Slut
Slʌt/
Noun
Derogatory: A woman who has many casual sexual partners.
Synonyms: Promiscuous woman
Dated: A woman with low standards of cleanliness.
Slut is a profoundly polluted word carrying judgements of shame, fear and disgust. Even writing about embracing it feels like an incredibly edgy place for me. What must people think of someone who claims this aspect of themselves? Even today where sex sells and explicit pornographic material is one click away, the shame around sexuality is still rampant and no other archetype is judged more harshly than the slut.
My inner slut is an aspect of myself which has carried much shame over the years partly because of beliefs around this part of me being unacceptable and unlovable. Until I consciously began exploring the darker aspects of my sexuality, a slut to me was connected to sexual promiscuity, recklessness and drama. Being called a slut is in many cases intended to shame, humiliate and condemn a woman for her sexuality or sexual behaviours. Being a slut had connotations with being destructive hence my reluctance to even acknowledge let alone own this part of myself once upon a time.
When parts of ourselves are shunned and ignored, they end up having a power over us regardless of whether we are aware of it or not. A slut in the shadows can be destructive and manipulative, using her sexual energy for unhealthy and damaging motives. An unconscious slut can be reckless towards others, leaving behind heartbreak and pain in her pursuit to fulfil her needs.
The Unhealthy Seductress
She can come about as the unhealthy seductress-luring men in with her looks and charm, sucking the life force out of them to feed her, leaving them drained and depleted. You may have seen it before-the burnt-out man clutching at his seemingly “sexy” woman, appearing like a walking zombie as she radiates life force. In this scenario, she manipulates the men/man in her life to fill her up and make her feel good about herself, leaving him less than energised but unable to stop going back for more.
The Unconscious Slut
An unconscious slut can also come about as the woman seeking outside herself for validation of her worthiness. Being sexual with men to feel “loved”, consistently crossing her boundaries and disrespecting herself in the hope that she will feel good enough one day. This path of expressing her sexuality in unconscious ways can lead to a great deal of pain and self-harm.
Acknowleding The Slut Within Us All
Calling a woman a slut has been intended to insult in the past however there are many women who will proudly own this part of themselves because they understand the truth of what it means. When the slut inside us can be acknowledged, owned and loved, she can be a beautiful aspect of ourselves to embody.
The Empowered Slut
An empowered slut is a woman confident in herself as a sexual being. She understands the power of her sexual energy and uses it in a way that brings about a more joyful, pleasurable and abundant existence for herself and others. An empowered slut is loving and authentic, carrying good intentions for the expression of her sexuality. She directs her sexual energy with consciousness and awareness and embraces pleasure as her birth right.
My empowered slut comes alive for love and pleasure. She is generous with sharing herself with others and desires nothing more than to love the whole world in any way she can. My inner slut does not accept the social norm of needing to contain and stifle sexuality. She has made a point of being open with sex and invites others to do the same. Touch is her language and with full consent and respect, she desires to touch and be touched by others.
My empowered slut is able to feel safe expressing herself because I have done much work on developing healthy boundaries. I believe boundaries and respect to self and others is key to healthily expressing this archetype. Once we know what is and isn’t ok with ourselves, we can communicate that clearly leaving so much freedom to explore our sexuality in a safe and positive way. When your boundaries are clear, you can be sexual with 1, 10 or 100 people and have it be done from a loving and joyful place rather than destructive or harmful.
A powerful shift occurs when we are able to come to a place of acceptance of those parts of ourselves we have kept in the dark. When we can acknowledge, own and eventually love these darker parts of ourselves, we gain back our power and freedom. It is from this place that we can healthily explore the slut archetype within, which is incredibly fun and pleasurable. Embodying the slut archetype with ourselves, a partner or lover is a beautiful experience when done with full awareness. It could be the first step to understanding your sexual personality.
Author: Stephanie Curtis, Sexologist
Explore Stephanie Curtis’s profound insights! A caring sexologist, she delves into spirituality, tantra with professional, articulate, interesting articles.