A to Z of Fetishes vs Fantasies: What Tickles Your Fancy?

Fetishes vs Fantasies. Words are sometimes my favorite tool to use both in the bedroom and out but today we aren’t talking about dirty talk, though we could….

No today dear readers, we are talking semantics and comparing two of my favourite words.  Words that are often confused, confuddled and mixed up in many scenes, scenarios and interchanges between people when discussing kinks.

Fetishes vs Fantasies – What is a Fetish?

A fetish can best be described as a strong desire or need for something be it an object or a person, an act or kink.

There are those who can argue that a fetish could be categorized as an uncontrollable desire, the very opposite a phobia, in which a person has an uncontrollable fear, sometimes even irrational.

Fetishes can sometimes be categorised as lust worthy, uncontrollable desires, perhaps even irrational to the rational part of a person’s mentality. But it still gives them sexual or pleasureable gratification.

Fetishes can be primal in nature and in some aspects some people have felt much shame in them.

Finding safe and welcoming communities where they can find acceptance as well as safe spaces to safely explore, discuss and explore these fetishes is becoming more mainstream.  It is a joy to see as our society opens up and #breaksthestigma.

Fetishes can be many and varied

To date there are over 239 fetishes but here are 12 of some of the most common sexual ones you may have come across.

Role-Playing – or dress ups .

Just because we’re adults doesn’t mean we can’t play make believe sometimes.  It can be fun to slip into a different person from time to time.  Try on a fun costume and pretend to be a different character.

Anal sex

This one is a little bit of a grey area, some people enjoy anal sex as a sexual act while others visualise it as a fetish.  As long as everyone is consensually enjoying it, who are we to label labels?

Lingerie

Being aroused by a certain type of lingerie is definitely a fetish and more common than people give it credit.  Stockings. Lace. satin. Latex.  These pieces of adorning lingerie can be wholeheartedly turn ons for people.

Impact Play

Spanking, flogging, paddling and other forms of consensual striking.

Foot Fetish

The worship of feet through acts such as kissing, massage, smelling, licking, touching or just watching.

Bondage

Being tied up or restrained.  Bondage can range from very mild to very intense and is usually found in BDSM but has also been known to be one of the first things to try when spicing up things in the bedroom.

Restraints can be made from cuffs, rope, a tie, cable ties,…..many things.

Group sex

Threesomes and foursomes are the most common.  But group sex also extends to orgies involving multiple people and gang-bangs including one person of one gender and mutliples of the other gender.

Sensory play

When we think sensory play we often immediately think of hot and cold, ice and fire, or in this case wax play.  Sensation play also includes blindfolds, feathers and for the more experienced, electrostim play.

Dirty Talk

I say Dirty talk but well, it’s not really more things like humiliation and degradation, being called names, talking down and dirty.

Orgasm control or denial.

This is edging into BDSM and is a subsection of submission and dominance, bringing the submissive to the brink of orgasm and forced to stop.  And doing so repeatedly or withholding sex or orgasms over a period of time as a form of teasing.

Voyuerism and exhibitionism

Watching people having sex, or having sex out in public ith the risk of being caught having sex is very common. WHo among us has not had sex in a car or sneakily in the cinema?

Pornography

Watching, looking at pornographic material, before or during sexual intercourse or play

Fetishes vs Fantasies – So, now lets talk about Fantasies

I will admit fantasies and fetishes are not all that different.  But the difference is a big one.  Fantasies are our respective, imagined scenarios that get us all hot and heavy.

They are the screenplay in our minds that we make up, that may involve various fetishes, or wants or desires.  But they do not necessarily control us.

This is the big one

We may not want to play them out in real life.  Fetishes drive us. We want them. Some people need them.

Fantasies are exactly that. They are imaginary.

Staging a scene in real life to mirror your fantasy, while nice, will be hard. Especially if it is a fantasy you have lived and re-lived in your imagination for years.

You have built it up with such exquisite and erotic detail that that is a hard act to nail in real life to the exactness of the fantasy.

Fetishes, sure thing, those can be met.  But the fantasy is a construct of the combination of the fetishes and how you have controlled them in your imagination.

A Real Life Example of Fetishes vs Fantasies

An example is a couple who divulged their fantasies that they masturbated to the thought of their partner.  The husband thought it would be nice to organise his wife’s fantasy.  But not realising, that while she fantasised about it, when faced with it she had zero interest in fulfilling it with him.

I think an important takeaway is that fantasies are amazing.

And that everyone should have them, talk about them if you’re open enough and confident to do so.

But make it clear when you do, if your fantasy is something you want to try, or something personal you enjoy having a good solo session to when you’re alone.

Your Fetish Adult Lifestyle!

Couples who are in a relationship for a long time or those couples who are in a new relationship usually love to find out new ways to enhance their love life.

Many of the couples usually visits online adult shop for buying sex toys.  Nowadays, the number of couples who are visiting the sex toy stores is increasing sharply.

This is very much evident from the sharp increase in the number of sex toy stores.

This can be attributed to the fact that Sex Toys are no longer seen as taboo and perverted.

Many people are used to using sex toys either by themselves.  Or with a partner.  Acceptance of sex toys has increased massively.   Along with the increase in the sale of sex toys, the online availability of porn dvds is also increasing.

With the growth of the sex toy industries and with this more tolerant approach towards the fun in the bedroom, what more are we looking for?

What do We Mean by Ordinary Sex?

Before we even handle the “f” word, we need to separate what “ordinary” means regarding sex.  Kerner characterizes sexual regularity as having a scope of cravings and a level of sexual ease.

When you’re fixated on just one way to improve, that’s when things can get tricky.  Flexibility is key, my friend.

Fetishes or Fixations don’t need to be filthy.

The person with the fetish has a tendency to develop fixations.  As other paraphilia, can be viewed as typical minor departure from sexual conduct as long as they don’t break the law.

He says that having a weird obsession can bring a lot of shame and secrecy. Most of the time, these obsessions can lead to sadness and affect one’s social life, work, and love life.

A few people embrace their fetishes looking for people who acknowledge and comprehend their sexual inclinations.

Some People Seek Out Therapy

So, some couples seek guidance because the whole situation is stressing out one or both partners.

Some people try psychological behavioral therapy to learn how to either avoid getting too excited about their fetishized object.  Or stay away from things that trigger them.

For some fetishists, the internet can make them feel less alone because they can find online communities of people who share their interests.

Purchasing Items from An Adult Store

The action of purchasing an item from an online sex toy store must be done at one’s own discretion.  Some think it would be better to hide it from the purchaser’s own children or from any other member of the family.

Well, if any online sextoy store wants that customer, they must return to the same site again in the future for purchasing such products.  Then that site must have a wide range of collection.

Many Online Stores to Choose From

As the number of stores keeps growing, it’s crucial for the site to offer customers something new and exciting to keep them coming back for more.

You need to make sure we stand out from the crowd by offering irresistible bargains and attractive choices.   To achieve this, you should update our collection regularly.  And let your customers know about the latest products by giving them detailed descriptions on our website.

It’s a common practice for any business, including the sex toy industry, to refresh their stock with new items to keep things interesting.

Online Adult Stores with An Amazing Range

Going to an online sex shop with a wide variety of stuff and detailed product descriptions is awesome.  But, it’s a bummer when they charge too much because then it’s hard to buy anything and you might just go somewhere else.

Luckily, we can now compare prices and find the cheapest store to buy from.  Plus, some sites give out discount codes during special events or festivals, so keep an eye out for those to save some cash!

A customer usually has to create an account before purchasing an item from an adult online store.  While creating the account, the customer has to provide their email address.

The website can let customers know about new products and special deals in the future. It’s not totally necessary, but definitely helpful to stay in the loop.