Clues And Warning Signs Of Psychopathic Seduction

Your deepest sexual desires are mirrored, that’s why it felt so passionate and flawless, like you were both in sync when together. The flow was limitless and fluid, they knew the exact places to touch, what to say and when to do the right things the compatibility was perfection.

Or so you think…

After you felt empty, fulfilled sexually but not emotionally, you kind of lay there lifeless for a moment stuck in your own thoughts during all the identity erosion there was no emotion.

You misunderstood the passion as emotion, why?

Because those most intimate fantasies you thought you shared were actually just grooming and observing, tailoring their behaviour to match yours. You were at your most vulnerable but they sat, watched and learnt; they never matched you in the spiritual pleasure you felt.

Their sexual approval and flattery becomes needed in such a way you feel desperate as that’s the only way you feel attractive. You become a target in which they control. They use their pull on you to make you feel desperate, needy and slutty. In the beginning, they couldn’t get enough of you but once you’re hooked the mind games start to play out, sex is withheld, making it a privilege that they hold.

Fundamentally, it is false that psychopaths make good lovers, generally they have low impulse control and are very promiscuous.  In the beginning, he is hyper sexualised with you, the “chase” and “conquest” excites him; you are merely a novelty. You drew him in though, the aura of your romance was seductive to him, and he couldn’t keep his hands from embracing your body, anywhere and everywhere. Control is vital in every aspect, how you dress, what you do, what you say, whether you wear makeup or not, to dress in a provocative manner, to practically cover yourself from head to toe, to humble them and satisfy their desire for indiscretion.

Your pleasure is their power.

Why do people have insecure attachment styles?

Recent studies into psychopaths have enlightened us to the fact that when women have “insecure attachment styles” it is often that they find themselves falling for the empty emotional core of the psychopath. This is instead of facing their fears of intimacy, and on top of that they are persistently dissatisfied with vaginal sex, they may have more anal sex and achieve orgasms through the use of vibrators. Research has shown that genitals are not the only part of the body sufficient for orgasm, without emotional fulfilment and a mental state of secure attachment there isn’t a sufficient depth for the ability to orgasm without sexual health aids.

Those of us with insecure attachment styles are anxious about intimacy, and thus avoid real closeness. A surface style relationship is more appealing than one of substance and depth. Women who fear intimacy or those who are avoidant, anxious or fear abandonment are stuck in a catch-22 situation, but becoming anxious is far less terrifying than the fear of actually becoming close to someone and allowing them the possibility to abandon them later on.

There is a genetic factor that contributes to insecure attachment styles where there is an alteration in the serotonin – receptor gene. But this isn’t always the full story and if it were to be a blanket reason for every self-depriving and self-destructive person they would have their fate there and then. More defines your insecure attachment style with how often you have an orgasm, your childhood, friends, social interactions all influence into this.

Psychopath
Image: Psychopathic lover

You may question why all this matters? And how can you obliterate all the years of your insecure attachment patterns?

To put it rather bluntly you need to stop dating men who cannot appreciate how you feel, and who you are. There is a land that psychopaths live in and that is in the realm of fantasy, there is no concept of standing by you during difficult times or even being compassionate towards your needs, and the only time he is close is when you are satisfying his immediate needs.

There is a brain-based method called spreading of alternatives this is where an individual evaluates the chosen alternative in a more positive manner and the rejected alternative more negatively; you need to start having vaginal orgasms rather than only anal and vibrator ones. There is a detachment you experience with anal and vibrator orgasms and you need to allow yourself to feel the full intimacy and vulnerability that comes with a vaginal orgasm.

How do you stop the cycle of insecure attachment patterns?

You have two alternatives to stopping this vicious cycle of endless surface relationships. Number one is by not changing, and being in the empty relationship without real intimacy or vaginal orgasms. Number two is to face your fear of intimacy and move on to someone and something more fulfilling, because your brain is so accustomed to your insecure attachment style it cannot make a distinction between the two, and so it simply regresses to what you already know every time.  Making a list of why staying away from intimacy is harmful to you is always a visual help, it may cause your anxiety to be heightened but only due to the fact you are conquering your deepest fears head on.

Ideas are not set in stone. When exposed to thoughtful people, they morph and adapt into their most potent form.

Ironically psychopaths are lovers who cannot love, this isn’t always obvious at first when the psychopath becomes infatuated with you and is pursuing you intensely, but becomes agonisingly apparent over time. If you don’t become numb to the mistreatment or stay in the realm of denial you come to the realisation that everything that is important and vital in a relationship is missing, just when you thought you had it all.

Morgan x

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

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