A Lesbians Guide to Making Strap-Ons More Fun

lesbian sex toys
Strap-ons are one of my absolute favourite things to use during sex! It’s been a long road of learning what straps make me feel most comfortable and what style of dildos I like using and which ones make me feel good when I spot myself in the mirror. Dildo choices have come a long way over the last few years, so many new brands have come out with toys that don’t look like penises but still have a great range of different shapes, sizes and colours. Then there’s the brands that have come out with revolutionary dildos that look and feel ultra-realistic, some get erect and some even ejaculate.
Then there’s share dildos…. 3 years ago I admitted that I couldn’t hold one in… this is still the case, so today I’ll be giving you my updated list of toys that makes using straps a little bit more exciting for the wearer.
We Vibe Chorus 

We Vibe update their couple’s vibrator every few years, this year they released the chorus and it’s stronger and better than ever. This toy is my personal favourite to combine with my straps. It gives you both internal and external stimulation whilst being a completely hands-free toy. If you insert the bigger motor, the smaller motor sits nicely flat in the front where the strapon dildo sits and you can feel the vibrations through the dildo, making it a little more fun for your partner as well. You’ll definitely need the remote to control the toy once inserted and then it’s up to you who gets to be in control.

 
We Vibe Jive 
If you’re a beginner with toys or you’re the kind of person that gets over stimulated if too much is going on at the same time then the We Vibe Jive is a better toy start off with. For me personally I find the Jive to be a little weak, but for someone who can’t handle a lot of vibration, this is perfect. It has a longer body than most standard eggs and it has a curve to it so when you’re using it with straps it would move with your body when you’re thrusting. On the tip of the tail you’ll find your control button.
Romp Wave 
Let me just start with, this toy won’t work with all types of straps, it will need support to stay in place. Boxer short harnesses or any harness that has 2 straps running underneath your bits should do the job. The Romp Wave is an external vibrator that has a larger body and motor then just your standard bullet. It should sit nicely under your bits, massaging different areas while you’re thrusting up against it. It’s quite a thin toy and it’s covered in soft silicone so it will be nice and comfy.

2020 Best Gay Sex Positions

gay sexual positions

Are you ready to find out the best gay positions you can replicate with your partner to have a very good and intense sexual experience together. These are some of the best 2020 positions.

Daddy and Daddy

Gay version of the straight “dad and mom”, the two men face each other and whoever is penetrated gets their legs around their partner. With this position, the two can exchange many kisses, caresses and look each other in the eye, which makes the moment much more special.

Pile driver

This is certainly one of the most pleasant positions! Similar to “Daddy and Daddy”, the passive stands with his legs raised while the active penetrates him from above. The penetration gets even deeper and the angle stimulates the passive prostate.If you want delicious anal penetration, face-to-face contact and the opportunity to kiss your partner during sex, this position is ideal, as it allows all this type of contact, making sex much more pleasurable for you. both, given the level of intimacy.

Shells

It is perfect for couples who like to snuggle up right after sex. They lie together on the bed, facing the same side, and the asset penetrates from behind. Penetration is easier because the muscles of the pelvic region are relaxed. The active boy, while penetrating, can masturbate his partner guaranteeing maximum pleasure. A sexual position that both will enjoy.

Spider man

Ideal for the situation where the asset has an upward curved penis. The liability is suspended by pressing one wall with the back and the other with the feet. The asset is in front of you, penetrating from the bottom up

69

There would be no way to leave the classic 69 off that list. The idea is to encourage the partner in every way possible while he strives to give back. Lying down, each one has their face in the other’s groin, having oral sex.

Bite and Blow

One of the men lies with his hips on the edge of the bed, while the partner comes in front of him and penetrates him. To make things even better, whoever is penetrating can bend over to have oral sex on their partner.

Perfect soulmates

Also known as “Perfect Fit”, this position is super romantic and allows many kisses and caresses. One sits while the other sits facing him, on top, and surrounds him with his arms and legs.

Electric drill

The penetration is much deeper in this position! The passive stands with his leg raised while the active penetrates him from the front. In this way, the asset is very free to control the movements

Bulldog

Another classic position that could not be left out of the list! In it, the active is behind, penetrating and embracing the companion, guaranteeing a lot of pleasure to both.

Big tiger

Penetration is very simple and the two partners are close together. The liability lies on its stomach and the asset comes over the top and penetrates it.

This is a classic and infallible position in anal sex, a kind of puppy, but lying down. To perform it, the active boy must have strong arms to be able to move during penetration, while the passive must raise his chair slightly. To ensure the comfort of those who are penetrated, it is best to place a pillow at the level of the abdomen, so it is not necessary to force the cervical, obtaining a much more intense pleasure.

Leg wrench

A variation of the “Piledriver” , in this pleasurable position, the passive wraps the legs around the partner as he penetrates him. The two are very close and the passive manages to control the intensity of the movements.

Legs in the air

It can be done on a chair. While the active is seated, the partner goes over the top with legs raised. The penetration is very deep and the two can look each other in the eye and exchange affection during the relationship.

We hope that this article has proven very useful and that it has given you and your gay partner a lot of new ideas to spice up your sex life in a very fun and safe way.

This is for parents who have children that have just come out!!

Coming Out Lesbian

Firstly let me just explain, I have a beautiful daughter who is a Lesbian, so do I understand some of what other parents or grandparents or relatives or friends go through in these situations when the children first come out? YES!! I understand the good, the bad and the ugly side to when your child first comes out.

 

I would like to say to the children that telling your parents in a text message is not a good idea as you are really not helping them understand or helping yourself. My daughter actually did this and I can honestly say I found this harder than her actually telling me to my face as I really thought we had a better relationship than that. So did I respond well to the text? NO I didn’t as I was so upset about the fact she sent it via a text that I was responding to that more than her telling  me she was a lesbian.

 

The Truth is we all react differently in these kind of situations but most of all I would rather my child be 100% happy with who they are and what they want out of life than them to suffer in silence or feel bad about who they are they should never feel there alone. As their parents we protect them all the way through their lives so why not do that now when they need us the most. You need to LISTEN to them and try to understand this is who they are. Nothing has changed, it’s a part of that beautiful child you loved before those words were spoken. Don’t risk losing them forever!!

 

I remember my reaction was just awful at first but when I drove to pick my daughter up from school and she got in the car, we both sat there crying for a bit then we went for a drive to chat about things as I had a lot of questions because I didn’t understand, I actually thought I had done something wrong. Had I raised her to despise men because I separated from her father when she was 6 years old? Had I been too hard on her? What was silly is I kept thinking I’d done something wrong in the way I raised her. See, this is one of the first thoughts a lot of parents have (the Don’ts List again). It’s actually not about Us!!!!

 

Listening to them and talking to them is the best way to understand. Hug them, let them know you are still their number 1 supporter. You would in any other situation so why not now. I’m the first to admit I struggled at times meeting the first girlfriend she had and then introducing her as my daughter’s girlfriend to family or friends.

My daughter would actually just look at me and say ‘It’s alright mum just say friend when introducing her’. But I didn’t want her to feel like I was struggling, she always did though. Now I don’t even have a second thought about it as she is a grown woman now and has worked hard to buy her home with her girlfriend.

 

There are times things became very difficult for my daughter as her biological father would never acknowledge she was a lesbian and would just ask on every holiday she had with him if she had a boyfriend yet. This was his way of believing if he didn’t talk about it then it wasn’t true. It took him about 8 years before he now acknowledges his daughter and her girlfriend and now he visits her and her girlfriend on a regular basis and has rebuilt his relationship with his daughter.

Then her stepfather was and still is the worst for not accepting her for who she is. They were once very close as he had raised her from the age of 7 and now they barely speak 2 words to each other. This was very difficult for the entire house as his beliefs were so one sided and after years of disagreeing with him and protection mode kicked in. It became, at times, very distressing for both the kids as I would protect my daughter from cruel comments and also try to explain to our son that this is not the way to behave or respond. But as his father was very verbal about this topic it made it hard for our son to understand what all the arguments where about as my son and daughter are 7 years apart in age but are very close siblings. This almost destroyed our family, but I was never going to let that happen. Today things are better, only my daughter will never feel the same about her stepfather again. So please guys remember stop and think about your responses and if you truly want to keep your child in your life (this sort of behaviour belongs on the don’ts List).

 

When you had concerns that some people out there will treat your child differently this is also true it does happen unfortunately. Quick little story on this. My daughter and I and her girlfriend and my entire family were out one night having fun, we had all just jumped on to the dance floor having a marvelous time, until in the corner of my eye I spotted a young drunk guy having words with my daughter’s girlfriend. Well it went a little crazy from there, this particular guy had said some pretty horrible things, so my daughter jumped in to stop him saying any more and the guy decided that if she was going to have a go he would respond by attempting to hit my daughter. Bad idea. I have then stepped in and I wasn’t going to take his pig headed nasty attitude with the girls or myself.  Well he decided trying to hit me was a good idea, which it was NOT, when I have an entire family with me. This had made me furious as I could not understand why this guy thought he had a right to criticize or even judge anyone but what it did show me is that this is just part of what my daughter and her friends had to put up with broke my heart to think people can be so nasty to my child!

This is where I say we as parents should always be there and support our children no matter what the situation is and remember people will judge and discriminate regardless so if we are there strength and support then they always have someone that will guide and give them the power to stay strong and be happy and most of all love them unconditionally. My children are my world and I know I could never turn my back on them.

I always try to remember the times I needed to talk or just needed my parents and yes I needed my own mum to talk to about all of this and because I was fortunate enough to have an absolutely amazing mum she helped me process things with her unconditional love and our entire family support my daughter in every way possible so don’t be afraid of what you don’t understand in that moment. Just Listen, hug, love, unconditionally.

I hope this helps any parents out there so you never have to face losing your children to lack of understanding. And I hope any young adult children struggling to tell their parents that this might help you as well.

 

From a loving parents point of view..   Lynn is a consultant at the Oh Zone Adult Stores and is more than happy to speak with other parents who may be experiencing the same issues.

Education of Sexual Health for Young Gay Men!

Sexual Health Gay

I’ve spoken before on the failures of the current sexual health education system when it comes to the sexual education of young people. The current system is failing young people that identify as straight, let alone individuals that identify as any other sexual orientation or sexuality. The current system is flawed in that it assumes that the people digesting the content are straight. It assumes that they have sexual relations for biological purposes, and it doesn’t mention or acknowledge the idea of sex for pleasure. This quick guide is not meant to replace that information – but it’s created to facilitate the sexual education of young non-heterosexual men.

Consent

Consent is the most important thing to remember when it comes to being intimate and you should get consent before any type of sexual encounter with everyone involved. Yes, that includes group sex and making sure each individual that will be involved understands what’s about to happen. Consent is more than just yes, or no and it’s extremely important to understand that just because they didn’t say no, doesn’t mean consent was given.

STIs

An STI is a sexually transmitted infection that is passed on from one sexual partner to the other through sexual activity and sexual contact. If you’ve had/have an STI, you’re not dirty – contracting an STI is actually extremely common. The important thing is that you get tested regularly so that it may be treated. STI’s can be shared by:
Skin to skin contact
Vaginal Sex
Anal Sex
Oral Sex
Needles
Contact with body fluids such as blood and semen
While many STI’s have visible symptoms, there are a lot of STI’s that don’t have any symptoms and you may not even be aware that you are carrying it. As such, getting tested is a simple and extremely effective way to make sure that you are STI Free.
What kind of sex is there, and how can you do this safely?
STD
Sexually Transmitted Infections

Oral and Penetrative Sex

You should not engage, or have oral sex if you or your partner has cuts, bumps, or sores around their genitals or their mouth. This could be a sign of infection and can increase the risk of transmitting an STI. When it comes to penetrative sex – defined as the insertion of a body part or toy – inside someone’s vagina, anus, or hole it’s important to note that whilst all involved share some risk, typically, the greater risk applies to the person being inserted – known as the bottom. With the introduction of PrEP, a daily pill taken to prevent HIV there has been a marked increase of other STI’s including chlamydia. It’s important to consider the risk – Yes, PrEP will prevent you from contracting HIV, but it will not prevent the transmission of other STI’s and for a complete spectrum of protection a range of preventative measures can be considered which include the use of Prep and the use of a barrier such as a condom.

Male Condoms (Also outside condoms)

Many young men will be surprised to find that there are a range of diferent sized condoms. That’s certainly not something that they discuss at school. So many young men experience their first condom and they’ll find that it might simply fall off, or be so tight that they can’t feel anything. We have other guides here that will tell you how to correctly fit a condom, but suffice to say if it doesn’t fit right – rest assured that they will make a condom for you. On that note – only wear a single condom at a time, and change it with each sexual activity. If you’re wearing it from oral, to insertion and back to oral – you’ll be wanting to change the condom. You can even use condoms over toys! Say for example you’re both into bottoming and you have the perfect dildo – wrap the dildo shaft in a condom, and then before you use it in someone else, change the condom! Simple. It should be noted that in an ideal situation – you’ll want to be cleaning it as well, just in case.
An important thing to note – it doesn’t matter whether your straight, gay, bisexual (or any other sexuality) nor does it matter if you are male, female, transgender (or any other gender) – there is no sexuality or gender that places you more at risk for STI and other infections. It is the activities that you do, and how risky the sexual behaviour is. There is a very big difference betwen giving someone a handjob, to having regular sex with a monogamous sexual partner, to engaging with bareback sex in the park with recently met men. At the end of the day, you are in control of your body and you choose how much risk to place yourself in. The best preventative care that you can take is understanding your self and your body and to make sure that you and your sexual partners are getting tested. But how do you check in with your sexual partners current health status?
You’re hot, you’re horny and you’ve got a dick as hard as a rock – do you realy need to ask them about their tests? Ideally yes. It can be a quick check in before you meet up with them where you say along the lines of – i was tested two weeks and i came back negative for STI’s, when was your last check? If it’s a regular partner and you’d like to check in with them it can be a little trickier to bring up without making it awkward, but you could approach it like this. Hey, i noticed it’s been a while since i was tested – was wondering if you’d like to come down with me and get tested together? This enforces the idea that you are being responsible and allows them to reveal they were recently tested, or that they’d love to go get tested together.

Every person regardless of sexual identity or orientation deserves the best information that they can get and whilst this doesn’t cover everything it certainly gives you the tool set to begin practicing self-care and taking responsibility for your body.

Sex And Gender Distinctions!

Gender assignment

Let’s talk gender. I know there has been a lot of discussions recently in the media regarding: sex, gender, gender-fluid, transgender and it has left a lot of people feeling confused. It’s okay to be confused let’s break down this busy term. What makes terminology so problematic is that sometimes the context or meaning changes. As culture shifts and changes, this changes our language, both the denotation and connotation meanings of words.

Basic Sex Ed

Just a quick biology lesson on human genetics, men and women both possess a total of 46 chromosomes, as well as 2 sex chromosomes. Men have 1 X and 1 Y chromosome whereas women have 2 X chromosomes. This slight difference causes massive changes within the body’s development and the primary sex characteristics which then develop. This matter still isn’t black and white, some people are born with extra chromosomes, for example, intersex people have sexual characteristics of both sexes.

Gender and Sex Are Different Things

If you think of the people who struggle with understanding of: gender-fluid, non-binary and transgender people – it’s almost always older people. Ah, baby boomers, blaming everyone else except themselves for the worlds problems. This belief stems from a time when gender was once synonymous with a person’s biological sex; which was a binary distinction to define whether someone was male or female. This has since been disputed with sex being your biological sex or genital assignment at birth. Okay, so is everyone with me? Sex is biological when you’re born with either male sex organs or female sex organs will define your sex.

Biological Genders
Sexual Distinctions

Here Comes the Complex Part

Now, gender refers to a socially constructed systems or characteristics between femininity and masculinity, these classifications are subjective and vary depending on cultural aspects. I know that was a lot of fancy words, but bear with me. To put it simply, when you imagine an Australian man, you probably picture football shorts, beer, work boots etc. These things are associated with our version of masculinity because our society states that these features are masculine things. However, what defines sex and gender does depend on cultural aspects, what defines a man in one culture will not be universal to all cultures. What defines being a man in Australia is vastly different to what defines a man in Peru.

We Teach Gender to Children

As sex and gender are too often lumped together, many people believing that your birth sex determines your gender and the characteristics associated with that particular gender. This is not hard-wired into men and women but rather taught to us from birth, baby girls receive pink clothes and baby dolls whilst boys are given blue outfits and monster trucks. From a young age boys are taught that expressing emotions, playing with girls’ toys or playing dress ups is a feminine quality and the male child is shamed out of this behaviour.

People NEED Labels

Experts have stated that “Gender is now one of the busiest, most restless terms in the English language, a word that crops up everywhere, yet whose uses seem to be forever changing, always on the move, producing new and often surprising inflections of meaning.” Humans have long feared the unknown, too often people are more comfortable with ideologies that we can label and categorise. A woman who dresses in masculine clothes and has masculine behaviours but still presents as a woman leaves people feeling confused because she breaks her normative alignment of her assumed gender or rather what is expected of her in society that person must make a choice to fall back into their gender alignment for people to accept them or continuously break this alignment and be treated differently by society. Basically, this is when people would question her gender and her sexuality, calling her a dyke would justify this behaviour and allow others to feel more comfortable because there is a reason for her behaviour.

Does Gender Really Matter

The term gender is problematic because it is hard to draw distinctions between the various genders. A researcher by the name Bradley stated that “…gender is more than a fixed label for individuals…”

Glover and Kaplan also assert that society is fixated on gender roles, gender gaps and gender bias agendas but not so much on what gender is to the individual. The truth is that the term is so subjective and ambiguous, it is able to morph to fit anyone’s desire, beliefs, sexual preferences [or lack thereof] and this is what causes the term to be busy. There is a reason many people struggle to understand gender as a concept because it a complex one at that. To study, gender is fascinating – however, it’s when people who disagree with the various genders concepts use this as a reason to bully and harass someone. At the end of the day everyone should be less concerned with what sex organs someone has and rather the person that they are on the inside.