How To Pick Up MILFS!

Everybody wants to know where one can find a MILF for myself? But it seems like an almost Herculean feat. After all, how can you tell if someone is, in fact, a MILF? Where do you find them? Are they real? Well put those worries away because I can assure you that when you finish reading this article, you will be able to pick and choose any MILF that you please. Become a living legend and a shining beacon of hope to all the poor MILF-less men of the world.

Before You Can Become A God Among Men

Firstly, you need to actually find a MILF. I can attest to the fact, that this can be very tricky business. One wrong move and you can suddenly find yourself ostracized from several reputable establishments.

I mean, I’m sorry, since when is hitting on tight brunettes at Applebees, in front of their kids wrong? By the way was it really necessary to throw me out? Jesus, who the hell even gets kicked out of Applebees?

Nobody that’s who and it’s an embarrassment to America, when fascists like them get to stomp on the dreams of the working man so easily. Outrageous injustices aside, it was clear that I would have to use a little more finesse in acquiring a MILF.

Fergie's Hot MILF Ass
Photo: Fergie in M.I.L.F. $

After My Failed MILF-hunting Ventures At Applebees

I decided to head over to the local soccer fields. This is a great place to find bored moms who want to live dangerously, and can be a goldmine for fathers with their kids. I, unfortunately, have no offspring to call my own so I would have to work a little harder to get what I wanted. I spotted an uninterested mom on her phone and walked towards her. If you do happen to be a father of a kid who’s practicing with hers, this would be the point where you start a conversation about what a pain it is to drive the youngsters to and from practice. Once you open up the conversation, you should get to know her. Find out whether or not she’s single and if she is then great. If not, continue anyway. Try setting up a carpool situation, wherein she drives your kids one day and you drive hers the next. If she agrees then you’re golden and you can figure things out from here. If not then move on to someone else.

I myself have no kids, so this didn’t exactly work out exactly as I was hoping. When I approached the MILF that I had seen earlier, she asked me which kid was mine. When I told her that I just enjoy watching the women at the game, she gave me a strange look and moved away. If this happens to you, don’t be discouraged and try to realize that some women are just plain rude. You’ll find that some women are simply not willing to submit to your advances, so please try to find another target.

The Art Of MILF Hunting Can Be Used At Different Places

Just don’t pursue people that don’t want anything to do with you because there are definitely plenty of steaming hot MILF fish in the sea, just waiting to be caught. There are many places to have sex. Some of the best places I would want to have a close encounter with them include an elevator or a bathroom or may be even a kitchen. I mean, Moms that cook food are meant to be tastier.

Anyways, Imagine An Elevator

I am inside it with a hot MILF Rebecca with big tits, round ass and tight clothes. Now you may argue about the practicality of having all those traits in one Mum, but trust me, when you have the eyes, every mum is just perfect. Coming back to the elevator, I am an income tax agent and while we are traveling to the ground floor, she receives a call from her boss who tells her to destroy the current audit report as it showed great profit and tax to be paid. She is tensed and worried about the consequences if anybody comes to know about the orders. I press the stop button while the lift is somewhere in between the 3rd and 4th floor and tell her that I am an income tax officer and she could be jailed for abetting her boss. She pleads for forgiveness and says she would do anything for getting out of the mess. And I use this opportune moment to ask her to have sex with me then and there. She resists the request and asks if there is any alternative. I simply tell her that its either this or jail. She agrees but pleads that nobody else gets to know about it and why would I have any objections to that.

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I remove her panties and lick her pussy. Totally turned on, she removes her bra and spreads her legs wider. I go deeper with tongue making her want it more. After making sure she just can’t get enough, I get up and ask her to give me a blowjob. Her round full breasts bounce up and down when I push my dick deep into her throat. With both of us at our peak excitement levels, I ask her to bend over and insert my dick into her tight vagina. Suddenly the lift somehow starts again. I press the stop button but it just doesn’t seem to work.

Disappointed we dress back just in time. I stop her from going out and I am amazed to see another one of her MILF colleague get into the lift. The lift starts is journey to the 15th floor and just as we start, Rebecca tells everything to her colleague. Before her MILF colleague can help, I press the stop button, get her mobile phone out of her clutch and threaten her that she too will be in trouble. A lift with two hot MILFs is a feast for me. I undress both of them and we have nice threesome and I cum all over the mums. We go all on our separate ways, with MILF desires satisfied for the time being.

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