Audio Porn Cumming To Headphones Near You

Man listening to audio porn

The relationship between porn and sex is often looked at and explored through our interactions and the effects that they have on each other. But what’s not often looked at is the senses that each engage. By this I mean that sex, for the most part, relies on the sense of touch with the consumption of porn more relying on the visual and aural senses. This presents some interesting insights into our interaction with sex, and also allows us to examine something that is actually quite popular, but rarely spoken of – audio porn.

Contrary to what you might think – audio porn isn’t just porn for the visually impaired, but it’s a type of pornography that relies on the engagement of different senses in comparison to regular porn and sex. Audio pornography is pretty much, exactly what it sounds like though it can come in several different types. It is audio that people have recorded during sexual activity and directly involves the sounds of sex, or it could involve people talking dirty/narrating their own sexual fantasy, or it could be an individually orally explaining what is going on in a scene. It’s surprisingly popular with dedicated Tumblr blogs, websites, reddit posts and an army of fans. So what is it about audio porn that makes it so different?

For one thing it’s engaging different senses, and forcing you to rely on a single sense. When you’re watching visual porn on the screen your brain is often receiving information from a variety of different sources, meaning that it can’t concentrate on any one thing. While you might be focused on a single point or aspect, your peripheral vision and hearing is still engaged in everything around that point as well as additional information which your brain is desperately trying to process and focus on. It means that whilst you might think that you’re focused on an individual thing, the reality is that your brain is still processing all the other information along with it as background/white noise. With audio porn, your brain is focusing on a single point, especially if you’re wearing headphones you only have a voice and/or sexual sounds and that’s it. There’s no other distractions allowing you, as a listener and engager, to remain absolutely focused on the audio.

Why is audio porn so popular?

Porn has many benefits but when it comes to audio porn perhaps it’s the specific focus on a sense, or perhaps it’s about the idea that with audio erotica, you have the ability to form your own mental image of what’s happening. With this in mind, and based on your own sexual experiences and intimate contexts, you would use the audio to provide yourself with the most idealised image of the situation. You have much more freedom in mentally visualising the scene, without the perceived tediousness of reading. This mental image would probably result in a far better mental fit to your personal sexual tastes than anything that can be delivered to you visually. You’re in control of the porn as opposed to it being fed to you. Even in sex, we don’t often focus on the sound – instead often perceiving the sounds of sex to be awkward and distracting.

Audio porn and the autonomous sensory meridian response

There’s also the interesting phenomena of autonomous sensory meridian response which is an under studied and under researched situation. You can read more about that condition elsewhere as this it needs to have a dedicated article about it as opposed to a mere mention – but suffice to say the ASMR is a sensation that can certainly be achieved with audio porn, and it’s one that can extend intimacy without necessarily being overly sexual. Audio porn has the tendency to magnify the senses that it engages with, in a way that humanises the performer and ultimately creates a ‘tangible experience that photography and video can’t compete with’ states media professor Jacob Smith from Northwestern University.

Audio porn makes you feel more involved in the moment

Audio porn, depending on the situation is an almost voyeuristic engagement that actively involves the listener. You’re participating in a way, you’re not just staring mindlessly. I spent some time listening to audio porn of guys jerking off – and whereas normally I’d be focused on watching the stroking, the way his stomach jerked and pulsed, the size of his cock, his stroking style and a variety of other visual cues – I was instead forced on the sounds. I focused on the sounds of the lubricant against his hand and his breathing. I rose and fell with him.

Man orgasming to audio porn
Image: Man’s Orgasm Face

I felt as if I was directly responsible for the whispers and moans, it felt like he was right beside me. I felt like we were together as one in something far more intimate than watching him jerk off over a webcam. Audio porn bypasses one of the recurring gripes about visual porn in the sense that visual porn is so often formulaic, unimaginative and unrealistic. It’s often desensitising as you’re exposed to overt visual imagery and your brain becomes accustomed to the direct assault of stimulation on the senses. Fans of audio porn frequently comment on the realism of it, and like visual porn, you can pretty much find anything that turns you on. Whether it be age play, incest play or even just solo moaning, audio porn has something for everyone that wants to cast aside the visual and strip it back to the voyeuristic basics – so why not give it a listen to and see how your body responds?

Author: Stephen Smith – BA Of Social Sciences, M.Ed

Dr. Stacy, How Do I Pleasure Myself Without Sex Toys?

Woman asking questions about sexual wellness and health

This week Dr. Stacy Friedman a clinical sexologist and certified sex coach has partnered up with Adultsmart to answer two anonymous questions which were emailed in to askasexologist@gmail.com.

Question

I am a virgin but always so horny. I always need to pleasure myself but I am getting bored of the ways I can do it as I would love a get a little kinky however I am not able to purchase any sex toys as I don’t live alone!  Is this normal? Can you help me?

Woman orgasming
Image: Virgin

Dr. Stacy Friedman’s Answer

Seeing that I don’t know all of your details, age, history, etc, I can answer basically and say yes it is totally normal to have a high sex drive as people have all different drives and there isn’t one that is considered “normal”. Since you are a virgin, you may have some built up sexual urges that are wanting to come out so you may be more horny that some because of that.  Masturbation is a healthy, normal part of sexuality so there shouldn’t be any shame or concern if you are enjoying yourself unless it is to a point where it is affecting your work, relationships, and daily activities.

There are many ways to get kinky without women’s sex toys by using different positions to pleasure yourself.  Maybe get a small bottle of lube that you can put near your lotions so it is discreet. When you take a shower, use the showerhead and see if you can get a good feeling from that or lie in a tub and let the water from the faucet run between your legs.  There are also many small sex toys you can keep in your purse that are quiet and may even be disguised as a lipstick or a blush brush so if they were found, nobody would think twice.  There are discreet pillows that can hold and hide sex toys or even lock boxes made specifically for toys to keep in a closet or drawer that nobody can open.  You can also look at some videos on your phone of some light porn if you think of things that may turn you on to give you some more ideas or to use your imagination for next time.  Hope this helps and you see that even though you don’t live alone, there are plenty of ways to pleasure yourself without any large toys to be found!

Question

With the news that has been making headlines recently about the sexual assault allegations with Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Kesha Vs Dr Luke and the #Metoo campaign, I have found it hard to ignore memories of the bad experiences I had to face in my past. How do I manage the flachbacks I have been experiencing? What steps am I meant to take to begin coping with the sexual assault I have experienced?

#metoo sexual assault campaign
Image: Metoo Campaign

Dr. Stacy Friedman’s Answer

I am so sorry you have had to deal with any type of sexual harassment or assault as most of us women (and some men), myself included, have been through some kind of situation that sparks anxiety, frustration, and just bad feelings regarding a sexual action that was brought against us.  Being that I am a sexologist, not a sex therapist, I would highly suggest if you are having flashbacks and have never gotten any one on one therapy for the sexual assault that you have experienced, that you find a person near you that specializes in sexual trauma or abuse that maybe does EMDR to talk to.  My suggestion in the meantime until you find someone, is to do some yoga or breathing exercises that can keep you relaxed and find yourself a happy place in real life or in your mind that you can go to where it is safe and calm so you can be there while you breathe.  Know whatever happened was not your fault and you find a way to get to your inner strength, take a kickboxing class, karate class or something that makes you feel strong and do your best to move forward.  I hope you get the support you need and stay strong.

I Gave Up Clitoral Orgasms For 21 Days!

Woman engaging in solo masturbation

The clitoris is an amazing body part, its sole purpose for existing intended to make women feel good and provide them pleasure. I have spoken to many women and for the most part, compared with vaginal or cervical orgasms, clitoral orgasms are the most commonly experienced. For many women orgasms are easily attainable with vibrator stimulation or manual stimulation which are some of the main ways women reach a peak clitoral orgasm.

Diagram of the clitoris
Image: The Clitoris

If you are a woman and have experienced a clitoral orgasm, you may question why anyone would want to give them up. For numerous reasons, which I will attempt to explain, I decided to give myself a break from clitoral induced orgasms for three weeks. Sounds a little crazy however I received many benefits from this exploration that have changed the way I look at self-pleasuring and sex. Here is an insight into my experience:

A couple of weeks leading into the decision to avoid clitoral orgasms for 21 days, I had noticed some changes in the way I was self-pleasuring and having sex with my partner. Now for many people I am sure these changes would not have been anything too concerning however my area of personal growth centres around my sexuality and sexual energy so for the most part, I have a clear awareness in regards to changes in myself sexually.

Sex was beginning to become goal oriented, with an orgasm the main focus during my love making sessions with my man. This seemed to be some old patterns and ways of being that were resurfacing which I was finding frustrating. I found myself not being completely present and embodied during my experiences being intimate with him, which ultimately took away from the connection we share. It is also an interesting thing to know that whilst I was focused on an orgasm, which at the time seemed like the ultimate in pleasure, I was actually missing out on a copious amount of pleasure. Seeking takes us out of our bodies and into our minds which is where we spend way too much time to begin with. In my orgasm reaching state, I knew that I was denying myself from feeling a great amount of pleasure which is naturally occurring when I am present in my body and with my partner.

The existence of sex addiction is a highly debatable notion, with some individuals claiming addiction to sex is not viable. From my personal perspective and from the research I have read, you can absolutely be addicted to sex-in fact you can be addicted to anything! Addiction is the continuous completion of a certain behaviour which comes from a compulsion rather than a conscious decision. The reasons behind this can be vast, with avoidance of certain emotions and fear of the unknown being some triggers for addictive behaviours. Leading up to my 21-day clitoral-orgasm free period, I had been having experiences with self-pleasuring where having clitoral orgasms was done in an addictive manner. I was using them as a way of escaping certain emotions, with a mindlessness and lack of consciousness followed by guilt and shame some of my personal indicators that the way I was self-pleasuring was becoming unhealthy. It was becoming an escape rather than a beautiful self-loving experience hence why I decided to go a time without them.

My experience was very interesting, with some pretty low points in the first few days. I felt a fogginess and lack of clarity up until about day 5, with low libido and irritability some of the accompanying side effects to my lack of orgasms. Going without clitoral orgasms meant that I was not having any orgasms as I had become extremely dependant on clitoral stimulation to achieve climax. This brought about feelings of frustration and annoyance. I would get bored quite early on during sex with my partner when I remembered that sex was off the cards, with a 20-minute session the most I could handle the first few days. I couldn’t even bring myself to masturbate for the first week as I didn’t trust myself enough to not go to my clitoris to reach orgasm.

Couples engaging in tantric sex
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The doom and gloom did not stay for long, and as the days went on, I started to notice a growing sensitivity when having sex with my partner. I was feeling more pleasure in my vagina from penetration alone, with the lack of clitoral stimulation meaning I could focus more on those sensations rather than being distracted by the more intense feelings from the clitoris. This meant I was able to experience vaginal orgasms for the first time in a long time which were extremely pleasurable and definitely worth the wait! Taking away clitoral orgasms also meant that without a goal to get somewhere, I could fully relax into the experience with my man without being distracted by the “end result” of what we were doing. We could connect on a deeper level from a place of just enjoying being close with each other for the hell of it. No expectations, no goal, no having to get somewhere-just pure pleasure, love and fun.

Don’t get me wrong, there was certainly times when I was frustrated that I could not have a peak orgasm. This 21 days however reminded me that sex and self-pleasuring is not some task to complete, it is not something to check off our to do list. Sex and self-pleasuring is a beautiful opportunity to drop in and enjoy feeling close to ourselves or another person. I don’t know if I will go to the full extent of taking away clitoral orgasms for 21-days again but I do know that I am committed to maintaining an awareness of how I am self-pleasuring and having sex so that I can keep expanding into depths of greater pleasure, connection and joy with myself and my partner.  To make things even more interesting, did you know that there are 6 different types of female orgasms?

Le clitoris – Animated Documentary (2016) by Lori Malépart-Traversy:

Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA Nursing

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Master Slowing Things Down With Roaring Hot Tantra

Couple Kissing Intimately With Tantra

Recently whilst completing an intensive for my studies in sexology, I heard an elaborate sexual dysfunction called an Idiosyncratic Masturbatory Response which instantly grabbed my attention.

An idiosyncratic masturbatory response refers to an individual having a particular way of masturbating and reaching orgasm that cannot be replicated during intimate experiences with a partner. This has the potential to cause difficulties in a relationship or when being intimate with others as many people enjoy the experience of reaching orgasmic states with another person.

After doing a bit of research, I came across countless articles describing “the death grip” where men become so conditioned to receive hard and strong self-penile stimulation (usually whilst watching pornography) that they find it difficult to feel aroused when having penetrative or oral sex with a partner.

I know that it’s not just men that experience this need for strong stimulation. As a woman, I used to approach self-pleasuring in a way that did not honour my body. It was an experience that was often filled with shame & guilt that I just wanted it over with as quick as possible (I believe this has a lot to do with the fact that masturbation is seldom spoken of in mainstream sex education but that’s another article of itself!!) This hard and fast approach can result in difficulties reaching orgasm with a partner which can cause feelings of frustration and decreased desire for sex with your partner.

There is such a strong culture of seeking heightened orgasmic states in our society that the subtleties of being intimate with another human being go unnoticed. People become so fixated on the peak-the orgasm-the grand finale- that everything that happens beforehand is not fully experienced in its totality.

The beauty and pleasure from the softest touch, the sensations in our body when your lover looks at you, the fullness from feeling them in complete stillness inside us as we make love is all lost when we approach being intimate with them full of expectations of “achieving” orgasm. This is where Tantra comes in…

Many people are curious of what Tantra is and what Tantric sex looks like. Tantra is a complex philosophy however when I speak of Tantric sex, I mean a sexual experience where each moment and sensation is experienced in its totality with no expectations of getting anywhere or reaching anything. Tantra teaches us that a world of pleasure is accessible to us in the smallest of intimate experiences if we so choose to become attuned to the subtleties.

There are many ways to slow down and bring greater pleasure and presence into your sex life, with one’s own self-loving practice a perfect place to start. Bringing a level of conscious intention into your self-pleasuring and dedicating time to yourself with no intent other than to love yourself up can be a beautifully healing and pleasurable experience. Lighting some candles, having a relaxing hot bath and massaging your whole body with some gorgeous oils prior to any genital stimulation can really help eradicate that orgasm goal and teach you to slow down with your own body so that you can access more sensation and pleasure (A sexual health product available from Wildfire is All Over Pleasure Oil which is my personal favourite).

Wildfire Pleasure Oil Black Photo
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When men and women are used to hard and fast stimulation, having slow and gentle sex can bring up a lot of intense emotion. Frustration, anger, sadness, numbness and boredom can all arise when we begin to slow down and fully feel. It is not usual to be in touch with slight sensations and it can take some time for our bodies and minds to drop in and notice them. It is perfectly normal to feel the full spectrum of emotions when doing something that we are not used and often many of us have never tried slowing it down in the bedroom so be kind to yourself and your partner.

Naked Couple Having Public SexPhoto: Couple Having Tantric Sex

I highly encourage people to step away, if only on special occasions, from a hard and fast approach to sex, into an experience of love and connection with their partner. This could include eye gazing, breathing together, cuddling, kissing or extended foreplay-the key being that this will bring you into complete presence with your partner. Just remember, it is easy to get caught up in our minds when slowing it down so if this happens, practice mindfulness and come back to feeling sensation in your body.

Slowing down can take a personal and relational commitment, with open communication between partners extremely important to navigate any changes you both desire to make with your sex lives. It takes patience and being gentle with ourselves and our partner to make the transition from goal oriented sex to completely present intimacy however the magic that can be experienced when we do is completely worth it.

Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA NursingSave

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