Penistrone Soup!!!

With the chill in the air, it’s time for soup. But not any soup. Kinky Soup. It’s time for Penis-trone. A sure crowd pleaser, trust me when I say people will be asking you for the recipe and for second or third helpings.  Who said that you cannot mouthgasm with food and sex.



  • 4 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided

  • 1 medium brown onion, diced

  • 2 medium carrots, peeled and diced

  • 2 medium celery stalks, diced

  • ¼ cup tomato paste

  • 2 cups chopped winter vegetables (potatoes, butternut pumpkin, zucchini, sweet potato, green beans or peas whatever tickles your fancy- You’re in charge)

  • 1 Tbsp garlic paste

  • 1 tsp italian herbs

  • ¼ tsp cinnamon

  • 800g diced tomatoes

  • 1L Chicken broth

  • 2 cups water

  • 1 teaspoon fine sea salt

  • 2 bay leaves

  • Pinch of red pepper flakes

  • black pepper

  • 1 cup penis pasta

  • 2 cups of baby spinach or kale

  • Freshly grated Parmesan cheese, for garnishing

  • Dash of cream per bowl


  1. Lubricate your pot with oil until glistening and smoking. We want this baby HOT.

  2. Sizzle the onion, carrot, celery until they yield to your touch and the onion is translucent (about 7-8 minutes)

  3. Add the tomato paste and cook for a further minute.

  4. Add the vegetables, garlic and herbs and stir until fragrant and your mouth starts watering (estimate of 2 minutes)

  5. Dilate the mixture with your stock, water and pop in those tomatoes. Pinch salt, pepper and chilli flakes before lightly sliding the bay leaves in.

  6. Leaving the lid slightly open to allow some of the steam to escape but much to remain and build into juicy delightful deliciousness, simmer for 15 minutes.

  7. Sprinkle in your penis pasta and spinach (or kale) and cook for a further 11-15 minutes uncovered (or until the pasta is tender between your teeth and tongue)

  8. Spoon seductively into bowls and add a drip of cream and a dusting of parmesan cheese.

  9. You won’t even need to make them beg for more.

At your Service,


OhZone Sales Consultant, Educator, Kitchen Domme

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