Edging 101: What To Do and How To Get Started

“When you are pulling against the restraints… when your back is arched and your hips are writhing… when your mouth is open in a silent scream of tortured rapture… you will know that my work has begun”. – Pleasure Torture

Edging or orgasm control can be achieved through masturbation or help from a partner. We have partnered up with Bait’D Designs BDSM, Sex, and Jewelry Blog to teach you how to get started edging for your first time.

What is Edging?

During sex, BDSM, and kinks, achieving orgasms is not the only thing that can bring you or your partner pleasure. Edging is a popular method that involves controlling orgasms by bringing you or your partner to the brink of orgasm, and then right before it happens, you back away. Then you repeat this process over and over again, building up your sexual energy until you or your partner finally allow you to achieve an orgasm. The sexual energy building up to an orgasm can be similar to the sexual energy you build from celibacy. You can repeat the edging process multiple times to intensify you or your partner’s orgasm. For men, this exercise can increase the volume of ejaculation and force of ejaculation. This can be effective especially for men who suffer from premature ejaculation. Other popular terms that can describe the act of edging are peaking, surfing, or riding the edge.

Edging For Women

Edging for women is a difficult process to master. You want to focus on getting her to approach an orgasm, but don’t let it actually happen. Some people find it beneficial for the women to alert their partner when they are getting close to an orgasm so that their partner knows when to back off. When men typically hear that their women is about to ‘cum’, their usual instinct is to go harder, but in the case of edging, this requires some discipline from both participants. It is important to remember that as you are edging a woman, the smallest change can make a huge impact. Sometimes change will make a women lose the build up to an orgasm, or it may bring her over the edge. Losing an orgasm will send her into the refractory period, and then you will have to start over to build up that orgasm again. Staying consistent is key and the lighter touch, the better. In fact, 70% of women who like edging say lighter touches help to reduce the pressure when climax is near. Everyone is different so what works for one women may not work for another.

If you are going in solo you will also need to have some discipline as well. Our natural instinct is to keep going when something feels good, so you will need to be able to slow down and prevent yourself from orgasm, especially since you know your body best.

There are a variety of methods you can use to perform edging on a woman, but the easiest would be with the external clit (or clitoris). You can perform edging on your lady partner by rubbing, licking, and other movements. For a more advanced way to edge a women, you can try G-spot stimulation. The G-spot orgasm is harder to control because you are dealing with the sensitivity of the vagina walls, as well as vulva stimulation. It is recommended that you start out with a vibrator or dildo instead to stay more consistent in this area if you are just starting to learn how to edge.

Dom overpowering woman
Image: Dom

Edging For Men

Benefits for edging men include increased testosterone levels, lasting longer during sex, and self-discipline. Edging for men also helps to minimize or overcome premature ejaculation when done properly and consistently. During the edging process you are training the brain to be comfortable achieving a high level of sexual pleasure without ejaculating. Much like edging for a women, edging a man also follows the same principles. The giver and receiver must be disciplined and not get over excited during this process.

Edging for a man can occur with a hand job, blow job, vibrating cock ring, or whatever tickles your fancy. Let your imagination explore the possibilities. It is recommended that edging is done without the use of porn for a more controlled environment.

For men, there is also a popular ballooning technique that is similar to the edging, but a lot of men who have done it feel it is better than edging. Ballooning begins by masturbating and gently rubbing the sensitive part of the penis until full erection is achieved. Continue to stimulate and then just before ejaculation, you slow down the stimulation. At this time, you should incorporate medium Kegels exercises as you inhale, and then release the Kegels as you exhale. You should increase the intensity of the Kegels upon every inhale, and repeat this process just like you are doing reps in the gym. During intercourse, this technique can also provide a stimulating effect for the women.

Edging As A Dominant

Edging is often used as a way for a dominant to take control of their submissive by using erotic denial as control. Some masters allow their slave to masturbate without orgasm. Masters will usually give their slaves tasks and will tell a slave how many times during the day they should take themselves to the edge of orgasm and stop. The slave learns that their orgasms are owned by their master and practices control and discipline. The master can also incorporate punishments when they orgasm. Beyond edging, orgasm control for a dominant or master can also mean not allowing your slave/submissive to stop cumming until they beg you to stop.

It’s always beneficial to spice up your sexual routine. Now you know the basics, so get out there and experience edging for yourself! Whether you are going in solo, edging your partner, or receiving, the benefits from edging will help enhance you and your partner’s sex life for the better.

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