Pregnant From A Drop Of Precum!

Pregnancy testing

I love the moments when you can shock someone and prove him or her wrong when they are so hell bent on being correct themselves. That ha! moment when something has ACTUALLY happened to you that everyone else says can’t or won’t happen!

I fell pregnant from precum. Yes, that elusive substance that trickles out of the penis before the big moment that many women think “pfft… that won’t make me pregnant”. HELLO! It can and although there is not a high chance it can definitely happen!

Precum droplets
Image: Precum

So here are the facts about precum

As one of life’s questions is the battle between yes and no when it comes to the age old question “can you get pregnant from precum?”

Pre-ejaculate and ejaculate are both fluids that exit from a man’s penis, but they are not the same; they both have different functions and differ in their compositions.

The fluid that comes from the prostate and seminal vesicles contains sperm and is called ejaculate which is also known as cum. It is thicker in consistency, high in volume, and usually comes in the colour range of white, grey or yellow.

However, the thinner mucous creation that comes from multiple glands throughout the reproductive system is called precum or pre ejaculate and comes at the first signs of arousal. Its mission if it chooses to accept is to wash away all urine out of the urethra while also providing some added lubrication during sex, but does it contain sperm?

Precum diagram
Image: Precum meme

A study was taken where 27 men were asked to masturbate five times into a cup.

The study revealed that 11 out of the 27 men had sperm present in their pre ejaculate fluid, and the others had none. Basically although it is rare and technically pre ejaculate isn’t meant to contain sperm it can. Doctors think that either some sperm makes its way out during precum or that it picks up some as it moves down the pipeline. What they can be certain about is that there is a lot less sperm present in precum but it’s still not a gamble you should take if you are trying to avoid pregnancy.

So the answer to this question is YES!

Man genitals diagram
Image: Naked man diagram

Practicing safe sex

The riskiest factor is that men have no control over pre ejaculate, unlike its fluidly cousin ejaculate. Unlike an orgasm pre ejaculate can happen without any warning, which means before you have the chance to put on a condom it’s already happened.

If you are trying to avoid falling pregnant the best thing you can do is to wear a high-quality condom the entire time you are having sex, not just at the end when you’re about to cum. This means BEFORE any penis to vagina contact, because unlike another myth sperm does not die when it comes in contact with the air.

Did you know these fun facts about sperm?

Because sperm is so fun I mean check out the little guys, I felt the need to research a little more about these odd secretions.

  • Abnormal sperm is actually completely normal! Who thought that being different was actually the norm, but here in the world of sperm 90% is considered deformed. Two heads, two tails, pin-heads, huge heads, coiled tails etc
  • Often when you feel like you are drowning in cum and there is just way too much to swallow, or you feel like you have been covered head to toe! There is only actually about half a teaspoon, so for all those over dramatic princesses out there it’s not as bad as you think.
  • I have often wonder why men are so competitive but it seems this is a norm from before birth. Only one sperm can win but it seems competition is an understatement with 200 million competitors swimming their little DNA filled hearts out to penetrate your egg!
  • Unlike eggs in a female, sperm never stops! Women are born with all the eggs they will ever get in their lifetime, but sperm keeps going and going and going and going. Men produce sperm all day every day. Mind you as the years go on they start to enter into part-time production and become a bit lazy but yet they keep on producing until their last breath.
  • Unlike other parts of the body sperm are actually tiny, I mean like microscopic tiny! Usually about 50 micrometers from head to tail. Although they are tiny, they sure are mighty and if you laid all the sperm from one ejaculation in a line they would stretch to about 9.6 meters!
  • And finally my last fun fact is that sperm isn’t always the smartest tool in the shed. They definitely know how to whip their tails but when it comes to swimming they don’t always end up where they want. They have a hard time swimming in a straight line, half of them tend to swim in circles or bob around.

The moral of the story is that there are a lot of myths about sperm so read up, and enjoy the journey! You never know what’s true! Be sure to also check out a guide on contraception if you would like more information on practicing safe sex.

Morgan x

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Penis Envy In A Nutshell

Man with big penis

I have recently come to notice a pattern of mine that surfaces whenever male masturbators such as the Tenga Flip Zero with vibrations come into the Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres. A rush of excitement followed by envy overcomes me as I remember the fact that I will never know what it is like to use one of these adult toys. I love being a woman and I would not change it for the world yet I do imagine (probably, way too often) what it would be like to have a penis. I have spoken to countless women who agree that they are envious of men due to the fact that they have what seems to be such amazing genitalia.

From talking and working with countless men, I have discovered that in some circumstances being a man in this day and age with a penis is not all it’s cracked up to be. Here are some of the difficulties that many men encounter when it comes to their bodies, sexuality and gender identities:

Penis size

I have never met a man who hasn’t at least one time in his life felt insecurities around the size of his penis. Pornography, which happens to be many young men’s initiation into sex, portrays an unrealistic expectation of the size of an average man’s penis. This, along with the constant influence in the media saying that to have a small penis means you cannot properly please a woman means that many men feel that they are not good enough in the size department. Penises come in such unique shapes and sizes that to compare any penis to the ones you see in porn really is quite wrong.

Erection cupcakes
Image: Penis cupcakes

Performance anxiety

Many men are taught to please women. They must kiss, lick and f**k their woman right or there is something wrong with them. Being a great lover is so much more than performance and by getting caught up in the idea that they have all these things they need to do to make a woman happy in the bedroom means they can actually miss out on the experience. Connection, presence and respect just some of the qualities of great love making happens when a man is embodied. It doesn’t happen when he is in his mind, worrying about his performance and in his mind thinking about what he needs to do to give her multiple orgasms. Besides, thinking that you’re the only reason for your woman’s pleasure is disempowering to her and big headed of you… just saying!

Inability to disguise their turn on

As a woman, I take great pride in the fact that I can walk around turned on with no evidence except for a cheeky smile and glowing face. Men on the other hand have to deal with the fact that they have something reminiscent of a tent pole reaching out of their pants when they are very aroused. This, along with the fact that it can “strike out” at any given moment means they have something to worry about that us women could never comprehend. I’m not saying that there is anything to be ashamed of if this was to happen to you gentlemen, I just mean that having a penis with sometimes a mind of his own can be extremely vulnerable and exposing.

I know I’ve mentioned a few points that may seem like having a penis is a burden however plenty of men appear to get so much pleasure and enjoyment out of their genitals so it would seem that the benefits certainly out way the difficulties!! You should definitely have a read of amazing facts about the penis that’ll blow your mind to get to know your body more!

Huge erection
Image: Big erection

So how does a woman get to experience the totality of what it feels like to have a penis?

The answer is you could never experience it fully but there are some ways you can come to understand what it’s like to have your genitals so exposed…enter the strap on!!

Woman inserting a dildo in a man's anus
Image: Man being pegged

I have recommended women try on a strap on sex toy at least once in their lives to feel what it’s like to have a cock bobbing out between their legs. It is such a bizarre feeling to have it all hanging out compared to female genitals which are neatly tucked away. When you wear a strap on, you can gain an understanding of why many men are so driven by sex… they have a constant reminder of it all day every day!

It may sound silly but I really feel women can gain a great deal of insight into what it is like to be a man by the simple act of wearing a strap on. To take it one step further, perhaps the special someone in your life would be happy for you to try it out for real… I’m sure you’ll come to agree that men make hip thrusting seem so much easier than it actually is!!! And feeling the power to penetrate that comes with having a “penis” truly is not something to take lightly. I believe more compassion for men can come when we really get what it feels like to have a penis even if it is made from silicone.

Men love being pegged
Image: Pegging a man

Author: Stephanie Curtis, Sexologist

Four Foundational Life Keys For A Man Seeking Healthy, Enlightened Sex

Men exercising for sexual health

If you’re like many guys, you have experienced, at least to an extent, some sexual frustrations or hang ups that you’d like to get a handle on. And if you’re also like most guys, you have all of the above and aren’t even conscious of it.

Living the life of a sexually and spiritually healthy and fulfilled man is your birthright. However, it’s something that you have to cultivate.

To make sure that you’re not settling for sex that doesn’t serve the greater good for your life, you’ll need to apply four life changes that will help you out exponentially. Below we’ll dive into these four staples, so apply them and never look back!

Live Your Life Based On A Purpose And Mission

This might not seem like the sexiest topic on the surface, but it’s actually the glue that holds it all together.

Both spiritual experts and scientists assert that your sex life reveals who you are and is a microcosm of your internal life. In this sense, this part of your life requires you to get naked in both the literal, and figurative sense. It’s important to continuously work on yourself, because the hangups you have in your head will also manifest in the bedroom.

For instance, a person that is afraid to speak up and express their ideas may also feel stifled and shy during sex. Money problems, stress, shame and other blockages can also lead to hangups with sexual dysfunction.

So when you base your life on a higher purpose of living your dreams, becoming the strongest version of yourself and sharing that energy with the world, you’ll be sexually free and won’t have feelings of inadequacy and lack. David Deida, author of the bestseller “The Way of the Superior Man”, stresses a man living on his purpose, so that he can move past fear and into love, which he’ll then share with his sexual partner.

Spiritual journeys aside, science backs the importance of a healthy man to live his truth. Studies indicate that men who had heightened testosterone levels are less likely to lie, or if they do lie, get significantly less satisfaction or gratification out of it than men with lower testosterone levels. In a sense, not living your truth lowers your testosterone, which diminishes your virility and sexual energy.

When you’re on a mission to become the strongest you, it’s much easier to approach women with confidence and explore the depths of your sexuality in the bedroom, without fear and hangups getting in the way. Make sure that you know what you want out of life and that you carry yourself accordingly, and you’ve won half the battle of achieving a high quality sex life.

Get Your Ejaculation Under Control

This is another foundational key for taking control in your sex life. Studies show that some 30% of men deal with premature ejaculation. Dealing with this situation significantly reduces a man’s enjoyment with sex, since he either can’t last as long as he would like, or worries that he won’t.

There’s a certain level of punchline surrounding this issue throughout society, which can cause a man to feel shame, which is the emotional death knell for sexuality.

Because of this, it’s important that you solve ejaculation issues if you have them. There are many exercises you can practice, but also make sure to dive into the psychological and emotional contributing factors.

Ejaculation issues aside, consider practicing sacred sexuality by learning the ejaculation-free orgasm. By managing your ejaculation in this way, as practiced for ages in Eastern practices and religions, a man can achieve multiple orgams that are fuller and deeper.

This way, you can have sex for as long as you want, with a deeper and more meaningful connection.

Make Sure You’re Living With Peak Health And Physicality

If you really want to live your best sexual life, it’s important to pay close attention to your health and build. You need to maintain a certain level of muscle tone, so that your body continuously produces high levels of testosterone as you age.

There are many different trains of thought when it comes to health and nutrition, but a few basics can transform your life. Engage in any exercises that help you build muscle and strengthen your heart, four to five times per week. You’ll have more endurance, better erections and clearer functioning brain — all of which are key skills to have in your toolkit.

In terms of nutrition, make sure to eat lots of healthy fats, which contribute to the production of testosterone and heart health. Give yourself a cheat day, but make it a life goal to eat clean, so that your signal remains clear and so that you maintain your energy and passion.

Sexually and mentally happy man
Image: Happy and healthy man

Control Your Mind And Feelings

Finally, it’s important for you to continuously live in the moment and feel the depth of your emotions.

Skill and technique are great, but a man that can stay present with his lover, while feeling and giving emotion, will also be great in the sack. This sets a man that lives and embodies his sexual energy apart from a man that just pulls off a few cheap gimmicks that he doesn’t really believe in.

This is easier said than done, since our minds are built to wander, and society has kept men from their emotions for so long. When you quiet your mind and own your emotions, you’ll wield them both with power and discretion, rather than letting them run you.

You can master this by using meditation in your life. It teaches you to be still and feel the present moment, so that you can act with authenticity, rather than simply being triggered by past trauma and future anxiety.

It builds a healthy brain as well, which enhances your sexual creativity.

When you build your life around these four tips, it’s much easier to own your sexuality and live a peak life as a superior man.

Edging 101: What To Do and How To Get Started

Man kissing his girlfriend

“When you are pulling against the restraints… when your back is arched and your hips are writhing… when your mouth is open in a silent scream of tortured rapture… you will know that my work has begun”. – Pleasure Torture

Edging or orgasm control can be achieved through masturbation or help from a partner. We have partnered up with Bait’D Designs BDSM, Sex, and Jewelry Blog to teach you how to get started edging for your first time.

What is Edging?

During sex, BDSM, and kinks, achieving orgasms is not the only thing that can bring you or your partner pleasure. Edging is a popular method that involves controlling orgasms by bringing you or your partner to the brink of orgasm, and then right before it happens, you back away. Then you repeat this process over and over again, building up your sexual energy until you or your partner finally allow you to achieve an orgasm. The sexual energy building up to an orgasm can be similar to the sexual energy you build from celibacy. You can repeat the edging process multiple times to intensify you or your partner’s orgasm. For men, this exercise can increase the volume of ejaculation and force of ejaculation. This can be effective especially for men who suffer from premature ejaculation. Other popular terms that can describe the act of edging are peaking, surfing, or riding the edge.

Edging For Women

Edging for women is a difficult process to master. You want to focus on getting her to approach an orgasm, but don’t let it actually happen. Some people find it beneficial for the women to alert their partner when they are getting close to an orgasm so that their partner knows when to back off. When men typically hear that their women is about to ‘cum’, their usual instinct is to go harder, but in the case of edging, this requires some discipline from both participants. It is important to remember that as you are edging a woman, the smallest change can make a huge impact. Sometimes change will make a women lose the build up to an orgasm, or it may bring her over the edge. Losing an orgasm will send her into the refractory period, and then you will have to start over to build up that orgasm again. Staying consistent is key and the lighter touch, the better. In fact, 70% of women who like edging say lighter touches help to reduce the pressure when climax is near. Everyone is different so what works for one women may not work for another.

If you are going in solo you will also need to have some discipline as well. Our natural instinct is to keep going when something feels good, so you will need to be able to slow down and prevent yourself from orgasm, especially since you know your body best.

There are a variety of methods you can use to perform edging on a woman, but the easiest would be with the external clit (or clitoris). You can perform edging on your lady partner by rubbing, licking, and other movements. For a more advanced way to edge a women, you can try G-spot stimulation. The G-spot orgasm is harder to control because you are dealing with the sensitivity of the vagina walls, as well as vulva stimulation. It is recommended that you start out with a vibrator or dildo instead to stay more consistent in this area if you are just starting to learn how to edge.

Dom overpowering woman
Image: Dom

Edging For Men

Benefits for edging men include increased testosterone levels, lasting longer during sex, and self-discipline. Edging for men also helps to minimize or overcome premature ejaculation when done properly and consistently. During the edging process you are training the brain to be comfortable achieving a high level of sexual pleasure without ejaculating. Much like edging for a women, edging a man also follows the same principles. The giver and receiver must be disciplined and not get over excited during this process.

Edging for a man can occur with a hand job, blow job, vibrating cock ring, or whatever tickles your fancy. Let your imagination explore the possibilities. It is recommended that edging is done without the use of porn for a more controlled environment.

For men, there is also a popular ballooning technique that is similar to the edging, but a lot of men who have done it feel it is better than edging. Ballooning begins by masturbating and gently rubbing the sensitive part of the penis until full erection is achieved. Continue to stimulate and then just before ejaculation, you slow down the stimulation. At this time, you should incorporate medium Kegels exercises as you inhale, and then release the Kegels as you exhale. You should increase the intensity of the Kegels upon every inhale, and repeat this process just like you are doing reps in the gym. During intercourse, this technique can also provide a stimulating effect for the women.

Edging As A Dominant

Edging is often used as a way for a dominant to take control of their submissive by using erotic denial as control. Some masters allow their slave to masturbate without orgasm. Masters will usually give their slaves tasks and will tell a slave how many times during the day they should take themselves to the edge of orgasm and stop. The slave learns that their orgasms are owned by their master and practices control and discipline. The master can also incorporate punishments when they orgasm. Beyond edging, orgasm control for a dominant or master can also mean not allowing your slave/submissive to stop cumming until they beg you to stop.

It’s always beneficial to spice up your sexual routine. Now you know the basics, so get out there and experience edging for yourself! Whether you are going in solo, edging your partner, or receiving, the benefits from edging will help enhance you and your partner’s sex life for the better.

6 Tricks For When Your Man Cannot Get Hard

Erectile dysfunction

As a sexologist, I get an in-depth insight into one of the most intimate areas of people’s lives. It really is an honour to have people open up to me about their sexuality, this being something I do not take lightly. I understand sex to still be such a taboo in many people’s lives hence understand how vulnerable it can be to share one’s experiences.

Recently, I had a conversation with a man who had entered a new relationship and was unable to “get it up.” Seeing this person so filled with stress and anxiety about his perceived inability to perform got me thinking about the role us women play when the men in our lives are overcome with anxiety and pressure to perform.

Much of the stress and anxiety that men feel when they cannot get an erection comes from outdated beliefs that to be a man means to do everything he can to please and pleasure a woman with an erect penis. It saddens me knowing that so many men do not come to understand this as a false belief which does more harm than good. Women play such an important part in this process for men with the following some of the tools and approaches I recommend to support men through what can be a challenging time in their lives:

Allow him to express his emotions

When a man places an expectation on himself to get an erection and doesn’t, he can often be overwhelmed with a great deal of shame, frustration, anger and embarrassment. Allow him the space to express his emotions in a safe container so that rather than stewing in these toxic feelings he is given an outlet to get them out of his system. This could mean bashing a pillow, shaking, yelling (though not at you) or whatever else he does when he is feeling emotionally overwhelmed (e.g. going for a run or swim). Emotions can cause a host of problems if left unexpressed so encouraging him to express can mean the difference between staying stagnant and moving forward.

Man unhappy about erectile dysfunction
Image: Man expressing emotions

Encourage him to communicate

Men are rarely encouraged to speak about their feelings and the things that are troubling them. Let your man know that it is safe to talk about what is going on for him. Be present with him when he shares with you his thoughts and feelings on what is going on for him. It is crucial he knows that he can trust you with something so vulnerable for him.

Offer him a space to receive without any expectations of what is to happen

Offering your man a chance to receive can be a really beautiful way of him experiencing pleasure that isn’t dependant on him having an erection. A penis massage or oral sex can feel exquisite even with a non-erect penis and can be a chance for him to really drop into his body, away from his mind that is incessantly pressuring him to perform. Let him know before that an erection or orgasm is not the key of the experience and that you simply want him to receive with nowhere to get to and nothing to do but enjoy the experience.

Connect with him in an intimate way

Taking time to be intimate and sensual with your man is still really important regardless of whether he has an erection. This could mean giving and receiving a massage, cuddling, kissing or engaging in oral sex. Just because a man doesn’t have an erection, doesn’t mean he still doesn’t find you attractive or want to be sexual with you. This brings me to my next point…

Refrain from personalising the “problem”

Asking “Don’t you find me attractive anymore?” is valid however it can place enormous pressure on your man to console you when he is already in a vulnerable position. Some women can get quite upset when their man does not get an erection when engaging intimately with them and its perfectly fine to feel this way but just remember that how sexy, attractive or desirable you are should never be dependent on another person. Take care of yourself and when you feel like you are not asking from a triggered place, it can be great to ask if there is anything you can do for your man. Just ensure that if you do, do so from a place of genuine care and not for validation of your worth.

Invest in your own pleasure

As great as sex with your man can be, if he has difficulties getting an erection it can be a great opportunity to really dive into your own pleasure solo. Here are some ways to invest in your own pleasure:

These are the little things that can make all the difference between feeling victimised by your partner’s inability to get an erection and being empowered by taking your pleasure into your own hands.

Being supportive, loving and compassionate with your man if and when he faces challenges with getting an erection is such a beautiful way to approach what can be an incredibly challenging time for him.

Author: Stephanie Curtis, Sexologist