Let’s Talk About The L Word

L O V E the big four-letter word that’s just as powerful as the O word (orgasm) 98% of the time. The elusive love at first sight which often is confused by its counter partner lust at first sight, yes there is a huge difference!

Love is potent, miraculous, insightful, bloodcurdling, petrifying, numbing, magical, and possibly the most intense feeling in the whole spectrum of feelings.

Love can have you questioning your sanity one moment and your inhibitions the next, it can give you a sparkle, glow and empowerment, also an anxious, worrying and overthinking moments later.

At our core no matter what life events you have experienced we have all thought we are unlovable at one point or another, however we all aspire to be loved and give love, in one form or another.

And it’s not often you come across your true love. To be honest I thought that word was a bunch of phoney garbage before this moment. Someone who stuck by you through thick and thin, who surprised you with flowers on a date, who actually took you out on a proper date and was a pure gentleman the entire time. Someone who actually took notice of you and was wholesome and genuine in their thoughts and actions, someone who peaks your heart rate for all the right reasons.

Loving relationship
Image: Loving moments

It all started with a “hi”, multiple “hi’s” actually pretty much every day for at least 2 weeks with some light conversation about how our days were going. He never gave up, and I started thinking wow he must be really interested. We began to talk more and more all day every day. I would look forward to his “good morning” messages and his “how is your day going messages” and eventually we were beginning to talk more deeply.

My thoughts for the first couple of weeks were that this was too good to be true, he has to be some sort of womaniser or player and this would all end very abruptly once he knew he had won me over. Truth is he has continued to stay strong, and genuine, which is something I had not experienced before. I didn’t have any doubts after that, he was completely open with everything and thus I felt comfortable enough to be completely open with him. He sparked something in me that I never had felt before. I felt whole, a kind of out of body experience where I felt genuinely happy, something I haven’t felt since I was a kid.

I didn’t know overly much about him apart from the general questions and answers every new couple interrogates each other about. I didn’t know how he acted with his friends or how he spoke to other people. I didn’t know about his past relationships or if they ended on an amicable note or not. Our connection those first few weeks made my feelings even stronger about something I was already considering… that in some way, a way I still don’t understand fully our connection transcends beyond any connection that I have ever dreamt about feeling or experienced before. I have always thought about that infinite attraction where every part of you physically, emotionally, mentality and spiritually is drawn to that one person. I have always wanted and wondered what it would feel like to be completely smitten with someone in every way possible.

Loving sex
Image: Love making

I have spent the beginning of this year working on and living my most purposeful life, making sure every moment counts being my true self. I wanted to work on accepting and embracing love in my life without the drama and fear of being wounded and attached to it. You know, loving like you give a shit. I felt after everything I owed myself 100% attention into pure, true and wholesome love and happiness. This started with letting go of all my excess baggage and expressing everything on my mind or stuck in my heart. I was on a mission to rid myself of all negativity in the form of words – anything and everything on my mind I wrote out and sent off into the abyss of the internet, my deepest and darkest thoughts, those nagging blimps in your mind you can’t get rid of. I wanted a true fresh start, and that’s what I achieved.

My first realisation that fear is only a 4-letter word. It was in fact my best attribute in life, by overcoming my fears I was able to follow my truest desires, become my true self and follow my truest life. I was able to for the very first time accept love and affection.

Finding myself smiling at random moments, finding myself smiling at my phone, smiling at memories, smiling at objects. I am smiling! My heart feels full, it feels whole and it doesn’t feel shattered.

From the first moment I met him, even still every moment I see him now, my whole body is in this completely. It’s a weird and confusing emotion to feel, to feel like you have known someone forever but only have just met them.

The proof is in the pudding that there is light after dark, there is happiness after adversity, there is love after all. This is just the start of my lover’s diary.

Morgan x

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *