Insecurities can be a mountain of problems over time, and these problems are basically a form of mental junk. While it’s never going to be possible to entirely escape being insecure in some situations, it’s crucial to get a handle on the when, the where, and the how of your insecurities. It’s also important to remember that any insecurity you may have is going to come down to fear. Fear is an enemy that requires a unique approach to fighting it.
Fear in your interpersonal relationships can come from a lot of different places. On the one hand, you don’t want to end up alone when you really love the person you’re with. You may be afraid of being alone, just in general. You may even be afraid of a form of impostor syndrome where a relationship is something that’s beyond what you’re capable or worthy of maintaining. In any of these cases, you have to do a lot of inner work to improve your way out of the junk pile.
Knowing the Problem’s Origins
At some point in your early childhood, you were quite literally afraid for your life. While this might sound dramatic, it’s important to remember that for the first few years of a person’s life, they are entirely at the mercy of their caretakers. If the caretakers are angry, the child spends a lot of time knowing instinctively that they could be physically abused, starved, even abandoned, and that they aren’t capable of taking care of themselves. In a perfect world, this would never happen, but this isn’t a perfect world, and parents are only human.
The origins of anxieties, stressors, and such are just small reminders of a long consciously forgotten fear that came long before you had the physical strength, perspective, and ability to trust yourself that you can now count on as an adult. This fear bypasses everything you’ve built up over the decades, and goes straight into mortal fear. While this may not present itself as heart palpitations, you can tell when you’re afraid, but you aren’t sure why.
Honesty and Breaking the Cycle
The bad news about insecurities is that it’s never going to be possible to tell what sets them off with any certainty. There are too many tiny gestures, there are too much background noises and stimuli, and there are just too many variables to try and sort them all out. You’re going to have your insecurities for life, at least to an extent. The good news is you can ease them to the extent that they will no longer set you off or hinder your relationships.
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Sometimes all it takes is a little thing to make you feel better. A compliment from one of your work colleagues, going out and seeing something that makes you feel good or just spending the day looking after yourself. Many women find having hair and make-up done therapeutic and there is none better than Nicole Hudson at Cronulla.
If you have managed to improve yourself after filtering through all the junk how about Beating Some of the Biggest Insecurities.
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