Dating Safety Online

Finding Mr. or Mrs. right can be challenging, especially in our fast paced society. With our lives moving at the speed of light, the dating of yesterday is becoming a thing of the past. Before internet dating you would meet someone face to face, be set up on blind dates, or try your hand at speed dating. But now technology has changed the face of dating as we know it!  Lets make sure that if you do it you can Safely Date Online. Internet dating has become a popular option to the conventional methods of yesterday, but the question comes in how can it be safe? Internet dating can be just as safe as any other form of dating, provided you do your homework. It may seem like you are invading their privacy, but I assure you this is the key to your safety!

Probably the easiest way to tell if they are legit is to use your senses (and no not just your emotions), I mean look and listen. Pay attention to what they tell you, what hobbies are they into. Look to see if they have images of them doing these activities. If someone says they like to surf, I would expect to find a picture of them surfing. Make sure that they are someone that you want to meet and that their interests complement yours.  You don’t want to be dating a man that is heavily into bondage if you are not.

 

Fancy Event Couple

The next question I would ask myself is how many pictures are they making available to me? Do they have a lot of photo’s on line? If so this is a good sign, check to see if any one the people have been tagged in these photos. A huge red flag should be if they only have one picture (even if they claim it is a new profile, they should be posting more quickly). Don’t be afraid to use the tags either! Click on these people, and see if anyone has actually met this person! I don’t know how many people that have fallen victim to a scammer, that could have avoided it just by talking to some of the friends that are pinned. Any reasonable person will understand being concerned about safety. Just be upfront with them that before meeting, you will be contacting a few of their friends (I suggest 3, it gives you enough to verify the person but not so many that they think you are stalking them). Also don’t tell them which three you want to contact or let them choose the people for you to contact.

If they aren’t keen on you using their friends, at a minimum use Google. Yes these documents can be forged, but it is better than just taking this person at their word. But to be honest I have yet to find someone that disagreed with me contacting their friends. Usually there have been one or two that I was requested to avoid, but for the most part I have been given free rein. Stay vigilant if the person always has some emergency come up at the last moment and can’t make their scheduled plans. I can be understanding of something once, but more than once and I start to question their honesty.  There are so many options when it comes to verifying the identity of the person you are talking to.

Now when it comes to meeting there are a few more rules. I try to stick to something during the day, and in a very public place. Going out to eat is a safe option, but if you go somewhere nice and they serve alcohol try to only have one glass. If you have to leave the table, order a new drink when you return (to be safe).  Don’t agree to something you would not usually do – especially on the first date.  If he wants to take you to a strip club or adult shop on your first date you can almost rest assured he is expecting something from you that you may not be prepared to give.  Set the ground rules firmly in place. When it comes to getting there, always make your own travel arrangements both for the trip there and home. You don’t want someone you just met knowing where you live. Things might seem fine however, it will take a while to know for sure. It’s not worth the risk.

I also usually phone a friend for safety. They will serve as my spotter for the date. I let them know where we are going, what time, I also have them call me 30 minutes into the date. I excuse myself and use the restroom, at this point I can decide how I feel about the date. If things are going well, I simply return to the table when done. If I have a bad feeling, I make up an excuse to leave (usually a crisis at work). At the end of the evening I will also call this friend to let them know I made it home safely! At the end of the day on line dating can be a fun option to met people. It just means changing your dating rules!

Good luck and happy safe dating online!

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Roulla was a contributor on the adultsmart blog in 2014. She has since returned to her homeland in Greece where she has taken up a career in hairdressing. We wish her well.

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