You have just met a sexy man and you have his name and number and few of the conversations that you did via grindr. You finally arranged to go out on a first date and you are excited about spending some face to face time, while being nervous at the same time because you don’t know how things will turn out. You are not sure where to go, or what should do with him at the first date. Gay First Dating is hard for everyone, especially when the gay date is also the first. Many men sabotage themselves before even getting in person with the other man. In this article, I am presenting you with few tips that will not only take that anxiety off you, but also will increase your chance of experiencing the best gay first dating scene with these Gay Dating Tips while scoring a second one soon.
- Always be yourself: You may be the sweetest and most elegant guy in the world when you get to know someone. But, when you just meet guys you can be a bit socially inept and just a teeny bit awkward. In most cases, there are only a few seconds to complete a successful meeting as it’s within our nature to quickly determine where someone or something fits into our world. One wrong word or move can easily kill that sensual vibe. The reality is, not much you say or do will turn him off if he’s into you from the start. You’ll either attract him or agree on everything with him from the start or not and the awkwardness may be what he’s attracted to. Another reality is most gay men come out of the closet waiting for someone to choose them instead of the other way around. Use this to your advantage. Whoever you are, whatever you look like and however smooth, eccentric or weird your personality is, you can take advantage of the situation as it being your choice and your chance and not his. When you show the real you, the focus shifts from what you think you’re doing wrong to whether if he is the one you really want – meaning you’re less concerned about yourself and focusing on the present.
- Never exaggerate: If you’re online and claim the movie Anaconda was based on your penis size, but instead you have a penis that looks like more of a water snake, you’ll only look like an idiot in the end when you meet him. Always be honest with the other person. If you haven’t been to a gym or never been the athletic type of guy don’t worry. Similarly, chances are you’re not just looking for friends if you’re cruising for an hour long meet up. Most of the gay men who meet other gay men don’t lie on purpose; it’s just easier on the ego to try and anticipate what other guys want. It’s not uncommon to try and read their minds and portray ourselves as things we’re not just to make them like us. But, we’re the most confident when we’re direct and honest. It’s better to be upfront, sincere, real and state exactly what you’re looking for, and keep to exactly who you are.
- Go on a gay date by yourself: Literally take yourself on a date so include it in your diary, plan it out down to the tiniest detail, and be your own prince charming. Treat yourself the way you’d treat your date. Have the brilliant, smart conversations you’d love to have when you’re on the perfect date but just don’t talk out loud unless it’s in the comfort of your car, out in the park, or somewhere where people won’t hear you and decide to mark you as a crazy guy. The point of this exercise is to get to know yourself at a deeper level, so that you can improve your gay dating ability. It might sound crazy, but it’s about getting yourself out of that routine you’re in and trying something different.
- Check your expectations: The best way to ensure that you don’t get disappointed is by checking that your expectations are met on your date. Everyone wants to find a partner but the first goal is to get to know this person and see if there is chemistry between you. Take the accentuation off of it being a date and rather see it as an opportunity to meet a potential new companion. This can “lift the spirits” and permit you to unwind without concentrating on the result of the date. Abstain from setting an excessive number of trusts and desires on the experience; let it develop normally and if a sparkle lights amid your time together, then that is a special reward! Always have fun and go into it with the idea that you’re there to have fun, not invite him to meet your parents or to the prom. Even if you think the guy is the best thing ever, only the future will tell if the relationship is lust or love.
- Don’t go to a dinner, club or cinema with your first date: All of the above choices will interrupt conversation. If you do a dinner, there will be a period where your mouth will be full and not able to talk. On the other hand, a club or a cinema will not let you talk to each other with that loud sound.
- Don’t go on a first date on Friday or Saturday: Fridays and Saturdays are the nights where most single men out there have things planned with their friends. This means that anything that will disturb your date, will automatically leave you with the thought “I could have been with someone else” thereby destroying that positive chemistry that you may have felt.
- Have a short date: At the point when setting a period and spot for your date, make sure to make it a short meeting (1-2 hours) surprisingly and select a spot that is either action arranged or takes into account heaps of chance to talk. Maintain a strategic distance from motion pictures and rather settle on a short social affair at a café or at the zoo. Making it brief takes a great deal of the weight off, particularly on the off chance that you locate you two aren’t perfect, and takes into consideration solid pacing of your dating relationship. You can simply amplify the date in case you’re getting along broadly.
- Be a gentleman: Men find manners sexy, so be a gentleman during your date. Make sure you are always being polite and considerate to your date and anyone else for that matter, even the waiter. Your date will check how you treat others during your gay first date.
- Relax: In case you’re especially anxious, take some an opportunity to do some unwinding works out (profound breathing, representation, and so forth.) to mitigate yourself and get focused. In case you’re stressed over what to discuss, create a rundown of conceivable thoughts heretofore and pretend with a companion to fabricate certainty. In any case, don’t depend a lot on this or you’ll seem hardened and practiced. Be cool and act naturally. This isn’t about execution.
- Be intimate: I advise you to create intimacy during your first date. First impression matters, so create the intimacy now. It is better to sit next to your date and not across from them as this takes the interview factor out of the date and allows both of you to keep a date full of positive energy. If you have created the proper intimate situation, your gay first date might also give you a first kiss sooner than you expect.
- Seal the deal for the second date before ending the night: If you had a good time on your first gay date, seal the deal for the second date before you two end the night. Most of the times, sealing the deal is simple as asking for a second date. To appear even more interested to your date, include a day for that second date that way you are not left wondering who should make the call and not being clear if the other person is interested.
- Never feel shame when you meet someone: There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You know what you like and you know your body and self well enough to keep it safe and still have fun. Learn from the experience and see if this experience is right or not so right for you. Shame and guilt do nothing but distract you from this unique adventurous journey you’re taking to figure out who you truly are. Instead, take the time, enjoy and discover the experiences that you get from getting to know yourself, what you like and dislike. There are no explanations or justifications needed. What you do is your job and is something personal. Protect yourself first, because not everyone has an interest in keeping you safe. Always use condoms during sex. Especially when you don’t know the other person. After experiencing this new adventure decide if meeting up is right for you.
- You should always ask him his sex history: Maybe not on the first date, but it’s important to cover it when and if things start getting serious. Maybe even beforehand, so you know exactly what you are getting yourself into. Don’t take the chance with sex. You cannot undo things when something goes wrong. Ask him if he hooks up frequently or if he’s into bare backing (having gay anal sex without a condom). Take condoms with you and see if he has some of his own and watch his reaction. A little reverse psychology works here, too. Ask if he likes it raw, meaning if he likes a penis without a condom or if he likes getting fucked the ass without a condom. It’s sudden, but gets to the point and can give out a lot about the person in front of you. Chances are he won’t know if you’re asking to feel him out or if you are into it, so the answer is most likely honest.
- Don’t lower your standards: Never lower your relationship standards. This is your first gay date only! You might find yourself happy to begin with, but it might never last beyond a level of achieved comfortableness. Okay, this may seem contrary to most things I say in this article, but expectations shouldn’t be confused with confidence. Yes, you must be confident with yourself and you should be real but expectations are false hopes that often lead to disappointments. Expectations on your way to a meeting with another gay man can be a fiasco and can sabotage your date. Your imagination is a wonderful and unique things, but can lead you to annoyance when you start creating scenarios before they happen. You don’t know the future and you can’t predict how things will go down, so why make things up? Avoid the regret by going into the situation with an open mind. This puts you in a better position to adjust to potential setbacks or successes.
I hope these Gay Dating Tips assists you with planning for your first gay date and hopefully finding true love.
Author: Stephen is a consultant at the best adult shop in Caringbah
Stephen is a cis-gendered gay male who spends far too much time with his two cats and eating tim tams. A self-identified sex-positive advocate he cares deeply about gender equality, disabilities, sexual education and social issues. Opinionated and bold he isn’t afraid to speak his mind and say what others won’t. With a yearning for knowledge and experience in all things relating to sex, he is a prolific writer that has developed the content for a myriad of informative Sexual Health and Wellness websites.
Stephen’s articles and writings tends to focus on social issues, sexual education, queer issues and all things fetish and absurd. He comes qualified with the completion of a double Bachelor degree in Social Sciences and literature, and a Masters in Education.