Pop-culture Made Batman My Super Hung Hero!

Super Hung Heroes is a range of dildos made by the adult company Doc Johnson. They are made based upon all of our favorite marvel super heroes and comics but they are extremely hung. Imagine Spiderman ripping out his gigantic red swollen cock, Thor putting his extremely hard hammer down, Iron Man with his mushroom headed hard dong, Batman with his ridged winged big dong and Captain America’s sex toy like dong that’s humble and gets straight to the point. With the introduction to these dildos, I will also introduce you to who I am.

Banner for the Super Hung Heroes
Image: Super Hung Heroes

I myself, am a gay comic nerd who plays video games like the card game Magic The Gathering and all sorts of board game stuff. Now I never used to be into comics but my wonderful and amazing boyfriend of five years (can you tell it’s our anniversary this week) has turned me. With every release of a Marvel/DC film he has patiently dealt with all my questions concerning characters. He has devotedly dragged me to the cinemas and we have watched… Every… Single… Damn… Marvel and DC Film. I’ll give the studio credit – they must be rolling in it.

And yes, before you ask we have watched the gay porn parodies including Captain Americock, Batman and Robin; An all-male parody, Batdude and Throbin and our personal favorite The Green Lantern is Gay. Though, I will freely admit that we were devastated about the lack of Ryan Reynolds in this film. Though listen up, you can see Ryan Reynolds Ass in Deadpool. Just sayin’. Go see it. It’s an amazing film. Also, putting it out there, if Marvel wants some new marketing blood in their marketing team.

There are plenty of movies that are being released like Black Panther, Avengers Infinity War, Ant Man and the Wasp, Captain Marvel and Spider-Man Homecoming 2. So, to celebrate all these upcoming movies, today I will be looking at one of the Super Hung Heroes and I have my eye on the ”The Caped Cock”. I wonder what a superhero’s cock would feel like! *Insert Dramatic Fanfare*.

Batman's dildo
Image: The Caped Cock Box

Now, I do find it hilarious that the ‘Caped Cock’ is an uncircumcised cock and for those that love uncut sex toys – this will have you in the zone in no time.  Combine this with some water-based cum lubricant and… Well, what I was going to say is just too damn crass. So you can fill in the blanks. Now before you get too excited, I need to warn you. When the tagline is ‘Super Hung’, they ain’t lying. This massive Super Hung Hero is just over two inches wide by one a half inches. It is wide. Did I mention it is wide? So, just like any good superhero “slash” athlete you will need to warm up before using this super villain AKA Bad Boy. So pucker up, spread your personal lubricant of choice liberally and get those sphincter muscles warmed up because there is no way you can take this thing cold.

Dildo of Batmans penis
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You’ll also notice that it could not be a Batman Cock without the shape of batman, so rather than sacrifice a phallic shape, they’ve embossed the batman wings on either side of the shaft and then ‘scored’ it, so it almost feels like a bat. Not that I’ve ever felt a bat, but it kind of feels like the leathery wings… alright. Now that I think about it, and since the bat is a mammal it doesn’t feel like a bat. I can feel the ripples and they feel very subtle. When you run your fingers along it, you can tell that it will feel good. If you can fit it in that is! On top of that, it has little ridges around the two bat wings so, whilst there’s not a lot going on, there’s certainly some room for some solid stimulation. It’s made of a softish silicone, and when lube is applied it feels silky smooth.

My only critique of this is the balls. They aren’t balls, they’re barely even in the shape of balls. Considering the detail on this, and when I compare it to the other Super Hung Heroes dildos – I was a little disappointed that they thought they’d literally just gloss over the balls and not pay any attention to them. That’s certainly not what you should do with balls. It is made in America like the majority of super heroes, this silicone dildo will have any fan boy squealing. Whether that’s from delight… or something else. Well that’s for you to decide and for you to ensure that you warm up for the Super Hung Heroes!

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