You Are What You Underwear!

Boxers/Granny Panties

If you’re the type of person who chose to put this atrocious piece of fabric over your most intimate bits, you my friend are asking for cuddles from your pillow. Your choice of undergarment is a clear indication of how you’ve given up on yourself as a sexual being. You don’t see yourself as sexy, nor do you want to be seen as sexy by anyone else. Please think of the paramedic or hospital staff that have to cut your pants away if you are (Heaven Forbid) in an accident of some kind. They deserve some eye candy on their 12- 14-hour shift. Forget the skinny jeans, no chance of squishing all that fabric into them. If you are wearing boxers or granny panties it is a good idea to read up on how body image and self esteem impacts mental health.

Briefs/Thong

Coolflex Tagless Brief Image
Image: Coolflex Tagless Brief

To be blunt, you’re a bad ass with clear intentions. You’ve put on this pair of underwear that so perfectly draws attention to your smooth curve line body. You want eyes on you as you undress. You’re not ready to meet someone’s parents, but you are ready to let someone get to know you, for a brief period! If this is your everyday underwear, you’re most likely the leader of your group, confident and sure, always ready for a good time.

(Men’s Thongs- DONT DO IT! It’s just wrong unless you’re modelling for a fitness competition.)

Boxer Briefs

Andrew Christian BLOW! Boxer Image
Buy Now | Andrew Christian Mens Designer Underwear Store

You are a true blue loyal kind of person. The one all your friends turn to for help or advice. You never let anyone down. You live a carefree yet very responsible life. Forget the little things, you’re in control. Forget dating games and the “Chase” you want meaning and depth. None of this 3 am booty call or the back room of some dive bar for you. Always a lover, not a fighter. But just because your choice of underwear is relaxed doesn’t mean the sex will be. Watch out, when this relaxed underwear comes off the wild tamed beast is unleashed!

Trunks/Bikini

Envy Micro LowRise Logo Elastic Trunk Black Image
Image: Envy Micro LowRise Logo Elastic Trunk Black

You sit between style and comfort. Most likely you work a solid 9-5 every day and want to be comfortable but ready for after work drinks that just might lead elsewhere. Your job is not your dream, you’re always dreaming of being elsewhere. It’s not that you’re a lazy person, it’s that you have bigger aspirations than the mundane life you are accustomed to. You’ll probably never quite your 9-5 job and move to that tropical dreamland, you’re just too comfortable. Change is unsettling, but you won’t stop dreaming or bigger and better things.

Tighty Whities/Boy Shorts

Tighty Whities And Grey Boy Shorts Image
Image: Tighty Whities And Boy Shorts

​Taking it back to a simpler time, when very few people saw your undergarments. You’re still living in your childhood. You’ve never left that high school gym class. You’re afraid to step outside of your shell and be the person you want to be. You think because a very very small group of people think this underwear is sexy that it’s perfect for you. You think it says you’re above caring what others might think of you, but it just screams of a child trapped in an adults body to afraid to develop a sense of self.

Jockstrap/G-String

Coolflex Arrow Jock And Fence Galoon Thong Image
Image: Coolflex Arrow Jock And Fence Galoon Thong

​Wearing these it’s very clear you enjoy the company of men. They can also help to raise your body image and self-esteem.

You have moved past the wanting to look sexy for others. Everything in your life is hyper sexual and it’s empowering. You know how sexy you are and want to dress for you. You enjoy the sexy feeling in your skimpiest underwear. This is not just your “special occasion” underwear. You’re more than proud wearing this to the grocery store. You exude confidence and are the life of every event. You’ll try anything twice and never back down from a dare. Not because you have something to prove, but because why not?

Commando

Painting Of Man And Woman With No Underwear
Image: Painting Of Man And Woman With No Underwear

If you regularly go commando, you’re the person who thinks because you read in Cosmo or Maxim magazine in the 00’s that it’s healthy for your bits to get some air. You’ve thrown hygiene out the window. If we went into your house I’d bet the smell of last Friday night still lingers. Your fridge has a potentially out dated milk and a few condiment bottles. Your supplement and vitamin game are probably strong because you think that’s the key to a healthy life.

I can only hope you’re doing this because your house caught fire? Maybe going to or from the gym? Even then, no! Unless your intention is to show off that VPL (If you have a P)? If so please show away!

Whatever your underwear choice is, wear it with pride. You’ll never be judged for your choice with us.

Check out the amazing collections we carry at an Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres nearest to you or at a trusted online sex toy store. We have all your favourite brands in all styles, we might even have something you’ve never tried so give it a chance!

About the author: KrizPatrick BA(Hon) Psychology- Human SexualitySave

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Patrick Kriz has a Bachelor Degree (Honours) in Psychology – Human Sexuality. Patrick is a wonderful man that has a wealth of knowledge and is happy to share this with those around him. He is articulate, educated and the provider or interesting and educational writings.

Having been a regular contributor to this blog for the past couple of months he has consented to add his profile to our ever expanding list of bloggers that provide us with the great content provided to you. We thank all our contributors and authors and a special thanks to Patrick whom we deem to be an expert on all things relating to sexual wellness and adult lifestyle with quality writings. Be sure to follow Patrick on Instagram.

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