Why do random strangers feel like they can ask a pregnant woman anything? There are things you should never ask a pregnant woman. It’s frustrating! I suppose you think that the fact that I work in an a store that sells adult products makes it somehow ok.
Wrong. Please be aware that it makes it even creepier and less appropriate.
Never ask A Pregnant Woman….
Some of the questions are triggering on an emotional level and some are just downright rude and gross. Things that you wouldn’t dream of asking a person you’ve just met who isn’t pregnant.
Why do some of us think that it’s ok to ask them of a tired, hormonal person who is busy growing another human?
Since I get asked these questions anyway, I thought that I’d just address them publicly and as openly as common decency will allow me to.
#1 – What Must I Never Ask a Pregnant Woman?
“You must be horny all the time right now! Your hubby must be getting lots of sex!”
I was literally asked this by the last customer who left the store. Who also propositioned me for sex after I mentioned that I was going to be a single parent.
Dude! Firstly, I work around porn and sex toys.
Why would I be interested in going home and playing with myself or someone else? It’s kind of like the plumber’s taps leaking or the builder’s house always needing repairs.
Secondly, yes. My (ex)husband is probably having copious amounts of sex… but since I haven’t seen him in over 6 years. It’s not with me. Also, it’s not ok to follow this answer with another question about my relationship (or lack thereof) with the baby’s father.
It’s none of your business.
#2 of Things to Never Ask a Pregnant Woman
“I’ve always wanted to have sex with a pregnant woman. I saw it in a porno once.” This is said as they stare at the bump.
Staring like a creeper is not endearing at all. Just saying.
I once saw a porno where a guy was tied up and suspended while a woman penetrated him with a 16” dildo. But I’m not going to say that out loud and then stare at you, so STOP!
How would you like it if someone said to you “I saw this documentary about the lady who cut off her husband’s penis. I’ve always wondered what that would be like.” Then stare at your crotch? Makes you uncomfortable doesn’t it?
#3 of Things to Never Ask a Pregnant Woman
“I love how big tits get when women are pregnant…” – Hey dude, my eyes are up here!
Ok, ok. Before I got pregnant, I would have the girls just hanging out when I went out for drinks. And I may have also gotten them out on my hens night to raise drinking money.
But that was 10 years ago and things have changed. Even though I had them on display back then, it still didn’t make it ok to make comments on them. #sexualharassment.
Believe me, I’ll be using these to feed my baby not to attract perverts.
P.S. Just in case you were wondering, it’s also not ok to make comments about breastfeeding in public either. Especially if you’ve already suggested that I let you fondle my boobs while I was pregnant.
#4 of Things to Never Ask a Pregnant Woman
“Does it feel any different when you have sex?” or “Does the baby kick when you’re having sex?”
None of your business! Also, who says that I’m having sex? Mainly because guys on Tinder aren’t too keen on picking up hormonal pregnant women for one night stands. I’m pretty sure that acid reflux, sore breasts, needing to pee every 5 minutes and excess vaginal discharge are not sexy.
And just for the record, my son likes to kick me ALL THE TIME. No internal organ is safe from my tiny human.
#5 of Things to Never Ask a Pregnant Woman
“What are you having?… Oh you’re having a boy! Are you going to circumcise him?”
I really was hoping for kittens. But my ultrasound says that I’m having a normal baby boy. Why does it matter if he will be circumcised, will you be having sex with him?
Seriously?! No, I won’t be telling you what my son’s penis looks like. That’s like asking a woman how tight her vagina is. How is that ok?
#6 of Things to Never Ask a Pregnant Woman
“Wait until it comes out, your vagina won’t ever be the same again.”
Ummmmm… actually that’s what kegel exercises are for. Again, why does it matter to you what my vagina is like or will be like? Unless you’re my midwife or OB, you won’t be going anywhere near it!
So, before you go opening your mouth to ask a pregnant woman a question, throw a comment their way or go to touch them without their permission – stop.
Put that decency filter back in place. Ask yourself if it would be inappropriate to ask/say to a random stranger on the street. If the answer is yes, keep your mouth shut.
Sexy Pregnant Ideas!
If you are thinking about having sex whilst you are pregnant, you simply have two options. You either enjoy it and will do it or don’t and won’t.
Change of hormonal levels in a woman’s body means that some women end up being put off completely with even the idea of sex while others can not ever get enough.
When I was pregnant two years ago, I was very scared of having sexual intercourse with my hubby. I used to get sex toys online and give myself a treat.
Still enjoy sex during my pregnancy with my partner
During pregnancy, the sensitivity of women to have multiple orgasms tends to increase. Areas become more sensitive especially around the vagina and nipple.
Putting your partner week after week can be frustrating for both of you and lets face it, it is not the time for some oiled up naked Twister.
Because of the estrogen and progesterone levels rising they cause changes in your body that will either heighten or lower your passions.
Estrogen
Specifically, which serves such pregnancy-related as increasing blood flow to the uterus (and to your whole pelvis), additionally increases your bodies vaginal wetness and makes your blossoms and nipples swell.
Carrying a baby can make one feel tired and drawn but this still is not an excuse as you can always have some lazy sex.
Months 4-6 I especially found difficult
I found the new found awkwardness and ever expanding tummy difficult to deal with. But I made an effort to keep my sex drive up. Often with the use of external personal massagers when penetration did not feel quite right.
In most cases it is safe to have sex whilst pregnant.
No you cannot hurt the baby. I think the closeness of my partner helped when making love.
It is also regular after having sex to have spotting. Your uterus and vagina are streaming with blood and the vessels in the cervix are swollen. So, it is natural and generally nothing to stress over.
But how many couples have you heard have not had sex during the entire pregnancy because of spotting.? I know a few.
If you have any doubts see your gynecologist or obstetrician.
They will confirm that the amniotic fluids surrounding your precious cargo are there to protect it. Unless your man is bigger than John Holmes he is not even going to get near it.
Mix it up! Sure you cannot do position 18-101 in the 101 Sexual Positions book. But how about rewarding your devoted hubby with a blow-job.
During pregnancy things will turn you on that ordinarily do not.
You will have cravings for food you would not have even thought of eating before. One strange thing I experienced that really turned me on was getting my husband to blow air up my vagina.
Discovering it when he was going down on me it became part of our foreplay during pregnancy that I show not interest in after child-birth. We spoke to our Doctor about it and this is a rather common thing (not commonly spoken about).
Apparently this cools down and soothes the veins and arteries that are bulging and working overtime keeping your baby fed.
On a side note
A few occasions I actually climaxed whilst he was doing it and it was different to any orgasms I had or have ever experienced.
Let’s ask a Pregnant Woman About Her Favourite Sex Positions
Arm Chair
One of the more creative positions, the Armchair is hours of fun once you can get the rhythm down.
To get into this position, the giver sits up with his legs straight while their partner sits on top of them with legs on the giver’s shoulders and arms being used for support.
Unfortunately, it takes quite a bit of strength on behalf of the receiver to perform this position, so you may need to train before you can enjoy all of its glory.
Spooning
Where the woman lies on side to her man and guides the penis gently to find its way into the vagina and then takes control. The penetration continues until the woman comes.
This is a pleasant and comfortable position for both of you to enjoy.
By combing this great sex positions with a female vibrator you will be gland to know that pregnancy doesn’t have to come between you and your sex life.
The Saddle
If you want to try something new with your sex positions, sideways sex is a great place to start! He lies down with his knees bent and legs apart, and you sort of slot in the middle at right angles to his body.
With one hand on his chest, and the other on his lower leg, rock back and forth until he’s hitting the right spot.
It’s all about you and you can wiggle around until it feels just right.
The one position I could not handle at all whilst pregnant was doggie style.
It felt awkward and my belly was uncomfortable. I guess the main thing I want to get across is not to go without, because nine months is a long time for both you and your lover.
Meet Sexpert, our full-time sex blogger! With a background in women’s lifestyle blogs, she brings expertise to Adultsmart and runs Good Girl Guide too.