What Makes Up Your Sexual Personality?

Women in Lingerie Photo

Have you ever wondered What Makes Up Your Sexual Personality and whether it is unique? In response to this question, erotic lifestyle coach Dr Nancy Sutton Pierce said:

“Sexual personalities are similar to fingerprints; we each have them, but they are all uniquely different. We don’t question our fingerprints or attempt to change them. We accept them without question.”

Your sexual personality is made up of your personality traits, sexual education, sexual orientation and fetish interests.

Personality Traits: Extroversion vs Introversion

A German psychologist named Hans Eysenck did a study on sex and personality. He had found that different personality types have differing levels of access to sexual opportunity which can effect views on sex.

  • Extroversion: Someone who is extroverted may be loud, optimistic and bubbly in character. They may be able to experience one night stands at a higher rate due to the increased opportunities of meeting larger amounts of people. They will also be more likely to explore different sex positions and fetishes.
  • Introversion: Someone who is introverted may meet lower amounts of people. Some introverts may choose to say more meaningful things when they speak so they can easily create sexual relationships based upon deeper intimate connections.

Sexual Education: Adult Movies, Schooling and Parenting

Sexual education can play a big part on how people interact with their sexual partners. People learn about sex from adult movies, their schooling system and parents.

  • Adult Movies: If someone had gained their sexual education through adult movies they may have developed unrealistic expectations of what sex is. Some of their expectations may include extra large penis sizes, a large amount of vocal responses to receiving sexual pleasure and they may expect sex to lack an emotional connection. They may be more prone to have sex for purely pleasurable reasons.
  • Schooling: Sex education can teach people methods to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of sexual infections. Education can help people look at sex from a logical approach where the preparation of sex is an important factor within their lifestyle.
  • Parenting: If a parent or guardian decide to talk about sex in a positive manner, it can help a person be more open to discuss sex.

Sexual Orientation

Sexual orientation is an important factor which can tell us the genders people are attracted to and their level of sexual desire. The Kinsey Scale was created in 1948 to help people understand their sexuality level based upon a rating scale of heterosexual to homosexual. It provides 7 different sexuality ratings including:

  • Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual.
  • Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual.
  • Predominantly heterosexual but more than incidentally homosexual.
  • Equally heterosexual and homosexual.
  • Predominantly homosexual but more than incidentally heterosexual.
  • Predominantly homosexual and only incidentally heterosexual.
  • Exclusively homosexual with no heterosexual.

 

The Kinsey Scale Image
Image: What makes up your sexual personality? – The Kinsey Scale

 

The newest rating scale was created by a man named Landon Parks which is called the Purple-Red scale which is used to accurately describe a person’s sexuality. It includes the sexual orientation as well as the level of attraction. Landon Parks said:

“Not only are there sexual and asexual people, there are different kinds of sexual people as well. I thought of adding a second dimension to Kinsey’s scale to represent different levels of attraction. The scale was designed to provide a quick and easy way of scoring a person’s view of relationships on forums and dating sites. Attraction type is every bit as important as orientation. We see it all the time: John wants sex, sex, sex, while Jane doesn’t have the feeling right away.”

 

Langdon Parks - Purple Red Scale of Attraction Image
Image: What makes up your sexual personality? – Langdon Parks, Purple Red Scale of Attraction

 

Fetish Interests

Some people are more prone to have a sexual fetish than others. Looking into why you may have a fetish can help you understand how your sexual personality type was created.

  • Networks within the brain: Research from the V.S. Ramachandran, Ph.D., of the University of California, San Diego said that our brain networking paths can cross with other areas. For example, your genitals can overlap with emotions, impulses and the functioning of body parts. This means we can find ourselves attracted to different fetishes depending on how our brains have developed. You can also develop new networks and connections within your brain. This can happen if you perform a certain task repeatedly. For example, if you watch adult movies that feature your favourite adult star, you may develop fetishes based upon what they do. If the adult star in the movie were to wear boots all the time, you may subconsciously develop an arousal to boots.
  • Levels of sexual arousal  and disgust: When people are sexually aroused their level of disgust drops. This means that thing’s which had previously repulsed them may not affect them as much when they are having sex. For example, before a person may have not liked spit but when they engage in sex they may enjoy the use of a lot of spit.
  • Your sexual response to pain: Some people are able to feel pleasure from experiencing painful experiences. If they do, they may be more likely to enjoy BDSM activities.

 

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VIP Interview with Andrew Christian

Andrew Christian Photo

Andrew Christian creates designer men’s underwear that are all made in America from environmentally friendly material. Andrew started designing clothes from the young age of fifteen. When he was nineteen, he moved to Los Angeles, California to follow his dreams and attend fashion school. In 1997, he created his own men’s underwear range named “Andrew Christian” that is now available to purchase worldwide. This is a VIP Interview with Andrew Christian and sexpert from The Adultsmart Health and Sexuality Blog, which will look into who he is, what inspires him, what he is most proud of and much more!

Tell me about yourself

I have been designing ever since I can remember. I created a lot of my own designs in high school for myself and my friends. At the age of fifteen I knew that design was my passion and what I wanted to do for a living.

What are the most memorable quotes that inspire you?

There are so many quotes in Sex=Power=Freedom that I find inspiring. One of my favorites is

“Total sexual power is complete control over yourself and the freedom to make your own choices.”

Another one of my favorites from my book is

“Love is the only way to invoke positive change.”

I think about both of these a lot when I’m creating new designs.

Who is your role model?

I have been a huge fan of Madonna since I was a small child growing up in Fresno, California. Growing up in a small town where I didn’t quite fit in, Madonna was my connection to the outside world. I knew that there was something bigger and better for me if I pursued my artistic vision for design. Madonna is an inspiration because of her constant drive to innovate, create, and never give up. When I was starting my company it was really difficult at times — there were many times I wanted to give up, but I thought to myself:

“What Would Madonna Do?”

This gave me the courage to continue and achieve the success I have today.

What are your favourite accomplishments?

The Sex=Power=Freedom book is a passion project of mine. It’s something that I’ve wanted to undertake for several years, and I am extremely proud of how it turned out. I knew that now was the right time to publish my book because of the political climate that America is in right now. Sex=Power=Freedom gives voice to the beliefs that I hold dear in my heart. I’m glad that my book can also lift people up and that I can be a voice for them.

Sex Power Freedom Image
Banner: VIP Interview with Andrew Christian – Sex Power Freedom

What is the company story behind the inspiration, creation and development of Andrew Christian products?

I find inspiration from many places, including my own wants and needs in a pair of underwear. I also like to take into consideration my customers’ lifestyle and needs and how my products can be most useful to them. My models are also a big part of my inspiration. They give me feedback on how the items fit their bodies and their lifestyles. I spend a lot of time with them professionally and personally — I guess you could consider them my muses.

What does your company value the most?

My goal is to make people feel sexy and confident about themselves. It is always so gratifying to meet people who proudly wear Andrew Christian underwear because they like the way they look in them. The fact that I can bring happiness to people in that way is really gratifying to me.

How does your company define and measure success?

We at Andrew Christian want people to like our underwear. It is always my hope that each new collection will do better than the last. We’re one of the top underwear companies in the business right now, and I am always grateful for that. I measure my success based on how people feel about my collections.

 

FUKR Advertising Image
Banner: VIP Interview with Andrew Christian – FUKR

 

How many pieces of underwear have you sold? What locations around the world do you sell them?

I’ve sold countless pairs of underwear since I started designing in 1997. I sell my brand in hundreds of stores all around the world. Besides our own boutiques, I also sell in luxury department stores like Nordstrom, Selfridges, and Kadewe.

What do you love most about your brand compared to other companies?

Andrew Christian has a little bit of everything. We have so many different collections that cater to so many different people – gay or straight. I’m constantly going outside of my comfort zone when I’m designing new styles, and it’s something that I think makes us stand out among other underwear designers out there.

What are the most memorable quotes that you have heard about the Andrew Christian underwear range?

One of the most memorable quotes I ever heard was from a fan/customer I met in Seattle a few years ago. He said:

“Andrew Christian Underwear changed my life”.

He then further explained that he used to weigh 300 lbs, and he had lost 120lbs just so he could fit into Andrew Christian Underwear. It’s a true honor that I could have a positive impact on someone’s life and health through my designs.

If you could pick just two pieces of underwear from your product range, what would you choose and why?

My favorite pair of underwear is the Almost Naked brief. I have them in so many colors in my closet. You would be amazed to see my underwear drawer at home. Other than that, I would have to choose the new FUKR slick brief. They’re so different than the Almost Naked. They’re so different than anything that I have made before. They stand out on their own.

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How & Why Do People Cheat?

Unhappy Couple in Bed Photo

Cheating is a destructive event that can happen within any relationship. It is important to be aware that people have different definitions on what cheating means to them. For example, some people believe flirting is an innocent act whilst other people may feel that it is a sign of much more.

Types of Cheating

There are different types of cheating including:

  • Physical Cheating: Physically cheating is when a person within a relationship engages in a sexual activity with another person outside of the relationship. It could include engaging in physical activities like hugging, kissing, foreplay, dry humping, oral sex and penetrative sex.
  • Emotional Cheating: Emotional cheating can begin harmlessly. It may start off with someone intimately talking about problems within their lifestyle to another person outside of the relationship. These two people can begin to form a strong bond that develops into a sexually charged emotional connection.
  • Sexting: Sexting is when two people sexually flirt via the text messaging system on their mobiles. It can include sending nude photos to each other and dirty talking.
  • Cyber Cheating: Cyber cheating happens when two people develop a passionate relationship online through social networking services. It could include the use of Facebook and dating websites like eharmony. The interactions may at first be flirty but can quickly lead to an intimate development.

How Do You Know If You Are Cheating?

A good way to know whether you have cheated is to understand whether you would tell your partner about the interaction you had with another person. A clinical psychologist, Alicia H. Clark stated:

“Secrecy is a good litmus test—if you wouldn’t tell your partner about the interaction, no matter how ‘innocent’ you think it is, you’re having an affair.”

How & Why Do People Cheat? Photo
Photo: How & Why Do People Cheat? – Cheating Husband and Wife

Reasons Why People Cheat

Everyone already understands that cheating is wrong, so why do people cheat?

  • A person is not committed to the relationship: People are placed in situations where people may flirt with them, which may have never happened to them before. Some people are given the opportunity to cheat and within that moment they are not afraid of the consequences. The feeling of the chase may be more captivating then maintaining a relationship. Alicia H. Clark stated:

    “Novelty is a big player in attraction, and anonymity offers opportunity. Maybe you meet some guy on a plane, and he flirts with you, flatters you, and gives you something you’re not getting in your primary relationship. If you engage in a way that helps you fill whatever void you have in your primary relationship, you’re entering emotional infidelity territory.”

  • People use cheating as an excuse to end the relationship: A person within the relationship may fall out of love. The person looking to leave the relationship may cheat so the relationship ends.
  • A person’s relationship needs are not met: People have different needs within their sex life that only their partner can fulfil. These needs include passion, romance, affection, attention, love, sex and feelings of appreciation. If the needs are not met it can bring on feelings of being taken for granted, loneliness, tension, and neglect. In some cases, they may have asked their partner to try something new to spice their relationship up but the request was ignored. The feelings of sexual exploration, motivation and curiosity can outweigh a boring sex life which can make two people grow apart. Eventually, a person may begin to find another way to get their needs met.
  • The couple does not spend time maintaining the relationship: There are a lot of responsibilities that can get in the way of maintaining a personal relationship. Some things include work, cooking, cleaning and children. Maintaining a relationship is just as important as all of the other responsibilities in our life, people just need to set aside time to spend with each other.
  • Lack of expression and communication within a relationship: People often forgot to tell each other how much they mean to each other or forget to discuss important aspects of their relationship. Lack of communication can mean there was no way for their relationship to grow.
  • A need for self-exploration: When two people spend all their time together, things can grow boring. Sometimes people need personal space to separate themselves from their relationship. Some people look to someone else to help build their own personal identity.
  • Insecurities: Some people are insecure and feel like their partner will cheat on them or their relationship won’t last. Some insecure people cheat first before they get hurt. Because cheating is easier than feeling emotional pain.

 

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How to Orgasm in Your Sleep

Woman Sleeping in Bed Photo

It is a well-known occurrence that men are able orgasm when they are asleep especially when they are experiencing puberty. This is made obvious as they may wake up after they have ejaculated which is known as having a wet dream. But are you aware that women can also have sex dreams that end in an orgasm to? The only difference is that women don’t have any physical evidence that the experience had happened. Experiencing an orgasm in your dreams is nothing new. In 1986, the Journal of Sex Research did a small study on women who were in college. They found that 37% of the women had experienced an orgasm in their dreams.

When you are sleeping an orgasm happens during rapid eye movement (REM). REM sleep allows your brain to react in the same way as if you were awake. The only difference is that your body is paralysed and you may experience a dream. The brain is connected to the nerves in your body which can make the dream feel incredibly real.This is enhanced by increased blood flow that is sent to different areas of your body including your genitals. When it comes to men, the extra blood flow is the reason why they wake up with morning wood and have erections throughout the night. When women wake up in the morning, the clitoris can become bigger, extra sensitive and aroused.

How To Orgasm in Your Sleep - Women Kissing Photo
Photo: How To Orgasm in Your Sleep – Women Kissing

 

If you combine the intensity of having a sex dream with the extra sensitivity of the genitals, you may be able to achieve an orgasm that feels incredibly intense. If you have never experienced an orgasm when you sleep there are certain things you can try including:

  • Fantasise before you sleep: Think yourself to sleep with a sexual fantasy. You will need to do this every night and eventually you may find yourself dreaming about the fantasy. Since you are in control of the fantasy before you fall asleep, you may be able to naturally control your dream. If this is not the case, you can train yourself to take control of your dream.
  • Find the dream: You will need to be able find a dream that works for you. You can make a dream diary that outlines the type of dreams you experience and how they have physically affected you. After some time, you may be able to notice a dreaming pattern that affects you the most.
  • Understand the difference between reality and a dream: If you are aware of the type of sex dream you experience, the more likely you will be able to pick up that you are in a dream. Dreams are often very different from reality. You will be able to find things that stand out that. For example, maybe you are wearing clothes that you don’t actually own. Maybe there are new people you are interacting with that you don’t actually know in real life. Once you are aware that you are in a dream, you will be able to change your dream and interact with it. This is known as lucid dreaming.
  • Change your sleep position: Sleep on the front of your body in full contact of your bed. Since your genitals will be extra sensitive when you are asleep, the movement of your body will more likely be stimulated through the direct contact. The movement of your body when you are breathing can also stimulate your nipples.

Above all else, what does a sex dream feel like? You find yourself entrapped daydreaming about sex that you will fall asleep to your thoughts. During the sex dream, your need to be relieved from your sexual frustrations can feel extremely intense. You can feel your body naturally reacting to the dream with warmth and sensitivity. As the dream keeps on going, the pleasurable experience intensifies. Until you build up your orgasm and climax. If you orgasm is strong, you will most likely wake up from the dream. You may find yourself breathing heavily, overheated, confused and sometimes your clothes may be twisted together near your genitals. From here you can decide whether you would like to continue masturbating to finish off your orgasm. You can also relax to catch your breath or begin fantasizing again to attempt another orgasm in your sleep.

Some people find it easier to orgasm in their dreams then in real life. Madeleine Castellanos author of “Wanting to Want: What Kills Your Sex Life” said:

 “I’ve had women in my practice who were not able to have orgasms with a partner or with masturbation but have had them in their sleep. Think about it, when you have a sex dream, the brain is creating an environment to get to the full level of arousal, and you don’t have to be anxious or distracted. It’s all based on eroticism. So sometimes it might be easier to reach orgasm in your dream than in real life. It’s like a gift from your brain.”

 

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A Look Into Ashley Madison’s Hack

Ashley Madison Website Photo

Ashley Madison is a website that was created as an online dating service which socially networks people who are in long term relationships that want to have affairs whilst keeping their identities a secret. Ashley Madison claims they have over 51,670,000 users from over 45 countries that had joined the website since 2002. Every 20 seconds someone joins their website. Considering there are 7 billion people in the world, these statistics are quite alarming. Some people who use websites like Ashley Madison are looking for sexual relationships or are trying to find a new way to build emotionally connected relationships but they do not want to leave their current relationship. The Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy claims that 50% of women and 60% of men in a marriage may cheat on their partner.

Ashley Madison was hacked on the 15th of July in 2015 by a group of people called “The Impact Team” who wanted their website taken down. They did not just hack the companies user accounts, they also gained access to company emails. Before the details were released publicly, some people received threats that if they did not give $300 worth of bitcoin to them, the data would be shared with their family members. The data released was 9.7 gigabytes in size. It included account details, names, home addresses, mobiles, photos, sexual interests and payment details of all Ashley Madison users. Although some of the information was falsified the user’s payment details displayed their real names. There were also email addresses used from government websites.

Ashley Madison released a statement on the hack which said:

“This event is not an act of hacktivism, it is an act of criminality. It is an illegal action against the individual members of AshleyMadison.com, as well as any freethinking people who choose to engage in fully lawful online activities. The criminal, or criminals, involved in this act have appointed themselves as the moral judge, juror, and executioner, seeing fit to impose a personal notion of virtue on all of society. We will not sit idly by and allow these thieves to force their personal ideology on citizens around the world.”

After the details were released countless newspaper articles were written to help people find out whether their partner had cheated. For example, Wired wrote “How to Check if You or a Loved One Were Exposed in the Ashley Madison Hack“. There were even companies like “Trustify” created dedicated to find out whether your spouse had cheated that used an email address search to find the details. They were used by both the cheaters and people who were looking for information. Danny Boice from Trustify stated:

“Trustify is in the business of finding the truth. We do this in an objective and un-biased way. We don’t intervene in how or why people want the truth or answers, we simply use our investigative pool to provide them.”

 

Current Ashley Madison Website Photo
Photo: Ashley Madison Website

 

In an effort to re-brand themselves Ashley Madison changed their company motto from:

“Ashley Madison – Life is short. Have an affair”

to

“Ashley Madison – Find your moment”

Ashley Madison made profit from men that would pay money to send messages for each new person they would talk to. Their live chat was also paid per amount of time a user would stay on it. The controversy with their payment scheme was that Annalee Newitz from Gizmodo claimed that there were 70,000 bots would interact with people and only 12,000 out of the 5,500,000 women were regular users. It is said that these statistics appear to have no factual evidence. However, there is a terms of service clause that says that there are non human accounts made on the website that are used purely for amusement purposes only. After the hack, Ashley Madison removed all of their bots. Although the people’s intentions were to cheat they were actually suckered out into spending their money.

Another way Ashley Madison had made money from people who used their website was to offer them a $19 fee to permanently delete their profile and all private information that was collected through the use of the website. Even if someone has set up a fake account under your name, you still had to pay the $19 fee. The hack had shown all of the users “permanently deleted” accounts were all recalled.

Ashley Madison was original ran by a parent company named “Avid Life” which was rebranded as “Ruby Life Corp”. They ran a network of dating websites that appeared to be in competition with each other but they were made to take on all areas of dating real estate online. They had developed many websites for specific kinks, ages, weight, race and genders. Their most famous website’s include Cougar Life, Established Men and Arrangement Finders. They had spent a lot of time on building up sugar daddy dating websites. Netflix released a documentary named “Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies and Cyber Attacks” detailing the events of the hack.

 

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