Shaving or Wild and Free – To Shave or Not To Shave?

“To shave or not to shave?” that is the question. Lasering, waxing, shaving, trimming, letting it all grow wild and free! Shaping, dying and even vajazzling. Good grief the options are endless. Fashions have changed over my lifetime and our individual tastes will always be different.

But as a woman it is something that in the developed world we all have to spend ridiculous amounts of time and money dealing with.

Shaving When I Was Younger

When I was younger, I have to say, there was a lot less of it to deal with.

A quick once over with a Bic shaver and I was ready to go. As you get older though, boy does that stuff multiply. I vividly remember staring, stunned, in absolute disbelief when I saw my first chin hair.

A hair! On MY CHIN.. mamma mia! What is that all about? Little did I know once I plucked that little guy out, it was only a matter of a year or so before people were mistaking me for Osama Bin Laden.

Yes, age and life are cruel mistresses.

The hairs they steal from your head they donate to your stomach and bum crack. Nowadays, in middle age I often find myself tripping over my own armpit hair. Wondering why I have paws instead of feet.

On occasions I even receive phone calls from my own vagina begging me to get in the forestry commission to do some controlled burning down there.

Photo: To Shave or Not To Shave? – “Wookie” What I Used to Look Like

I am fat and pregnant.  At the moment it’s been a few weeks since I even saw what was going on down there.

Out of sight, out of mind and all that.

That’s what I say. Unfortunately my partner doesn’t think the same. We have been together for almost 20 years.

You would think he would accept me for all that I am, hair and all, just not that much hair apparently. It isn’t fair how fashions have changed for the hairiest people. It’s not like a bit of a trim will do anymore. You have to be bald, completely and utterly bald… EVERYWHERE!

In my day if a man wanted you to shave your pussy you would have thought he was a pedophile! Not any more though.

There is no doubt about it. Shaving your face and body is a right royal pain in the arse.

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Blog: The Good Girl Being a Little Bad

Landscape Gardening Downstairs

I got so fed up with all that landscape gardening, I actually decided to go down the old laser hair removal route a while ago and get rid of it once and for all.   It scared the shit out of me at first.

I pictured myself having to lie prostrate, legs akimbo. Straddled by some woman in goggles and a white coat, brandishing a lightsaber (That sounds quite hot when I put it like that).

Stranger seeing my bits?…mmmm.

There is something not too pleasant about that. Then there is the cost of course. Do I really want to spend a month’s wages on this? Well I did.  I couldn’t believe how quickly it was all over.

And like most people who go under the laser, I wondered why on earth I hadn’t done it years ago.  Life was sweet, I have fair skin and very dark hair so I am the perfect candidate apparently.

Only one treatment! I couldn’t believe it, a month went by and nothing came back.  Another month went by and still nothing. I went for my second treatment.

Life had never looked better. I was walking around with a spring in my step, joy in my heart.

And A Twat like a cue ball.

A niggling thought started to bug me though. At first it was just something that popped into my mind now and again but I began to dwell on it.

What if hair came back into fashion? We sell heaps of “hairy” porn. And I began to think that if I wasn’t a fashion following, people pleasing sap sometimes, I quite like the look of a neat trimmed bush.

It is after all a sign that a woman has reached sexual maturity. I have always thought it makes a nice smiley face when you look at the female form with its boobs for eyes and vaginal hair for the mouth. OH GOD what have I done? And other thoughts too started to creep in.

Can you be too old to be hair free?

Isn’t it cooler to grow old gracefully? Am I going to look like the equivalent of some old sad guy stuck with the fading tattoo mistakes he made in his twenties?

Well I needn’t have worried. Pregnancy does odd things to body hair. Once I got up the duff, I began to notice small patches of downy fluff appearing from nowhere.

I watched what would happen with eager anticipation, like a gardener waiting for his first spring blooms. ….and, well nothing else happened, nothing at all. Just small sprouts of downy fluff in odd wispy patches. There was nothing else for it, I had to start bloody shaving again.

Either that or stand outside and start fundraising for hair loss research because that is what I looked like.

I am not allowed to have more laser until after the baby comes along.

So at least it gives me some time to decide what it is I want. Who knows? Now I have shaved the fluff off, it might be like the old days. In a few weeks time I will look like I have a giant sea urchin spreading out of my vagina and migrating down my inner thighs towards my knees.

Feminine, young, youthful, hair free, soft-skinned innocence.

That is what we all seem strive for at the moment. Oh that and to have and a pristine, hairless, bleached -baby -pink, shiny anus you could eat your dinner off but that’s a blog post for another day.

Pubes will probably always will be a hotly debated issue.

And you can choose to do exactly what you want with them. There is no right or wrong and who am I to judge?

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