HELP! My Boyfriend Hates My Sex Toys.

Red Head On Bed

Did your lover want to use a vibrator to experience the ultimate climax? Are you worried that she will end up spending too much time with it at your expense? Research has shown that sales of vibrators for women have skyrocketed with even some celebrities like Rihanna spending thousands of dollars on them. With such soaring sales, it seems that women are depending more on toys to satisfy their sexual desires. As a man, this makes me worried and I can understand why most men are intimidated by these devices.

If you are a man and feel that vibrators for women are a threat to you, it is time you embarked in a completely new direction. If you are using a sex toy on her, you can stimulate her clit with your other hand or mouth so that you are involved in the action. You can also make a point of investing in toys that are designed for use by couples and take control while having sex. Have you ever thought about using a Cock Ring? It will send both of you to the heavens. A Cock Ring is used to increase the blood flow in the penis which will make your erection feel stronger and help you to last longer.

Sex toys are an excellent gift to give your girl for special occasions such as on Valentine’s Day or on a Wedding Anniversary. But it can prove to be quite trickier than you anticipate getting the right sex toy that will please her. It is very easy to choose something that she won’t like and if you are not careful, you might even end up offending her or upsetting her and this is the last thing you want to. So before you order a sex toy for her from an adult store, you must have an idea of exactly what she wants and then shop for it.

In any relationship, communication is vital, it is the only way to know exactly what she likes. If you manage to identify a sex toy that she wants, this will instantly jump start your sex life. First, you will need to be very attentive when having sex with your girl. Take your time to understand what gives her fast and wild orgasms. She may like clitoral stimulation, g-spot stimulation or she may like you to stimulate her g-spot and clitoris at the same time. Once you have decoded her desires and needs, you will know which sex toys to give her.

LELO Luxury Vibrating Sex Toy
Buy Now | LELO Sex Toy Adultshop Online

Buying a cheaply made sex toy that is of poor quality will disappoint her and she will hate you for it. These toys not only fail to get the job done appropriately but they may easily break which means you will have to replace them. They can also cause allergic reactions while others might expose her body to toxic materials.

When giving your girl a gift, it is essential that you go for a high end or luxury sex toy that will surely impress her. A gift must be special and be a symbol that you really love her. These sex toys are made with higher quality features, functions and materials. Some of these sex toys may be whisper quiet, waterproof, having multiple vibrations modes and are often made with body safe materials that are phthalate free. They may be priced higher but you will never regret your purchase as you will definitely get the value for the money you spend.

I personally recommend buying a luxury sex toy made by the adult lifestyle brand LELO. My favourite vibrator from their range is the LELO Mona Wave which moves back and forth in a come hither motion. It is ergonomically designed to fit comfortably in the palm of your hand and is made using body safe materials. It has a travel locking feature so you are able to take it with you anywhere without the fear of accidently turning on. Within a few minutes of using the LELO Mona Wave, she will experience a mind blowing G-Spot orgasm.

Sex toys for adults have really transformed a lot over the past couple of years, you no longer have to buy products made from toxic materials. These days you are able to buy a powerful sex toy made with high quality materials and functions which will pleasure you. I recommend shopping at Adultsmart which is an online trusted sex toy shop which stocks a wide range of these wonderful products to ensure that your healthy sex life doesn’t start spiraling downhill. You will always find something that is perfect for the two of you. There are so many toys available that can make your sex life extremely pleasurable.



Richard runs the marketing and social profiles of adultsmart and adultsmart blog. He has been in the industry just over 10 years and enjoys his role both in an administrative capacity as well keeping abreast of issues relating to sexual health and lifestyles.

P-Spot Beyond Pleasure!

Man Wearing Underwear

I don’t need to explain to the homosexual readers of this blog the pleasures that come from the prostates involvement in your sexual activities. This article is for the hetero-curious men and couples out there reading. It is about opening up to find pleasure and equality through the prostate.

From the beginning of our sexual explorations and curiosities we learn from what we see, and as the prostate is unseen it is rarely spoken about. Not to mention the “Taboo” associated with anal play. The stigma that men who participate in anal play must be gay.. is too long outdated and is in serious need of a new outlook. The act of a man participating in a prostate orgasm allows for a man to step outside of the societal gender roles and hand the power over to his female partner. Too rarely does a man ever get to experience the receptive part or sex, all too often they take the common role of “Pitching” and leave the “Catching” or receptive aspect of sex to their female partners. This ideology is what I believe to be a huge factor in why the notion of gender roles are as they are currently.

A mutual knowledge of the vulnerability/ the expected role of a woman starts from experiencing two sides of the same coin. In this particular topic, penetration is the coin. For a man who has never experienced penetration on himself, he might intellectually understand the need for the “warm-up” before penetration, however, nothing can demonstrate its importance as well as experiencing it first hand. There’s always a clearer perspective that comes from personal experience.

What Is A Prostate You Ask?

The prostate is a small gland made up of mostly muscle tissue that sits around the base of the bladder. Its main function is to secrete fluids that are mixed with the Semen from the Vas Deference during orgasm. This is the most important piece of information for this article. A man’s prostate is most active at the moment leading to orgasm when pressure is added to the already pulsing Prostate gland creates an even more powerful ejaculate which heightens the feeling of orgasm. This reason alone should be enough to intrigue any man!

Through prostate orgasm, a man is able to reach multiple orgasms… Yes, I said it! A man can have multiple orgasms too! It is not just for the ladies.

Image Of The P-Spot
Buy Now | Prostate Adult Store Online

Benefits Beyond Pleasure

When you engage the prostate with massage/added pressure, as I previously said allows for larger ejaculation orgasms. This helps to empty and refresh the prostate. It also encourages blood flow to the pelvic area, this helps to fight impotence. Yes playing with this little gland can help ensure you have healthy erections well into agedness. There is also a ton of research being done currently as to how having a regularly refreshed prostate lowers the potential risk of prostate cancer found so commonly in men.There are many other benefits of prostate massage.

How To Engage In Prostate Stimulation?

The prostate can be stimulated by adding pressure to the anatomy of the perineum (the space between the testicles and the anus. However direct contact from inside is always more intimate with greater effects. The prostate can be reached by inserting one finger into the anus approximately 1.5-2 inches tip of the finger pointing to the naval and rolling your finger in a come hither motion. You should feel a Squishy marble as you do this, that’s the prostate. Very easy to find. Keep in mind the skin around the anal opening is very sensitive and can tear very easily. EXTRA Lube is necessary. Start with a warm up; caress the outside of the anus (the anus has as many nerve ending as any other erogenous zone). Try stroking the penis, as the penis gets erect the blood flow around the prostate will also increase created a heightened pleasure sense.

Effects On The Relationship

For hetero-normative couples, it is understandable how “flipping” the roles could potentially have some uncharted territory. But that’s no reason to avoid or judge something. Especially something that has so much potential. Communication is key! You are in this together! Sex is more than just procreation. Sex is also about pleasure and as discussed has countless health benefits. What this will allow or aid in with couples in establishing compassion, empathy and understanding towards each other. It may not eliminate gender based unfairness or sexism, it does have the ability to open equal understanding and dialogue.

If you’re open enough to try a new world of pleasure, just remember to relax, have fun. It’s VERY NORMAL. Millions of men and women worldwide have already found the amazing pleasure to be had from this great pleasure zone. Everyone should want to be on the same page as their partner

About the author: KrizPatrick BA(Hon) Psychology- Human SexualitySave








Patrick Kriz has a Bachelor Degree (Honours) in Psychology – Human Sexuality. Patrick is a wonderful man that has a wealth of knowledge and is happy to share this with those around him. He is articulate, educated and the provider or interesting and educational writings.

Having been a regular contributor to this blog for the past couple of months he has consented to add his profile to our ever expanding list of bloggers that provide us with the great content provided to you. We thank all our contributors and authors and a special thanks to Patrick whom we deem to be an expert on all things relating to sexual wellness and adult lifestyle with quality writings. Be sure to follow Patrick on Instagram.

What You Need To Know About HIV and AIDS

HIV Red Ribbon Photo

I have just returned from an intensive week of university completing my post graduate studies in Sexology and have so many things to share, I don’t know where to start!! Throughout the week, we explored a range of topics ranging from gender and sexual identity to paraphilia’s and BDSM. The intention for the intensive week was to explore our personal assumptions, judgements and beliefs regarding sexual health and human sexual expression. For someone who thought she was already educated in this field, it was invaluable experience to know there is so much more out there to know!

As I write this, I am listening to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen which reminds me of one topic in particular which I find so important to share. The lead singer of Queen, Freddie Mercury, died on the 24th of November, 1991, due to complications associated with Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS). According to The World Health Organisation, his death was just one of over 35 million deaths associated with this illness since the early 1980’s outbreak, with 70 million people having contracted Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) in this time.

So much has changed since the early days of HIV. Being infected with HIV used to be a death sentence, now thanks to advancements in treatment options, HIV positive individuals can live a long and healthy life. I wish to share some information that I believe is so important for all people to understand. It is obvious to me that in our society, there still exists a strong stigma and lack of education regarding HIV and AIDS. This lack of education can lead to wrong assumptions and unhealthy judgements for people living with HIV so I hope this article can shed some light on the reality of HIV and AIDS.

HIV is a blood borne virus that attacks the body’s immune system. If a person contracts HIV and does not seek treatment, the virus can develop into AIDS, which is the later stage of HIV infection and leaves an individual susceptible to opportunistic infections. Developing AIDS leads to a significantly lower life expectancy. Luckily treatment for HIV in Australia is readily available and the large majority of people who have contracted HIV will not develop AIDS.


PrEP Photo Banner
Photo: PrEP – What You Need To Know About HIV/AIDS


HIV can be contracted from semen, pre-ejaculate, vaginal fluids, rectal fluids, breast milk or blood. If any of these bodily fluids of a HIV positive individual enter the blood stream of another, there is a varied risk of contracting the virus depending on their viral loading (Viral loading being the level of HIV detectable in the blood).

This virus can be spread in many ways, the most common ways include anal sex, vaginal sex and intravenous drug use. Just to be clear, you can not contract HIV from the following: Air, water, mosquitoes, ticks, insects, saliva, tears, sweat that is not mixed with the blood of a HIV-positive person, shaking hands, hugging, sharing toilets, sharing dishes/drinking glasses, closed-mouth or “social” kissing with someone who is HIV-positive, drinking fountains and other sexual activities that don’t involve the exchange of body fluids (For example, touching).

As is with all sexually transmitted infections and BBV’s, abstinence is the only 100% effective way to avoid contracting HIV. I am a realist and understand that with many people, abstinence from sexual activity is not a healthy option. Luckily there are many extremely effective precautions that can be implemented into your sexual experiences so that your chance of contracting HIV is diminished.

Taking precautions such as using condoms with oral, vaginal and anal sex, getting tested regularly and avoiding contact with bodily fluids are some effective ways to avoid contracting HIV including the use of PrEP and PEP.

PrEP (Pre-exposure prophylaxis) is an antiretroviral drug taken by HIV negative people to prevent HIV infection. It is becoming more readily available to certain demographics in Australia who are at greater risk of HIV, in particular for men who have sex with men. Talk to you doctor or discuss with a health care professional at a sexual health clinic for more information.

PEP (Post-exposure prophylaxis) is a 4-week course of an antiretroviral drug taken after potential exposure to HIV. It must be taken within 72 hours of exposure for it to be effective and is best taken as soon as possible within this time frame. It can be prescribed from Emergency Departments and sexual health clinics across Australia.

For those diagnosed with HIV, antiretroviral drugs are the most common treatment option. These drugs work by keeping the viral loading of the drug (viral loading being the level of HIV in the blood) down. These drugs are so advanced that the viral load of individuals taking them as prescribed can be undetectable. This means that the chance of these people transmitting HIV to another person is extremely low.

HIV is not a death sentence like it used to be. Despite being a virus that will stay with an individual for life, there is extremely effective treatment available in Australia which means a person with HIV can be undetectable and completely healthy.

Have safe sex to avoid being infected with an STI or BBV is extremely important for all sexually active individuals.  For more information, I highly recommend checking out the Ending HIV website and the Family Planning NSW website. There can be so much misleading information out there, it is important to learn from reputable sources.



Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA Nursing








Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph’s writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.

10 Penis Facts That’ll Blow Your Mind

Man in Bed Photo

There are a lot of questions about how a man’s penis operates that we often find ourselves thinking but struggle to find the answer to. Have you ever wanted to know why men experience erections in their sleep or why testicles shrink when it’s cold? This article answers those hard to ask questions here are 10 Penis Facts That’ll Blow Your Mind.

Is the penis a bone, a muscle or an organ? The penis is an organ which is made up of muscle tissue. Like any other muscle, the penis can be exercised to maintain strength and elasticity.

What is the average penis size? The National Health Service claimed that the average erect penis size is 14cm to 16cm which is 5.5 inches to 6.3 inches. The average erect penis girth is 12cm to 13cm which is 4.7 inches to 5.1 inches.

Are there different types of erections? There are two different types of erections including psychogenic and reflex.

  • Psychogenic: Psychogenic erections occur when a man think of thoughts or images which are sexually arousing. The nerves within his body reacts which tells his body to form an erection.
  • Reflex: Reflex erections can happen without any types of arousing thoughts or images. It can be triggered by a full bladder which stimulates nerves within the spinal cord. It is often thought that erections from having a full bladder is your body’s natural process to prevent urinating where you are sleeping.

What are the different penis types? There are five common different penis types that range in functionality and shape.

  • Circumcised Penises: Circumcised Penises are penises that have the foreskin removed. It is one of the most common types of penises worldwide.
  • Uncircumcised Penises: Uncircumcised Penises are penises that have the foreskin intact. People who have uncircumcised penises need to spend some extra time cleaning due to the extra skin.
  • Growers: A grower is when a man’s penis becomes much bigger during erection compared to when he is flaccid. An international Men’s Health survey found that 79 percent of men have growers.
  • Showers: A shower is when a man’s penis remains a similar size to when he is flaccid to erect. An international Men’s Health survey found that 21 percent of men have showers.
  • Curved Penises: Curved Penises often bend gently in one direction normally to the left or the right. The curve of the penis is made obvious when he is erect.


Penis Model Photo
Photo: 10 Penis Facts That’ll Blow Your Mind – Penis Model


Why do men get erections in the morning? When men are awake they release a hormone named noradrenaline into their body which prevents erections.  Noradrenaline is released less when you are in REM sleep, so you are more likely to have erections when you are asleep and in the morning when you wake up.

How does alcohol impact men during sex? It is the common assumption that alcohol provides people with Dutch courage and bravery which is often the case in social interactions. Alcohol is a depressant and has some negative side effects for men that can include lower levels of arousal. It can make erections and orgasms more difficult to achieve, sometimes giving people temporary erectile dysfunction. The McKinley Health Center at the University of Illinois say that it is most common in men who have a blood alcohol concentration above .08.

Is blue balls a real thing? Blue balls is also known as prostatic congestion, it often happens after a man has been in a state of arousal for a long period of time without the relief of ejaculation. It can cause pain within and around the testicles due to uneven blood flow which can trap blood in the genitals. His penis and testicles may appear to be enlarged during his experience with Blue Balls. Not everyone man experiences blue balls and some people consider blue balls a myth. To help with blue balls it is recommended that men regularly masturbate, eat healthy and go on walks. Ejaculation can almost immediately get rid of blue balls.

How do condoms impact sex? Condoms provide a thin layer of latex to cover an erect penis that is used prevent the transmission of sexual infections and pregnancy. Although the layer of latex is thin, condoms take away from some of the pleasurable sensations of sexual penetration. This means men may enjoy larger amounts of foreplay to make the experience as pleasurable as possible.

What happens to a man after he ejaculates? After a man has orgasmed a mixture of chemicals are released into their body including oxytocin, vasopressin and prolactin. Lower levels of prolactin dictate that the man is able to recover quicker. Higher levels of prolactin mean they will have to go through a recovery time before they are able to ejaculate again which will make them feel sleepy. Oxytocin and vasopressin are another two chemicals that make people sleepy. Oxytocin can also provide people with lower levels of stress which aids in deep relaxation.

Why does a man’s penis and testicles shrink when it’s cold? The human body is made to reserve heart and energy supplies. If a man is cold, the penis and testicles will raise themselves closer to the body in an effort to remain warm. Your body also directs more blood flow from external body parts like the fingers and toes to help with regular function of your organs. When the weather becomes warmer, a man’s body will readjust back to normal size due to increased blood flow.




Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog.

What Affects Levels of Libido

Couple in Bed Low Libido Photo

A spreadsheet released by a Reddit user recorded all the excuses his wife used to reject his sexual advances over a 44 day period. He had made a total of 27 sexual advances and only had sex with her 3 times which is an extremely high failure rate. The excuses his wife came up with provide a hilarious personal look into a couple’s sexual lifestyle. Some of the funnier statements include:

“I’m watching the show” (Friends re-run)

“I’m sweaty and gross, and I’m tired.”

“I’m not feeling good, I ate too much”


This spreadsheet may fit into a stereotypical view of the reasons why people do not want to have sex. In this case, a women who is too tired to have sex due to a busy lifestyle. However, in reality there is no real stereotype that men and women should fall under when it comes to the reasons why people have different levels of sexual desire. The truth is, some men and women may want sex all the time whilst others may want it sometimes and some not at all. There are many underlying factors that contribute to a low sexual desire that include mental health issues, medical problems, levels of attraction, performance anxiety and age. Listed below are factors linked in with having low levels of libido.

Mental Health Issues

Often depression, high stress levels of stress and anxiety are the main mental health factors that affect sex drive. Beyondblue claims that 1 million Australian adults have depression whilst 2 million have anxiety. Other problems may include relationship problems, family issues, poor body image and low self-esteem.

Medical Problems

Medical issues like diabetes, high blood pressure, chronic pain, hypertension, sleep problems and high cholesterol impacts levels of sexual arousal. A person’s sex drive can also be affected by medications and drugs. The most common medications that affect sex drive include antidepressants, antihistamines and blood pressure medication.

Some people also experience Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSSD). HSSD is when a person has no sexual desire, fantasies or thoughts about sexual activity. It becomes a disorder when the people who have almost no levels of arousal actually want an active sex life. It is said that this disorder impacts under 15% of women who are between 20 and 60. In hopes to help this medical issue, medical professionals are creating a female Viagra named “Lybrido”. Often the people who have this disorder are labelled as being “reserved” but HSSD is not in their control.


Women’s sex drive can be influenced by social and cultural factors. A women may naturally be ingrained to be aroused to a person who is able to support and protect her.


Reddit Spreadsheet of Sexual Advances Image
Image: What Affects Levels of Libido – Reddit Spreadsheet


Performance Anxiety

A man’s performance anxiety is linked with premature ejaculation, how they perform in the bedroom and society pressure. During penetrative sex, men often feel their partner has to always orgasm. This unrealistic view can be a problem especially when only 26% of women experience an orgasm during sex. Whereas 75% of men orgasm during sex.


Men have their highest sex drive between the ages of 15 to 20. As men age they experience drops in levels of testosterone which will give them a lower sexual libido. Testosterone impacts a man’s development of sex organs, body hair, bone mass and muscles. They may require more physical stimulation and higher levels of mental stimulation to get an erection. This means it will also take men longer to reach ejaculation. A man’s testosterone levels are higher in the morning than they are at night.

Women have their highest sex drive between the ages of 35 to 40. Women also experience Menopause where their estrogen levels drop drastically. The average age a woman experiences menopause is 51 years old. It appears that menopause is genetically linked, so around the age the woman’s nearest relatives have experienced it will be around the same age a women experiences it.

It is important to note that the aging process is normal and the changes do not happen all at the one time. The way people reach orgasm and make love can be slightly different to how they did it when they were teenagers. Although reaching orgasm may take more time, they are able to enjoy the process of sex more thoroughly by engaging in physical and emotional connections.

Seek Professional Help

People who experience low levels of libido can seek professional treatment. For mental health issues, you can talk to trained mental health professionals like a counselor, a psychologist or a psychiatrist. People who are experiencing relationship issues can seek help through sex therapy or relationship counseling. Whilst people who experience medical problems should seek help from their general practitioner for more information.

Some lifestyle changes can be made to help improve sexual desire that include:

  • Eating healthy
  • Getting the right levels of sleep
  • Using stress management techniques
  • Exercise






Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog.