8 Things to Discuss with Your Partner before Engaging in Strap-on Sex

This probably isn’t your first time having sex with your partner. But it is your first time talking about strap-on sex. It’s great that you’re interested in exploring different sexual activities, but it’s also important to talk to your partner beforehand. Not everyone likes surprises, and when it comes to sex, those surprises won’t necessarily end well. Talking to your partner before trying out a new activity in the bedroom will give them time to process and decide if it’s something they’d like to do. Sitting down for a strapon chat is crucial, but what are you going to talk about? Here are eight topics to discuss with your partner before having strap-on sex.

 

Have they tried it before?

Unless you ask, you don’t know. Maybe your partner has already tried strap-on sex before. If so, ask them how they felt about it and their experience. Their past experience has a lot to do with how they feel about strap-on sex in general. If they had a negative experience, then they may not be up to try it again. Knowing their history with strap-on sex will give you a better idea of how to approach the subject.

 

Do they want to try strap-on sex?

Before you even think about anything else, you need to get their consent. Is your partner even interested in strap-on sex? Though you may want to give it a try, it doesn’t mean they share the same interests. Before ordering your strap-on kit, sit down with your partner, and see how they feel about this. Enthusiastic consent is essential. If they’re not excited to try it, then don’t push the subject further.

 

Their thoughts about it

You need to know how they honestly feel about trying it out. Your partner deserves a chance to express their feelings. Yes, you brought it up, which is courageous, but if this is an equal relationship, then they need to be able to speak their mind. Who knows how they feel; perhaps they’re curious to give it a try, but they’re scared. Or, they could be entirely on board with the idea.

 

What are their boundaries?

Remember, sex is different for everyone. Though you may be more open about strap-on sex, your partner may not share the same feelings. If they’ve agreed to give strap-on sex a try, then the next step is discussing the boundaries. Since they’ve never tried strap-on sex before, their boundaries may not be solidified. But, there may be some acts which are off-limits for them. Regardless, a safeword should be picked beforehand; giving both people an out if one of you reaches a discomfort.

 

Why you want to try it

There are many reasons why people want to try strap-on sex. Some are curious, others are interested in a role reversal, and others want to try a sexual taboo. It doesn’t matter why you want to explore strap-on sex, but you should explain your reason to your partner. It’s very easy for people to assume the reason their partner wants to try strap-on sex has something to do with their lack of sexual performance. Make sure your partner knows exactly why you want to give strap-on sex a try.

 

Talk about the fears involved

Up until now, strap-on sex was seen as a taboo. This is because there are a lot of myths surrounding it. For example, men who enjoy strap-on sex are gay, strap-on sex is really painful, if a woman likes it she’s secretly a lesbian, and so on. So, your partner may be curious to try strap-on sex, but these myths may be preventing them from trying it out. By talking about these fears and discussing them with your partner, you’ll put these fears to rest.

 

The importance of communication

Even though you’re excited about trying strap-on sex, you’re probably a little nervous as well. And this is completely normal when trying something new. However, the difference between a positive and negative experience is communication. If your partner is interested in giving it a try, then you two need to agree on communicating during the experience. If you’re not expressing what’s feeling good or bad, it can ruin future experiences.

 

Respect their boundaries

If your partner isn’t into strap-on sex, you need to respect their decision. Sometimes people just need space to think it over, in that case, give them the space they need. Strap-on sex could be overwhelming for them as well, try to start off with small sex toys such as butt plugs or your finger to let them test it out.

 

Strap-on sex can be a great sexual experience, but only if your partner is interested. This is why it’s crucial you sit down with your partner and talk about it. No one said the conversation was going to be an easy one. But regardless of the answer, you’ll be able to learn more about your partner, and vice versa.

 

 

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