I have recently come to notice a pattern of mine that surfaces whenever male masturbators such as the Tenga Flip Zero with vibrations come into the Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres. A rush of excitement followed by envy overcomes me as I remember the fact that I will never know what it is like to use one of these adult toys. I love being a woman and I would not change it for the world yet I do imagine (probably, way too often) what it would be like to have a penis. I have spoken to countless women who agree that they are envious of men due to the fact that they have what seems to be such amazing genitalia.
From talking and working with countless men, I have discovered that in some circumstances being a man in this day and age with a penis is not all it’s cracked up to be. Here are some of the difficulties that many men encounter when it comes to their bodies, sexuality and gender identities:
Penis size
I have never met a man who hasn’t at least one time in his life felt insecurities around the size of his penis. Pornography, which happens to be many young men’s initiation into sex, portrays an unrealistic expectation of the size of an average man’s penis. This, along with the constant influence in the media saying that to have a small penis means you cannot properly please a woman means that many men feel that they are not good enough in the size department. Penises come in such unique shapes and sizes that to compare any penis to the ones you see in porn really is quite wrong.
Performance anxiety
Many men are taught to please women. They must kiss, lick and f**k their woman right or there is something wrong with them. Being a great lover is so much more than performance and by getting caught up in the idea that they have all these things they need to do to make a woman happy in the bedroom means they can actually miss out on the experience. Connection, presence and respect just some of the qualities of great love making happens when a man is embodied. It doesn’t happen when he is in his mind, worrying about his performance and in his mind thinking about what he needs to do to give her multiple orgasms. Besides, thinking that you’re the only reason for your woman’s pleasure is disempowering to her and big headed of you… just saying!
Inability to disguise their turn on
As a woman, I take great pride in the fact that I can walk around turned on with no evidence except for a cheeky smile and glowing face. Men on the other hand have to deal with the fact that they have something reminiscent of a tent pole reaching out of their pants when they are very aroused. This, along with the fact that it can “strike out” at any given moment means they have something to worry about that us women could never comprehend. I’m not saying that there is anything to be ashamed of if this was to happen to you gentlemen, I just mean that having a penis with sometimes a mind of his own can be extremely vulnerable and exposing.
I know I’ve mentioned a few points that may seem like having a penis is a burden however plenty of men appear to get so much pleasure and enjoyment out of their genitals so it would seem that the benefits certainly out way the difficulties!! You should definitely have a read of amazing facts about the penis that’ll blow your mind to get to know your body more!
So how does a woman get to experience the totality of what it feels like to have a penis?
The answer is you could never experience it fully but there are some ways you can come to understand what it’s like to have your genitals so exposed…enter the strap on!!
I have recommended women try on a strap on sex toy at least once in their lives to feel what it’s like to have a cock bobbing out between their legs. It is such a bizarre feeling to have it all hanging out compared to female genitals which are neatly tucked away. When you wear a strap on, you can gain an understanding of why many men are so driven by sex… they have a constant reminder of it all day every day!
It may sound silly but I really feel women can gain a great deal of insight into what it is like to be a man by the simple act of wearing a strap on. To take it one step further, perhaps the special someone in your life would be happy for you to try it out for real… I’m sure you’ll come to agree that men make hip thrusting seem so much easier than it actually is!!! And feeling the power to penetrate that comes with having a “penis” truly is not something to take lightly. I believe more compassion for men can come when we really get what it feels like to have a penis even if it is made from silicone.
Author: Stephanie Curtis, Sexologist
Explore Stephanie Curtis’s profound insights! A caring sexologist, she delves into spirituality, tantra with professional, articulate, interesting articles.