How to look good naked: post covid

Let’s be real, you’ve probably got a covid bod going or maybe it started long before the pandemic and want to make sure you look good naked.  Body dysmorphia has been a struggle for everyone at least once in their life and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Confidence is difficult to earn and sometimes it’s harder to keep, especially when you’re stuck in quarantine with food delivery services everywhere.

 

The first step: achieving maximum comfort in the nude

This is probably the most difficult step.

I’m not saying you need to surround yourself with mirrors, this isn’t American Beauty and you may have a hard time picturing yourself like Mena Suvari covered in rose petals seducing Kevin Spacey on a ceiling. No, we’re not there yet, but get the rose petals anyway (just in case).

All we’re doing in this step is living without clothes, and preferably in our bedrooms away from housemates and family (this isn’t a social thing), but if you live alone or with a partner who works different hours to you; nipples to the wind, baby!

 

Some tasks you can do during this time could be, but definitely not limited to

  • Housework (e.g. vacuuming, dusting, dishes, laundry, etc)
  • Watching television or playing video games
  • Work from home (make sure there aren’t any zoom meetings scheduled)
  • Exercise (busty babes be careful)
  • Online shop
  • Wash the dog
  • Start a new hobby (knitting in the nude has a nice ring to it)

 

The point of this exercise is to be yourself, but naked. This means doing house-chores in the nude, and lounging about with a tit out. It’ll feel weird and you’ll want to put something on but resist. The more you see your fleshy bits, the more you’ll be desensitised to caring about what you look like (sounds easier than it is). Avoid mirrors and reflective surfaces at the beginning, it’s easy to give up after seeing yourself, it’s confronting and can do more damage than good.

This step isn’t a one-off, loving yourself takes time and each person is different, it all depends on you. Try and intertwine this practice daily or weekly. Make the time for yourself; no excuses! It’s 2022, if we aren’t attempting to think of our bodies as holy temples, then what are we doing with our time besides continually hating ourselves. We cut off toxic people, but what if we’re what’s toxic? Try and be kind to yourself, negatively thinking of your body isn’t going to change the fact that it’s yours.

 

The second step: acceptance

It’s okay to accept yourself at this current phase in your lives. If this isn’t the body you want, that’s okay too. It’s not about ‘liking’ yourself, it’s about realising you’re more than cellulite and caring less about what you or others think of your appearance. The goal is; going to a nudist beach and feeling like a king (this means not being embarrassed or feeling shame).

You’ll know you’ve reached this step when you look in the mirror and your reaction is more of “meh” instead of a “ew”.

 

When you spend less time worrying about your appearance, the better quality of life you’ll have. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day, your dream rig is going to take time, and the sooner you stop overthinking and worrying about trying to squeeze into those jeans you desperately want to keep from 2010 (please just donate them, it’s not worth the reminder of what you were and what you wish you could be. It does more damage mentally and it doesn’t matter how much you spent on them or if they’re designer labels~ let it go).

 

Now that you’ve accepted your current body and cleared out your wardrobe, start living (you can wear clothes this time). This means enjoying things you always had to stress about before; treat yourself to that ice cream or go to the beach shirtless/in a bikini. You’ll feel like all eyes are on you, but try to remember that those people are more concerned about themselves and how they look. We all have our internal struggles and shortcomings, the only way to change how you react is purely through building confidence. The more you walk about being yourself in all your glory (please keep in mind public nudity is illegal), the more normal you’ll feel. Confidence isn’t given, it’s made.

 

The third step: enjoying yourself

This is the BIG one. We’ve spent the time, and we’ve done our best at loving our bodies on our own. Now it’s time for someone else to love your body.

Regardless of what you may think of yourself, you are wanted. Put yourself out there and start talking to people. Remember; nothing ventured = nothing gained! If you’re on a dating app, I highly suggest bad pick-up lines. It’s an easy way to break the ice and can set you up with a good first impression. Flirting out in the wild can be a bit intimidating and if you get turned down- please keep trying with other people. It can be disheartening at first but life isn’t like the movies and that’s okay. Just keep swimming around this crazy world until you hook someone worth keeping.

 

Not ready to let another person raid your holy temple? That’s fine, no rush. Luckily technology has come a LONG way from basic masturbation routines. Give yourself a break and get to your nearest adult store (adult stores will often give you more advice and better suggestions than shopping online). We’re all different and it’s important to find something worth your time.

Remember; you’re finding a toy/toys that’ll make YOU feel like a KING. Save your money by avoiding the cheaper/low quality items and invest in yourself. Sex toys are supposed to be fun and easy, sex shouldn’t be complicated unless you want it to be.

Roughly, this can cost you anywhere from AUD $150-$500 and should be a one-off purchase until you’re ready to explore yourself/others further. Stay away from battery operated and non-waterproof toys; they don’t last long and generally gather gunk/other nasties around the battery seal. If you can’t justify the purchase for yourself; think of it this way- you’d roughly spend that much on someone you love but not on yourself? Seems like a double standard to me… Let’s crush the stigma of ‘wasting money’ on yourself and see it as a necessary need. Would you buy a car or laptop knowing it’ll die within a few months? No, so why start now with a trash toy? Remember to explore your options and try to be open with new experiences. Tap into your inner-hedonist and get freaky!

 

Hopefully after following these three big steps you’ll see yourself in a new light and if you don’t then go back to step one and take it slow. You’re worth the time and effort, don’t rush yourself. Please be safe and don’t let negative comments undo the hard work you’re achieving. This is meant to be a slow process, the point is to rewire your mental attitude from years of body dysmorphic damage. Now get naked and comfortable, you got this!

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