When It’s DONE!

So you have tried everything you can do to reignite that spark in your relationship.  Individual counselling, couples therapy and everything between but it is done.  Although one or both of you may still love each other you cannot live with each other.  Now is the time to act before cohabitation sours the perspective and you grow to hate the sight of your now ex.

When there are kids involved, property, businesses this may seem difficult – especially as for most the family home is the most valuable asset that you both own.  If you have kids here is the time to suck it up sweetheart and do what is best for the kids.

First and foremost do not argue or discuss controversial matters in front of the kids.  If you seem like you are heading for an argument one or both of you have the will-power to walk away and raise the issue at a later time when it is just the two of you.  Just because the two of you no longer want to live with each other it does not mean that you should impact or effect others negatively – especially your treasured children that will love you both and do not want to pick sides.  They will probably hurt more than you in the separation and it will not take much for them to blame themselves for the break-up.

Affirm to them that they are not the problem and each of you love them equally.

So who moves out?  Decades ago it was generally the man whilst the woman was left to be the primary caregiver for the children.  Maintenance would be paid by the father who would get visitation rights and some portions of school holidays.

These days men want to be more a part of their children’s up-bringing, development and more and more co-parenting arrangements are made on a 50/50 basis.  Statistically – as long as there is no abuse or history of it – these children will grow up to be more grounded without feeling torn between their loyalty to either parent.

So what do you do when you are in this situation?  It is not for everybody and can only be done if both parents agree and there is no active animosity openly display.  It is the concept of

bird nest custody

In bird’s nest custody the aim is to minimize the disruption in the effected children’s lives and is where the parents share equally the family home until it is sold or other arrangements are made.   The ‘birds nest’ has to be accommodation that is close to the home and only if the custody agreement in this interim stage is agreed to be joint or pretty close to that.

This arrangement stops children being traumatized by leaving their home to ‘visit’ a parent and will also allow the children to grow accustomed to each parent living separate lives.

The accommodation either can be 2 cheap studio apartments local or a 2 bedroom apartment where each parent has their bedroom on the week it is not their turn to live in the home.  This makes it more economically viable than the expense of renting and decking out a whole new home and having two full household expenses.

Most people are not thrilled to live in two different places so this is an interim set-up until the family home is sold or otherwise disposed of and other arrangements are set.   If either party wish to start dating it may be difficult for a ‘birds nest’ arrangement to stay in place.  For it to work both parents have to be committed and be able to co-operate well.

Once you have agreed that this is the best solution for the children you must set the schedule of week on and week off.  The changeover should be whilst the kids are at school so there is no impact or distress.  Bills should be shared equally unless one requires extra amenities for example premium cable, gym hire or other things the other person will not use.  Agreements on housekeeping – what day the house (and birds nest) will be cleaned – what individual duties like cleaning the veranda, windows, shopping etc are allocated.  Perhaps sharing the expense  hiring a cleaner once a week the day before changeover is the most convenient and stress free option.

This is an interim arrangement so the house should be sold and division of proceeds of that sale agreed upon.  Whilst working through this other divisions such as business, car, super etc can also be discussed and finalized by an attorney.

The apartment also should be discussed.  Will both parties be okay sharing towels, dishes – the more detail the less chance there is that there will be an issue later down the track.

Most importantly both have to sit down and devise a parenting plan/agreement.  This also will be an interim document that can then be made into orders at you Family Court.  The parenting plan should detail –

Regular Visitation and Custody Schedule

Holiday and Vacation Schedule

Special Circumstance – especially important when one of the children has a health condition

Outline Who The Children Are Allowed To Stay With – taking into consideration first right of refusal

Changeover Guidelines – with nesting arrangement it is best during school but must take into consideration school holidays and special circumstances

Activities – Both what are acceptable activities and which parent will take them

Special Events – In a co-parenting agreement it would be assumed that both parents have the best interests of the children so both may attend

Communication – Times to call the parent whilst nesting.  Also for one parent to inform the other about punishments or rewards.

Pick Up and Drop Offs – coordinating a schedule that both can follow on their week ons (and to assist in week offs)

Expenses – Such as clothing, sporting etc that are required for the children and how they will be shared

Lifestyle Choices – To include communication between parents for important decisions that will be made for the positive development of the children

House Rules – Agree on rules for the children.  Curfews, supervision, consequences that both parents will adhere to

Putting all this down in writing and when agreed sign it.  This can then be filed with the court and made into orders.  The more information in the parenting plan the easier it will be to avoid future issues.  Provision must be made for amendments to the plan, especially as circumstances will change.

It is a big decision and not a walk in the park but if the parents can work together fairly ‘bird nesting’ arrangements certainly are the best for the children.

A follow up from When Things Go Bad article….

Singing In The Rain (1952) – Dr. Satish Movie Review

Have you ever become transcendental when the sky becomes dark and it is about to rain? Does your heart gets elated imagining yourself getting drenched in the torrential down pour and throw your  raincoat to the winds? And then croon a beautiful song while getting wet from head to toe and dance in the muddy puddle splashing the water all over,  careless of the world around you? If so you have fallen in love, just like Gene Kelly when he sings “Singing In The Rain” .
His solo dance  right after he as Don Lockwood  and young Kathy Selden ( Debbie Reynolds) realize they’re falling in love. That explains the dance: He doesn’t mind getting wet, because he’s smitten with romance. He dances with the umbrella, swings from a lamppost, has one foot on the curb and the other in the gutter, and in the scene’s high point, simply jumps up and down in a rain puddle. And when the policeman is in the sight… he does a wonderful acrobatic which only a Gene Kelly class can do.  Yes It is a title song of the film. It is as fresh as a dew on the rose petal and classic musical in the league of Sound Of Music, My Fair Lady, Mary Poppins, An American In Paris and many others.   But “Singin’ in the Rain” is a transcendent experience, and no one who loves movies can afford to miss it.

The three stars–Gene Kelly, Donald O’Connorand 19-year-old Debbie Reynolds- make the movie most memorable by their sheer footwork. The movie is  about the film industry in a period of risky transition. From silent to talkies. It  shoecases the changeover in a simplified manner at the same time keeping the authenticity in tact. Like   how the microphones were hidden in the flowerpots, how the cameras were kept in soundproof rooms,  The movie simplifies the changeover from silents to talkies, but doesn’t falsify it. And, yes, preview audiences did laugh when they first heard the voices of some of the actors.
When the film was made in 1952. Gene Kelly and O’Connor were established stars, and were past masters in the footing section.  Watch O’Connor’s “Make ’em Laugh” number in this film. It remains one of the most amazing dance sequences ever filmed in Hollywood.  A majority part in longer takes and oh  no dummy and no  body double and no computer animation .  He grapples with a mannequin, runs up  the walls. His somersaults? Matchless. He flings  himself  in the air  like a rag doll, dashes  into a brick wall and a lumber plank, turns cartwheels on the floor and smashes  into  a drapery.
Debbie Reynolds was comparatively  a newcomer, with five small roles previously, and this was her big break. She had  to match the professionals like Kelly and O’ Connor. Well what she did? Watch her determination. This petite girl  takes giant strides when they all march toward a couch in the “Good Morning” and finishes as if she werea  guru to these two men.
Now let us talk about most interesting character in the film. Lina Lamont (Jean Hagen), the blond bolt from the blue with the voice like, have you ever   scratched  your fingernails on a wooden plank? How is the sound? Yes she has the same. She plays a comic dumbo.   A blond, who  reads  in the fan magazine that she is in love with her leading man, Don Lockwood (Kelly), and believes it.  When questioned about it and explained that it is all false, she blurts out,   “What do they think I am? Dumb or something? Why, I make more money than Calvin Coolidge put together!”  She steals the scene.  The real Hagen had a perfectly acceptable and sweet  voice. But this role helped her win an Oscar nomination for best supporting actress.
The climax is wonderful. Lina had borrowed her voice from Kathy but when audience cheers Lina to sing on stage, everyone is in dilemma.  Kathy is requested to sing behind the curtain  while Lina mouths the words. Lockwood and studio boss, after some minutes raise  the curtain and when  the audience sees the trick, all hell breaks loose.  Lina’s face is drained of color,  Kathy takes  flight down the aisle—to save herself from the embarrassment but then, Lockwood, onstage, cries out, “Ladies and gentlemen, stop that girl! That girl running up the aisle! That’s the girl whose voice you heard and loved tonight! She’s the real star of the picture–Kathy Selden!”  It makes one of the great romantic moments in the movies.
The magic of “Singin’ in the Rain” will live on forever.
Dr. Satish

What Exactly are Hook Up Apps?

The internet has influenced all facets of our lives like; shopping, travel booking, online video streaming and so forth. It has established communication channels between people across the world. Now, hook up apps are available to people of all genders, and nationalities.
However, the impact of Adult Dating Sites development on romance and dating was an unexpected one. The outcome of sites meant for flaring love affairs and relationships was hugely successful. This is because they are an excellent medium for the lone and interested singles to get companions as per their desired interests. Thus, there’s no more need to bother someone in the family or friends circle to find a compatible dating partner. Here’s a take on how dating apps are revolutionizing the way people engage in relationships.
Let us understand how an Adult Dating Sites site functions.
Step 1: An individual can create a profile on a site by submitting basic details about himself/herself. Although creating a profile might be free of charge on most websites, some may charge a nominal fee for this service. Some sites need the person to provide detailed information so that they can match the personalities of the individuals.
Step 2: The site sends details of individuals who suit his/ her preference.
Step 3: The individual can select a suitable date from the list of profiles sent.
Step 4: Sites even aid setting up a meeting with the date.
After creating a dating profile, these apps have the following conditions or features-set to help you find your dream date.

Algorithms to find a match

This is after a user finds someone they are sharing with the same interests, location, profession, hobbies, life goals, and other things, the app must be able to make suggestions.
 Providing partner suggestions based only on the preferences of users results in lesser profiles display, but the quality is always better than quantity.
It’s a match!” is the new popular word for singles. Truly, with dating apps, many are getting potential mates whom they share with common interests.
Apparently, this is an era where knowing someone through a digital medium is not a problem.

 Filters

Preferences filters is another critical feature that is enabling dating apps to suggest suitable matches. Filters dependent on location, age, height, life interests, hobbies, family type, and others when used, will give the users a chance to pick their preferred partners.

Trust scores

Numerous users shun away from interacting with anonymous users who conceal their identities behind the application. In this way, a dating application comes with a background verification feature for assuring users real connections. Linking is a very coherent feature; it relates social media accounts of the clients with their dating profiles. Some applications even give a trust score to every user profile, according to their social media activities so users having more trust scores can initiate conversations online or can get matches.

Multimedia Files sharing

Dating implies interactive conversations between two individuals. In order to do this through a virtual medium, options for sharing different files like songs, emoji’s, voice records, video records or stickers will do good. This feature when included in a dating app, makes interactions between two more enjoyable and help them know each other better.
People prefer these Adult Dating Sites because of the following advantages;

They offer a reliable way to find partners

In this work-intensive and busy lifestyle, Adult Dating Sites give convenience to the individuals who are lacking the time and scope to meet up new people and know them. They can eventually scroll through a wide array of options in the site, choose one among them to connect, chat online and plan for meetups sometime later. Thus, helping individuals in this fast-paced generation to deliberately prepare for dating just with few clicks instead of depending on any coincidences or traditional meetings.

They give the scope to choose a partner with specific criteria

Online dating through apps is notably convenient for finding partners as they provide unprecedented access to the potential matches regardless of any geographic limit. Individuals are capable of searching partners with interest areas that match theirs and weed out those who are not potential partners. By enabling the search for partners according to age, location and personal details including orientation, hobbies, and interests, dating apps gained a stand in the market as automated matchmakers.

The idea of dating became more flexible with Adult Dating Sites

One remarkable advantage of a dating site is that they allowed the interested individuals to delve into an initial conversation with a potential match and gather some sense of compatibility before getting into actual face-to-face dating. Thus, both partners get ample scope through the app to evaluate each other’s interests and see how their bond matures with every passing day. This brought far more flexibility than traditional dating as both partners can eventually stop connecting if they foresee non-compatibility issues between them in initial interactions and start looking for other potential matches.

 Apps are offering fun-filled online dating experiences

With mobile apps for dating, people got countless distinct ways to single individuals to impress their potential partners. With lots of in-app features, they make online dating an exciting and fun-filled experience for the youngsters such as sending of audio/video attachments, funny stickers, games for compatibility check, gift cards, voice recordings, and so forth.
 Though these apps are great for dating, as a tip to be successful with these apps you should use the ones that best suit you. For instance, in the event that you are a senior, go for senior dating applications. Along these lines, you will effectively find a partner for dating who matches your likes and other things, other than when you just use any universal app.
adult dating
With these apps, singles are finding a perfect mate, becoming more acquainted with them and making arrangements for real dates to know each other better. in addition, they are really safe, particularly for women since they check and confirm the profiles of users before giving them a chance to connect with any matches. Basically, dating applications are the current way to help singles find their perfect companions.

Technology And Sex: SexTech!

Many people think that the consumption of pornography and the use of sex toys are the dregs of humanity and the most vulgar of pleasures. It’s dirty, its filthy, it should be behind closed doors, and it should never be spoken about. I hate to break it to you, but, the world owes pornography, and indeed the adult Industry, a lot. When it comes to advancements of technology, you’ll often find that the porn and adult industry are at the forefront of technology. E-Commerce websites, Online Streaming (1994), webcams (1995), a demand for Increased Bandwidth and internet speed and even the VCR are just a few examples of what the world owes the pornography industry. With an increase in accessibility combined with the breaking down of social taboos and the normalisation of sex and pleasure it’s little wonder that Pornhub chews through 147 gigabytes a second every single day. But why is the sex industry of the forefront of technology when we still struggle to embrace sex without having to hide it, and what are the benefits of sex tech?

SexTech is an increasingly common word being used to describe the rise of technology within sex toys. At it’s core SexTech refers to the idea and philosophy that tech is being used to enhance and innovate areas of human sexuality, and the sexual experience. Think contraception apps, we-vibe connectivity apps, Elvie Vaginal ‘fit bits’, sex robots, vibrators and even Artificial Intelligence designed to simulate/replace/replicate intimacy. But it does go further, those are some of the more obvious and more visible things when it comes to technology and sex. Some of the things that we don’t consider are media reports on sexual assault, the #metoo movement, the Gender Equality Movement,  – all of which are being bolstered by technologies from reporting tools and anonymous style apps, to the prolific use of social media, to their visibility on media platforms every single day of the week. In this regard, SexTech is a term that is starting to see more use with each passing day and becoming increasingly important as we acknowledge and interact with it. At the end of the day we simply cannot escape the idea that sex and sexuality (and/or the lack thereof) is at the heart of everything that we do as people. It’s defaulted into us from a young age and for the majority of individuals it becomes an inseparable and unique part of our personality and our identity. It has the power to structure our relationships, lives, personal identity, and even our own happiness.
So why the big deal about tech?  Interconnectedness and cosmopolitanism are becoming increasingly prevalent – the power of the smartphone in your pocket today exceeds the computing power that put humanity on the moon. Technology is becoming increasingly inseparable to our day to day lives, we use it to make our lives easier, so why wouldn’t we be using it for sex and pleasure? Technology is becoming a significant part of sex and the sex industry, and as we continue to break down the barriers and hidden nature of sex, it’s only going to become more viable, more prevalent and increasingly interconnected. Sex tech and the breaking down of the taboo nature of sex and pleasure work in conjunction with each other. The more we talk about sex, the more technology will jump on the bandwagon. The more technology jumps on the bandwagon, the more we will talk about sex. This cycle will eventually see the continued and increased normalisation of ideologies surrounding sex and pleasure, the likes of which have never been seen before.
Indeed, the newest realms of sextechs is seeing the prominence of groups previously seen as invisible – with events, technology, gear and toys now being created for people with disabilities, the ageing population, trans people and everyone(1) in between. Previously, such toys and gear were made for the general population because of the business viability. It made sense in terms of business profitability to market toys to a broad spectrum of people in order to increase your market share. Sex was not open, pleasure was not discussed. Now, within an increasingly e-commerce market, the ability to ship products across the globe, the increasing percentage of people with internet access (55% in 2018), and our willingness to embrace pleasure and gear, it now makes sense to create products for the purpose of equitable access to pleasure vs profit margins and market shares.
Such groups, previously ignore or dismissed, are now seeing an increased access to technology allowing them to offer their own insights and to help with the development of products and services that best suit their needs and desires. It’s not all happiness and roses though. Recently there was great concern at the actions of the Consumer Electronics Show which initially awarded a group of women an honouree title in the Robotics and Drone category for their Ose ‘Personal Massager’. Its use of micro-robotics to aid in providing blended orgasms was seen as innovative and inclusive. That is, until the Consumer Technology Association (CTA which owns, and produces the CES event) stepped in to strip them of their award on the basis that the entry was deemed to be disqualified because it did not meet their rules Standards. CTA referred to a rule which stipulated that entries seen to be ‘immoral, obscene, indecent, profane, or not keeping with” the organisations image will be disqualified. I’m not going to go too into depth on the issues here, largely that this statement implies that women’s sexual wellness products are deemed to be indecent, but it does show that the tech industry still has some work to do when it comes to mixing technology with sex. There’s hope though.
Body Hacks
Japanese Robotics companies are spearheading the use of sex robots and Pleasure AI to advance technologies in robotics research, computer sciences and Artificial Intelligence mechanics and systems. Phones are increasingly becoming connected to our sex toys and the idea of pleasure. The more we embrace SexTech, the more powerful and cost effective it will become.

Mainstream and Dating Apps Facts Every Adult Must Know

Technology has now made it possible to do almost everything online –do business transactions like meetings and conferences, teach, learn, make, submit or present a report, buy and sell, and even find love. Who would have thought that even love can be found in the virtual world? Thanks to dating apps and websites!  People seeking for a partner visit these apps and sites with high hopes of finding he one’. Broken-hearted individuals, on the other hand, turn to these apps and sites as a way of moving on. Who knows, they might give love a second chance if lucky enough to find someone who’s willing to stay with them for a long time – if not forever.

All About Mainstream Dating

These days, looking for Mr. or Ms Right is just a click away! Unlike the olden days where courtship for months and years is a must, quite a few people of today’s generation get married only a few months after meeting online. There is really nothing wrong with that as long as the couples stay true to themselves and keep the love alive after meeting in person. According to statistics, there is an increasing number of couples with different nationality and race who get married each and every year because of the fact that dating apps and websites can be used by people from any part of the globe.

Mainstream Dating apps and sites are everywhere. With so many to choose from, make sure to find the one that best fits your personality and lifestyle. There are dating apps and sites for religious people, mostly Christians. There are also some that’s exclusive for professionals. While these apps and sites are mostly for heterosexuals, there are also ones for individuals who choose and prefer a different sexual orientation. There are apps and sites mainly intended for homosexuals, bisexuals, gays, lesbians, etc. This means there is an app or website suitable for everyone – young and old alike!

The Truth about Adult Dating

While some people use mainstream dating for love and affection, others use adult dating apps for casual sex and maybe more. People use this kind of apps for entertainment and pleasure. These apps are online dating platform but intended for finding, chatting, and meeting like-minded people for sexual activities. Users of this kind of apps surely do not like long-term dating and cuddles; they are after casual hook-ups, one night stand, and pure sex.

Others even specify on their profiles that kissing is not allowed. In some cases, individuals who just got out from a painful break-up turn to this kind of dating platform as a means to forget the pain through o strings attached’ sex and friends with benefits’ kind of situation.

Using Mainstream and Adult Dating Apps: How to Get Started

Like every app or website, it all begins with a working email, unique password, and catchy username. As a general rule, you have to be 18 years and older to be allowed to sign up. Your name, age, and location are the most basic information required. You have the option to disclose your real name, age and address but for security reasons, many people do not and will only do so upon meeting or dating someone in person.

After filling up the basic info, some apps and sites will let you say something about yourself, your likes and dislikes, and describe the kind of person you prefer or want to meet, date, or even have sex with. This is the part where you basically ell’ yourself; make sure to come up with an interesting description to attract others. Be specific and honest with your likes and dislikes and do not write vague statements that will only confuse other users. When it comes to describing the type of person you are looking for, be straight to the point. Do you want someone who is tall, dark and handsome or maybe skinny, tan and petite?

Mainstream Dating versus Adult Dating: How They Differ

Survey: The questions you will be required to answer in dating apps for casual sex are direct and strong like “Do you want a date before the first fuck?”Some apps only need a es’ or o’ answer. Given that ‘maybe’ is not an option, you have to be sure with what you click. Your answers to the survey will reflect the kind of person you want to flirt with and ultimately reflect the kind of person you are.

Pictures:

Your profile picture and basically all photos you upload in a mainstream dating app or site must be wholesome, showing less skin as possible. You don’t want to make a bad first impression, especially if you are on a dating app for Christians or professionals. Adult dating apps, on the other hand, require sexy pictures. Most men and women show a lot of skin; to the extent, naked.

Care, Love and Affection versus Mere Pleasure and Sex:

Mainstream dating is wholesome in nature, while adult dating is somewhat erotic. People who believe in fairy tales and happily ever after may visit the former. The latter, on the other hand, is for people who want casual sex and momentary pleasure. Perhaps a short time to escape reality! To set the right expectation, adult dating apps for sex is definitely not the ideal place to find love. In rare cases that it happens, maybe only 1% or 2%.

What’s the Catch?

Again, there are countless mainstream and adult dating apps out there. Because of this, always make sure to read reviews before finally downloading anything. There are dating apps for casual sex that’s purely for free, while there are also those that come with a cost. It is up to you if you want to pay a monthly subscription, just be sure you are getting the most of what you pay for. The app should have all the features you want and need.

Date app choices

Choose a dating app that guarantees utmost security. Given that you will be posting pictures of yourself – naughty ones for sure – ensure that you are always safe. You do not want to avail or pay for something that will only jeopardize your identity.