What Are The True Expectation Of Love?
Love is a variety of different emotional and mental states that range from the deepest interpersonal affection to a simple pleasure. Being loved and appreciated brings that feeling of being someone special. In a checklist of life, it stands out to be a significant checkpoint for some people. It is an important milestone in order to have a blissful and successful life.
Expectation Of Love
When we look around, we have a feeling that everyone is being loved by someone. It makes us wish to have what everyone else has, especially for love. We see in media, couples in relationships exchanging words like;
“I love you sweetheart”,
“I love you honey”,
“I love you baby”
and other similar phrases. Won’t having that love surely make us cheerful? But does it?
When a husband forgets his wife’s birthday, she thinks his love has diminished. If he doesn’t pay attention to her new hairdo, or doesn’t compliment her new attire, she has doubts about his love for her. Having long conversations on the phone with an office colleague brings horizontal lines on her husband’s forehead. Her omnipresence on social sites may have an adverse impression on his mind. The words:
“He loves me, he loves me not.”
“She loves me, she loves me not.”
These words are a constant turmoil going on in the mind.
Love: Beyond Checkpoints and Commodities
In a world where love often morphs into a mere checkpoint or a tick box, its essence dwindles. Imagine treating love as if it were an item on your shopping list, a mere possession or a status symbol to flaunt. This approach turns love into a commodity, stripping it of its authenticity and depth.
When love is commodified, it becomes a breeding ground for deceit. People start to crave genuine, unconditional love—pure and untainted. They yearn for love as if it were a dividend from an investment, expecting returns akin to interest from bank deposits or bonuses on their salary.
This transaction is far from genuine. Envision looking for love as if shopping for the latest smartphone,. With it, a checklist demanding a three-year warranty, unbreakable glass, the newest operating system, and an extensive list of features. And naturally, it must operate without a glitch.
Such seekers of perfect, unconditional love often find themselves engulfed in sadness. Eventually waking up to tears, puzzled by their solitude.
Love Transcends the Superficial
Love, in its true form, is not a checkpoint or a checkbox. People are not objects to be acquired or traded. They are living, breathing beings, with hearts and minds capable of deep connections.
Love transcends the superficial, reaching into the depths of human experience. It’s about seeing and valuing each other beyond the material, recognizing the inherent worth and beauty in each person. Love, in its purest form, is an exchange of understanding, care, and mutual respect. Let’s remember to cherish it as such.
Treating it as merchandise certainly kills the desire, the wish, and the expectations of real love.
What Is True And Real Love?
Real love is a labor. A pledge, an effort, and a commitment. The same way as we do our job.
Do we stick our business card on our forehead to announce who we are, just to tell people our title and designation?
No. Love is not a showpiece either. It is an investment made day by day. Every day deeply caring for the other person. That is why love is hard to get. Good people cannot be chosen like it is a game of musical chairs. Good people are the privilege to have on your list. Treat them with respect. Reciprocate their feelings.
We reap as we sow! Getting what we give, and that includes treating other people honestly, with poise and esteem. This is what we wish for.
“What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.“
This is what Don Juan had said.
Love, a timeless and universal emotion, has fascinated humans across cultures and epochs. Its transformation reflects society’s changing values and philosophies, illustrating a rich tapestry of human connection.
Historical Perspectives on Love
Ancient Philosophies: The Greeks categorized love into forms like ‘agape’ and ‘eros,’ while Eastern traditions emphasized spiritual unity. These foundations laid the groundwork for understanding love’s multifaceted nature.
Medieval and Renaissance Love: The era of courtly love romanticized chivalry and devotion, influencing European literature and society profoundly.
From Enlightenment to Romanticism: Love began to embody personal choice, intertwining with ideals of freedom and individualism, marking a departure from arranged unions.
Modern Psychology: Today, love encompasses a spectrum from attachment theories to the chemistry of affection, enriching our comprehension of human bonds.
Impact of Media and Culture
The narratives we consume from books, films, to tweets, significantly mold our perceptions of love. While Bollywood stories champion grand gestures, Western media often explores the nuances of relationships, showcasing the vast cultural interpretations of love.
Shift from Survival to Emotional Fulfillment
Early Societies: Initially, partnerships were strategic for survival, focusing on lineage and resource sharing.
Romantic Era to Present: The narrative shifted towards finding a soulmate for emotional depth and personal fulfillment, reflecting modern society’s valorization of individual happiness in love.
Theories of Love
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
Love, complex and multifaceted, comes alive under Sternberg’s lens. Intimacy, passion, and commitment form its pillars, each essential for the love types we experience. From fleeting crushes to deep, enduring connections, Sternberg’s theory offers a map for understanding the heart’s journey.
Attachment Theories
Our earliest bonds shape how we love. Attachment theory explains this, linking our adult relationships to childhood experiences. Secure, anxious, or avoidant, our attachment style influences our approach to love, pushing us toward growth or echoing past fears.
The Biochemistry of Love
Love transcends mere emotions, anchored deeply in our biology. Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin play key roles, crafting the exhilaration of new love and the deep warmth of long-term bonds. This biochemical perspective offers a glimpse into love’s potent physical power.
Love, Lust, and Infatuation
Distinguishing love from lust and infatuation can be perplexing. Love is deep, fostering connection and growth. Lust is physical, driven by desire. Infatuation, meanwhile, is an intense but fleeting admiration, often without a deep emotional foundation. Understanding these differences is crucial for navigating the complexities of the heart.
Modern Relationship Challenges
Long-Distance Love
Distance tests love, transforming absence into a proving ground for trust and commitment. Technology bridges the gap, but it’s the heart’s resilience that truly keeps distant lovers connected.
Blending Cultures
Love knows no borders, but cultural differences challenge couples to find harmony in diversity. Embracing each other’s backgrounds, couples create a rich, shared narrative, celebrating unity in diversity.
Balancing Careers
Today’s fast-paced world demands much, often putting love on the back burner. Successful couples navigate this by prioritizing each other, ensuring their relationship thrives amid career ambitions.
Accepting Imperfection
The Role of Forgiveness and Growth
Love flourishes not in perfection, but in the grace of forgiveness and the courage to grow. Embracing imperfections strengthens bonds, transforming challenges into stepping stones for deeper connection.
Dealing with Conflict
Conflict, inevitable in any relationship, tests love’s durability. Healthy resolution strategies—like open communication and empathy—foster understanding. Recognizing when to seek external help is equally vital, ensuring love’s resilience against life’s tumults.
Love, in its essence, is a journey of understanding, growth, and resilience. From the foundational theories that explain its complexities to navigating modern challenges. We must embrace imperfection, love remains humanity’s most profound connection.
Welcome Dr. Satish Bendigiri adultsmart expert! With a rich academic and corporate background, he passionately explores love, marriage, and growth in his articles.