Dealing with Infidelity

Cheater in Bedroom

When I was younger I thought that if any partner ever cheated on me then that would be it. Over! Finito!  . I also thought I would never cheat on anyone, ever, ever, ever. One time though I got particularly drunk at a party and kissed someone behind my boyfriend’s back.  I was absolutely mortified, with myself. I was so racked with guilt and remorse. I cried all the next day about what I had done.  Now there was no way on earth my boyfriend of a year and a half and my  first love would ever have found out about it but  I was so inconsolable my mum asked what was wrong, when I told her she just said, you are being silly, just forget about it and make sure you  don’t ever tell him …so of course, I stopped crying and called him immediately.  Anyway, long story short, that was the stupidest thing I could have done. the trust was gone between us and even though he forgave me, he completely didn’t forgive me in the slightest. The lesson here is not only to always listen to your Mum, but also that being unfaithful can happen to anyone and can have different outcomes depending on how you deal with it.

Did you know most marital affairs don’t actually end in Divorce?  They can end up making your bond stronger. In some relationships the stakes can be really high so it is important not to react like I did but maybe step back and examine why it happened in the first place. For instance had I accepted my betrayal may be down to bottle of vodka I had consumed, I may have acted differently.  Keeping it to myself and learning the lesson that doing bad things makes me feel bad would have produced a better outcome.

What constitutes cheating to one might not be the same for the other. While I might think actually having sex is cheating someone else might think sending someone a rude selfie or creating a secret email is enough. It is actually the betrayed person’s views on this that are most important. If you feel that your partner has betrayed you then it is really  up to you to think about what you can do to make the partnership work.

 

Frustated Man
Photo: Dealing with Infidelity – Angry Man

 

The main thing is whatever has come between you, even if it’s a 30 year long affair, it doesn’t have to be the end, as I mentioned it usually isn’t. It feels like the worst thing in the world at the time. Most people would rate it as one of life’s most traumatic events. However  there is always the opportunity to turn a negative into a positive and learn something from what has happened and improve the relationship. It can sometimes even be the case that the very fact you have both survived such an awful thing makes you stronger.   It is good to remember most affairs end. The secrecy and naughtiness is undoubtedly intoxicating and can make you feel so alive, but people are all human and come with baggage that eventually will reveal itself. its easy to get blindsided and choose only  to see the things you want to see. It is easy to be the best person you know you can be on a part time basis.

When you are on the receiving end of a betrayal it can make you begin to doubt everything and question things you previously took for granted. It is important to remember that this happens to so very many people and while you might be thinking ‘how could this happen to me?’ It can be comforting to know that  because it is so common there is a ton of help out there. Even if you are not the type to seek help ordinarily, This is one time when you’re thinking probably isn’t straight and a bit of outside perspective can be  a game changer. It is great to have the emotional support of friends, but they can often see things in black and white and influence your thinking . Sometimes it can be best to keep what has gone on to yourself or even stick to confiding in the type of people that believe that anyone can make a mistake.

If you do decide to make a go of things again then it is going to take time. You can’t just suddenly return to how you were and if it takes a lot longer than you think it is going to then that is normal. there are going to be all sorts of things that come up and rather than throwing the towel in you have to try not to focus on bad events and focus more on whether the relationship is making progress positively in general. It is like going through a breakup. You get over it when you get over it.  Trust is such a hard thing to win back and true forgiveness happens in its own time you can’t force it.

The way to come back from an affair successfully is for both parties to self examine, and acknowledge the part played in what happened. Dwelling on the wrongs that have been done isn’t helpful. Forgiveness is something that has to be authentic and complete. You won’t ever forget of course, nor should you. Learn from the affair,  If we were all the people we become in an affair, we wouldn’t want them in the first place.

 

By Emily a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Review: Lelo Gigi 2

Lelo Gigi 2 Personal Massager

The Gigi 2 a personal massager by adult manufacturer Lelo is apparently one of Lelo’s best selling sex toys. It is not the product of theirs I usually go to when I am recommending their brand and I am not sure why. I think I am always seduced by the come hither motion of the Lelo Mona Wave or the powerful vibrations of the Lelo Ina 2. I thought I would take a closer look at the Lelo Gigi 2 by reviewing the product at an Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre so I can find more about it to get to know it better. I normally find after I have reviewed a sex toy their are usually features and benefits that I can tell the customer.

The Lelo Gigi 2 comes packaged as all Lelo products do, with an unmistakable air of luxury. Lelo are synonymous with luxury and elegance. They are often the benchmark I use to compare all higher end sex toys to find out the quality differences. The sturdy black Lelo gift box is actually perfect for long term storage so that other products to not scratch against it or you can use the black satin pouch. When you open up the Lelo Gigi 2 box, the sex toy is displayed on a foam board tray. Under the foam board tray is a antibacterial sampler, a satin storage pouch, personal lubricant sampler, a charger, a LELO authenticity card and a 1 year Lelo warranty card. Once the 1 year Lelo warranty expires and your sex toy breaks according to the terms and conditions, you can get a 50% off your next Lelo product purchase.

The Lelo Gigi 2 is rechargeable by USB, that is better for the environment than batteries It is a direct plug in socket not a magnet. The Lelo Gigi 2 has a play time of 2 hours and comes with some charge already in in the box which makes it much easier for demonstrations. It also has a 90 day standby time so the toy holds its charge for that long when not in use.  It is waterproof up to a meter, this seems impossible with there being a hole for the charging port, but the port is completely sealed internally. This means you can play in the bath not just the shower and not only that. it means you can be really thorough when cleaning it.

Lelo Gigi 2 Personal Massager
Sex Toy: Lelo Gigi 2

 

Lelo Gigi 2 comes in a range of gorgeous sophisticated colours including turquoise, pink, grey and rose. These colours are illustrated in the image. Lelo Gigi 2 is of course 100% body safe, the handle is ABS plastic and the insert-able shaft is made of the beautifully smooth and silken silicone that is a feature of all of their products. it is the smallest and most discreet of the Lelo insertable massagers, being 4 inches insert-able with a flattened inch wide tip, the shaft is less than an inch in diameter. It is a dual  purpose  massager. Its head is perfectly flattened for clitoral stimulation and a perfect shape  for g spot. It is quite short though so for some g spot fans it might not be their favourite sex toy. The shape isn’t unique, Picobong and Ovo have similar shaped sex toys. The reason it has copycats, is because it is a good idea, further proved by the fact this is the second time Lelo has released the toy and haven’t changed the shape, they have only increased the power.

Lelo Gigi 2 has more power than the original Lelo Gigi but is still very quiet. The Lelo Gigi 2 has 8 modes of vibration and each mode is adjustable so there are endless possibilities. There is a push button wheel well placed on the handle that has a travel lock and is easy to use. The travel lock features means you can take it on your personal adventures locally or on an overseas flight without having to worry about it accidentally turning on. The vibrations are rumbly. They would ordinarily be described as powerful if sampled in isolation, however, other Lelo sex toys are stronger. The Lelo Mona 2 is much stronger if it is intensity you seek.

Lelo Gigi 2 is a very appealing all round good sex toy and won’t disappoint. I can see why lot’s of people would love it. It is stylish and sleek and the thing about it is , and its main selling point is that  you couldn’t really “not” like it.

 

By Emily a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre

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Review: Silicone Face Fucker Gag

Silicone Face Fucker Gag #2 Dildo

Fetish Fantasy sex toys are created by the Pipe Dream manufacturer. Fetish Fantasy has created a range of Silicone Face Fuckers in three different style choices including: Silicone Face Fucker Gag #1, #2 and #3. They are made in the colour black displaying it as quite a masculine, strong product for some serious bedroom fun. They are great for couples in the bondage, BDSM and fetish scene as they work as a mouth gag to. They are also great for couple’s who would love to experience something completely different or to fulfill that fantasy of someone using your face to fulfill their sexual desires.

Silicone Face Fucker Gag #1 is a sex new developed sex toy can be used mutually in couple where the man hold this toy in his face while his girl enjoys the this device as a dildo fixed at his boys face. It is made up of pure silicon material to have a real feel while penetrating it inside the vagina. These devices consist of a silicon band which will be wrapped up along the face. It is benefited to both the partners in the naughty sexual act.

Along with the silicon band it has silicon anal beads to be used as a dildo for vagina. Is comes with adjustable bands as well as beads can be adjusted according to the need. The main use of this product is to make your girl fuck near your face then cum through out of your face. You can experience close look of fucking of your girl. Silicone Face Fucker Gag #1 is mostly used by couples to do some new moves for sexual intimacy.

These devices are very much safe for practice as the silicon material is nontoxic as well as make you feel like fucking in real. Many varieties of this kind of devices are available in the market. You can easily clean it after the act with special cleaner available for this to get maximum pleasure each time you use it. It also comes very much cheaply as compared with other devices of such kind. The face fucker will give you a new kind of sexual feel and also makes your act very much funny where the ladies will be more benefited to fuck the face of their man. Generally 2 beads are used in the device for convenience by both partners. So keep try new products to feel more.

 

Silicone Face Fucker Gag #3 Pipedream
Sex Toy: Silicone Face Fucker Gag #3

 

Silicone Face Fucker Gag #2 is a sex toy can be used by both sexes to have fetish fantasy. This device some in pure form of silicone for best result without any allergic reactions or any kind of other problems. This device is normally worn by the male guys to make their girl fuck their face where the band is attached to have a fucking feel like fucking a dildo. The male will get an opportunity to see her girls pussy fucking in very much nearby distance ten can get to taste the cum of her girls which make the sexual performance for sexy and incredible.

This is a kind of dildo which is to be wrapped on your partners face to use it. Then ladies can fuck the silicon device near the face of their man. To make is more toxic free it is made with pure silicone which is also phthalates free so as to use it safely. This can be brought from almost all adult store out their near you and also comes cheaply like near about 30 bucks.

Silicone Face Fucker Gag #2 has got mutual benefits where both the partner can make fun through the sex toy with lots of sexual motives. This face fucker gag come in adjustable type which can be adjusted according to the use and the size of the face to make it work effectively so as to get maximum sexual pleasure from it as desired to get it while thinking of using a new product. So the designers considered all tiny bits to make it more reliable for ease in use. These bands consist of butt plug where the girl will fucker through her pussy. This is totally made of soft silicone looking like a rubber dildo. So use your partner to fuck his face.

 

Feminism: Clearing the Confusion

Woman Astronaut We can do it

It’s a complex world, and it’s an ever changing world. As humans progress through life and existence, our free will and our thoughts are constantly being challenged as we grow and these challenges help us learn and develop. In turn, these thoughts grow into new ones and as a result society, and how we operate as a collective species, is a constantly evolving process towards the idea of a perceived perfection of humanity. There will never be perfection though, despite our vanity in trying to achieve it. The thing is, that humans have been engaging in, and debating, philosophical thought since humans could converse, and this is a fundamental aspect as to how we learn and grow collectively; through discussions. Discussions played an enormous role in Ancient Greek culture from Plato, to Aristotle – philosophers whose thoughts on the social structure and humanity are still being discussed today. This article has not the scope to discuss the history of feminism. Since I identify as a cisgendered queer male, I am limited in my approaches to feminism. Brian Klocke in, Roles of Men with Feminism and Feminist Theory, succinctly puts this setback by making the suggestion that i, as a male who benefits from a patriarchal world, simply cannot escape the power and privilege that I am granted in contrast to women. Whilst he stops short of echoing The Second Sex’s feminist and philosopher author, Simone de Beauvoir’s argument that i cannot be an outright feminist due to the inherent differences between male and female, he does argue that since the goal of feminism is liberating women that ‘men must be a part of the struggle’. Feminism is therefore argued to be an intrinsic part of the patriarchy, and they rely on each other to change and grow. Through my identification of Queer which is also subject to the oppression of mainstream society, I can find myself in a different perspective to understand feminism whilst acknowledging that that position is not empathetic or comparable to feminism. With that in mind – let’s aim to simplify the following questions; What role do men play in feminism and how does such a role within feminism affect men?

Feminism has been one such political thought that has transgressed through the ages, and it has been in both a constant state of evolution as well as existing in a state of conflicting confusion. Why is the concept of feminism deemed to be so confusing then, and why is it considered to be a dirty word? Lynne Segal in ‘Why Feminism?: Gender, Psychology, Politics’ (1999) suggests that while groupings of women have similar issues when it comes to an economic front (Pay inequality) , or on social policy (Welfare resources) they are actually fractured when it comes to uniting around issues of sexuality and the meanings that society attach to the female body. The reason for this is remarkably simple, each individual woman has far different experiences to each other when it comes to how they are female, how they perform as females, their relationship to their own bodies, and the relationship from that body to society. This difference might stem from a cultural (mis)understanding, from a difference in race, sexuality, or even class. Therefore a woman with an upbringing in America is going to have different values, opinions and experiences than an indigenous Australian woman, a woman raised in Asia, and a woman brought up in an African Tribe. Feminism is thus often thought of as confusing because of the broadness of its application and the way that, like most political thoughts, it is interpretable to different individuals within society based on such factors such as class, race, sexuality, and religion. Feminism has ultimately, at times, applied as an umbrella term, and often erroneously used as a platform of privilege for a cis gendered white woman. This is primarily what separates the different waves of feminism and also why it is often critiqued; it is perceived to have a flaw in regards to the level of inclusivity – one experience is not, and should not be, representative of all. Feminism, like Queer Theory, has often been criticised for being under representative and for failing to be inclusive to all, this has resulted in sub-sections of feminism (and queer theory) which deviates from the normal aims of the movement. These deviations often receive negative commentary as to the extremist views of which they contain and ultimately serve to diminish, and often tarnish, the original aim of the movement. It is through this media representation which causes the most misunderstandings of feminist theory, and results in people of both sexes becoming disgruntled at a movement designed to benefit them.

In all philosophical, religious and social groups, there are a myriad of different interpretations. However, there usually exists three main interpretations, moderate, conservative, and extremist. One of the main points when it comes to the interpretation of feminism is a mass media tendency to lean towards sensationalist extremist views despite them representing only a small fraction of the contemporary feminist movement (hooks, 2004), which often drown out the crux of the movement. Mulloy, in his book ‘American Extremism: History, politics and the militia movement’ (2004) struggles to pin down the definition of extremist views. He advocates that extremism, like many political concepts is difficult to define due to the understanding that it is a relativistic term and therefore relies on social context in order to make it extreme. By that it is meant that extreme implies that it is against something else in a profound way, thereby allowing it to be subjected to the process of ‘othering’ (J. Lacan, Freud, Hegel) – allowing a platform for the dichotomy of them vs us. In other words, something can only be deemed extreme, if there is something for it to be considered extreme against. The dichotomy of them vs us, is a concept which Nina Huynh states allows for the dehumanisation of society and social structure whilst simultaneously operating as ‘psychological impulse’ (Jeff Havens, 2015) behind everything that we do as humans. We, as humans, must be in a constant state of struggling against each other for growth, and learning.

Why does Mulloy attach such a tentative approach to the definition of extremism? Well, the belief is that a political movement may start out to be considered extremist but it may over time establish a presence within the political and social sphere and ultimately become established as normal or moderate thought. Feminism is an example of this – through constant advocating, the aims of feminism has in parts been achieved since its philosophical creation. It has been brought from the fringes of social to mainstream thought. This often arduous process occurs as social and political change, which can occur quickly through a revolution, or over an extended period of time through politicking, advocacy and the momentum of public support. Thus, if we loosely define Extremism as going beyond ‘limits’ then obviously someone must be held accountable for defining those limits, granting power to mainstream political and social thought which would define ‘extremism’ as a sense of ‘other’; or simply extremism will be viewed as something outside the accepted norms of thinking.

 

Adam Ellis Feminism
Cartoon Adam Ellis Buzz Feed

 

If we therefore currently exist within a patriarchal world, then it makes sense for some men to automatically dismiss the notion of feminism as being irrelevant, or being of extremist thought. This occurs for two reasons; firstly owing to the idea that as men benefit from a patriarchal world, that they do not have the capacity to see how it disadvantages others. Secondly, because some feminist thought is seen as being of an ‘extremist’ nature. This issue is compounded by the idea that it is often the extremist thought which gathers the most media attention, automatically alienating men from feminism before fully understanding what it is about. Feminism, even though it is the face of women driving it, actually benefits men, and ultimately masculinity, in profound and positive ways that are often ignored or not attributed to the effects of feminism. Today thankfully, men that identify as being pro-feminist are involved for a mutual benefit – as opposed to a social selfishness. What society doesn’t necessarily understand, according to Klocke, is that there is an intrinsic relationship between feminism and masculinity; whilst many people believe that masculinity is separate from feminism the reality is that although feminism’s aim is to free women from the social constructs of femineity, it also by default, frees men from the constructions of masculinity. The dichotomy of masculinity and feminism through its performance in society and through its definitions change as each philosophy reacts and pulses to each other.

Despite this, many people both men and women, feel that feminism is a dirty word – to the extent where people refused to label themselves for fear of social judgement. That mentality and sentiment is slowly changing – in part due to the perceptions of society, as well as numerous celebrities and grassroots social campaigns throwing their hearts behind the word and advocating for change. Lauren Ferguson, a queer writer and student at The University of Texas, comments on the idea of feminist and feminism as being a set of bad words. Her article ‘When did ‘Feminist’ Become a Bad Word?: Women Rejecting Feminism’ sees her recounting a recent discovery on tumblr, a page titled Women Against Feminism. She argues that the pages misogynistic views, are not representative of feminism and she suggests that through their ‘radically misinformed reasoning’s’ that they have misunderstood the notion of feminism. She acknowledges, like other academics and philosophers, that the notion of feminism remains largely vague and undefined. The liberating thing about feminism, she states, is the potential for it to mean markedly different things for different individuals, and as such it becomes a difficult thing to find an answer as to what feminism means for people. Thus, so far we have determined the difficulty in pinning down precisely what feminism is, and the reasons for the difficulty in pinning it down. The aim of this article is not to pin down a definitive definition of feminism, but to provide multiple definitions of it, as well as explore the relationship between feminism and men. This brings us neatly to the point that if feminism is ultimately affecting women differently, and is interpretable by women, what effect is feminism having on both men and the patriarchy?

By and large, when examining patriarchy in a modern context we run into the same conflict as feminism – a profound inability to define it. At its simplest form it is defined as male domination and the subordination of women, and it has become a central theme to feminist theory since Kate Millets Sexual Politics (2000). Indeed, an understanding and dismantling of patriarchy is the key analytical concept for the development of feminist politics. There are arguments which suggest that a patriarchal society no longer exists as an explicit and outright effort to dominate women. The modern patriarchy is a product of ideological legacy where the crux of the patriarchal argument no longer exists within a modern society; that argument being a belief in that the natural biological differences between men and women, gave them a right to dominate and oppress women. This fall of the patriarchal society is discussed by John Macinnes in ‘The End of Masculinity: The confusion of Sexual Genesis and Sexual Difference in Modern Society’ and he brings forth the conflict that plagues the idea of patriarchy and feminism today; if a man could be considered superior to another female, then couldn’t they also be found to be more superior to another male? This issue was brought about through the rise of feminism, and the advent of masculinity, both concepts that dealt with, and ultimately began to dismantle, the discourses of the patriarchy. Through feminism, the concepts of masculinity was developed as a way to describe the reactions and behaviour of men within society. A point which Lydia Sargent brought forward over twenty years prior to Macinnes where she makes the point that the patriarchy doesn’t just affect the relationship between men and women, but that it also reinforces a notion of ‘hierarchical control’ (1981) between men and other men, and many feminists neglect this point.

It is often acknowledged that people still use the patriarchy for the purpose of dominating, but generally in the Western World, It is actually considered a social construct and system which has been in place for so long that people are ultimately born into it and through current systems of being, will participate in unconsciously. That is why there are so many attempts to dismantle gendered thinking; the consumer backlash against retail companies which still gender their products, sexist advertising and so on. It is through understanding the system, and acknowledging the system that it can be brought down, and it needs to be brought down, not just because academics understand that Capitalism and Patriarchy cannot coexist, but for the equality of all individuals within society. By saying that, it needs to be acknowledged that this is not a dismissal or excusing the idea of people still abusing the ideologies of the patriarchy but rather, that anyone of a gendered identity has the ability to perpetuate the idealogies and fundamentals of the patriarchy, with the acknowledgement that the societal benefits are for the most part, reaped by male identifying individuals. By taking this viewpoint, it’s easy to see why US feminist bell hooks has stated that ‘patriarchy has no gender’ and how closely the idea of patriarchy, and ultimately masculinity, are subject to the understanding and growth of feminism.

 

Bibliography

Beauvoir, S. D. (1989). The second sex. New York: Vintage Books.

Ferguson, L. (2014). When did ‘Feminist’ Become a Bad Word?: Women Rejecting Feminism. Retrieved September 23, 2016, from http://feminineinquiry.com/when-did-feminist-become-a-bad-word-women-rejecting-feminism/

Freud, S. 1921c. Group Psychology and the Analysis of the Ego (Standard ed.). London: Hogarth Press.

Havens, J. (n.d.). Us vs. them: Redefining the multi-generational workplace to inspire your employees to love your company, drive innovation, and embrace change.

Hegel, G. W., & Baillie, J. B. (1967). The phenomenology of mind. New York: Harper & Row.

Hooks, B. (2004). The will to change: Men, masculinity, and love. New York: Washington Square Press.

MacInnes, J. (1998). The end of masculinity: The confusion of sexual genesis and sexual difference in modern society. Buckingham: Open University Press.

Millett, K. (2000). Sexual politics. Urbana: University of Illinois Press.

Klocke, B. (2015, January/February). Roles of Men with Feminism and Feminist Theory. Retrieved September 21, 2016, from http://nomas.org/roles-of-men-with-feminism-and-feminist-theory/

Lacan, J. 1988. The Seminar of Jacques Lacan. Book 2. The ego in Freud’s theory and in the technique of psychoanalysis, 1954-1955. New York: W.W. Norton

Mulloy, D. J. (2004). American extremism: History, politics and the militia movement. London: Routledge.

Sargent, L. (1981). Women and revolution: A discussion of the unhappy marriage of Marxism and feminism. Boston, MA: South End Press.

Segal, L. (1999). Why feminism?: Gender, psychology, politics. New York: Columbia University Press.

Written and Researched by Stephen S.

Beginner Anal Play Products

Pipedream Anal Products

I have recently had many customers wanting to try anal play for the first time in their lives. Those were mostly straight guys coming into the store with their wives/girlfriends and they were a bit intimidated by the size and variety of anal toys. If they had known about the orgasms by prostate stimulation, they would have regretted that they were being too late for anal play. Better late than never though.

Firstly, if you are sure that you want to experience your first anal play with a vibrating toy this article will not be an answer to your questions. I am planning to talk about three different Anal Play Kits which are non-vibrating from 3 different well-known companies on the market. Of course, we have a wide range of vibrating butt plugs in the shop as well, so either stay tuned for the next articles or come into the store to get informed by our lovely team. The latter is more favourable though. I am not going to tell you how to use the toys, yet I must say that the most important things in anal play are to be slow, get aroused madly and use plenty of lubricant. Otherwise, you won’t enjoy the feeling and will end up having a frustrating experience. We don’t want it to be happening to you. So, if we are happy with those rules, let’s move into today’s staff recommendations on anal play.

1. Beginner’s Fantasy Kit Anal Fantasy Collection by Pipedream
This kit is comprised of 5 different anal toys and 2 auxiliary products. The material used in the toys is a mixture of PVC, ABS Plastic and Nylon. At first glance, this may seem as a drawback, yet the toys are completely phthalate free, body safe and you are free to use any kind of lubricant with them. The distinctive feature of this kit is its variety of the products inside the package anyway. So, let’s have a closer look at them.
  • Classix Prostate Stimulator: This toy is to hit your P-spot very well with its curved bulbous shaped tip and textured shaft. It has 11.4 cm insertable length with 3.8 cm width and a little protrusion aiming for your perineum at the same time. There is a handle at the bottom for easy grip which will be pretty useful for new starters. The toy itself is very firm and not bendable at all which makes the insertion easy.
  • Beads: There are 5 beads having a diameter of 2 cm which are connected to each other with a cord and there is a ring at the end to pull the beads out easily. The cord seems pretty strong so don’t worry about the possibility of rupture.
  • Beaded Probe: Beads are a bit bigger than the previous one (a diameter of 2.5 cm in average) and it is a complete probe this time. It has 10 beads (28 cm) which are in decreasing order in diameter. The beads are firm but the probe itself is bendable enough to find the correct spot to hit.
  • Finger Sleeve: This sleeve is 7.6 cm in length and 2.5 cm in width which will fit either your index or middle finger, at least fits mine perfectly. It has nubs on it, so fingering yourself has not been joyful this much before.
  • Plug: This little plug would be my first choice to try if I bought this kit. It is 9.5 cm in length and 2.5 cm in width. The material is not that firm and the toy itself is bendable enough. Additionally, flared base at the bottom prevents the toy from going further in your rectum.
The kit comes with 2 gloves, toy cleaner, anal desensitizing cream, lubricant and 2 rubber finger sleeves which are almost everything you need to have a happy ending.
2. Anal Trainer Kit Colt Gear by California Exotic Novelties
Anal Trainer Butt Plugs
Sex Toys: Anal Trainer Kit Colt Gear by California Exotic Novelties
Most parents buy their children shoes or jackets one size bigger to use them in the following year as well till their kids stop growing. This kit reminds me of that due to its gradually increasing size of plugs. The kit includes 3 different butt plugs which are made of rubber but no latex and phthalate free. Each of them has flared base to use them without any hesitation about losing toys inside rectum. The smallest one is 10.25 cm in length and 2.5 cm at its widest point, which is simply the very bottom of the toy. The medium butt plug is 12 cm long with a diameter of 3.25 cm at the widest point again. These two plugs are suitable for new starters for sure as the tapered tip with thin insertion is not intimidating at all for a newbie. On the other hand, whilst the material is firm, the toy itself is bendable enough especially compared to the toys from Anal Fantasy Kit. When it comes to the third one; apparently, this is not for a beginner. The largest butt plug has 15.25 cm insertable length with a diameter of 4.5 cm so I would rather say this plug is perfect for the ones who enjoyed the course Introduction to Anal Play 101 and want to attend the course Anal Play for Intermediates 102 in the second semester for further insertions. The professor at university is the same and the exams will be held anally again. So, there is no reason not to get A+ climax in the following course as well.

2. Anal Explorer Kit by California Exotic Novelties

Anal Douche and Sex Toys
Sex Toy: Anal Explorer Kit by California Exotic Novelties
There are two things making this kit different from its counterparts which are the material selection and the douche included in the kit. I think putting a douche into an anal play kit is a good idea in terms of beginners who are afraid of uncleanliness of the area. Shortly, a douche is used to clean your rectum before anal penetration and there are many types of douches on the market for the convenience of the users. The one in the kit is the simplest douche though which is a squeezable bulb and its thin attachment for comfy insertion. Simply, fill it with warm water (not too cold, not too hot) inset the tip into your anus gently after lube it up. Squeeze the bulb so that the water can go into your rectum, hold it for 20-30 seconds then release it into the toilet. Repeat the procedure till the fresh water comes out. For further information, you can refer to other articles on our blog pertinent to this topic.
On the other hand, there are two different butt plugs in the kit which are made of silicone body safe material. One of them is a graduated beads probe with a hook at the bottom which allows you to grip the toy easily and prevents the toy from going further in your rectum. It is 11.5 cm in length and its curved shape aims to hit P-spot perfectly. The other one is a tapered probe with suction cup at the bottom. It has 10.75 cm insertable length and its flared base makes your penetration safe. Both are suitable for beginners to take them to the next step.

After all these things, I should say that I would buy number three if I was a beginner but I am not, and every person is different, so is every arse. Make your own choice freely because you can’t go wrong with any of those products above for sure.

By Goki a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres
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