The Do’s and Don’ts Of Group Sex

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Sexual fantasies involving multiple people are one of the most common fantasies for both men and women, it is also one of the reasons why people watch porn. I used to believe that only few people ever ventured into group sex territory and that it was a thing that happened behind closed doors at the end of a dark alley way guarded by vicious werewolves.  I am now a little older and wiser, my mind since expanding as to what is possible when it comes to participating in sexual experiences with multiple people all at the same time. I now realise it can occur in so many different ways and is extremely common. Just to paint a picture of the extent of group sex, here’s a few fun facts:

  • Cuckholding is defined as a man seeing his partner/wife having sex with another man. It is the second most commonly searched heterosexual internet porn categories worldwide.
  • An estimated 15 million Americans engaged in swinging in 2011 (That’s 4% of the population!!).
  • In Japan, Bukkake parties, where multiple men masturbate and ejaculate onto a woman, are held regularly, with establishments openly advertising these parties in very public places.

Through my experiences, I’ve realised that group sex can be challenging to negotiate either as a single person or when in a relationship. It is for this reason I am sharing some advice for group sex newbies and people looking to open to this wonderful and exciting field of possibilities.

Communication

If this is not present then challenging issues may arise. Communication needs to be open throughout any sexual experience and with more then two people involved, it is especially important that everyone involved feels comfortable communicating. If you can’t communicate with one partner, you’re going to struggle with more so I recommend having this down pat before experimenting with multiple people at once. There are some really important things to discuss prior to engaging in a group sexcapade that will mean a healthy and fulfilling experience.

  • Boundaries: What is not ok, what behaviours are you not willing to engage in, what are your limits? When this information is known, the people you are engaging with can feel more at ease knowing your limits and what is ok to do. Obviously, things can change throughout the experience and it is important that all people involved are empowered to speak up throughout.
  • Desires: Speaking your desires and voicing what turns you on can be a really juicy way of letting everyone involved know how best to pleasure you. It means that you get to receive exactly what turns you on

Sexual Health

Taking the right precautions to stay physically healthy is crucial and having more sexual partner’s means you’re at a greater risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections. In order to make sure that you’re safe when engaging in group sex, condoms are a must. This also means using a different condom for each partner. Getting tested for STI’s is important in order to keep everyone safe.

 

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Eliminate Expectations For It To Go A Certain Way

Like any sexual experience, trying to stick to a plan is a libido destroyer. Adult movies demonstrate threesomes, foursomes and moresomes in a way that is intended to entertain the viewer-it is not for educational purposes. So don’t be concerned if your experience doesn’t look the way you thought it might. Group sex, like any other sexual experience, can be messy and awkward at times. I mean, for a start, an extra set of limbs is guaranteed to make for some logistical concerns! I find that approaching group sex with a sense of playfulness without trying to get it “right” is a sure way of making it a memorable experience for all the right reasons.

Must Be An Authentic Mutual Desire Of All People Involved

No matter if it involves 3, 4 or 10 people, having all people on the same page is vital in order for the group experience to be enjoyable. If you are going along to fulfill your partners desires and they are not your own, issues are sure to arise. I can’t stress this enough, only partake if it is your own desire to do so!

Jealousy Is A Normal Emotion

Speaking to friends about polyamory and sex with multiple partners, I hear the same thing “I couldn’t do that, I would get too jealous.” Now maybe I am wrong here but I believe that no matter what kind of relationship you are in or what kind of experiences you partake in, jealousy is probably going to come up! It may be that you’re jealous because your boyfriend has an attractive work friend who he spends time with. Or it could be that you get jealous when you saw your girlfriend checking out the cute bartender. In fact you may experience either emotional jealousy or sexual jealousy, or maybe you’ll experience both at the same time. Often the stories we create to justify why we feel jealous are unfounded however it is a strong emotion that brings out very intense feelings which is why people avoid situations where it may be felt. My advice to you is to openly discuss these feelings and fears with your partner without projecting it on them or blaming them for your feelings. If facing is jealousy is completely out of the question then maybe group sex is not your cup of tea. However if you can see it for what it is-an emotion that will pass-and you’re prepared to possibly feel it then group sex may be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

Have Fun!!

I think the main point to remember when participating in group sex is that it should be an overall fun, pleasurable and playful experience that allows you to connect with different people. I have spoken to many people who swear that opening their relationship was the best thing they did. I understand it is not for everyone but any shame surrounding a mutual desire to participate in group sex in the context of a relationship needs to be eradicated. Also any single people looking to explore with multiple people should be proud of their willingness to explore the possibilities of this awesome activity

Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA NursingSave

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The Ideal Gay Orgy!

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An orgy is a big fantasy for many, many people. The orgy room in bathhouses has been the location for many fantasies that ultimately come true. So you want to know how to plan for the ideal gay orgy sex party. The first thing you need to know about planning and hosting an orgy is that this is work and not a game. Yeah, you get a hard on from looking at those hot pictures you receive, but it takes a lot of time to coordinate this type of event. While some orgies do happen spontaneously, this article deals with staged orgies with a specific guest list, pre-arranged scenes, and some agreed upon rules for participants.

The first thing you need to do, it get the word out and make the orgy known to people. There are several options on how to make this happen. Firstly you can put an advertisement out in a local queer paper, or simply advertise in on the wall of your local club.  If you have an extensive and trusted friend network you can put the word out on them and get them to invite some people. Or, you can add it on Facebook and create an event and limit who can and can’t come to your orgy.

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It is during this initial posting of messages that you must have a clear idea of the type of men you wish to attract. One of the reasons for a private orgy, as opposed to a group scene in a public sex club, is that you can narrow the criteria and choose specific types of men. Maybe you only want men who are into the bear back scene. Maybe you want water sports enthusiasts or bondage lovers and fetishists. If you are like me, what you want is fit in shape guys between 18 and 35. I find the specific age range to be a success. The older men lust after the young guys, but it is almost always the older men who have the experience and the balls, to keep a scene of going on. Young men are often very shy in a group setting and need a bit of a push to get going.

You need to learn to read between the lines when checking the several responses from men wanting to attend. Asking for photos can exclude men from coming to your orgy, but this is sometimes the appropriate thing to do and is actually not uncommon for swingers parties and sex parties. Ask for a photo and for a complete description. If a person is vague about something, assume they are hiding something. You need to be straight in responding and observing incomplete descriptions. After all, the advantage of communicating via email is that you or the person responding does not need to write back if they choose. It is routine for guys who don’t fit your criteria to make an attempt to get into the party. Make it clear to everyone and do not hesitate to turn anyone away at the door who has presented a fake identity.

It is an important step to complete your guest list properly. It is crucial that you select a balanced group of men both by age and desires. Another major factor is the various kinks and fetishes a person is into. To put it simply, make sure you have enough tops to please your bottoms and vica versa. It is nice if you can arrange your list in order to have some racial and ethnic diversity. Many men find people of other colors and backgrounds to be highly erotic.

Ensure that you provide some directions and put in place some rules. It is important to put some written rules before guests come. If someone doesn’t like the rules, they can simply decline to come. A well though-out list of rules can help make it clear that you take this party seriously. This helps you because then your guests take your invitation more seriously. Rules can include safe sex only, that a simple no means no, and to respect not only yourself, but others within the environment as well.

Another important thing is to greet your guests at the door. This is essential if you want to make certain and confirm that your guests are only those invited. You will also have the chance to leave out people who have lied about their body, age or some other thing. The down side to greeting is that you lose your anonymity. This can be most unfortunate because men may turn to you as a host when you would rather be the guy receiving the pleasure. Another idea if you prefer is hiring someone you trust to work as bouncer and do the face control. Make sure you have a very specific time in which people may arrive. Allow 30 minutes for people to come after the designated hour and inform your guests and the guy at the door that the door is locked after that certain time. This ensures that the mood and atmosphere isn’t disrupted by the late arrival of a guest.

Setting up the orgy is important too. You get a room full of horny men in your house and very often the first moments can make the party really uncomfortable. It is good to ask two or more guests who have expressed particular enthusiasm to arrive earlier before the announced time. These guys can come to the party and strip down and get into sex before others. When others arrive at the designated time, you will already have men fucking each other and this will make your guests feel a little more comfortable and ease into the swing of things

Other things to do in advance are to provide soft drinks, alcohol, lots of hand towels in each room and ample amounts of lubricants and condoms. Take care that the lighting isn’t too bright as people will feel more comfortable in the dark. Rent several porn movies and cover all the chairs and sofas with sheets. Make sure room temperature is set to normal because things will get hot too fast. Provide paper bags or a room for your guests to store their clothing.

Finally, after the party is taking a fire, move from being the host to being a participant. Lay back and enjoy your gay orgy party. This is the party of a lifetime.

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