Maid To Order

My willingness to serve

 

Throughout my life I have always had a willingness to serve, the word no is not an easy word to say for me. I have always enjoyed creating a meal for my partner, small tasks like making the bed, cleaning, washing clothes and other domestic duties. I have a sense of feeling proud afterwards and showing my partner that I have made our house a “home”, which is cringe worthy for most feminists. I have never understood why these tasks give me such a feeling of achievement in my relationships.

 

For the most part it has been taken advantage of, as with most people, in most situations someone who says yes, all the time becomes an “easy” person to deal with or someone who most will call upon in times of need as they always know they will say yes.

 

A people pleasure, a slave, a yes person, but today I learnt that in the BDSM world this set of attributes is a fetish; servitude- This is a service orientated submissive.  It is a relationship within the BDSM lifestyle where the passive partner is both physically and emotionally “in service” to the dominate partner. It’s not all about sex though, these relationships might not even involve sex and romance but focus on pleasing their dominant in any way they wish to be served.

Several couples add this type of play or practice into their everyday lifestyles, examples of ways such as; housework wearing a particular outfit or in nothing at all, fetching drinks, meal planning or cooking of meals, personal assistance. Very often outfits such as nurse and maid, are worn to bring a more realistic sense of the service orientated submission.

Think more personal assistant instead of slave.

 

This is a part of the BDSM world that I can resinate with, which has surprised me. Not many things shock me anymore, I have come to appreciate and accept the different ways in which people will express their passions and desires.

 

My desire for service and pleasing my partner has become something that I have always thought was just the way in which I loved and showed love. It is something that unless it is understood can be very dangerous and damaging to a person, for someone to fully understand they need to respect and without respect a person will feel as though they are a slave and not understand why they are constantly taken advantage of. My pervious partners have all seen these particular attributes as a weakness in my personality, constantly they would ask me to do things I may not be comfortable with doing, knowing full well I won’t say no to their request, and if I was to say no it wouldn’t be hard to change my decision.

 

As someone who isn’t involved into the life of BDSM and only dabbles into certain areas, learning that the world is more about respect and appreciation rather than dominance over another person makes it a little less scary and a lot easier to understand.

 

To the outside world BDSM is full on, and to some the deeper you get the more that is involved but to those on the outside even the art of cuffing can be scary. The biggest misconception that I see from working in this industry is that an uneducated person believes that because it is depicted a certain way it must be ok. Truth is to serve someone or to allow someone to tie you up can be the most frightening thing, to some it can be amusing, and to others it can be a way in which they express their sexual desires.

 

Servicing your partner should always be done in a way that does not hinder your confidence or respect in yourself, to allow someone to be dominate over you is a huge power play and you and your partner need to understand the boundaries and respect those boundaries. You must first be dominate with yourself, and after that having the ability to selflessly serve your partner with the only satisfaction being how happy you have made your partner and the feeling of being useful in a task done well, is enough to give you happiness.

 

Exploring this way of life in a new light is exciting and makes me feel more Intune with my body and the way in which I express myself. I feel as though I can understand the reasons why I do things the way I do and why I feel happiness after doing something my partner has asked, even more so when I do something in which my partner enjoys and is proud of without him asking. To have someone who respects you is the biggest achievement in life especially if your someone who struggles with trust. Being able to express yourself fully and without the fear of being hurt or taken advantage of is a right every person should have, we need to respect each other more and take more time to show respect for ourselves as well.

 

Morgan x