Marie Rebelle is a sex blogger who founded Rebel’s Notes and an author who openly and honestly explores her escapades and shares them to the world. Marie has published books including:
- Flight LU-365: Flight LU-365 shares the background stories of the flight passenger’s adventures in love and lust.
- Tie Me Up: Tie Me Up is a binding collection of erotic tales which explores the world of BDSM.
- Identity: Identity is an Eroticon anthology that talks about the personal stories of 26 different bloggers, sex writers and erotic fiction authors.
- The Big Book of Submission: 69 Kinky Tales is a collection of 69 short stories that range from straining in bondage, taking a spanking or being put on display.
- South Bank Seduction: An anthology of stories of delegates that attended the sex bloggers conference, Eroticon, in 2013.
Tell me about yourself?
I was born in the conservative South Africa, 50 years ago, where I went to school, to university and was married for the first time. I emigrated to Europe when I was almost 30, where I met my second husband but the marriage lasted only 4 years. In 2002 I met the love of my life, who I married in 2005 and I am still very much in love.
I am a hard worker and I love people. At the same time, despite loving people, I don’t like crowds and I can be quite shy. I have to feel at ease with a group of people around me before I can totally be myself. I second-guess myself frequently. I have a high productivity and when I put my mind to it, I can make a success of things, like I think I have proven with my blog, and all projects I have around it.
Besides my blog, Rebel’s Notes, I also run a Dutch group for erotic writers, where I also organize a writing marathon, which has been running for the fourth consecutive year.
In my personal life I am a wife, a mom of three adult children and a grandmother of two beautiful boys. I also see myself as ‘head’ of the family, the one who is supposed to have the wisdom, as my mom sadly passed away in July 2017.
When you were younger did you ever think that you would be someone who would openly share their thoughts on sexuality for the world to see? Did you have a different thinking pattern? What moments in your life encouraged you to express your sexual lifestyle?
I grew up in a conservative community and a conservative family. Sex wasn’t something that was openly talked about, but there was enough to go around. I caught my parents having sex one night and saw nude images of my mom when I was 10, as well as the nude posters my dad had in his closet. It was in the same period that I was abused by a house friend, something I never experienced as a trauma.
Back then, and later when I had some interesting sexual experiences, I never consciously thought about writing about sex. I was about 14 when I wrote my first novel – entirely handwritten as we didn’t have computers back then – and it had a bit of eroticism in it, as much as a 14-year-old dares to put in writing. In my early twenties, I wrote some erotic stories, but never knew what to do with it.
Coming to live in the Netherlands was one thing that started changing my thinking pattern. Where in South Africa I always felt like I didn’t fit in, that I was the odd one out, I didn’t feel like that in this little country. People accepted me like I am. It was an eye-opener, but still it took some years to get to the point where I started a blog. My thinking pattern didn’t change from one day to the other. It was a process I went through. A process where I had to start accepting that I am a sexually expressive woman and that I want to tell the world about it. It started by posting images of myself, but deep in my heart I am a writer and I wanted to put words to paper. Or, on the screen, because I wanted to be read.
I started Rebel’s Notes in January 2010, put two stories on it and then left it at that until September of the same year. It was then I realized what I missed – readers. I wanted readers, but I didn’t know how to get them. I posted more on my blog, images too, but still had no readers. The next step was to search the Internet for other erotic blogs. I found some and then discovered Twitter. This was a turning point. I started promoting Rebel’s Notes and as they say, the rest is history.
What does sex mean to you? What do you love most about talking about sex?
Sex is a way to connect, to express myself.
Expressing myself can either happen physically, when I have sex with my husband or one of the men my husband has allowed into our life, or it can happen on the screen, in words or image. I love talking about my sex life – the good and the bad – because I believe that my words can help others out there. Any problems I might have are definitely not unique. Others out there might have them too and by writing about them, I might just be able to help someone with their way of thinking about themselves, in a positive way. Also, talking about sex feeds my exhibitionist nature, but more about that later.
How did you learn you were a submissive? What does it feel like to be a submissive?
I actually never ‘learned’ that I was submissive. You see, it is an inherent part of my personality. I only learned that there was a name for it, back in 2011. Before that it was just who I was. I never questioned it, never wondered if I was different from others. I knew I was different, but it didn’t bother me. It was just who I was.
Because it is so much part of who I am, it is difficult to tell you how it feels to be submissive. What I can tell you is that it is liberating to be able to be me, to be accepted for who I am, whether I am the strong leader at work or the strong woman kneeling in front of my husband. Once I knew that there was a name for the feelings that came to me so naturally, I read more about submissives and dominants. The recognition was immense. I wanted to learn more, wanted to experience more, wanted to be an ‘active’ submissive, within the boundaries of our relationship.
How would you encourage other women or men to be more accepting of who they are, their bodies and sexuality?
This is difficult. I myself had problems with my body and my (bi)sexuality. I accepted my sexuality a lot quicker than I did my body. Even though I was told over and over again that I am beautiful just the way I am, acceptance gradually came with age.
I believe the only way to encourage other people is to keep on talking about it. Being more accepting of oneself is something that needs to come from inside. It’s a process, and positive vibes from outside definitely helps.
What is it like being an exhibitionist? Are you a nudist as well? How does it make you feel that there are photo’s posted on porn sites of you?
I am an exhibitionist, but at the same time I am shy. I will never show myself in to people who might not want to be confronted with a naked someone, but I do tend to wear short or low-cut dresses to show off my legs or my cleavage. There was a time when this made me feel self-conscious, but it has become a natural part of me. One place where my exhibitionist nature flourishes is in places where it is accepted to be nude, such as on a nude beach or at the spa. I frequently go to the latter and I really don’t mind being looked at. In fact, I want to be looked at, want them to notice my nakedness – men and women.
There was a time when knowing that others look at my nudity on the Internet, made me feel self-conscious and any negatively-sounding comment would leave me feeling uneasy. However, since I have started my own website and posted images there, things have changed. The sex-blogging community is wonderfully supportive and the comments I get are uplifting and always positive. Not once have I received a negative comment. Knowing that my photos are enjoyed is quite exciting, in more ways than one.
Have you ever been curious about the secret sex life of a person behind closed doors?
Oh yes! I look at people around me and wonder what their sex lives are like. Who’s the dominant one, even if they are not in a power-exchange relationship? Do they try several different positions or is missionary their preference? Is their sex life a pure ‘necessity’ or do they really love sex; love to be intimate with each other? Do they have sex toys? Do they have sex with people outside their relationship? Do they visit swing clubs?
When I sit at a restaurant, I look at the people around me, how they interact with each other, if they talk, if they make eye contact, if they seem to distance themselves from each other. Watching them, my mind creates stories about them, about their sex lives, their love, or lack of it.
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What do you love about wearing butt plugs and nipple charms?
It’s been quite long ago that I have last worn any nipple charms. There was a time when I wore them every day. They made me feel sexy, made me feel as if my nipples were on display all the time; like everyone could see I was wearing nipple charms. It fed my exhibitionism, knowing what I did about the charms under my clothes and hoping – deeply longing – that someone might notice.
Where nipple charms seem to fuel my exhibitionist nature, wearing butt plugs definitely feeds the submissive part of me. I love anal stimulation, and only for that I would wear a butt plug every day. However, I will never wear a plug off my own accord. I only wear them when my husband decides that I should. He orders me to wear it, whether it’s for an hour, a day, a night, at home or while running errands.
Tell me about your books and blogs? What is it like being an author and a blogger?
It’s fun! It’s hard work!
I have been published in several anthologies and my debut novel was published in 2016. I started my blog in January 2010 but it was only towards the end of 2010 that I knew in which direction I wanted to take it and when I started blogging in all earnest. Being an author and being a blogger is just like having a regular job, but then a bit different. It is hard work. I cannot concentrate only on my blog, because then I will never get to write my second novel. I cannot concentrate only on my novel, as I will lose all readers on my blog, I have to keep a balance between the two, and then balance that with my family and my paid job. I am not making much money with my writing at the moment, but hope to change things in 2018.
What do you enjoy about writing? What is your writing process like?
What I enjoy the most is to have a blank screen in front of me and an idea in my head. I start writing and sometimes the story turns out more or less like I had it in my head. Other times it has unexpected twists and turns and never gets to the ending I thought it would. I love that my characters can seem to live a life of their own.
My writing process is nothing more than that. I have an idea, I sit down and I write. This is with shorter stories. When a story has several chapters, like when I work on a novel, I make an outline of each chapter – just an idea and a couple of keywords – before I start writing. I never edit during writing. I write from beginning to end and only then read it again and start editing. The longer the story, the more times I edit. Before my novel was published in 2016, I edited it a total of nine times.
What articles would you recommend people read from your blog?
I have several stories that ran for quite some week, such as the two I have written with a close friend, Katie & Steve and The Instructor. Stories that turned out totally different from what I had in mind when I started writing, are:
There’s a lot to be found on my website Rebel’s Notes Erotic Fiction, as I have written my fair share of fiction and stories about real sexual encounters over the past years.
What are your favourite moments in your career as an author and a blogger?
Highlights were our visits to England, attending Eroticon, meeting other writers and bloggers and like-minded people. Another wonderful moment was when I started my Dutch writing group and met other erotic authors, giving them a platform to show and discuss their work.
Of course, having my stories published were great moments too, as is each and every comment I receive on my blog, whether it’s for my writing or a comment on an image.
Are there any new projects you are working on?
Yes! I have recently started a new website – Smut Marathon – and in 2018 I will run this competition – a writing marathon – for the first time. It’s a competition that goes on for 10 rounds and as the marathon progresses, people are eliminated from the race. It’s a marathon for the writers, the readers, the jury and for me, organizing things behind the scene. I have run a Dutch writing marathon for 4 years now and am using all experience I have gained with that to make the Smut Marathon a huge success! Let’s hope my dream comes true!
I have been blogging for close to 8 years now, and I hope for at least another 8 successful blogging years. I am not ready to stop yet!
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