Attending a Munch (Kinky social gathering in a Vanilla setting)

Your first munch – Attending A Munch


For those who have ever wondered or wanted to know more about the Sydney scene, but were a little nervous to start off, I get it. It can be a little daunting and overwhelming. You have flirted with the idea, seen the pictures, heard the stories, browsed the aisles and sections at OhZone or on Adultsmart and talked shop with our lovely sales assistants. You may even have an account on Fetlife.


So perhaps the next step is attending a Munch. Whether you go with a friend or go on your own is up to you. If you have never been before, click attending on Fetlife or Facebook and maybe shoot the organiser a quick message, introducing yourself and saying that this is your first munch.


So what is a munch?


A munch is a gathering of kinky people in a very open, very vanilla setting without the pressure of play, or BDSM. It usually takes place in bars, pubs or venues such as restaurants. People dress in everyday attire that they feel comfortable and can attend for the whole event, for a couple of hours, or for a small amount of time just to see what it’s like.


The organisers usually post rules for the events on the event pages but will adhere to the basics of; consent is key, any untoward behaviour will be asked to leave, this is a safe space, this is an open and diverse space where everyone is welcome.


Some Munches will be more specific, Gamer Munches (for kinksters who also enjoy tabletop games), Under 35 munches (for kinksters who are 35 years and under), Newbie Munches (for Kinkster who are generally new to the scene etc.)


Though it has been a while since I regularly used to attend. I still know of Munches to be a wondrous space for those starting out, and those who have been around the scene for a bit longer.


What to expect:


After letting the organiser know that you will be attending, they will probably let you know that you are most welcome and if you have any questions to let them know. They are wonderful and friendly humans, that’s why they have taken it upon themselves to organise these events. Many of them will also have the option that if you are new and have never been to a munch before and are nervous about coming in by yourself that you can message them and they will walk you in and make some introductions. This can be quite wonderful for those who are easily overwhelmed by the idea of going in alone but would really like to attend.


Most of the time, munches are located somewhere where there is a bar, so fix yourself a drink, whether it is made of liquid courage or sparkling water and take in your surroundings. There are bound to be many faces there. If you don’t feel like talking, you are within your rights to say, I’m not ready to talk yet. Or I’m just easing in. It will help to tell people that this is your first munch.


If you feel more comfortable sitting in one spot, do so. People will probably come up to you and ask if they can sit with you and say hi. Or you might try saying hi to a few new faces yourself. Ask people if they have been to munches before. You don’t need to talk about your kinks or preferences, you can talk about what you do for work, or if you do want, you can talk about how you or the people you are chatting with got into kink. If someone says, I’m not comfortable, respect that, if someone asks you something and you aren’t comfortable, say so. This is a safe space.


These are not hunting grounds. They are definitely not intended to be so. Occasionally some people may attend with the notion that that’s what they are, or that it will be easier to find a partner, a one night stand or a hookup. But these are not what these events are intended as. They are to make friends, to network, to find like minded people and to give you the ability to feel included and feel like you are accepted in all your wondrous preferences, shapes, forms. A place for you to feel like you belong, for you to feel that you can become who you are.


Judgment free.


Ask our Wonderful Sales Staff if they know of any munches in the nearby areas or in Sydney that you can explore.


At your Service,



Oh Zone Sales Consultant, Educator, Friend of Munches.

%d bloggers like this: