Pregnancy and Sex – The During & After Guide

Let’s talk about pregnancy and sex. Before falling pregnant I heard a lot of things like “wait till your pregnant you will want SEX 24/7”. And “omg it’s so much better when you are pregnant”. Now let me tell you this was not the case for me at all.  Pregnancy at the most of times is hard balancing work and studies in-between you almost forget the time your meant to make for yourself.

My sex life went from a 20/10 to a 1/10 if that.

There became a time at month 3 that I decided to give up on sex completely as I wasn’t feeling it.  It became a chore more then something that I wanted or craved.

It’s funny how much the brain plays a part of sex.  Smells, touch, heat/cold your brain decides all of that. So something that may have felt tingly and amazing before now feels over sensitive or uncomfortable.

It’s a really hard thing to come to terms with because you don’t realize how much good sex makes you happy until you stop it.

No I don’t just mean orgasming.

Its so much more than that.  When you form that connection with someone should I say that constant lust for attention and touch.  A simple kiss on the neck can be the most amazing feeling you feel every hair on your body stand up.

Hot shower running down your back and having your partner wrapped around you pressed against you.  These are all the things that stop when sex stops. Because there is so much tension on you both that’s the last thing you want to do.

Funniest part for me is how hard it is to change that, something that came so natural before is now so strange and foreign. That’s until ……..

But WAIT – My Pregnany and Sex Saviour 

I found the mighty sex wand and yes I’m talking about that thing everyone says “omg that looks like a microphone”.

Now let me tell you that microphone in a space of 40 seconds if that brought on a frenzy of emotion and feelings back to my life.  I don’t know how I haven’t brought this into my life earlier and I will discuss this later in my blog.

The sensation this sex toy gives you solo or with a partner in my case this was the saviour of my relationship.  2 months on from the “end of my relationship if you want to call it that” this sex toy has simply fixed so much.  It has filled that gap of feeling unwanted and loved I now get to have the sex life I had and even more.

I couldn’t recommend this enough to pregnant or not pregnant women that just are not “feeling it” in the bed room.  And for women that are thinking they cant enjoy it and they haven’t, I can only tell you my personal experience and this is it.

Take Control of Your Pleasure

It’s a great way to allow you to take control of your body.  Not relying on him to try and do something that isn’t humanly possible.  We put so much pressure on males from things we have watched from porn and say that they cannot do there “job right”.  Which leads to no communication and then your relationship forms around the thought of him doing his job wrong.

But ladies its your job to make you feel good as well and to aid him with the information that feels good for you.  Every female body is different.  Sometimes we forget that and we accept that we do not need pleasure and that as long as he’s happy that’s all that matters.

I believed this for 8 years with my ex until I had enough and took control.

Yes that’s 8 years without an orgasm with a partner.

So the current partner I have I just simply took control.  Figured out what I wanted and liked.  Once I figured that out I seen sex in such a different light.

The mighty body wand has been the highlight of my sex toy experience.  I have owned many many toys and this for me just made my brain scramble when I used it.  Its funny I bought it thinking “oh it’s a vibrator cool”.

Pffftttt was I wrong.

First experience I had with this amazing toy was a midnight.  Just finished work and really just wanted a hot shower.  I wasn’t expecting much from this toy at all.

Oh boy did it prove me wrong.

I started using it in the shower solo until my partner realized what I had gotten up to. He decided to join me he stepped into the shower and kissed my neck from behind.  This is the first time I had butterflies since being pregnant.

I had Goosebumps all over my body.  A sensation I can’t explain he entered me from behind and my god my body started going crazy.  With the combination of this powerful wand and the thrusts of his penis deep inside me sent me over the edge with in 40 seconds making me unable to stand.

He continued to thrust while holding me up

Pushing me against the cold glass making my nipples hard and sensitive.  He continued to fuck me while pulling my hair until I started gushing which lead to him cumming instantly.

It was the most sensitive and eye rolling orgasm I have had in 8 months.  And I thank the wand for this.  Now when I talk about pregnant sex or sex in general with anyone this toy definitely gets a mention and comes under my must buy list.

Doggy is a must with this toy.  It hits all the spots perfectly.  And its also waterproof which makes it fun for those cold nights when you want a hot bath or shower and also want to have fun.

It also doubles as an awesome massager so I don’t know what else you could ask for!!!!!!!!

Sex After Pregnancy!

Well, I have recently returned to work after giving birth to my third baby.  I wrote an article about sex pregnancy on this site a while back, before I gave birth about having sex during pregnancy.

So, I thought I would do a follow up on sex ‘ after’ having a baby.

Now I know some of you boys out there might want to switch off, put your fingers in your ears and sing “la la la” really loudly!  Some of you girls may even want to switch off now! It isn’t something that gets talked about often. I can honestly say in all the baby groups and library sing-song  sessions I attended over the last 10 months, not one lady has come up to me and said “hey how”s ya vagina?”

So sit back, get comfortable, and get the popcorn out!….

Truth is after expelling the equivalent of a watermelon out of my privates…Even I couldn’t bring myself to touch or look at my vagina, let alone let anyone else near it!

It felt like a god damn crime scene!

Joking aside though.  Most nurses advise at least 4 – 6 weeks before you have any kind of sex, it actually isn’t safe.  So I think the thoughts and feelings I had was just my body telling me to hold off….and maybe spend a bit of time bonding with baby, which obviously is amazing.

Then the next set of untalked about thoughts and feelings kicks in.

What if I don’t ever ever feel like sex again?

Well, that is a normal and natural thought too.

Libido after birth is scientifically lowered and as well as being completely emotionally overwhelmed, you are really bloody exhausted! Lower levels of estrogen you now have cause vaginal dryness, on top of that, breastfeeding can cause dryness as well.

Boy oh boy, that was depressing!  Good news is that we are made to make babies! It is what sex is for.  Thankfully there is now contraception to make sure the whole baby thing only happens when you are ready for it.  And we can have recreational fun!

I can tell you though, I had anxious feelings about my sex life after birth all 3 times.  Every time I have been amazed by how the body and mind heal.  I would like to be able to say I still have the vagina of a 16-year-old…I maybe should have asked the doctor to pop a cheeky couple of extra stitches in for hubby!

For me, thankfully it is all well that ends well.

It can be emotionally and physically  consuming and may require some proactive measures, Go down to Adultsmart for some decent Lube.  Superslyde is great and maybe for Mum, a new toy to play with, just to get yourselves back into the mood without having pressure from each other.

And most importantly some Kegels to strengthen the muscles down there! There are plenty of articles on Kegels and the benefits of using them on the Adultsmart Blog.  I can’t stress the importance of these, especially as you have more pregnancies and get older.

When you piss every time you sneeze, it t sure isn’t sexy!  Kegels should be mandatorily prescribed pre and post pregnancy.

Partner Jealousy of Baby

The other thing that can be challenging, is your partner’s jealousy over the bond you have with the new baby. Try to find time for each other, even if it is just a kiss and a cuddle.

A baby can make a couple more intimate.  But sometimes it does the exact opposite.  So, on a daily basis both parties need to make a bit of an extra effort in thinking about each other’s feelings.

Just when you thought it was all dry vaginas and bad moods

There are the leaking breasts! Now there are a whole lot of men out there paying good money to watch lactating women. I know that for a fact.  But it can be a bit strange for a couple to associate where the baby feeds from to something sexual.

It becomes less of an erogenous zone for a woman.  But at the same time, they can squirt if intimately touched. My advice about that one is if it isn’t your “thing”  to have a good laugh about it.

So whilst I was convinced I would never be able to have enjoyable sex again, I can vouch for the fact that it happens. Slowly but surely the mind and body work in ways that can be beyond our control, although we can certainly help the process with some decent advice and products.