20 Dating Tricks You Wish You Knew

Dating troubles

Whether you are new to the dating world or hopping back into the dating pool for the…? time, the water is always cold and cloudy to start with. It takes a bit of time to find your feet but sure enough before long you’ll be off and running.

It doesn’t matter if the date is with someone you’ve met online that you have been chatting with for months or a blind date set up by a mutual friend. Going on dates can be a tad overwhelming. The whole premise of dating is to be vulnerable and let someone get close to you, this alone is enough to make someone apprehensive for whatever reason. On top of the emotional factors, there is always physical risks and I’m not just referring to a potential assault; but also transportation etc.

Over the years from personal experience as well as countless hours being a shoulder for “girl” friends, mates or the random drunk crying person at the end of a night out. Through all of these experience and conversations, I have compiled a few tips that I think can help to make the dating experience smarter and safer.

These tips are in no particular order and should be taken at face value. These have worked for me and for others, please use them as you will, change and adapt as you go. No two people go through the dating world on the same path. Find out what works for you and don’t be ashamed of it.

I hope you find some use in the tips below, just remember to date safe and smart!

1. There’s more to life and happiness than a relationship!

It’s great to want a relationship but obsession is not a good look on anyone.

2. You gotta like single you!

If you’re unhappy with yourself and your lifestyle, how is someone else supposed to want to spend time with you, little own make you feel better about yourself?

3. Date yourself a bit!

If the whole idea of planning a date seems overwhelming, take yourself out a few times before jumping into the dating pool. Find out what you like to do, know your limits.

4. Dating isn’t about proving your worth to someone! (You already are worth it!)

It’s about finding someone you can be comfortably yourself with. Someone you can spend ridiculous amounts of time with doing NOTHING!

5. Stop worrying about being “rejected” for being “too fat”, “too short” or whatever!

You may have had to reject them later on for having not seen Pretty Woman or the Latest DC movie. Everyone has their own “fit” of personality traits in a relationship they would like their lover to have.

6. When someone says “I’m too damaged” or “I have too much baggage”, believe them!

Forget low self-esteem and self-deprecation. This person does not need you to pick them up and put their pieces back together.

7. First dates are not interviews for marriage (Save that till you meet their mother)

While first impressions count for a lot, give these things time, that’s what getting to know someone is about.

8. Make the first few dates public and use separate transportation.

This reassures a sense of independence and safety for both parties.

9. Turn off your phone!

How do you expect to open up to someone or for someone to open up to you when there is a glowing screen between you?

Man waiting for his date
Image: Waiting For Date

10. Avoid the “ex” conversations.

An ex is in the past, leave it there.

11. Action dates are best to start with!

Most people already sit at a desk from 9-5, try planning dates that get you up and out. Move around and try different things. This is a sure way to instigate good conversation.

12. Don’t be afraid to google!

It’s 2017 almost 2018… if you’re about to go on a date with someone you’ve never met and share no mutual contacts… try giving them a google search, it might save yourself an awkward bombshell.

13. Limit the boozy beverages.

One before to calm the nerves, one to start the meal and get the conversation going… And see how you feel from there. You should always be in complete control of yourself.

14. Eye gazing tells you a lot.

Researchers have found that when someone is romantically “into” another person their gaze tends to land on and around the face. When the feelings are more sexual their eyes wander around the other person’s body.

15. $20

Always have $20 tucked away. $20 may not get you home, but it will get you $20 closer to home!

16. Say what you mean and mean what you say!

Don’t say you’re going to call unless you really intend to call!

17. Don’t be afraid of the second date!

Unless the first date was a nightmare give the second one a go, perhaps you’ll both be more like yourselves?

18. Consider pulling someone out of the “Friend Zone”.

Friends are friends, but perhaps there is a certain person you just haven’t looked at in the right light. I mean they’re in your life for a reason?

19. No guilt for moving on!

If you don’t feel any sort of something from date one 2 or even 12, know it’s ok to move on. Not everyone is going to be a fit.

20. No games!

Forget the 3 days or 48 hours no call rules or whatever you’ve heard. Be yourself, call or text when YOU feel appropriate. (Just remember obsession doesn’t look good on anyone!). Unless they are adult games you would like to play!

Author: Patrick Kriz- BA Psychology Human Sexuality

One’s Art Is Another’s Porn

Woman kissing a male statue

Would you hang a painting of two people “making love” in your home? How about an image of two people “Fucking”? The first one sounded more like a possibility, didn’t it? A painting of “making love” sounded more artistic and appropriate to share with others.

How Do We Separate Art And Porn?

Is there a need to separate or a need to take a second look? I’ve heard it argued that depictions of intercourse describe what is pornographic, perhaps that’s a valid argument? On second thought… I had to think of all the art and artists that do depict intercourse (and there are a lot of them), some in a very graphic way others in a more conceptual way. Looking through history and modern art to me it’s very hard to see a line between what is pornographic and what is “art”. Whilst looking at the following works of art keep in mind that both art and pornographic material can be used to explore sexuality.

Katsushika Hokusai

Everyone knows or is familiar with Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai, No? The name doesn’t sound familiar? He painted mostly in the early 1800’s, one of his pieces has been duplicated and redone in everything from wallpaper to car seat covers.

Famous japanese print of sea
Image: Katsushika Hokusai – Under The Wave Of Kanagawa

While this might be Katsushika more well-known piece in western culture, it is his Shunga works that give Katsushika his most notable fame. Shunga means Spring and Spring is a Japanese euphemism for Sex.

Asian people having sex
Image: Katsushika Hokusai – The Adonis Plant
An octopuss eating out a woman
Image: Katsushika Hokusai -The Dream of the Fishermans Wife

Jeff Koons

Jeff Koons is an American artist best known for his Banal object pieces. Famous for recreating balloon animals in large stainless steel sculptures. Also very well known for his pop culture subjects.

Golden sculpture of Micheal Jackson & Bubbles
Image: Jeff Koons – Micheal Jackson & Bubbles 1988

At one point in the 90s, while he was married to Italian Adult film star, Jeff put together a full art show surrounding their intimate acts. Images are blown up beyond life size. These giant portraits filled the gallery floor to ceiling. The series is called “Made in Heaven” 1991. Have a search for it if you’re into that 70’s porn magazine portraits. From the same series, Koons made enamel sculptures of these same intimate moments. Maybe it’s just me, but I think they could sit next to any Swarovski collection.

Scultpure of man having sex with a woman
Image: Jeff Koons – Dirty Jeff On Top
Scuplture of oral sex
Image: Jeff Koons – Jeff Eating IIona 1991

Andy Warhol

Everyone’s favourite Pop Artist Andy Warhol Is not a name synonymous with Erotica, at least to most of his fans. He was made famous by his POP art style and celebrity collaborations.  I think most memorable was his series with Marilyn Monroe in the late 60s. Another artist whose works have been replicated in every medium possible.

Pop art of Marilyn Monroe
Image: Andy Warhol – Monroe Series

Andy Warhol definitely had his foray into the erotica world. Especially later in his art careers when most of his subject matter went predominately in the homo erotic direction. Warhol’s “Pop” Art style certainly added an ambiguity to the explicit pieces he was creating.

Sexy feet erotic porn
Image: Andy Warhol – Torsos and Sex Parts Series 1977
A painting of a big dick
Image: Andy Warhol – Torsos And Sex Parts

All of these artists are known artists for their “non-erotic” works and yet even with their collections of erotic art, we don’t consider them as a Pornographic artist or even vulgar artist. They are noted for their contributions and individual takes on the human sexual form and the act of sex itself. Art is often blamed for being a product that romanticises the act of sex through the renaissance era particularly. Making it look so soft and delicate and of course depicting the man to be in charge.

There was a time that artists and their art were created to shock us and displace our minds. Art was there to force us to rethink our rational and expand the way to view everyday life and events. Today every 13 seconds new porn is uploaded to the internet. Today’s people are not shocked by the artwork, but rather the constant input of pornographic videos and moving images.

Just like sexual preferences, everyone has their own taste in what Art is. Perhaps before this blog post, you hadn’t considered Erotic art at all? I have only included the smallest references to erotic art and artists in this article but Oh Zones Adult Lifestyle Centres around Sydney have a number of great books with vast collections of Erotic Art. If you would like to look at more art, have a look at my tribute to my favourite male erotic art.

Author: KrizPatrick BA(Hon) Psychology- Human Sexuality

18 Unbelievable Ways You Can Use Lube!

Personal silicone lubricant dripped on a persons body

If you’re anything like me then your “bedside drawer” or sex drawer is fuller than any other handy “drawer” or toolbox in your house, you find yourself in need of handy solutions to fix everyday problems. Working in the sex and sexual health industry I am never running short of Lube and it’s a good thing! Here are 18 uses for lube that really have come in handy!

Lip Care

Whether it be dry cracked lips from the cold, sun or wind lube has great qualities for moisturizing as well it will protect the skin. (It also doesn’t taste as good as commercial lip balms so you’ll be less likely to lick it off your lips!)

Side note: You can mix a tiny amount of lipstick and water-based lube to make a lightweight lip gloss!

Make-Up Remover

Another amazing savior, if you’ve ever used a new product or SFX makeup and find out your regular bottle of Marcella water isn’t taking this gunk off your face? Maybe you’re just uncomfortable pulling off false lashes? Once again it’s Silicone Lube to the rescue! Warm a little lube up in your hands and start rubbing, this stuff takes it all off! (If you’re using it for false lashes use a cotton bud and rub the top of the lash line.)


Because of lubes moisturizing and skin protecting properties, it makes for the best (in my opinion) shaving cream. I find the lube attaches to the hair better raising it from the skin ensuring the closest shave. And because lube helps to prevent the skin from micro-tears I find that razor burn and ingrown hairs are minimised. This is even true for the coarser hairs in the underarms and bikini and taint areas.


I have read countless blogs talking about using lube as a substitute moisturizer, I can see where they are coming from however it’s just too thick. It’s not going to penetrate the dermis layer of the skin giving you real moisture for your skin. I think Lube is better left as a barrier protecting the skin from micro tears and damaging frictions. (In a last didge effort the right Lube could be used as a massage oil).

Bushy Bushy Brows!

Untameable brows don’t have to put a damper on your day. A tiny tiny TINY amount of lube massaged into your brows will give you that sleek clean brow you’re after.  If you use too much lube you’ll end up looking like you have sweat pouring from your brows and nobody wants that look! A little goes a LONG way!

Fly Away Hairs Got You On End?

Lube is heavier than leave in conditioner but lighter than Hair Gel. With a very small amount of lube, you can have that summer beach look without the frizzy accompaniment.

Gum In Your Hair!

Put the Scissors down! Silicone lube should be your new go-to for this sticky situation. (I hope you don’t need this more than once.) It also helps to choose one of the best personal silicone lubricants like SuperSlyde!


Using silicone lube makes ease out of the tangled mess of Lice infested hair. The thickness or viscosity of the lube is also unpleasant for the lice and they aren’t able to run around the head and escape your comb!

Chafing killing your stride?

I’m not a runner, personally, I don’t see the point unless something is chasing you. But for those who do, I’ve heard chafing can be a serious issue.

Seriously, who hasn’t had that painful chafing from walking the beach in damp shorts?  A little Lube goes a long way!

Lube also works if you have eczema or psoriasis causing discomfort from a shirt or bra rubbing.

First Aid

You can make your own Ice packs for compression first aid needs with lube. Fill a ziplock bag… put it in a second bag for added leak protection. After you let the baggie freeze you’ll have a gel ice pack perfect for any need.

Award Winning Personal Lubricant SuperSlyde
Buy Now | Sex Toy Store With Silicone Lubricant

Hate Breaking In New Shoes?

The dreaded aching and torturous feeling of breaking in a new pair of shoes. Grab that lube out of the bedside drawer and rub a little on the places that rub and you’ll be as comfortable with your new purchase as you are happy to show them off!

Last Season’s Dress Shoes Looking A Little Rough?

I know I can’t be the only one who has had a last minute shoe-mergency where the only shoes that go with my outfit for an event I have to attend in 20 minutes are scuffed and grunge-looking. Silicone lube can polish latex and patent leather! This has been a shoe saver on more than one occasion for me! (Just make sure you don’t use it on LEATHER shoes!)

Knotted Chain

Digging through that jewellery box that you just toss everything into and you find a chain you’re finally ready to wear only it’s completely knotted and kinked. Use some of that bedside lube and roll the knotted chain in the fingers. This will begin to loosen the kinks in that chain.

Stubborn Price Tags

Why does this happen? Some tags pull right off no dramas, but others feel like they use a new form of super glue, that will ensure that tacky price tag is noticeable to everyone. With a very small amount of silicone lube and a touch of elbow grease, you can remove any remnants of that glue residue!

Gum Under The Table!

I have heard of restaurants that will use KY lube to remove gum from the underside of tables. Now if you’ve ever had the unpleasant job of scraping gum off a table, you’ll agree you’d try anything to make the job easier!

Ring Stuck?

Who hasn’t been in or around this situation? It can be painful and scary or hilarious depending on your sense of humor. But lube gets into those tight spaces and help reduce friction. A couple twists turns and pulls that ring should be off in no time.

Door Jams

If you hate having to jiggle and wiggle that key around your stubborn door lock, try the tiniest amount of silicone lube on the key before inserting it.

The same can be used for door hinges that squeak or are hard to open and close.

In the Shop

Pretty much anything WD-40 can be used for you can use Silicone Lube in its replacement. Mind you the effects don’t last as long, but it certainly works when you’re in a pinch. Keep it in mind next time you need to grease up your hair clippers, bike chain, rolling drawers etc.

You can even use it to grease your fishing rod! Although Silicone Lube like SuperSlyde can be used for masturbation and sex why not try using it for other purposes!

Author: KrizPatrick BA(Hon) Psychology- Human Sexuality



Get Pumped Up On Hydromax!

Penis Pump By Bathmate

A few weeks back I was presented with the opportunity to give Bathmate’s products a try for myself first hand. And being truthfully honest with you… I was apprehensive. No, that’s not the right word… I was perhaps uninterested. Firstly, I am lucky enough not to deal with erectile issues (Knock on wood, again and again!). Secondly, I’m not a “pumper”! I have never tried using a pump for that ultimate suction sensation that pumps can provide. I have my own personal and not always rational fear of using devices on my penis, for some silly reason I really like mine! However irregular injuries caused by such devices is something I personally aim to avoid. After giving it some thought, which really only went for 2 minutes. I jumped at it. Try everything twice I always say!

Bathmate began their venture in quite the harrowing story. In 2004 after a friend suffered a major spinal injury, Bathmate creator and CEO saw the effects his friend was going through. Seeing the lack of ingenuity on the market to help erectile deficiencies. The pumps were for the most part ineffective or uncomfortable and awkward to use. Using his engineering ingenuity went to work to design a pump that would work on a hydraulic system, the first of its kind. Almost 15 years later we can see what a success it has been! Bathmate’s Hydromax penis pumping systems are tops in their field. Whether you yourself are burdened by erectile troubles or you’re looking to expand your current members’ size, the Hydromax system would be my suggestion!

Before going into my personal venture with Bathmate and their Hydromax, I want to stress how very important reading the instructions and taking your time is when it comes to using these kinds of devices. These pumps have very powerful suction and if you jump in too fast and over pump it is possible to cause muscle damage and bruising to your penis. Please take your time do your research or better yet, pop into an Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre near you and ask one of the friendly staff your questions.

Hydromax X30

The unit I took home was the Hydromax X30. Bathmate has created a number of variations of their pumps to fill customer demands. If you do go looking into pump systems you will notice Bathmate has 3 different systems with variations within each system. They range in variable lengths and girths depending on your personal needs.  The Hydromax system I went with claims to have 35% more suction/pumping power than the original Bathmate series (which is still the top selling pump on the market).

I, of course, cannot compare my Hydromax X30 to the original, but I can tell you, it’s powerful. The suction inside the Hydromax device is incredible. From what I can tell the differences between the Bathmate series and the Hydromax series is the quality of materials used in the process. IE softer silicone etc.

After using the device the first time, I was a little surprised by how limited you are to only using the device in an area that can get wet. It’s important to know that while you pump the water from inside the cylinder, it ejects out with force. I would definitely recommend only using this in the shower or bath!  I was looking on their website at the different accessories and I wished I had opted for the optional neck strap! This strap looks like it would make the process easier and a little less “hands on”.

Maxout Cream

A potential companion to your Bathmate Pump is Bathmate’s “Maxout” or Jelqing cream. And no that’s not a typo. Jelqing is another word for milking and is often used to describe the physical act of stroking the shaft of the penis. Popular belief is that when this is done properly it is possible to achieve a larger and stronger penis. Personally, my vote is still out on this debate. However, if you are interested in increasing the size of your “manhood” I would say pumps are your safer option when done the right way. The Maxout Cream by Bathmate does add a great level of moisturiser to the shaft of the penis before you begin using the pump.

Jelqing Serum By Bathmate
Image: Bathmate Max Out Jelq

Control Delay Cream

It’s exactly what it says it does! With a strong understanding of how effective their product is Bathmate knew their customers would want some help to delay their climax while using the pumps. With help from the Delay cream and some steady practice, these pumps can help do more than engorge a member, if used smart these pumps could help to curb the urge to prematurely ejaculate.

Delay Ejaculation Cream By Bathmate
Image: Bathmate Control

3 x Power Rings

If you’ve read some of my previous blogs, you’ll already know what a proponent of cock rings I am! I am very lucky to have one of each of the 3 power rings by Bathmate. I have only taken one out of its packaging and until it breaks, it will be my regular. The ring I am currently obsessed with is the “Gladiator”, it’s a rounded ring made from soft squishy TPE/TPR or rubber if you want a simple name. The unique thing about the Gladiator is the nodes on the inside of the ring. These little nodes add great pleasure pressure to the penis aiding with blood flow control and adding great pressure sensations. I have used this both with the pump and without the pump, it’s just a great cock ring to add to any collection!

Cock Ring By Bathmate
Image: Bathmate Power Rings (From Left To Right: Barbarian, Gladiator and Spartan)

Toy Cleaner

If you’re going to the field leader with your product why not develop your own custom toy cleaner? That’s exactly what Bathmate has done with their misting toy cleaner. I will say I used this to both clean out the Hydromax pump itself and it worked great, at least from what I could tell. The device didn’t need much of a clean though. I did also try the misting toy cleaner on a few other toys that had been used with silicone lube. I found that the misting spray nozzle meant I needed more spray to give the toys a coating, it also took a touch of elbow grease to get that silicone film off the toys as well. I think the Misting toy cleaner is better left for the delicate job of keeping my pump clean and healthy.

Sex Toy Cleaner By Bathmate
Buy Now | Bathmate Hydromax Product Range

Call me Happy! Because that’s what I am. I stepped outside of my regular (however irregular they might be) realm of sexual pleasures and tried a completely new style of toy. While there were a few surprises, a few things I found difficult, I am very excited about my Hydromax (and Gladiator cock ring). What I find most intriguing is now I can see firsthand how these penis enlargement devices like the Hydromax could potentially help those with premature ejaculation. I’m still unsure about the pumps having lasting effects on the physiology of a penis. At least we can have fun finding out!

Author: Patrick Kriz- BA, Psych (HON)- Human Sexuality



It’s Time For The Sex Talk

Sperm Swimming

When I started this article it began as a “how to” guide for talking with “Tweens” (11-13 Years of age). I started asking around to parents I knew about the challenges they faced or are facing with talking to their kids about sex. It became clear very quickly how many parents were not discussing sex education topics with their younger children. Missed opportunities are hard to make up for later on, it’s harder for the brain to relearn things it’s already learned, whether correct or not. You know your child better than anyone else and it’s important to be there as a support and a resource for their inquiries. Why not go on a journey of discovery together? Have them ask you the questions, be open minded, forget the judgements for a minute.

Sex education should begin when a child begins the stage of self-awareness around the age of 2. This a critical stage in any child’s development. Now I am sure many of you reading this are thinking “what could a 2-year-old learn about sex?”… the answer is a lot. Most of it isn’t something to “talk” about, as they are just too young to comprehend. However, it is still important you as parents can foster a safe space for them to discover their own sexuality and pleasure, alone and in the privacy of their own bedroom.

Pivotal Development

When a child is around the age of 2 they begin to be aware of who they are around, they begin mentally mapping the people they know and are around often. All of this is learning trust. They are finding their limits along with their likes and dislikes when it comes to interacting with others. This particular point in a child’s personal development is a perfect time to instil the power of consent and reinforce the fact that their body is theirs and theirs alone. This is as simple as helping them to decide when a hug is wanted and is most appropriate. Kissing family and friends isn’t something to be forced. Don’t take it personally when your toddler doesn’t want to hug or kiss another relative or close friend. They are working out in their heads who and where they can trust/give consent. While it might seem like telling them to hug someone is helping them to know who is ok to hug, it’s actually doing the opposite.  Forcing a toddler to hug someone is telling them that their body is not their own and that someone else has authority over them.

In no way am I saying that your 2-year-old is better equipped to make the decision of who to trust, I am simply saying to give them the opportunities to work it out for themselves, this development will continue to build a strong sense of their ownership over themselves!

Starting the Conversations

As toddlers grow into children and into pre-teens it is imperative as parents to be there, now I’m not talking about being there as support. I am referring to being along with your child on their journey. The biggest tip I can give when it comes to talking with your kids about Sex is USE the media! Whenever you are with them and the topic comes up on the TV, Radio etc. start talking about what it is. Open a dialogue, show them YOU want to talk about these things and that it’s not “weird”. If you can take the “taboo” out of sex and puberty then, of course, they will want to talk to you, they have a million burning questions. And don’t worry at this age aside from a few bombshell questions they will be vague for the most part. The bombshells they ask will require your honesty, but also your own discretion as to what they will fully understand.

These years can be the hardest as a child’s interest in such topics will vary from day to day. Sex isn’t necessarily a top priority to sort out as they are figuring out the rest of life, but the curiosities are still there and it’s important for a parent to ensure their child/children always have a safe open communication about these topics. It’s why I stress so much to parents open dialogue when sexual topics arise on media.

Teen Talk

Now for the REAL talk with tweens. If you’re one of those families trying to live in the progressive lane on this highway of life. If you’re one of those parents who finds it hard to strike up the embarrassing conversations about body changes and strange feelings. You shouldn’t feel bad or inadequate, these conversations are pivotal and of course AWKWARD!

I have been working in sex education for a number of years now and have spoken with countless families and teenagers going through this “phase” of life. But let’s face it, there is no one right way to talk to teenagers about sex. I know it’s hard to believe but teenagers are people too, and they vary from one to another just like partners in the dating pool.

If you can prepare yourself for some vulgarity and the brash reality of teenage puberty get ready. NETFLIX has brought out a new show which is garnering a lot of attention at the moment for its NSFW tone… BIG MOUTH comes to us from the same pair who worked on Family Guy. And while most of the show is a satirical take on the life and problems tweens face during puberty, this show presents the obscure and irrational of puberty emotions. Creators Nick Kroll and Andrew Goldberg capture the real struggle this age group go through and perhaps how oblivious their parents and surrounding family are to their struggle.

Netflix TV Show Big Mouth
Buy Now | Sexual Health Store With Condoms

I would suggest watching the show first as Parent(s) without the child or children and then watch it again with your tween(s). Make sure you take the time to laugh so they know you’re comfortable. You might think that because they call for you when you’re on the toilet or walk into your bedroom without knocking that they are comfortable with you. When it comes to their body and their feelings they are LOST! So many questions, so much information coming at them from friends at school, the internet etc. Watching this show together will give them instant access to ask you questions about concepts they have never heard or don’t understand. It will also allow you to ask them questions you might otherwise be embarrassed to ask. (It’s ok to be embarrassed, and it’s more ok to ask the embarrassing questions).

If this show is too much for you or you think too much for your tween, then stick with my first suggestion of incorporating the media around you. It’s almost 2018 the topics of Sex and Health are more and more prevalent in mainstream media. Use it to start conversations and questions. Don’t let their laissez-faire attitude tell you they don’t have burning questions inside because they do!

As usual, I am always a short message away from answering any of your questions. Find me on Instagram, Twitter or Google+.  Just search krizpatrick!

Author: Patrick Kriz- BA, Psych (HON)- Human Sexuality



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