Thank Steve Jobs for Sex

Firstly I want to thank Steve Jobs (May he rest in peace) for creating the Iphone, because if it wasn’t for the Iphone, Tinder which is the world’s greatest app second to Angry Birds would not have been created or Grinder. If you don’t already know about Tinder, it is an application on the phone where you swipe left (to reject) or right (to accept and chat) people in your area. Now you can get some common interests for example a friend from school or awkwardly a relative but this is just a small embarrassment from the larger sum of satisfaction that you can gain from Tinder.

Anyway I’m detracting from the story. I was at home one night and I was bored swiping my life away on Tinder, it sort of sounded like this, “No”, “No”, “I think I’m related to her!” “No”, “Oh! She is cute”, “No”, “Well, Hello Hello Cutie”, “No’. Then all off a sudden I received the best news of my life. “Congratulations, you got a match!.” and I moved my thumb towards the notification saying please be hot, please be hot this blonde girl pops on my screen. Jackpot! Hazel eyes, beautiful blonde hair, these cute dimples. It was defiantly love at first swipe!. I made the first move, I sat there thinking of something catchy to say, something real witty where she will turn around and say oh his a smooth operator i would defiantly have sex with him. So I thought of the wittiest line i had in my arsenal “HEY”.

Who knew that “HEY” could lead to 5 hours of constant banter and then the invitation to come over. God, I love Tinder. So after going to the gym, going home, checking myself out in the mirror naked, a bit of self confidence boosting talk, and a little bit to much aftershave, I headed to her house! Her name was Claire by the way if anyone was wondering. Now Claire was the same age as me, 20, and she lived very close to me, about 10 minutes drive but had no mutual friends. Thank God for tinder, truly bring the world closer


People Kissing
Photo: Thank Steve Jobs For Sex


As soon as I arrived to her apartment, she opened the door and there she was in black lace bra and panties set, with a garter belt connecting to her stockings. It was on. I paced over, and lifted her off her feet and carried her to the bedroom while we were kissing each other passionately, the mouth, the neck, she was nibbling my ear lobe and putting her tongue down my ear. Kinky, I liked that. I take her down to the bed, as soon as she is laying there she leans forward and takes my top off, we are still passionately kissing, little words had been said. It started to get even more heated with my belt coming off, and her quickly taking unbuttoning my jeans. I liked her lingerie so I teased her by leaving it on for longer. She started playing with me using her tans, whilst her lips were still working themselves up and down my neck. She pulls back for a second and reaches into her draw, automatically in my head I said “Here we go, another axe murderer”, oh wait it is not a knife she is pulling out, it was a tube and by the looks of it, it was flavored. I took a closer look at the bottle and it was my favorite WetStuff Salted Caramel flavored lube. She started to squeeze it in drops on my chest all the way down to my pelvis, she chased the drops with her tongue until she worked her way down to my penis, she lined my shaft with this sticky caramel lube and ate it all. I was in heaven.

I picked her up again and took her to the dining room table where i laid her flat and just made love to her. Then again i picked her up and took her to the bed. She reached over for the second time and pulled out a little bullet. It was the 20 function NU Sensuelle, as we were in missionary she started to serenade her clitoris with it. Then all of a sudden in between her moans she started laughing, I asked her what was funny and she replies “You sold me this toy about a year ago, and now I’m using it while you’re fucking me”. If that is not satisfaction, I do not know what is. We continued until she came from the vibrations of the bullet, and then it was my turn. If it wasn’t for the bullet, I don’t think I could of got her to where she wanted to go. NU 20 Function Sensuelle Point Bullet is a must have!!!!!


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