch it? No. Can you call me Red? No. (Despite your response, your new nickname is forever Red) Oh, you always wanted to fuck a redhead? That’s nice. Please go away.

At this point you’re annoyed and people will just assume you’re feisty and fiery, even if you’re not. And if you are feisty, people will assume it’s your hair making you feisty. Yes, the dye magically seeps into my skull and makes me perpetually angry, it’s not your bullshit questions.

People assume you’re a freak in bed and will ask about your sexuality, I might be a freak in the sheets, I might be a dud root… You’ll never know.   Dude, walk the fuck away.

Red Hair Sex
Red Sexual Desire

Did you know that in medieval times red hair was associated with moral degradation and intense sexual desire?

If you see a natural redhead out and about, just know they now automatically hate you, particularly if you’re at bar fending off creeps. You see because natural redheads are seeing you getting positive attention from men for a hair colour they’ve had since birth and were mocked for relentlessly throughout puberty so natural redheads everywhere now hate you – don’t even bother trying.

                Being a fake redhead you will also never be mocked like a natural redhead, names like ‘ginger’ and ‘ranga’ never will be bestowed upon you, you also get to keep your soul, winning!

The Red hair accompanied with my blue eyes is like the rarest combination in the world – I am a walking anomaly, which every dude wants to get on top of apparently. #WERK!

People will compare you to Ariel from the little mermaid. Yep, and I am totally okay with this. You can touch my hair. What carpet? Didn’t you just say you wanted to fuck a redhead? God, I am such a Merslut.

So basically, to sum up, if you chose to come to the red side. Prepare to be touched a lot, be prepared for lots of people to tell you they’ve always wanted to fuck a redhead – seriously, I was not prepared for this. It’s a lot of people.

So if you’re thinking of being a red head – do it, be the object of everyone’s desire!

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

Pearl2 G-Spot Vibrator That Will Sync For Your Lover!

Kiiroo Sex Toy Review

Kiiroo Pearl2 is designed to fulfill sexual desires by allowing users to experience a new era of erotic pleasures. It opens the door to interactivity and allows everyone – no matter where they are – to share pleasures and connect with their lover and feel their embrace. Its design and technological innovation allows the fulfillment of our most intimate needs. As it reacts to our body’s natural movements, we can easily control the intensity of the vibrations it produces.

The Kiiroo Pearl2 comes with vibrations that stimulate the G-spot. Vibrators are touch-sensitive and Kiiroo is waterproof and this itself widens its usage. We can use and enjoy it whenever and wherever we want to. It is highly recommended for those that like to watch porn, those that like deep rumbly vibrators and to all those who are in a long-distance relationship. The couple set’s design allows us to feel and touch our partners the way we never could before. The best aspect about it is that we do not need even to be in the same room yet experience intense sexual pleasures controlled by our lover.

Manufacturers Description

The world’s most technologically advanced G-spot vibrator, designed to fulfill your most intimate needs.  Pearl2 is a technologically advanced G-spot vibrator enabled with touch-sensitive technology. It can be used for solo play, couples play from a distance or you can connect it to your favorite videos. Pearl2 is compatible with all existing and future Kiiroo devices, as well as with content sites and existing video, VR, 3D gaming and device partners of Kiiroo.

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Kiiroo System

Kiiroo is a system that allows users to connect Kiiroo and their partners sex toy of choice. Kiiroo Pearl2 is one such sex toy. This vibrator helps us to enjoy and experience the fun that is controlled by remote controlled action. You can also appreciate and relish this sex toy in sync with interactive porn. Kiiroo Pearl2 can stimulate the G-spot so is the one of the best choices to be used for vaginal play. Do not use it for anal play, due to the absence of a flared base. Kiiroo system is safe and secure. It grants access to *FeelPorna that allows the toy to operate in sync with adult movies. You can get an idea about its functionality and interactivity when coupled along with such erotica.

Teledildonics (also known as "cyberdildonics") is technology for remote sex where tactile sensations are communicated over a data link between the participants
Pearl 2 Sextoy Review

Specifications of Kiiroo Pearl2

Kiiroo Pearl2 is the latest model launched by Kiiroo and is an innovative vibrator when compared with their old design. Its design promises complete satisfaction and this is what makes it special and stand out among the crowd. It is unlike any other vibrator and has everything that a luxury vibrator can provide. It is aesthetically pleasing and is equipped with all the functions and controls that make it user-friendly. Instructions are provided or accessible online and the added bonus that it is waterproof  gives one peace of mind that we can use it whenever and wherever we want. It is USB rechargeable and comes with a warranty period of 1 year.

The appearance of Kiiroo Pearl2

Kiiroo Pearl2 is appealing and seductively coated with silicone that is soft in texture. This coating is present in most of the Pearl2 and that is what gives it such an alluring look. Silicone coating makes it soft, safe and secure and can be used without any concern. It is compact and non-porous and is free of phthalate. On its back, it is equipped with ABS section which aids in the control location that are easy and amazingly candid to operate. Pearl2 can be used as a solo sex toy, couples play or can be connected to other devices.

Vibrations of Kiiroo Pearl2

Vibrations of Kiiroo Pearl2 are strong and effective and will easily content and delight size queens. Vibrations are quite deep, rumbley and when it is inserted or applied to any part of the body the vibrations will satisfy with abandon. It can be inserted in the vagina for G-spot stimulation and can also be used externally for clitoral pleasure. In either of the cases, it does not disappoint and gives great realms of pleasure. It guarantees the ultimate sexual pleasures and sense of excitement leading to the ultimate climax.  Easy to use and with a head that has enough width to cover the clitoris and labia portions. This enables enjoyment with clitoral stimulation and amazingly delightful orgasms never experienced before.

It is wand-intense. It is equally effective when used with wands that are of mid-sized. It begins with gentle vibrations and this pace enables us to have a control over the speed. This mechanism prevents the inharmonious vibrations that are annoying and not so compelling at least for the new users. It is of perfect depth and that’s of great significance when keeping in account intensity of vibrations.

Design of Pearl2

Pearl 2 is designed keeping in mind the needs and necessities of its potential users. It has a compelling design which is what makes it popular and well recognized. Pearl2 is relatively large in size when compared with the original Pearl. Head is slightly more protuberant. It provides a perfect profound angle that helps in the G-spot stimulation. The angle that it provides facilitates perfect distribution of the pressure. It is coated with silicone and that is what makes it a substantial rigid dildo and we can use it by applying the pressure as per our needs and demands. We can use it with a liberal amount of lubricant alongside some warm up to reach the peak of pleasure and climax. It is easy to insert and it causes perfect thrusting that instills a sense of confidence coupled with excitement.

Product Specifications:

Materials: ABS, silicone

Finish: Matte chrome for ABS, matt finish for silicone

Size: 200 x 39 x 36.5 mm

Weight: 139 grams for device, 159g for device + USB cable

Battery: Lithium-ion 540 MAH 3.7V

Charging: 2 hours

User time: 1 hour

What you get in the box:

· Pearl2 device

· USB Charging cable

· Authenticity Card

· Quick Setup Manual

Kiiroo Pearl2 versus Other vibrators

Other luxury vibrators available on the market do not come with so many wonderful aspects, options and features that Kiiroo Pearl2 provides. Many do not provide connectivity to other users digitally and can cost up to twice the amount of the Pearl2 .  Kiiroo Pearl2 is the perfect luxury vibrator that presents value for money for those that want to experience a VR sexual experience.  Kiiroo Pearl2 is a *teledildonic luxury device and it simply means that it allows the connection to other Kiiroo users digitally. It has many notable extraordinary aspects and innovative features which make it popular. Its design is efficient, powerful and comes with a deep thrusting intense vibrator. It is intelligently shaped and its big head design coupled with intense vibrations can effectively be used to stimulate G-spot for vaginal play and can also be used for clitoral stimulation and excitement. Kiiroo Pearl2 is an excellent toy and is highly recommended to all the people who want to experience ultimate excitement and reach orgasm easily.

  • Feelporna is a proprietary interactive porn video that allow an immersive video experience that interact with an interactive sex-toy like Kiiroo Onyx and Pearl.
  • Teledildonics (also known as “cyberdildonics”) is technology for remote sex where tactile sensations are communicated over a data link between the participants.

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

The Future of The Escort Industry. SMOOCI?

Escort App

The Escort industry has seen some major changes over past the 3 months. The closure of the industry’s 2 biggest platforms (Backpage/Cracker and Craigslist’s Casual Encounters section), has sent shockwaves through the community and left a lot of clients, agencies, and escorts desperately trying to reconnect. This was swiftly followed up by the new SESTA-FOSTA act, an attempt by the U.S. congress to tackle unethical platforms, most notably giving more clarity to human trafficking laws and making online platforms more responsible and liable.

Using Smooci
Smooci Instructions

These changes are clearly a major positive for the long term, and should help to give the industry a somewhat more ethical standing, able to better tackle major issues of safety and protection with online services. But in the short term it has created a very nervy and uncertain atmosphere among the remaining directories and online escort communities, with many popular classified listings following the lead of Craigslist and opting to distance themselves from the escorting world.

The oldest (and most out-dated) profession in the world

Despite being one of the largest and longest standing global industries, the escort industry is one seriously lacking, technologically. You may be able to get a medical diagnosis via an app on your phone, or order a pair of shoes online and have them delivered by drone an hour later, but escorts and clients still heavily depend upon age-old means of connection (walking the streets, flyers in phone boxes, newspaper classifieds). Even in the online world escort directories spend huge amounts on SEO and digital marketing, trying to get those top Google rankings, but very little seems to be invested in bringing better and safer tools, with little attempt to improve the user experience, or make for safer and more reliable platform.

Many escorts are now turning to alternative apps and sites, trying to force modernization on the industry. Tinder is one of the leading apps in the dating industry, and in many major cities it’s becoming the app of choice for escorts. The fact these escorts are willing to spend so much time and effort trying to connect with client on dating apps (in the face of likely abuse, timewasting, and the constant risk of being banned), just to have access to a more user-friendly platform, further highlights the need for a modern, paid-for-dating platform.

Smooci Tracker
Smooci Locator

The Future of Escort Booking

A change is desperately needed and in Southeast Asia Smooci claims to have the answer. Billing themselves as ‘The Future of Escort booking’, www.smooci.com offers the world’s first fully live Escort booking site, delivering verified reviews and comments to the clients, and GPS tracking on escort arrivals. Clients visit the site, click search, and after a few quick selections they are given a list of escorts ready to instantly book. Most details are verified, with fully verified comments and ratings offering a new level of trust and openness, supported by easy to use filters. Bookings are also confirmed with a few simple clicks and verified through SMS one-time-passwords, creating a smooth and simple experience. The Uber style GPS tracking on the escort’s journey to meet the client is also a popular bonus feature.

For the escort’s Smooci brings modern and hassle-free tools. The escorts work via an app, allowing them to easily create and manage their profile, and simply click online to show their live availability. Booking requests arrive direct to the app, giving the escorts a 10 minute window to review the details and accept or decline the booking. Further tools then help them manage their upcoming bookings, even giving suggested travel routes and times to get to their appointments, and reminders to keep them on schedule. And once the booking is over they get to rate the client and their experience.

The next generation escort directory

Smooci’s system aims to create a level playing field and a fairer, safer, and more ethical arena for clients and escorts to connect. Clients are ultimately given a more informed choice, with trustworthy information, allowing them to book with confidence and ease. Escorts are given the tools to work more efficiently and professionally, with no need for reposting and bumping their ads (the app even works in several countries across Southeast Asia allowing them to work on the go). Bookings are clear and verified cutting out timewasters, long chats, and negotiations, and additional client info (and the fact all bookings are tracked), gives them further peace of mind.

Smooci monetize by way extra features on their site (such as the use of GPS tracking and the ability to set notification for when offline escorts next become available). Pricing is similar to that of most dating sites, with short cheap options such as a 3 day memberships, with all payments non-recurring, so no surprise auto billing. Both escorts and clients have the option to use Smooci for free, and Smooci doesn’t take any cut or fee from the bookings, so ultimately they are left motivated to create the best possibly platform rather than generating as many bookings as possible.

With plans to reach far beyond Asia, targeting summer launches throughout Europe, Smooci are aiming to take their platform global. They also have plans to bring in further safety features, with follow up alerts and calls to make sure escorts are marked as ‘safe’ after a completed booking, and direct contact with local health and advice specialists within the escort’s app. While Smooci may not be able to solve, or even tackle, all of the industry’s problems, it’s certainly helping push it in the right direction, bringing moderns tools and tech to the older profession in the world.

Rick is the owner of the Adultsmart, an online sex toy shop that stocks over 13,000 products. He has been involved in the adult lifestyle industry for more than 25 years. Rick is an active sex blogger who provides a wealth of information and experience. He is an advocate of equality for gender and sexuality.

VIP Interview Kate Sloan – Renowned Blogger GirlyJuice!

Kate Sloan is a successful writer, podcaster, journalist and speaker in the adult industry. In 2012 she started her own sex-positive blog, building a large readership interested in adult lifestyle and education content.  Making no secret of living with bipolar II and social anxiety disorders, she is more than qualified to write on topics on the challenges and triumphs of relationships and sex. Her blog is top-ranking in many sex blogging lists, including #4 on Kinkly.com and #3 on Molly’s Daily Kiss, and she has a multitude of accolades bestowed upon her by reputed and respected media, organizations and individuals.

Girly Juice
Kate Sloan

Hi Kate, a warm welcome to the Adultsmart community lifestyle blog. I appreciate you taking the time to partake in this interview as I know that it is valuable and limited. Let’s start at the beginning! How does a self-described ‘nerd’ end up starting a sex toy review blog of her own?

Hi, thanks for having me! When I graduated from high school at age 18, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life yet, so I took a year off of school to consider my options. During that time, I applied for a job at a local sex shop – and, while I didn’t get the job, during the application process I did some research online to make sure my sex toy knowledge was up-to-date. I discovered sex toy review blogs like Hey Epiphora and Dangerous Lilly, and knew immediately – being a lifelong sex nerd and a born writer – that this was something I could do, too!

READ THE ADULTSMART INTERVIEW WITH DANGEROUS LILLY

With the encouragement of my boyfriend at the time, I started Girly Juice. That was more than six years ago now and it’s still going strong! Additionally, those first few months of sex blogging emboldened me to apply to journalism schools; I got into all the ones I applied to and ended up getting my bachelor’s degree at the illustrious Ryerson School of Journalism here in Toronto. So, in a way, I owe my entire career to that one impulsive decision I made when I was 18.

That’s pretty daring for an 18-year-old Toronto-based bisexual woman. Since then your blog has evolved into lifestyle writing. Was it difficult to make that transition and expose much more about you and your personal self?

At first, yes, it was really scary! For years, I just called myself “Girly Juice” online, and never showed my face or any other identifying features. I was terrified that linking my real-life identity with my sex-blogger alter-ego would jeopardize my future employment options. After all, what conservative public relations firm or well-to-do magazine would want to hire a girl who’d spent years detailing her sexcapades for thousands of readers?!

But the deeper I waded into the sex-writer life, the more I realized it was my life. Writing about sex is what I do best and I think it is what I was put here to do. So I decided to “come out” as my real self – name, face, and all – and start writing fewer sex toy reviews and more deep-dives into personal topics like my relationships, my journey into kink, and my sexual and romantic philosophies. I acknowledge that not every sex writer is willing or able to be so public about who they are, but I’m much happier now that I’ve pulled back the curtain.

What were the obstacles that you faced starting off your blog?

When I started Girly Juice, I was in a long-term, vanilla, monogamous relationship. I was very much in love, and hadn’t yet figured out that I’m kinky and non-monogamous, so those qualities of my relationship didn’t bother me – but they did make me feel like maybe my contributions to the discourse about sexuality would be pretty limited in scope. I’d only had sex with two people in my entire life; what could I possibly have to say about sex that hadn’t already been said?

What I learned is that your experiences might be common but your perspective and your voice are not. You don’t have to have a wild, off-the-wall sex life to write about sex in a way that is thoughtful and compelling. I will add, however, that I do think my writing has gotten deeper and more interesting as I’ve amassed more sexual experience, had my heart broken a few times, and discovered my kinks.

In life there are always highs and lows.  With your blog,

  1. What most do you regret?
  2. What is the highlight?

 

I regret all the time I spent trying to mimic other sex writers’ style. Artists of all sorts often learn through imitation, and I’m sure this process was ultimately helpful for me, but I cringe when I look back at it sometimes! I admire lots of other sex writers whose work is flowery and erotic, or snarky and biting, or precise and academic, but none of those styles are exactly “me.” One of my favorite writers, Alexandra Franzen, says you don’t “find your voice” as a writer, you create it – and I wish I had created mine a little sooner!

The highlight of doing this work, so far, has definitely been the reactions I’ve gotten from readers. So many people have written to me to say that my work helped them figure out some aspect of their sexual identity – their kinks, their relationship style, even their genitals’ preferences – and it fills my heart with sparkly joy every time I hear this. I’ve always essentially endeavored to write the type of blog I wish 15-year-old me had had access to, so she could’ve learned about sex and kink and dating in a way that felt fun instead of scary, and when people tell me my blog has changed their sex life, I feel like I’ve achieved that goal.

If you could do anything differently when starting out, what would that be?

Aside from embracing my authentic style and voice earlier, I wish I had been more willing to branch out in subject matter sooner. I thought my readers were only interested in sex toy reviews and erotica, so I shied away from doing the quirkier or more expansive stuff I really wanted to do: writing about the awkward side of sex, for example, or anxiety and insecurity, or gender inequality as it pertains to sex.

Once you’ve developed a readership, I think you can and should trust that your readers are interested in your perspective, not just in the topics you tend to write about. Your true fans will follow you where you’re going, so you may as well go where your gut pulls you.

How would you best describe the way you review sex toys?

For years, I wrote sex toy reviews that were fairly technical and dry: I outlined toys’ key features, listed their dimensions, and maybe included a paragraph or two about how they actually felt. After a while, though, I realized that this wasn’t the type of review I most liked to read, so maybe I should take a different approach in my review-writing.

Nowadays, when I write toy reviews, I focus almost exclusively on my experience of the toy. Technical specs are easy to find on any product page – but what’s harder to sleuth out on Google is how real people actually felt when they used a particular toy. So that’s what I highlight in my reviews. For example, my recent review of the Neon Wand is mostly about the kinky headspace that it and other pain-inducing toys help me access – and I recently collaborated with my boyfriend on a post about cocktail pairings for sex toys, which moreso emphasizes the way the toys make me feel than the bland details you’ll find listed on their packaging.

Blogging is one thing – and pretty time-consuming.  But you did not stop there!  You guest and host radio shows, podcasts, workshops and writing for other media as a journalist/essayist.  How do you fit it all in?

Luckily for me, I work from home, so I basically get to arrange my schedule however I like. I get up at 8AM every weekday and do some work for my part-time dayjob at an adult-industry marketing firm. Sometime in the mid-morning, I usually head out to a local café to finish up more of that work, draft a blog post, write an article for a copywriting client, and/or edit a podcast episode. Caffeine certainly helps keep me on track and is a vital part of my creative process!

My brain tends to move a little slower in the afternoon, so that’s when I’ll typically switch to less creative and more methodical tasks, like answering emails from advertisers, taking photos for posts, or scheduling tweets.

I rarely relax on weekends, which is one not-so-glamorous explanation for how I stay so productive. If I don’t have social plans on a weekend evening, you’ll usually find me holed up in my bedroom with a beer and my laptop, pouring out my feelings into a blog post draft or sending out pitches for wacky essays I want to write.

What of the many hats you wear do you most enjoy and why?

My best friend Bex and I started our podcast, The Dildorks, almost two years ago, and it remains one of my favorite projects to work on. I get to giggle with my best friend over Skype every week, and then I get to edit our conversation into a hopefully-helpful, hour-long piece of programming. Our fans are so sweet, especially those who travel to events to see us do live shows. Plus our theme song is catchy as hell! (You can find The Dildorks on iTunes or whatever other podcast platform you use, FYI!)

Do you get a buzz out of teaching workshops?  What do you hope attendees will gain from them?

Teaching is so exciting! As someone who does most of my educational work via writing, it’s always a delightful challenge to step out from behind the laptop and impart information in a real-world setting.

My favorite workshop to teach is one I developed last year called Vagic Tricks: Hidden Hotspots of the Vulva and Vagina. It focuses on little-known vulvovaginal erogenous zones, including the A-spot (anterior fornix), external G-spot, clitoral shaft, and more. I love teaching this one because many people have genuinely never heard of these spots, so I feel like I am shifting their sex lives in big ways. The first time I taught this class, the crowd was mostly cisgender men, presumably attending so they could learn how to please their partner(s) better, and it made me so happy to potentially be teaching them something useful that they hadn’t heard before.

On a personal note, it took me many years of experimentation to figure out how to get myself off most efficiently, because these little-known spots are of great importance in my particular genital configuration. So it thrills me to think that someone might learn about the A-spot or indirect clitoral stimulation from my writing or teaching, and thereby be able to learn the easy way what I had to learn the hard way.

Sex Education
Overcoming Sexual Anxiety

Running a blog is a time-consuming exercise.  How do you find the time to fit everything in?

One of the best blogging tips I ever learned was from the ladies at the Blogcademy, who recommend “batch-processing” tasks. This means that you group similar tasks together: write a few blog posts at once, or take the photos for your entire week of blog content all in one afternoon, or spend a couple hours answering all your emails instead of just replying to them as they come in. It’s a simple tip, but it helps me a lot, because switching tasks takes up time and mental energy.

My other secret weapon is the Editorial Calendar plug-in for WordPress, which gives you an at-a-glance overview of which blog posts you’ve got scheduled for the next few weeks. I publish 2-3 blog posts a week, so I have to stay on top of what’s coming next, and this plug-in makes it easy. I can drag-and-drop my posts around as needed, plan my editorial lineup weeks or months ahead, and make sure any time-sensitive posts are scheduled for when they need to go live. It’s brilliant!

Have you any advice for somebody wanting to start their own adult blog?

Before you start, make a list of at least 50 different ideas for blog posts. If you can’t come up with that many, this might not be a sustainable endeavor for you. (I’m 700+ posts in and still have new ideas constantly, but I’m a huge nerd about this stuff.)

Make sure you really, really like your blog name before you decide on it officially. (I’ve come around to liking, or at least accepting, Girly Juice, but there have definitely been times when I’ve regretted choosing it!) Oh, and check to make sure the social media handle you want is available on every platform you’ll be using.

Talk to a lot of people about sex. Friends, family, partners, your Twitter followers, whoever is willing to chat with you about sexual issues. Make friends with other sex bloggers and talk to them, too. You’ll learn a lot and come up with lots of ideas from these conversations, even (and perhaps especially) when you and the other person have wildly different perspectives on the topic at hand.

Trust that your view on sexuality is important and valuable. You don’t need to copy other people’s opinions or approaches; the things you have to say are valid all on their own. That said, stay informed: read other sex blogs, read the news, read critical theory and legendary writers in the field. They’ll bolster you when you agree with them and inspire you when you disagree with them.

Pay attention to what people ask you all the time, and what people search for on your site (a tool like Google Analytics or Statcounter can show you this data). These queries can guide your writing, by showing you what interests people most and which topics you haven’t yet addressed in enough detail.

Chase after what authentically fascinates you, even if it’s kind of weird. Some of my most popular posts of all time, for example, are about blowjob-friendly lipsticks, the external G-spot, and keeping a sex spreadsheet – all somewhat bizarre topics I had never or rarely seen addressed anywhere else, and wanted to write about because I found them interesting. Your weirdness is what sets you apart, so follow it wherever it takes you!

What do you feel is your greatest achievement?

While steadily writing a sex blog for over six years is no small thing, I always feel overcome with pride when I get a chance to write for other publications I respect. For example, I’ve dreamed of writing for Cosmopolitan since I was a wee little sex nerd, so I was thrilled this year when I got to write an essay for them about blowjobs, mindfulness, and pleasure. The prestigious Canadian magazine The Walrus also asked me to contribute an essay about “the future of sex” this year, so I got to wax poetic about how the eventual ubiquity of sex robots will transform our sexual culture. Interesting stuff!

How do you want your many followers to view/see you?

I hope they think of me like a cool, knowledgeable older sister whispering sex secrets into their ear in a way that feels fun and accessible. We all need a sister like that, methinks.

I also hope they come away from my writing feeling uplifted and invigorated. There’s a lot of awful stuff happening in the world right now (and always), and indeed a lot of aspects of sex itself can be discouraging or even traumatizing, so I try to provide a more lighthearted perspective on sexuality. If you leave my blog feeling reminded that sex is, at its best, goofy, fun, and connective, then I’ve done my job, as far as I’m concerned.

What will you be doing in 10 years’ time?

It’s my hope that I’ll have written and published a book or two by then, and that I’ll have expanded my sex-positive “media empire” even more. Think Dan Savage, only less problematic…!

On a more global scale, I hope we’ll have taken even more steps toward eliminating sexual shame and stigma by then. Writing about sex toys, blowjobs, and spanking can shift things in small ways for individual people, and I hope that my work contributes to the large-scale attitudinal shifts we need as a society on the topics of sex, gender, and relationships.

Rick is the owner of the Adultsmart, an online sex toy shop that stocks over 13,000 products. He has been involved in the adult lifestyle industry for more than 25 years. Rick is an active sex blogger who provides a wealth of information and experience. He is an advocate of equality for gender and sexuality.

Inner Personal Thoughts Of A Sexologist

Studying sexology

What the hell made you want to become a sexologist?! I get asked this regularly and it’s a very difficult question to answer simply. As a young women with hopes and dreams for my future, I could never have imagined that I would choose this path. It has been an interesting and fulfilling journey so far, with numerous factors leading to my choice to become somewhat of a “sexpert”.

A sexologist and sexpert
Image: Sexpert

In my former life before becoming a sexologist, I worked as a mental health nurse. Despite sounding vastly different, there are skills I learnt in this job that I will carry with me in my career as a sexologist, in fact skills that are transferable in every area of my life! I entered the mental health field as a new graduate with big desires to help others. People fascinate me and to offer my compassion and kindness to others in times of need felt like the right thing to do. Being a mental health nurse exposed me to an often isolated and somewhat condemned part of humanity, working with so many people who were in the midst of deep crisis. People who were so distressed they felt killing themselves was the only acceptable option. People who were so detached from their bodies and “reality” that they could not function in our world. People from all walks of life, at the extreme ends of a spectrum that we all fall on in one way or another.

Sexologist who talks about sexual problems
Image: Sexologist’s client

Initially, I felt privileged to be in a position where I could be a healing part of these people’s lives. I knew that so many others could not “handle” being around people in acute states of mental crisis so a part of me (ego probably) was proud of myself for stepping into this work. I would hear it all the time that it takes a certain kind of person to work in the mental health field and after experiencing it I know this to be absolutely true. Working in an environment with people in acute stages of mental illness causes you to be in hypervigilant state as a safety precaution. You are constantly watching over your back, on high alert in order to keep clients, staff and yourself safe from harm. This is not something that can be switched off just by walking out the door at the end of the day. We have this idea to “leave it at work” and forget about it when we go home however work is our life is it not? I found an attempt to separate the two led to more harm than good and realised that I wasn’t living authentically or in integrity working in this job.

My dreams for something different kept getting louder and louder. I realised that caring for others should not come at the expense of our own wellbeing or be driven by desires to help others for a sense of external validation. I believe to truly be in service in this world is to do the things that make us feel alive, following our desires towards what lights us up and gets us excited. For me, that had always been sex. Human sexuality has always fascinated me in so many ways. I have always been curious to understand why sex is such a massive part of our lives and not just used purely for procreation. Why are people sexually attracted to one person over another? Why is there an increase in people buying BDSM, kinks and fetish products? How can we be having more fulfilling sex in our lives? And why is there such shame and stigma around something so pleasurable and beautiful? These questions and a host more constantly had me intrigued so working in a field where I could explore sexuality was completely aligned with my passion and values.

Sexologist fixing sexual relationships
Image: Sexologist couples therapy

As well as my passion for learning about sex, I had found myself to be someone who people felt comfortable talking about their intimate lives with. I recall a moment years ago where a woman I knew shared with me a deeply personal story about her sex life with her husband, something she had never shared with anyone else before. Feeling the trust she felt in me to open up this way, I knew that I had something special to offer others. It warms my heart and makes me feel so grateful to be alive when I can create a space for people to feel confident and comfortable with their sexuality. I feel excited and full of joy knowing that the connection I have with my sexuality invites others to feel beautifully connected to their own. It truly is a gift knowing that I can play a part in creating a much needed sex-positive shift in our society, no matter how big or small that part may be. Sexual health has been a far too neglected area of our lives so to do this work is so important. I am new on my career path but hope that the topics I post about and the people who welcome my support in sessions benefit from what I have to offer. It feels like the beginning of an extremely fulfilling and enlivening career path, stay tuned for what’s to come…

Author: Stephanie Curtis, Sexologist

Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph’s writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.