How Do We Remain Sexually Active When Apart?

Hi Oz, My girlfriend has recently had to move to Sydney for work while I have to stay out west for uni. Do you have any suggestions for what can help keep us sexually active together, even when we’re so far apart? We do see each other every week or two, but we both enjoy sex a lot more than that. – WH

 

Hi WH,

Thanks for your email. You, my friend, are in luck. The world of adult entertainment, be it porn or toys, has always been at the forefront of technology. Remember when Blu-Ray first came out, at the same time so did HD-DVD? Don’t remember HD-DVD, that’s because it dissappeared when the porn industry decided to exclusively use Blu-Ray. The same happened decades earlier when VHS and Beta video both hit the market.

At the moment, there are a range of different brands out there offering very interactive toys for people in situations like yours. Probably the best out there has been developed by Kiiroo. They have a range of devices for him and her available, all available to interect on the free Feel Connect app.

For her, there’s the Pearl 2, Fuse and Cliona. The Pearl 2 is a strong solid regular vibe, the Fuse is the rabbit version. The Cliona is an external toy only. For him, the Onyx 2 delivers possibly the most realistic blowjob-like sensations out on the market, while adding a Fleshlight Launch to your regular Fleshlight will turn it into an interactive thrusting toy that takes you closer to penetrative sex, with needing to stroke as you go and save you a lot of cardio.

In saying that, the Kiiroo range, including the Fleshlight variatations, can be quite pricey. We-Vibe is one of the leading sex tech brands out there, and all about adding a new level of fun to couples both near and far. Utilizing their free We-Connect app, one is about to take control of their partner’s device, from anywhere in the world.

The We-Vibe Sync is easily the most popular couples toy, and with its ergonomic u-shaped design, it provides both internal and external stimulation for her. It’s great for teasing her on date night as well as for an extra buzz during penetrative sex, but I feel it wouldn’t be the right toy in your circumstance. Perhaps she’d rather the Nova, a bulbous g-spot rabbit vibe that will really get her over the edge. For you, the Verge is a vibrating cock ring that while designed to vibe on your perenenium, is quite versatile and you can turn it around with playing together to stimulate her clit, or use it as a way to supercharge your finger action. The Vector is a nice rumbly prostate toy you may enjoy, or the We-Vibe Ditto is a vibrating anal plug that’s fun for either of you to use.

The above mentioned toys are all about interaction, taking an active role in exactly how your partner gets off. Their apps both feature in-app video connections, but if you’d rather take matters into your own hands (so to speak), there are plenty of regular free apps out there to connect with video chat functionality.

You can always check out the best couples sex toys of 2020 to get further ideas too.

To maximise this visual aspect of play together, for you I’d suggest a Fleshlight Ice. It’s similar to a regular Fleshlight, but the sheath is clear, so she can see all the goodness going on within.

For her, and for the majority of women, it’s all about clit play. Some fantastic, rechargeable bullets are out there, notably We-Vibe’s own Tango, Femme Funn’s ultra bullet, or The Queen from Evolved, a rumble toy with a flared base to allow for some insertion play too.

Lastly, if you really want the sensation of being together, and want to go old-school and lo-fi, why not make a mold of each other? Clone-A-Willy provides everything you need to make a dildo exactly from your own penis, just as the Clone-A-Pussy will provide you with a familiar feeling pocket pussy.

Good luck, and have fun!

 

Oz answers your sexual health and relationship questions..  He is a consultant at the Oh Zone adult stores.