NEVER Ask A Pregnant Woman……!

Pregnancy Sayings
Ok, so there seems to be a part of our culture that seemingly allows random strangers to ask very personal questions to pregnant women… It’s frustrating! I suppose you think that the fact that I work in an a store that sells adult products makes it somehow ok. Wrong. Please be aware that it makes it even creepier and less appropriate.


Some of the questions are triggering on an emotional level and some are just downright rude and gross. Things that you wouldn’t dream of asking a person you’ve just met who isn’t pregnant. Why do some of us think that it’s ok to ask them of a tired, hormonal person who is busy growing another human?

Since I get asked these questions anyway, I thought that I’d just address them publicly and as openly as common decency will allow me to.


“You must be horny all the time right now! Your hubby must be getting lots of sex!”


I was literally asked this by the last customer who left the store… who also propositioned me for sex after I mentioned that I was going to be a single parent. Dude! Firstly, I work around porn and sex toys. Why would I be interested in going home and playing with myself or someone else? It’s kind of like the plumber’s taps leaking or the builder’s house always needing repairs.


Secondly, yes. My (ex)husband is probably having copious amounts of sex… but since I haven’t seen him in over 6 years, it’s not with me. Also, it’s not ok to follow this answer with another question about my relationship (or lack thereof) with the baby’s father. It’s none of your business.


“I’ve always wanted to have sex with a pregnant woman. I saw it in a porno once…” said as they stare at the bump.


Staring like a creeper is not endearing at all. Just saying. I once saw a porno where a guy was tied up and suspended while a woman penetrated him with a 16” dildo… but I’m not going to say that out loud and then stare at you, so STOP! How would you like it if someone said to you “I saw this documentary about the lady who cut off her husband’s penis… I’ve always wondered what that would be like…” then stare at your crotch? Makes you uncomfortable doesn’t it?


“I love how big tits get when women are pregnant…” – Hey dude, my eyes are up here!


intimacy whilst pregnant
pregnant sex

Ok, ok. Before I got pregnant, I would have the girls just hanging out when I went out for drinks and I may have also gotten them out on my hens night to raise drinking money, but that was 10 years ago and things have changed. But even though I had them on display back then, it still didn’t make it ok to make comments on them. #sexualharassment. Believe me, I’ll be using these to feed my baby not to attract perverts.


P.S. Just in case you were wondering, it’s also not ok to make comments about breastfeeding in public either, especially if you’ve already suggested that I let you fondle my boobs while I was pregnant.


“Does it feel any different when you have sex?” or “Does the baby kick when you’re having sex?”


None of your business! Also, who says that I’m having sex? Mainly because guys on Tinder aren’t too keen on picking up hormonal pregnant women for one night stands. I’m pretty sure that acid reflux, sore breasts, needing to pee every 5 minutes and excess vaginal discharge are not sexy.


And just for the record, my son likes to kick me ALL THE TIME. No internal organ is safe from my tiny human.


“What are you having?… Oh you’re having a boy! Are you going to circumcise him?”


I really was hoping for kittens, but my ultrasound says that I’m having a normal baby boy. Why does it matter if he will be circumcised, will you be having sex with him? Seriously?! No, I won’t be telling you what my son’s penis looks like. That’s like asking a woman how tight her vagina is. How is that ok?


“Wait until it comes out, your vagina won’t ever be the same again”


Ummmmm… actually that’s what kegel exercises are for. Again, why does it matter to you what my vagina is like or will be like? Unless you’re my midwife or OB, you won’t be going anywhere near it!


So, before you go opening your mouth to ask a pregnant woman a question, throw a comment their way or go to touch them without their permission, stop. Put that decency filter back in place, ask yourself if it would be inappropriate to ask/say to a random stranger on the street and if the answer is yes, keep your mouth shut.


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