Resolutions for Sexual Health and Happiness

Couple Holding Hands in Bed

The New Year has officially already started (unless you celebrate the Lunar New Year of course – it’s almost our year again, fellow Roosters), but it’s not too late to make some resolutions for a better sex life. These are some suggestions to get you thinking. Perhaps they won’t all apply to your situation, and if that’s the case you can always make up some of your own instead! In no particular order, here are ten of my top tips for making 2017 satisfying.

Get familiar with your own body – this has been among the top pieces of advice I have heard from every sex expert ever, from the day, as a young teen, that I bought my first ‘Girlfriend’ magazine – and I suspect it will always be go-to advice for the simple reason that it works. Especially if you are a woman, self-exploration and masturbation has often been a dirty concept in our society and until recently it really wasn’t something ‘respectable girls’ did at all or at least admitted to. This is just my opinion, but it’s probably a big part of the reason many women professed not to particularly enjoy sex. OK, there are other reasons I can think of too. For example, partners who weren’t taught to think of women’s pleasure or know how to give it even if they did, little choice in who their partner would be (especially relevant if either party was in fact not heterosexual, just saying…), the very expectation that it wouldn’t be too enjoyable setting you up to fail…

But I can’t help but think that in spite of all that if women knew through their own exploration what the parts of their body were, looked like and felt like, and how good it *could* feel, they would have been compelled to do *something* differently, even if it just meant continuing to masturbate in private. I think that there have always been rebels who were lucky and curious enough to discover this for themselves, but I know that even today a great many women are still too shy or worried to really explore their own bodies. But listen, it is not dirty, I promise you (unless you want it to be). It is natural, it is smart, and it will quite likely improve your romantic relationships.  Go downtown. And this advice doesn’t ONLY apply to women. Hell, even if you are a dude who has been comfortably whacking off since you were twelve, I bet there’s still something left to learn about your body. Maybe you have never explored many of your erogenous zones other than the penis and testicles? Try taking some extra time and explore your whole body. Don’t just focus on having an orgasm, instead simply be in the moment and discover what else feels good outside of your tried-and-true methods

Experience the Big O

If you have never had an orgasm, in spite of being sexually active (either alone or with a partner), you may feel like you are the only one but I guarantee you are not alone. Many people don’t discover how to have an orgasm early on in their sexual exploration. In fact, some people go through their whole sexual lives without ever coming. But there are lots of ways to get you there, and providing you are not suffering from medical issues most are pretty simple but may take some time and patience. First, see resolution #1. Secondly, consider getting yourself some sex toys to help you along. There are a wide selection of toys to choose from, why not visit our online store and have a browse?

Stay Safe and Use Protection

If you have been slacking off in the condom/dental dam department, now is the time to resolve to do better by yourself (and your partners).  Another form of protection that you may or may not have heard of is PrEP.  It is a pill you take daily which is highly effective at preventing HIV. Have a chat with your doctor about how you can best protect yourself and keep a happy, healthy sex life.

Stay Safe and Get Tested

Whether you have been putting off that routine STD test or pap smear, or if you have been experiencing symptoms out of the usual it is time to bite the bullet and visit a sexual health clinic or your friendly doctor. If you are not super comfortable with your current doctor part of this resolution should be finding a new one that you do feel at ease with. You will thank yourself later, trust me.

 

Couple Being Happy In Bed Photo
Photo: Resolutions for Sexual Health and Happiness

Change it Up

Do something a little different, sexually. This could be anything from mild to wild. It could be as simple as trying a new sex position or as adventurous as visiting a (sex) dungeon. It’s not about proving anything, or being the edgiest sexual adventurer, just keeping the possibilities fresh.

Be Yourself

Resolve to be as true to yourself as you can be. Now, I’m not saying that if you are gay and in the closet that you should come out to your homophobic parents or anything big like that if you are not safe to do so or not ready to do so. But someone who you should be able to trust with your secrets and your true desires is yourself.  Be kind to yourself and honour your true feelings however you can. And this doesn’t just apply to LGBTQI issues, it can also be as seemingly small a thing as asking for what you want with your partner, or as crucial a thing as saying ‘no’ to what you don’t want.

Be a Respectful Lover

Respect the wishes of others. As long as they don’t infringe on your needs/boundaries you should be making every effort to respect the wishes of your sexual partner/s. This year I resolve to be extra vigilant.

Explore Your Fantasy

Have you been keeping a sexy little secret up your sleeve? Been too shy to spell it out for your lover? Perhaps you dream of being tied up (or of doing the tying?) Maybe you like women in uniform or men in women’s lingerie but have been too scared to see if your love would be interested in playing along? Let this be the year that you speak up, write it down, or hell, even act it out on video. Just remember to be respectful of your partner J

Take Time to Recharge

Need a little ‘me time’? Feeling a bit stretched and thin lately? Is your sex life suffering as a result? Self care is important for many reasons but one of the most common reasons is experiencing a loss of libido or a slightly ‘meh’ love life is simple tiredness and stress. Depending on your life and responsibilities it may be easier or harder to get some essential downtime. But even if all you can manage is a few minutes alone in the shower, try to engage in mindfulness in that few minutes. It won’t replace good sleep but it will help your body control its physiological stress response and you will feel more together if you can practice this regularly. Even better, if you can, is to take a reasonable chunk of time for yourself on a regular basis, daily, or weekly. Spend it doing something that relaxes you and recharges your spirits. Take a bubble bath, pursue a hobby, go for a ramble in nature or simply have a nap. You will find that many areas of your life improve if you can take a little time for yourself. It’s not selfish, it’s sensible.

Improve Your Communication

I know that this one is always an important point for me. Whether you are single or in any kind of relationship, effective communication is key to happiness and satisfaction. If you have a partner, a part of this can be taking time out specifically to be together, validating each other and showing that you have time for and interest in each others needs and concerns. Turn off your phones, touch each other (physical connection), and listen. Couples counseling can also be a godsend. It may seem like something out of a cheesy movie but I personally know several couples that owe their blissful happiness and steel-strong bond to couples counseling.

About the Author: Jade is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Stephen is a cis-gendered gay male who spends far too much time with his two cats and eating tim tams. A self-identified sex-positive advocate he cares deeply about gender equality, disabilities, sexual education and social issues. Opinionated and bold he isn’t afraid to speak his mind and say what others won’t. With a yearning for knowledge and experience in all things relating to sex, he is a prolific writer that has developed the content for a myriad of informative Sexual Health and Wellness websites.

Stephen’s articles and writings tends to focus on social issues, sexual education, queer issues and all things fetish and absurd. He comes qualified with the completion of a double Bachelor degree in Social Sciences and literature, and a Masters in Education.

Find Out Your Penis Type!

Man Wearing Jeans

There are several reasons affecting the joyful moments gained from sex such as the level of arousal, the chemical attraction between people engaged in sexual activity, position during intercourse, tightness of vagina/anus, penis size, penis shape and so on. There is no doubt that all of us want to maximise the sexual satisfaction, so we are looking for ways to improve the gratification. To achieve this, putting all other variables aside, we should have a closer look at the various shapes of penises, firstly, then I may give you a few tips on how to attain maximum joy with different penises.

First and foremost, penises can be classified basically as circumcised and uncircumcised. It is known that the uncircumcised men have more sensations than the circumcised ones do during sexual activity as they have foreskin to stimulate their frenulum. However, cleaning process can be a burden on them because bacteria can be easily trapped in foreskin and it may need special attention; not a big deal though. You are also free to give some additional examples of penis types like veiny, black, fat, petite; but I don’t want this kind of classification to be our approach in this article tough. On the other hand, there are two main groups of penis which are grow-ers and show-ers. Simply, show-ers have nearly the same penis size both in flaccid and erected state whilst the grow-ers are smallish in flaccid state but they exhibit what they have in the package when erected. Having had a general look at penises, we can move onto the types that I compiled for you.
Types of Different Penises
Graph: Penis Types
  1. Pencil (Straight, Rocket): This kind of penis has thin shaft with narrower head which is pretty uniform from the base to the tip. Whilst the shape is good for anal penetration due to its narrow tip helping with easy insertion, pushing the walls of both vagina and anus with a thicker penis would be more favourable for most recipients. Additionally, it is known that longer penises may hit the cervix and cause pain during intercourse, so the sex position must be chosen wisely. Doggy style is an option for this kind of penis and it enables him to stimulate her clitoris with his hands while having sex which is a must-have for most women. Well, the most suitable position for this type of penis seems like the receiver lies down on their back and he penetrates while he is on his knees so that the receiver can put their feet on his chest and in that way, not only does the receiver control the depth of penetration but also tightens their vagina/anus.
  2. Banana (Curved): This type of penis can be curved either downward or upward with 10 degree angle at most. Whilst the glans and the base have the same diameter, the shaft is thicker in the middle which applies extra pressure during penetration. If the curvature has more than 10 degree that can be a sign of a disease and it is better to seek medical attention before things get worse as sex can sometimes be painful for both parties. If it is curved downward, reverse cowgirl will be your favourite position to play; if it is upward, missionary position will help him hit G-Spot/P-spot easily and perfectly. Additionally, Pogo Stick where he stands with his partner’s legs around his waist and he embraces his partner’s ass then they bounce together in a harmony, is another option for upward ones to have added ejaculations. By the way, I should warn you that even if banana type of penis looks small at first glance due to its nature, you will understand when he penetrates you that the look can sometimes be deceptive.
  3. Mushroom (Big Glans): This penis type has uniform shaft with bigger glans. Whilst oral sex can be enjoyable with this kind of penis, it is hard to say the same thing for anal penetration so some precautions should be taken prior to the intercourse like extending foreplay or raise in the amount of lube used. And I also think that doggy style would be pretty helpful to have orgasms with mushroom penis.
  4. Carrot (Cone): This type of penis gradually thickens from the tip to the base with its smaller head. It is suitable for deep penetration, you don’t feel anything at first but it pushes the inner walls as it goes further in its way due to increasing girth to the base. Additionally, it doesn’t disturb cervix as the other types would do and it is favourable for anal play as well for the very same reasons.
To be honest, it is OK to prefer a special one over the others, I have my own personal favourite too among all these possibilities aforementioned. Nevertheless, we should know that every penis is unique and every single of them has absolutely something to offer to anybody as long as we know how to use it.

About the Author: Goki is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Andrew is right into the Fet Lifestyle and enjoys BDSM. He has written about these subjects in many arena’s and is an expert at Shibari. He shares his knowledge by working with Adultsmart a sex toy store. Enjoy the descriptive and educational articles he has written.

Effortlessly Help Sexual Over-Sensitivity

Couple in Bed in the Morning

Sensation as quoted by the dictionary as being

“A perception associated with stimulation of a sense organ or with a specific body condition. The faculty to feel or perceive; physical sensibility. An indefinite, generalized body feeling.”

When talking about sensation in regards to adult toys it is usually perceived as more sensation means more pleasure. It can also be believed that there is “no such thing as too much stimulation”. While in a lot of cases there is a direct correspondence between pleasure and amount of stimulation experienced both men and women can suffer from sexual over sensitivity. We have found that the main people who experienced it is inexperienced people, sometimes over sensitivity is also linked with a medical related issue.

Over sensitivity is a difficult feeling to describe. Some people say that over sensitivity is when stimulation can cause different uncomfortable sensations like:

  • Pain with no pleasure
  • Discomfort, dick or uneasiness feeling
  • Odd sensations like a odd tickling feeling or a cold object touching your skin giving your shivers
  • Inability to orgasm or climax
  • Premature ejaculation
  • Feelings of embarrassment and stress

Unfortunately these issues usually cause a lot of frustration between couples and the one who suffers from over sensitivity are usually too embarrassed to seek help. In many cases issues like these become unresolved leading to an unsatisfying sexual lifestyle. After doing a bit of research on the Internet, I find people ask similar questions like this one:

“My wife is so sensitive that she finds even foreplay too much. Is this a medical issue, or is there something we can do differently?”

Over sensitivity can be caused by excessive pressure or too much stimulation. Be sure to communicate honestly with your lover, make sure you tell your partner if they are stroking too strongly or too quickly. If your lover is struggling to pleasure you, try to guide their hand to show them how you like it. When you guide them you can either place their hand over yours or underneath yours whilst you show them how you would normally masturbate. This will take a lot of practice on both of your behalves, it is definitely not a process which will happen over night but with time people will do their best to develop their skill sets.

A very common symptom of over sensitivity, more so then discomfort or pain which can effect anyone of any experience level is premature ejaculation. An amazing option for men to assist them with premature ejaculation is for them to increase their use of male masturbators. By increasing the use of male masturbators, men can gradually become desensitised to the pleasure of stimulation. By using male masturbators the person is training to increase their levels of sexual stamina. There are two fleshlights wich are aimed to help with this process including the fleshlight stamina training unit and the fleshlight original.

Male Masturbators Online

The training unit is great as it provides different levels of stimulation while the original might be actually better as it has no ribs that would cause more stimulation and pressure. But either option you choose, just be sure to use copious amounts of lubrication and once you become comfortable start to reduce the amount of lubrication you use. Using more lubrication will help you reduce higher amounts of friction and stimulation over time.

Masturbating and ejaculating before intercourse may help some people last longer for their second round of intercourse. When you are having intercourse you can use thicker condoms.

For the ladies when you are using vibrators I recommend buying one that is made from a silicone coating. Vibrators have a great range of intensities. When masturbating, it is important to start off with a low vibration as it will give you less stimulation. With repetitive use your clitorus may become less sensitive.  If you use a lot of lubrication over your clitoris it can hugely decrease the amount of stimulation you will feel.

Another solution that is a quick way to minimise sensitivity is numbing and desensitising creams, oils or sprays. These desensitising solutions are usually used for anal intercourse or are sprayed or drank by men to numb their penis.

If over sensitivity is affecting you life and the above solutions don’t help then just remember that it’s quite common and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed to go see a doctor, especially if it’s affecting your sex life and relationships. There are a few other ways to reduce sensitivity but they are not all effective or involve medical procedures like the circumcision for men. These methods need to be consulted with your general practitioner or medical specialist professional.

By Bronson a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

9 Ways To Manage Chronic Pain

Pain hurts, no matter which way you look at it, pain is uncomfortable and distressing. Even the most stoic people among us, when faced with chronic pain, will find themselves faltering. Given that so much of sexual arousal is directly related to the psychology of a person, it’s no wonder that pain can hamper sex and intimacy. Pain makes you tired, it makes it hard to concentrate, it makes it hard to tease apart the fact you are aroused away from the actual sensation of pain. In spite of feeling mentally aroused, pain can make it difficult to ascertain that a sexual response has started physically.

Pain can also rapidly shut down a sexual response and completely ruin any pleasure one was feeling. Pain can make you hurt so much you can’t continue and leave you feeling like a sexual failure. As well, if all that wasn’t enough, pharmacological treatments for pain can reduce libido, impede the physical sexual response by reducing erections and can hinder women from producing natural lubrication. All of these symptoms added together can make you anorgasmic, whereby despite sexual stimulation you are unable to reach climax and orgasm. It feels… nice, but you never really start to climb the crescendo towards the pinnacle of orgasm because you can not maintain the orgasmic feeling.

As a warrior of chronic pain for 12 years, I’ve personally felt the impact pain has had on my sex life. I’ve felt the sexual failures as I’ve struggled to navigate pain, intimacy and sex. I’ve learned that what one feels is always valid. With plenty of patience, compassion and communication it is vital to you and your partner enjoying yourselves with a mind-blowing sexual encounter.

Chronic Pain Ramp

From my personal experience, here are some things I’ve learnt so far:

  1. If medications help to ease pain levels, ensure you’ve taken these medications with enough time for them to be active prior to sexual encounters to give you the best chance at enjoying yourself. If medications are impeding your arousal and ability to orgasm, speak with your doctor/pain team about alternatives.
  2. Experiment with different positions and use as many objects as needed to ensure you are comfortable at all times. Pillows, cushions, rolled up blankets and towels etc can be used to support whichever positions you find yourselves in. Use lounges, chairs, tables and bench tops to positions yourselves. There is a wonderful range of products designed to help with positioning. The companies Liberator and Sportsheets offer products to help with positioning during sex.
  3. Discover products at Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres that can enhance arousal and shorten time to orgasm. There are products like sexual arousal gels, vibrating adult toys and lubricants.
  4. This point cannot be emphasized enough – Communicate!  To have the best sexual experience it is important to be always open an honest. It’s OK to start a sexual encounter and find yourself not enjoying it and wanting to stop. Let your partner know your sexual needs so that both of you can be flexible and open to your approaches. If you become disinterested with sex, switch from sexual activity to intimacy. Try being close to one another naked, enjoying skin on skin contact. You can also enjoy a massage together as the feeling of closeness and relaxation may make it easier to continue on to have sex.
  5. Create a new definition of what sex means to you and your partner. Sex doesn’t have to mean either of you reach a pinnacle climax or orgasm. If you change your definition of sex to being something like “We deserve to be sexually intimate with one another. Let’s do our best to pleasure each other.”
  6. Change what you think about intimacy and sexual encounters. Perhaps you can wear sexy lingerie and talk dirty whilst your partner admires you and masturbates themselves to orgasm. Relish in non-sexual contact such as hugs and massages. Watch pornography together and masturbate simultaneously. Read aloud from an erotic novel whilst touching each other.
  7. Never underestimate the greatness of the quickie! Quickie will make the experience short and the outcome can be generous for both of you.
  8. Most importantly, look after yourself. Listen to your body and stop if you’re not feeling it. Chronic pain does not make you a sexual failure. You’re a warrior for handling chronic pain. Remember that people without pain have their sexual bad days.
  9. There’s always tomorrow and lots of hugs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiiQMk2mQzw

By Alicia an consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

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Stephen is a cis-gendered gay male who spends far too much time with his two cats and eating tim tams. A self-identified sex-positive advocate he cares deeply about gender equality, disabilities, sexual education and social issues. Opinionated and bold he isn’t afraid to speak his mind and say what others won’t. With a yearning for knowledge and experience in all things relating to sex, he is a prolific writer that has developed the content for a myriad of informative Sexual Health and Wellness websites.

Stephen’s articles and writings tends to focus on social issues, sexual education, queer issues and all things fetish and absurd. He comes qualified with the completion of a double Bachelor degree in Social Sciences and literature, and a Masters in Education.

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