VIP Interview With Walker Thornton – Author & Public Speaker!

Inviting Desires

Thanks for agreeing to look over this interview. We’ll start by introducing yourself as an author, public speaker and Sex Educator. You have a book, Inviting Desire: A guide for women who want to enhance their sex life which celebrates getting in touch with yourself for a sexier you, post-midlife. It does this through the exploration and teachings of self-awareness of your body and the embracing of your own sexuality. Your writings and sexual education focuses on older women, which I think is absolutely amazing. Society sometimes has a tendency to de-sexualise older people because the idea of older people still having a sex life, sex drive, and wanting pleasure and intimacy isn’t something that necessarily crosses our minds after having a family, divorcing or simply getting older.

How important is it, and why is it important, to talk about sex and sexuality post Mid Life?

I think it’s vital that we have the voice of older people talking about sex and sexuality. It’s important that we assist younger adults in confronting ageist assumptions about sex. And I find that many women in their 50’s and up have struggled with their sexuality for decades, or are having challenges adjusting their understanding of their body’s capacity during and after menopause. Because of that there is a need for education and information specifically written for that specific demographic.

You have your own blog, and are active on the public speaking circuit. Did you see yourself as becoming a sex educator and how did you transition in public speaking, and sexual health and education?

Yes, I see myself as an educator, a resource and a cross between mentor and coach. I’ve done lots of public speaking over the years, having worked in non-profits for much of my career where speaking was part of fundraising and increasing visibility. I began writing about my post-divorce dating experiences while working in the field of violence against women and thinking about the lack of education for adults around sexuality. My writing began to shift to reflect what I felt was missing in older women’s websites and other sources of information. I started attending sexuality conferences and speaking about my work and how we could expand the field of sex education to older individuals. Online websites began contacting me to write about midlife sexuality for their e-zines and it bloomed from there.

As someone that was married for over twenty years and having gone through a divorce and started dating again, has the dating game changed, and what advice would you give to people that are dating later in life, might feel that the dating game has changed or even decided to put it in the ‘too hard basket’?

I would advice people to take it slow, first of all. Far too many people rush to find a replacement after divorce or the death of a spouse. I think women need more time to sort out what they want to do next—because we have so many options and being partnered isn’t necessarily the only, or best, option. When I teach dating workshops I suggest making a list of what you’re looking for. If we’re more clear about what we want then we know a little more about how to start our search and who to search for and who to screen out. The dating game has changed and for those of us over 50 it can be a little awkward. Is it hard? Yes. And that also fluctuates depending on your expectations. If people start out looking to meet new friends rather than having a very narrow, set agenda they are likely to have more fun. Some of us may want to spend a period of time alone—but many of us are still ready for fun and sex and romance. Too hard is a mindset kind of them, often fed by misleading ads and boasts of how quickly someone has met the new love of their life. While that may happen it is not the norm.

What’s your go to comfort food?

Well, right now I’m eating Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia out of the carton while I answer questions. If I’m being a bit more sophisticated it might be risotto. Or maybe I’d just put the ice cream in a lovely pottery bowl.

Inviting Desire Book
Midlife Sexual Wellness

A lot of bloggers writing about their sex life, dating, and relationships suffer from burnouts as a result of putting so much of themselves out there. Blogs are often candid, emotional, raw and expose a certain vulnerability. How do you keep yourself mentally healthy and have you experienced burnout / how did you overcome burning out?’

There’s a lot of vulnerability in sharing personal information. I had to decide what I was willing to share with a public audience and as a result I don’t share my sexual experiences in any detail. I think about what my audience needs and wants to hear and tend to write to them. With that in mind I can decide if something I want to write is going to help them or is just me feeling the need to share. I write for a middle-of-the road 45-65 year old heterosexual woman and I know that. Interestingly enough many of my newsletter subscribers and FB followers are middle-aged men. My daily journal is where I’m most likely to write more private details. If I’m asked a question by someone who seems to need some more than just titillating details I might have a more private conversation. Because there is less personal content out there I don’t really experience burnout or other issues that I can imagine some sex bloggers do. I think I’m not really a sex blogger in that regard. My writing is a mix of education, personal story and resources. I also write on topics that are not about sex but relevant for older women trying to change their lives.

You have openly stated that you grew up in an era where women didn’t learn about sex, or their bodies. Do you feel that that is changing, and are we missing the mark on some points?

Things are definitely changing. I gave my sons comprehensive information about sex and we actually talked, some, about dating and having sex. And while sex education has changed, we’re still not incorporating the idea of pleasure in instructional programming. I think women need to be taught about their bodies’ capacity for pleasure as a basis for understanding that sex is a mutual experience, a give and take. The prevalent information in sex education, mainstream film and TV is the good old standard, male focused penetrative sex: intercourse. Sex is defined as penetrative sex where men almost always have a climax and far fewer women will report an orgasm. We rarely talk about putting a woman’s pleasure first, or illustrating the clitoris and how women can orgasm. I wonder how many men realize the majority of women do not orgasm from intercourse at all? That women need clitoral stimulation? And that their desire to please a woman has to translate to understanding female anatomy and specifically the wants and needs of the woman they are with.

As people age, their body is no longer the same as what it was in their early twenties. What would your advice be to people looking to still have an active and healthy sex life as they age?

For one, continued sexual activity is vital to the sexual health of all of us. The same old “use it or lose it” adage we apply in other areas. My most popular talk is called, Sex After 50? Yes Yes Yes. I talk about the need to expand one’s definition of sex. At some point for many adults, penis-in-vagina sex isn’t going to be the sure thing it was in our 20s. Plus, (see last question) since most women don’t climax during intercourse, why not learn to find pleasure in ways that are mutually satisfying to both partners? When we expand the range of ways we can climax then we expand our time spent in intimate play, increase pleasure and receive all the other benefits of being sexually intimate. This means that with chronic illness, erectile dysfunction, mobility issues and more we can still give and receive pleasure.
And it’s important for people to know that there are plenty of 70 year-olds out there who have oral sex, give blowjobs, try new positions, have multiple lovers and enjoy kink.

“Real intimacy is a dance between two people”. I love this quote, and I find that it speaks directly to the heart. What does this quote mean to you, and how important is it for people to understand?

Thank you, it’s an experience I’ve had just enough to know it is our most desired way of experiencing sexual intimacy. My best sexual experiences are those where I connect with my partner and we’re both aware of our mutual desire for pleasure. A dance has to have 2 active partners—it’s a give and take. Sex is no different. We learn by listening or sensing another’s body, we adjust accordingly and we flow together. There are plenty of men out there, of all ages, who consider sex as “sticking it in” and getting off. They don’t understand the importance of mutuality, nor do they understand the power of two people equally engaged and actively participating.

When it comes to sex and aging – what’s the three most important things that you’d like people to know and remember?

As long as we’re still breathing we can have sex if we want it.
Women have a right to pleasure. To seek it when they want it and to have a full, vocal say in when and how and what they want.
There are so many benefits to sex—cognitive, emotional and physical—that we should try harder to keep sexual connections in our lives.

Do you have any advice for people who are getting ready to have sex again for the first time in a long while?

Talk about it, before you get into the bedroom, while you’re both fully dressed. If you think that feels too personal then maybe you’re not ready to have sex. It is pretty personal; so is getting naked with a new person. Talking about sex can be arousing and it helps to break the ice. You get to share what turns you on, or your concerns. Ask questions. And it gives you a chance to see what this new partner feels about sex. Are they listening? Do they respect your wishes? Be clear that both of you want the same things.
Talk about protection from sexually transmitted infections. Make sure a partner agrees to use a condom, or to wait for STI test results is done before you have sex.
Have sex whenever you want—first date, tenth date—just make sure you are both clear as to what it means for you. Is this just casual sex or is one of you thinking that having sex means there’s a significant relationship starting? Do something because you want it and make sure you won’t have negative feeling when it’s all over.

Any final advice you want to share for people looking to start their own blogs?

I would urge anyone who wants to blog to think about their audience and their goal in blogging. There’s a different between simply sharing an online journal and trying to write to a specific audience. A little planning is a good idea.
I think women in particular need to be aware of the challenges of putting themselves and their lives out in the public. I don’t get trolls but I know many women do and it’s hard to deal with the backlash and negativity that people feel entitled to throw out at women.
Thanks so much for your time – I think it’s really valuable for people to talk about sex and sexual health regardless of age and I absolutely applaud the work that you do in this arena.


Walker Thornton Website

Walker Thornton Facebook Page

Instagram as @wjt62

Bondage Hoods and Masks

bdsm wear

Many of the BDSM hoods and masks come with really convenient attachments and accessories. Making them highly effective in bondage play,  There are no limits to the different types of BDSM hoods and masks. From a simple cloth hood that can be made at home to elaborate leather and PVC ones that you can buy from the market. Like everything else in BDSM, individualism is the key. Innovate by yourself to make your play and lifestyle more enjoyable.


If you wish to purchase from your local BDSM store Australia, you will generally find BDSM hoods and masks made of three different kinds of materials.

wearing bdsm masks
Bondage Play

Hoods with Eye and Mouth Holes: Of all the BDSM hoods and masks, this is one of the most popular. They can completely remove a sub’s identity in a matter of seconds. Turn a human being into an object. To be cherished or to be used.

Ponytail Hood: This is usually a hood with eye and mouth holes. However it also has a hole on the top from where the hair of your sub can be pulled out to make a really beautiful ponytail.

Hoods with no Holes: This is highly popular because it completely deprives the submissive of his or her sense of sight. The sub will not know what is in store for him or her. Another added plus – this also completely gags your sub (quite a relief with some really talkative ones). So there is no chance that she will even be able to protest when you establish control over her. A simple word of caution – not all subs are quite ready for this. When choosing from the range of BDSM hoods and masks available, make sure you choose wisely. One that is right for you and your sub.

Padded Hoods: (Also known as Isolation Hoods): This too is a hood with no holes. And does exactly what a hood with no holes does. But in this case, a padded hood goes one step further. It completely deprives the submissive of sound as well. Which means that she will not be able to either speak or hear what you are doing. It is complete isolation inside her own head. Of course as any Dominant can well imagine what this can do to a sub’s other senses. The significance of even a simple touch becomes so much more.

Straitjacket Hoodie: Essentially this is a straitjacket with a hood attached. Many dominants like to leave face of the submissive open while using this. However if one wishes the hood can easily be pulled down to cover the face and act as a blindfold.

Gimp Mask: Remember Pulp Fiction? Well, who doesn’t? This mask immediately skyrocketed in popularity after this movie was released. The term too came into popular usage because of the movie. Gas Mask: Gas masks were originally used – yes you got it right – in chemical warfare. But somehow along the way they became popular in the BDSM lifestyle. However the gas masks used in BDSM are often modified to suit the needs of the lifestyle and can be used in breathplay, enclosure etc.

Female Mask: The Female Mask completely hides the identity of the wearer and can be used to give a female appearance to the submissive. In recent years great improvements have been made on their design and some of them look quite realistic.

Head Harness: Though technically not a mask or a hood, the head harness can be used as one. Head harnesses often use different kinds of gags – ball gags are popularly used. They not only help objectify the sub but can also perform many practical functions like providing attachment points and gagging.

Strap Mask: A strap mask is somewhere between a harness and a mask. There are many straps to this harness which covers most of the face making it look more like a mask.


So when shopping for BDSM Australia hoods and masks, choose judiciously. Remember your personality and tastes and that of your submissive as well. And choose one that is practical and also sets your heart racing.  We trust this information from BDSM Australia helps you in your bondage choices and lifestyle,

How To Use A Urethral Dilator!

Dillating the vagina



This week we have had a few customers asking about dilators, personally when I was first asked the question I was stunned and did not have a clue what she meant but luckily enough I was able to jump online and do a quick lookup and thought what a perfect chance to learn something new for my review this week 🙂

After a little bit of research I have came to a conclusion that there are many ways that a dilator can be used, here are just some of the main reasons I came across on why you might need to know this information for the future


 Curvical cancer – brachytherapy

One of the other reasons we use dilators for are after to maintain vaginal size in the long term after menopause or cancer treatments, dilators may help women remain size enough to be able to have pain free intercourse or examinations after menopause they are also helpful on that time of the month and when a patient needs to take anti-oestrogen hormone therapies for breast cancer they are also very commonly used to prevent scarring during graft versus host syndrome after a stem cell or bone marrow transplant.


 Some women are born without a vagina

Something I had no idea about was that some women are born without a vagina instead they have a small like dimple that is a dead end as they begin to become teenagers they have 2 options. One option is surgery another is to use a dilator, they begin to press the dilator into the vaginal opening for about half an hour twice a day, after a few weeks they\ can begin to deepen the vagina enough to be able to have sexual intercourse with a partner, however they need to keep regular dilation or sexual intercourse in able to maintain the vaginal canal. Sometimes they’re condition can involve abnormal low hormone levels in these cases they need to use oestrogen creams to improve the stretch of the vaginal area.

 Dilator vs vibrators 

There are some people that may claim that you would get a more positive result from using a vibrator of different sizes rather than using dilators, these people believe vibrators will cause sexual excitement creating more blood flow or even just to make the process more pleasurable, Some also tell women to find something shaped more like a penis for the realistic feeling with a few different sizes or even just something she desires. Excitement usually helps to bring more blood flow which allows more oxygen to the tiny blood vessels in the vaginal area witch may also help to keep the tissue healthy. Some educators worry that using vibrators without the other parts of the program will stop women from understanding their own anatomy, including full control of the pelvic floor muscles even most vibrators that have a ridiculous amount of adjustable tips of all different sizes to fit in the vagina do not have a wide commercial range of dilators witch may reduce the women’s freedom to customize her dilation

Inserting a dilators
Dilator Insertions


commonly known as penetration anxiety but Also known as pelvic floor myalgia is when some women have an intense fear of something entering their vagina. Most therapists tend to think that its a phobia genuinely triggered when a partner tried to enter their finger or penis into the vaginal entrance. A great way to overcome this is to use dilation and it will give the women a greater control over what is going into her vagina


 Vaginal reconstruction

After a women has experienced surgery to rebuild her vagina due to a default at birth, healthier problem in later years or after cancer treatments she may be given as customised dilator to wear for some hours of the day and also while she sleeps. It helps the reconstructed vagina keep depth and to stay as wide as possible during healing time. They are more likely to be used if the vagina was created using skin grafts. They man not be needed for reconstructions built from intestines, skin or muscle flaps.


Easy Dilator Use


Starting with a comfortable size that you can slip into your vagina with little or no discomfort make sure you don’t forget to pack on the lubricant and repeat as needed 🙂

If you are lying on your back you need to remember that your vagina slants slightly downwards in this position and do not push the dilator in at a right angle motion

Make sure you know how to contract your muscles relax them as you are inserting the dilator and then tense once the dilator has been fully inserted

– If you are experiencing sexual pleasure from your dilator you can move it side to side to produce good feelings

– Try reading or watching television if you find it hard to keep the dilator in for a few minutes at a time

– It is possible to injure yourself with improper use of your dilator after you have experienced radio therapy, surgery or graft versus host disease, be sure to consult your medical team to correctly show you the use of your dilator, it has been known that pushing or moving the dilator too roughly against fragile or scarred areas may result in further damage


This material is intended for informational purposes only and is never to replace professional advice or diagnosis treatments that have been dealt with by professional educators


If you think this might be something that your missing in head down to your closest

OH!ZONE Adult Lifestyle Centre to pick up your new silicone dilator kit one of the friendly staff will be more than happy to point you towards your perfect product 🙂

Open Letter From A Narcissist!

Break Up Letter

I recently read an open letter from the point of view of a narcissist; I suppose I wish it was for me, from you. It was then I realized it was time to let go of the pain of the past, so here it is – my final letter to you.

So, I am never really sure how to start things like this, I want to ask you how you are but I also don’t really care. I suppose that I hope you’re happy, at least happy enough not to treat your new girlfriend the way in which you treated me.

Firstly, I am sorry that I chose to let you into my life, I am sorry I was blinded by your good looks and charisma. I am sorry I then let good men give up on chasing me while you took me on an emotional rollercoaster. I am sorry for the year I spent fighting with you and I am sorry I chose to forgive you repeatedly because of my good nature. I am sorry you took advantage of that good nature and felt the need to abuse that kindness. I am sorry that I will never be that kind hearted girl ever again, I am sorry my next partner will never get to experience that kind of unbridled love – I am sorry that I will always know that’s because of you.

I am sorry I took your rejection of me as a challenge for you to be loved. However, for what it’s worth you were loved. I am sorry I wasn’t enough for me to loved in return. I am sorry I mistook the idea of ‘love’ as the reason that I carried the burden of our relationship. I am sorry that I allowed you to think that your goals, interests, family and your wants always trumped my own. I am sorry I stopped working on myself because you felt like you needed both of us to work on you. I am sorry that even after all of this, you still needed more and I couldn’t give you that.

I am sorry I made you my everything and I am sorry I didn’t get that in return. I am sorry you felt so scared to lose me that you made me regularly prove this to you. I am sorry that you felt so alone that you needed to be validated by other women when I couldn’t meet your impossible standards. I am sorry I allowed you to cheat on me, not by giving my permission but by giving my forgiveness. I am sorry that even when I found out that somehow when I felt like I needed to care for you.

I am sorry that I chose you over my friends when they repeatedly told me to leave you. I am sorry that I did stay with you because even back then I knew it wasn’t going to work between us but it caused me immense pain to think about living without you. I am sorry that I spent weeks in bed wondering if you were in bed nursing a broken heart too. I am sorry I allowed my heart to be broken by you, even after you said you would never hurt me. I am sorry I confused love with pain and was unable to respect myself enough to walk away.

I am sorry that you gave me a huge life lesson and I am sorry you have probably not thought about me again. I am sorry I found you injured on the battlefield of love, I am sorry I couldn’t fix all your wounds. And I am sorry that you’re out there causing pain for someone else. I am sorry that she’ll read this letter and feel all these pains I felt. 

Angry Ex
Letter To Ex

I am sorry I finally realized that I was too good for you and you knew that, I am sorry you tried to keep me down because you were terrified that I was going to realize that and leave you. I am sorry it took me so long to leave. I am sorry that you felt I was so difficult to love that it almost caused you pain to say the words. I am sorry I believed it was true for so long and I am sorry that I do love myself and was finally able to walk away from someone like you.


Written by a Consultant Oh Zone Stores

Porn Site Reviews!

Adult Movies

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