Essential Tips To Master Perfect BDSM Photography

“I don’t look anything like the girls on your website.”

This is about the most common thing I would hear when I would speak to a new client about perfect BDSM Photography.

“Well, let me let you in on a little secret. The girls on my website don’t look anything like the girls on my website either.”

This may or may not be entirely truthful but it puts people at ease.

Everyone has heard of Photoshop and everyone wants it to varying degrees so I let them know we apply it liberally, when required. However I will use every part of my skill set to avoid it. If I get it right in camera, with good lighting and positioning, we can minimise the need or eliminate it entirely…

Yes, I am that good.

Naked Strangers And What Actually Happens On A Photoshoot

I have no idea what this person looks like over the phone. No idea how comfortable or relaxed they will be during the shoot. Don’t know what outfits they bring will be flattering to their figure.

Confidence is far more important than any other part of the skill set, and gives you a massive head start.

I have to be confident.

More importantly, my client has to feel confident.

These days, most of my clients have heard of me through a friend or seen my work. They are confident in my abilities and it’s only themselves they are worried about. It still pays dividends to let them know they aren’t alone.

I photograph every shape and size and nothing is going to be weird or gross or whatever they are hung up on.

So we discuss everything over the phone and set out a rough idea of how the shoot will get. We set expectations for quality, cost and other incidentals. Most people at this point want to, but don’t think they will be taking their clothes off.  Nerves and jitters but we soon find out if it’s on the cards or not.

It’s usually 50/50 and it all comes down to the individual. Most of my clients are either simply excited, or ready to fill the porcelain throne with bricks. Very rarely do I get people who are blase.

Perfect BDSM Photography
Image: Woman With A Ball Gag In Her Mouth

 

They come into the entry of my studio, it’s also my office admin space, as well as a viewing gallery. There is a couch, a TV, some desks and computers.

Nothing elaborate.

No fancy bells or whistels.

A small makeup area and a studio in the back that is fully blocked out to natural light. Nothing overly fancy or elaborate. The studio just looks like a clean artist’s workshop. I get a lot of comments like:

“It doesn’t look like some seedy dungeon!”

or

“It just feels like home.”

This vibe is definitely on purpose. I have worked in more intimidating spaces and it puts people on guard. A lot of my clients are NOT from the kink world. They simply want to pretend for a few hours and have something special to look back on, or give the photos to their partner.

If the place looks too luxurious, then people don’t relax. When the space is too niche with a heavy kink and fetish dungeon, it gives people the wrong idea of what goes on behind the curtain. So I have worked hard to establish a safe space, where adults play dress-ups.  Rather than an over the top fancy glamour studio or porn production venue.

For the most part, each shoot goes simply.

I very rarely get people who don’t understand the boundary that is the camera. My subjects are sexy for the camera. Not for me.!The only time people sexualise what I do is at parties with drunk men slurring

“Do you get to see titties?”

I will always do a warm up set with some simple portrait work and learn my subjects face and body lines. I will figure out what positions will and won’t work here. You don’t want to be working this out with lingerie or nude work. My subject will also learn how I work.

No, they are not expected to model for me.

Yes, it’s quite easy for the most part.

The only difficult thing is holding some of the poses as they can feel very un-natural.

I don’t focus on expressions and specifics. My approach is to cover a lot of ground. Get a lot of variety and let random chance factor in. People don’t usually like the photographs/expressions I like.

It’s best to get through the work rather than focus in on one particular thing. Besides, if you say to someone their expression – smile/pout/bedroom eyes isn’t working, they will become very self-conscious of it. At that point I might as well put the camera in the bin.

If a session is going swimmingly and I can tell my subject is feeling confident. I use 5 simple words.

“How brave are you feeling?”

If someone isn’t feeling comfortable it’s sooo much easier to affirm that they are at their limit here. Noone feels uncomfortable at all… Usually… like 99% of the time they are feeling the best they have ever felt about themselves.

Then off come the clothes.

JJ Maher Photography
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A Quick Side Anecdote

There was a period of about 3 months where I was shooting art/erotic nudes exclusively. Sometimes up to 8 sessions a day. I noticed as I was burning out that people were responding differently and seeming very deflated. After some introspection I realised I was too detached.

I was not being friendly at all. Reacting to this person taking their clothes off, like a bitter ex-lover, filled with vitriol and resentment. A real effort had to be made for me to not treat it like mopping vomit off the floor, and get back to enjoying the process.

Perfect BDSM Photography

The best way to handle the situation is to act like an asexual pixie. Be really excited about everything but sexualise nothing. This will temper people and make sure things never become inappropriate.

It’s hard to hit on the professional BDSM, fetish and kink photographer when he is a naive puppy, and it’s hard for the naive puppy to offend anyone. It also solidifies the notion that they are being sexy for the camera, not for me. The demeanour has been effective for all clients, from stay at home mums to escorts and exotic dancers.

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I have seen it all.

Clients who have had full body lifts after massive weight loss and are completely covered in scars. Amputees, people in their 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and even 80’s. I have shot multiple women who have had full double mastectomies. People who have every inch of their body tattooed/pierced. There was even had one lady who had a severe physical disability that caused her bone structure and muscles to never properly develop. She was wheelchair bound and I had to literally lift her from the chair and move her into the poses.

There are definitely times where I know I could do better with a second go, but I have a 99% success rate, with everyone leaving feeling amazing. They might only have 1 or 2 photo’s they love or they might have 50. There are times where you do get it wrong, but usually another session a few weeks later fixes that right up.

Regardless What You Are Shooting The Process Must Remain The Same

It doesn’t matter what you’re shooting. I could have a client who is timid to the point of only perhaps showing an inch of cleavage. Or someone who wants to just do very dark, moody art nudes. There are people who bring their own BDSM kits, doms, submissives, lovers and all sorts.

It’s usually very much the same process. We talk, we meet and we shoot. I talk about my puppy mostly during sessions at the moment. Sometimes she is with me at the studio, and people want to play with her more than they want to do the photo shoot!

Photography by JJ Maher
Image: Woman Wearing Bondage Tape

The One Thing That Never Changes

People are impossible to read up front. At the start, everyone is roughly the same. Their mask is on and their guard it up. Give me 30 minutes and a camera and they relax and open up entirely.

I am always surprised and usually wrong about who will want what.

The single mum of 3 in her 40’s with one small bag will want to be tied up or do very sexualised erotic art nudes for her dating profile.  She won’t mention that to me in the consultation phone call…

The stripper with full body tattoos,will just want some headshots for her personal training business…

The guy in his 50’s with terrible hair and teeth! He is adamant the photos are for his partner I will never meet, and she wants him to look like a sexy Twilight inspired vampire…

The 20 year old uni who is wearing a trench coat and a beanie and looks like she hasn’t slept for a week. After hair and makeup she looks like a BDSM goddess who only brought nipple clamps and a riding crop as her “outfit.”…

And the quiet ones? Well you know what they say about the quiet ones.

I have been asked a lot of times if I date clients. Those drunk dudes at parties might not put that quite so politely. A lot of people expect that I live fast and loose. They expect that I lead a very sexually adventurous, party lifestyle due to the nature of my work. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

I have dated a client exactly once. Many years ago when I was still working freelance in other studios. She pursued me aggressively after the session and with the studio owner’s knowledge and permission, we started dating. Early in the relationship her life situation changed and moved to a different state to be with her family.

It has been a hard no ever since!

It’s never even been something I would consider. Quite a few of them have become good friends, joining my Dungeons and Dragons group, gaming online or playing board games together regularly.

Author: Jason is a consultant from Adult Lifestyle Centres

JJ Maher Photographer

Meet Our Newest Expert To The Team JJ Maher

Hi! I am JJ and I struggle to take myself seriously!

JJ Maher At Adult Smart
JJ Maher Bio

Sometime in the yesterday years of 2008, I began working as a professional photographer. I’ve shot anything and everything you can imagine. Bread and butter wedding and family photography. Everything along the spectrum from kids to high end shiny glamour.

Even working in fashion/editorial photography. I’ve Tried my hand at products and catalogs. I’ve often dabbled in cars and bikes. I have shot countless runways, bands, events and even the odd funeral here and there.

Early along the path, I diverged, careened, rocketed, tripped and stumbled headfirst into the erotic arts.

Nothing else felt as comfortable or as rewarding.

Is it Kink?

Is it Fetish?

Is it Alternative?

Is it BDSM?

Does it involved a bucket full of glitter and lube? Are people taking their clothes off and celebrating their body? Is it weird? Could this make someone close-minded uncomfortable?

This was my reason to be for the better part of a decade.

Did I work only with models? Some of the best, but not exclusively.

Did I work with single mothers, gay couples, people in their 50s? 60s? 70s? People with physical disabilities? Exhibitionists? Introverts? Societies outcasts? Heavily tattooed? Modified? Pierced? People who have travelled the world? The rich? The powerful? The poor? The meek? People disfigured by accidents or surgery?

Yes to all of it and more.

I never wanted to limit myself.  I had discovered a beautiful world filled with enriching, sex positive (or working on it) people. I have had endless opportunities to help people be at peace with their imperfections or even come to celebrate them. I have had the privilege of getting to help women and sometimes even men “feel the sexiest they have ever felt or the sexiest they have felt in years.”

Or in other words, I have been one of the luckiest guys I know!

My first love was music. I play a bunch of instruments badly. Some even more badly then others. I have always been drawn to the “characters” in the music industry. Personalities that were so large they could not avoid the spotlight of fame or infamy. Sometimes to tragic ends.

This truly inspired my photographic direction. As polished as my work became, I tried to maintain an element of the grunge, rockstar aesthetic that was my origin.

When I started out, I wanted to take photos that looked like a guitar solo sounds. I have always enjoyed helping people who would normally avoid the spotlight feel like the most important person in the world for a couple of hours.

Photgraphy Has Given Me Access To The Most Interesting People

Through photography, I have gotten to meet some of my absolute idols in the music and art worlds. Specifically I am now lucky to call my all time favourite illustrator and artist a true life friend. It is surreal, knowing, associating and working with people you have admired for more than a decade.

People who inspired your work from the beginning to later be sitting across from you at conventions sharing silly musings via facebook/snapchat to pass the quiet moments. I have never been one to be star struck but I still get the odd butterfly in the stomach when their user names pop up when we game online together.

READ MORE OF JJ’S ARTICLES ON THE ADULTSMART BLOG

As a straight, cis-gender, white male aged 18 to 35. I didn’t think I had anything of value to really offer in terms of sexual insight so when I was asked to start contributing to a sex blog, I wrote what I knew. I hoped and hope to share lots of sometimes interesting, sometimes funny, sometimes downright awkward stories of what apparently has been an incredible and unique decade.

Along the way, in a valiant effort to impregnate some kind of value into these stories, I intend to sharply analyse what I got to see both on and off camera. I hope to dive headfirst into self reflection and see where I went right, wrong and how I have learned and grown. Maybe, if I bang my head against the keyboard long enough. Something inspirational or original might fall out.

Failing that, maybe I can just entertain.

Some Of My Favorite Quotes

 “I’ve always been attracted to the beauty in the “Abnormal.” The strange and the deformed, in its sometimes comical, sometimes horrendously chaotic lack of structure, it becomes something so much more perfect. Limitless and without comparison As I one day strive to be. Limitless. Without comparison.” – JJMAHER
“An artistic force to be reckoned with.” – Some guy, probably.

“Delusions of grandeur the likes of which have never been seen before or since.” – Picasso

JJ Maher

You can check out some of my works at the JJ Maher Website!

JJ Maher Adultsmart

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