This review is brought to you by a big dyke that hated dildos before working in an adult shop, but now has seen the light and owns too many to count. The first year of me working for Oh Zone I was only purchasing the dildos that looked the least like a penis as possible. Two years later and the majority of my collection now looks as lifelike as possible. Over the past two years, I have discovered a lot about myself and the things I am into when it comes to sex. I still haven’t worked it all out and there is still a lot of confusion that I have when it comes to my gender, but right now I am beyond happy to be a woman in 2018 with a product that is about to be released that gives me the option of having a penis that erects! Yes you read that correctly, the dildo erects and my big gay heart is exploding with joy because I finally get to experience having a proper hard-on!
This is the first erecting dildo so there definitely are some imperfections that I will talk about but first I am going to boast about all the great things that made me want to talk about it straight away.
The Uprize is a high-grade silicone, rechargeable dildo that can either be controlled via the two buttons on the side of the toy or with the wireless remote that it comes with. Silicone toys can not be used with silicone lubricant as it destorys the material. Make sure to purchase yourself some good quality, water-based lubricant if you do not already own some to use with the Uprize.
It has a suction base for solo play but it is also harness compatible for partner play. Love Honey has released an Uprize Harness that you can purchase separately but I have not seen it yet so I can’t give you a review on that aspect.
This awesome product doesn’t just erect, it also vibrates and there are 10 different vibration modes to choose from. When using the wireless remote, to make the dildo go from flacid to hard it only takes one click of the middle button. The other two buttons will allow you to control your vibration functions.
The Uprize is 100% waterproof for some bathroom fun and I am pretty damn excited about that! Not quite sure how well it works for everyone else but being a lesbian and attempting to have sex in the shower is a very big struggle. I love it but it usually just ends in cramps some good laughs. Thinking about it now I’ve never tried using a strap on in the shower but this toy now makes me want to give it a shot. Waterproof also means it is super easy to keep clean! Toy cleaner and some warm water is the best way to keep your toys clean.
As I said before there are some imperfections, but this is just my opinion so these may not be imperfections for you. The motor could be a lot quieter, as soon as you go past the first vibration setting it does get quite loud. When I squeezed the toy it didn’t sound as loud though so I’d recommend inserting it first before turning on vibrations if you live with people. Also, when it erects it isn’t super loud, but there is a noise that sounds like a plane taking off when it moves. For me, I want the most realistic experience and that is something that would put me off a bit.
It is quite heavy so I’m not sure how great it is going to be with certain harnesses. I’d probably recommend getting a harness with thicker straps and that has both waist and leg straps for extra support.
It could also definitely be a bit more realistic but like I said before, I know it is the first of its kind so I am sure they will only get better with time.
WARNING
This product is way too chunky to be used as a packer unless you are into having a super huge bulge, if that is the case then you should definitely go for it! I will warn you now though, I would not try making the toy go hard underneath pants or underwear as you may end up breaking the motor and this is not covered by warranty.
The Uprize comes with a 1-year manufacturing warranty.
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Pretty funky looking dildo