9 Ways To Manage Chronic Pain

Pain hurts, no matter which way you look at it, pain is uncomfortable and distressing. Even the most stoic people among us, when faced with chronic pain, will find themselves faltering. Given that so much of sexual arousal is directly related to the psychology of a person, it’s no wonder that pain can hamper sex and intimacy. Pain makes you tired, it makes it hard to concentrate, it makes it hard to tease apart the fact you are aroused away from the actual sensation of pain. In spite of feeling mentally aroused, pain can make it difficult to ascertain that a sexual response has started physically.

Pain can also rapidly shut down a sexual response and completely ruin any pleasure one was feeling. Pain can make you hurt so much you can’t continue and leave you feeling like a sexual failure. As well, if all that wasn’t enough, pharmacological treatments for pain can reduce libido, impede the physical sexual response by reducing erections and can hinder women from producing natural lubrication. All of these symptoms added together can make you anorgasmic, whereby despite sexual stimulation you are unable to reach climax and orgasm. It feels… nice, but you never really start to climb the crescendo towards the pinnacle of orgasm because you can not maintain the orgasmic feeling.

As a warrior of chronic pain for 12 years, I’ve personally felt the impact pain has had on my sex life. I’ve felt the sexual failures as I’ve struggled to navigate pain, intimacy and sex. I’ve learned that what one feels is always valid. With plenty of patience, compassion and communication it is vital to you and your partner enjoying yourselves with a mind-blowing sexual encounter.

Chronic Pain Ramp

From my personal experience, here are some things I’ve learnt so far:

  1. If medications help to ease pain levels, ensure you’ve taken these medications with enough time for them to be active prior to sexual encounters to give you the best chance at enjoying yourself. If medications are impeding your arousal and ability to orgasm, speak with your doctor/pain team about alternatives.
  2. Experiment with different positions and use as many objects as needed to ensure you are comfortable at all times. Pillows, cushions, rolled up blankets and towels etc can be used to support whichever positions you find yourselves in. Use lounges, chairs, tables and bench tops to positions yourselves. There is a wonderful range of products designed to help with positioning. The companies Liberator and Sportsheets offer products to help with positioning during sex.
  3. Discover products at Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres that can enhance arousal and shorten time to orgasm. There are products like sexual arousal gels, vibrating adult toys and lubricants.
  4. This point cannot be emphasized enough – Communicate!  To have the best sexual experience it is important to be always open an honest. It’s OK to start a sexual encounter and find yourself not enjoying it and wanting to stop. Let your partner know your sexual needs so that both of you can be flexible and open to your approaches. If you become disinterested with sex, switch from sexual activity to intimacy. Try being close to one another naked, enjoying skin on skin contact. You can also enjoy a massage together as the feeling of closeness and relaxation may make it easier to continue on to have sex.
  5. Create a new definition of what sex means to you and your partner. Sex doesn’t have to mean either of you reach a pinnacle climax or orgasm. If you change your definition of sex to being something like “We deserve to be sexually intimate with one another. Let’s do our best to pleasure each other.”
  6. Change what you think about intimacy and sexual encounters. Perhaps you can wear sexy lingerie and talk dirty whilst your partner admires you and masturbates themselves to orgasm. Relish in non-sexual contact such as hugs and massages. Watch pornography together and masturbate simultaneously. Read aloud from an erotic novel whilst touching each other.
  7. Never underestimate the greatness of the quickie! Quickie will make the experience short and the outcome can be generous for both of you.
  8. Most importantly, look after yourself. Listen to your body and stop if you’re not feeling it. Chronic pain does not make you a sexual failure. You’re a warrior for handling chronic pain. Remember that people without pain have their sexual bad days.
  9. There’s always tomorrow and lots of hugs.

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By Alicia an consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

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Stephen is a cis-gendered gay male who spends far too much time with his two cats and eating tim tams. A self-identified sex-positive advocate he cares deeply about gender equality, disabilities, sexual education and social issues. Opinionated and bold he isn’t afraid to speak his mind and say what others won’t. With a yearning for knowledge and experience in all things relating to sex, he is a prolific writer that has developed the content for a myriad of informative Sexual Health and Wellness websites.

Stephen’s articles and writings tends to focus on social issues, sexual education, queer issues and all things fetish and absurd. He comes qualified with the completion of a double Bachelor degree in Social Sciences and literature, and a Masters in Education.

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Rick is the owner of the Adultsmart, an online sex toy shop that stocks over 13,000 products. He has been involved in the adult lifestyle industry for more than 25 years. Rick is an active sex blogger who provides a wealth of information and experience. He is an advocate of equality for gender and sexuality.

Do Male Periods Exist?

IMS Irritable Male Syndrom

Don’t you want to do anything? Would you lie down all day if you were given a chance? Is all you want have a bar of chocolate or junk food? Do you feel tired and/or nervous? Did you get bored since you think that I ask a lot? Yes to all questions above?

There is a single explanation for you guys, you are on your own Male Period! Do Male Periods Exist? Yes, you did not read it wrong, male period otherwise known as Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS) which is almost the same with menstruation psychologically, but different from that physiologically. Obviously, we don’t bleed or don’t have menstrual pains which are great advantages and I really appreciate women’s resilience when I think about them bleeding for at least 3 days in a month with all those pain, still we are human beings with hormones as well as women are. I experienced these changes or fluctuations in my body/psychology in the last week and I wanted to write this article at that time, however, frankly saying, I was so nervous that it was impossible for me to even think about this sexual health topic. I experienced such things before, they were soft ones though and I was good at finding reasons for my state of mind in the past but this time there was no “reasonable” reason to feel in that way.
Do Men Have Periods
Photo: Male Period
I gathered some information after a little bit of research for Do Male Periods Exist. Actually, there is not much research specifically conducted on this topic. There are few made in 70s, and nowadays the most popular one is a book “The Irritable Male Syndrome” by Jed Diamond which is “based on his 35 years of clinical research and responses from nearly 10000 males” says on his website. On the other hand, this, whether males have periods or not, is still a debatable topic for scientist/doctors and I don’t want to discuss that part of the topic. However, there are some points that I want to highlight. Let’s have a look at what we know. As everybody knows, both women and men have both estrogen and testosterone. Each gender has certain amount of those hormones; estrogen is higher in women, testosterone is higher in men. Just like women experience monthly the rush of estrogen, it is believed that men experience testosterone in a deficiency so this gives men more emotional times. This is not the only fluctuation in our hormone levels that we have. Apart from monthly changes, men experience changes in their hormone levels 2-3 times in an hour as testosterone rushes in every 15 minutes. That’s why we are always horny, so blame it on the hormone.
Secondly, testosterone level is in the highest level in the morning and then gradually decreases. That’s why we have morning erections and want to have sex crazily in the morning than any time of the day. So, here is a little tip for you ladies: talk to him in the evening if you need to convince him for anything you want to have as he has lower testosterone in his blood than usual. Thirdly and lastly, we have yearly cycles as well. Testosterone level is higher in Fall and lower in Spring, that make sense now about why men have summer love. I also want to share the results of a survey conducted by VoucherCloud with you. VoucherCloud asked the respondents of around 2400 (50 % male, 50 % female) if they suffer the same side effects of menstrual cycle of women including tiredness, cramp and increased sensitivity. The results shows that 26 % of men experience these feelings on a regular basis and 58 % of their female partners believe them and also men mentioned general PMS-related symptoms such as constant hunger to general irritability. Additionally, 43 % of female respondents say that they offer support to their partners in this period of time, while 33 % tells their partner to “man up”.
Here is the problem! We don’t have to “man up”. We are hormonal human beings just like women and we have right to have our own special time and to express our feelings freely in a way we’d like to do it because it is natural. However, it is really hard for us to feel free in this environment. Women can talk about their cycles among themselves but a man cannot say anything about what he feels. In those cases, you are more likely to be labelled as “Faggot!” Nobody will think that you may need a little warm smile or a candy bar.
Please understand that the more we find out that we are similar, the better we would be. Break taboos, express yourself freely, embrace each other.

Author:  Goki is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

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Stephen is a cis-gendered gay male who spends far too much time with his two cats and eating tim tams. A self-identified sex-positive advocate he cares deeply about gender equality, disabilities, sexual education and social issues. Opinionated and bold he isn’t afraid to speak his mind and say what others won’t. With a yearning for knowledge and experience in all things relating to sex, he is a prolific writer that has developed the content for a myriad of informative Sexual Health and Wellness websites.

Stephen’s articles and writings tends to focus on social issues, sexual education, queer issues and all things fetish and absurd. He comes qualified with the completion of a double Bachelor degree in Social Sciences and literature, and a Masters in Education.

Manscaping

Man Shaving Abbs

It can be nerving and a bit scary wielding a sharp razor near your private area, even more when you’re a guy, so if you’re feeling nervous or hesitant about shaving down their then definitely keep reading for some Manscaping information. But why should you remove your manly bush? Maybe  it’s the anxiety and social norm to keep your area smooth and more aesthetically pleasing , maybe it’s what your partner wants or it could the fact that when your pubic hair is gone it makes your erection incredibly larger. You see, When your pubic hair covers up part of the shaft, visually it can seem much shorter but when the hair is gone, the hidden section of the shaft will be revealed and can make your penis look a half inch longer. But, of course you wouldn’t care about that, would you? If you’re still not convinced there are plenty of other benefits that you might not have known about or have heard of before.

A popular reason and important benefit for Manscaping is to the fight on genital hair is simply hygiene purposes. Something not to be forgotten about when it comes to anything genitals really is hygiene. With everything shaved it will be less prone to carrying sweat (so say goodbye to the funky funk in your trunk), it’s easier to keep clean and will stay cleaner for longer which will make your whole area more inviting too. When you’re wearing underwear with a bushy basement then there isn’t much room or oxygen to circulate down there which ultimately means that whatever odours that you do have down there become more pungent and noticeable. Shaving the hair off creates more airflow and a much nicer smelling pubic area.

Manscaping will make your shaft and scrotum look cleaner, but it will be healthier too. Without the obstruction of hair you can take advantage of your newly smooth area to examine your testicles regularly. It’s also peace in mind for your sexual partner/partners; they can be rest assured that they are protected from skin eruptions or unusual bugs. It even gives good evidence that you have nothing to hide down there. It’s not a surprise that even shaving can be considered sexy. Get your partner to help you shave, apply heaps of gel and tease the area with long strokes from the razor. You can even get lathered up with soap in the shower and shave under the warm stream of water for a bit more eroticism.

Manzillian
Photo: Manscaping

A shaved pubic region is much less prone to cuts during sex. Sometimes, when sex involves a hairy penis, the hair gets in the way and causes cuts in the genitals or even condoms. These cuts could be open doorways to infections. Eating a few hairs when you are giving oral isn’t really ideal so it’s important to keep downstairs ready for oral pleasure by keeping it hair free. The average woman will be more willing to tongue-please a shaved ‘johnson’ than a bushy one. So if you want to get really intimate, stay well-groomed down there.

Manscaping is simply more appealing. The benefits of having a shaved pubic area will be apparent straight away. A smooth scrotum begs to be touched. An unusual one and slightly related to another benefit is when shaved your preventing unwanted friction and chaffing in you junk. Because hair stores sweet and gunk it’s possible that it can get really hot and build up friction and possible forming of blisters or burns. Will all these benefits you would think anyone with hair is crazy not to remove it but it’s important to recognize that shaving downstairs has its downsides as well. Some women view men with pubic hair as manly and masculine, so the removal of it could feminise you or make you look like a child down there, which is very unappealing to a lot of people. Also keeping its shaved requires dedication and commitment. You have to keep it up if you want the look and to a lot of people that’s just too much time out of game of thrones to be worth it.

Something that everyone can relate to is when you freshly shave somewhere you essentially unleashing 1000 mosquito bites onto that area. The itching can be unbearable for beginners and people with sensitive skin. Sometimes when you cut it all the way it grows back faster, fuller and thicker. Most importantly is that you have to be careful not to castrate yourself, the balls are a sensitive spot and they do not need a razor poking and cutting down there. Manscaping can also cause razor bumps, allergic reactions, rashes and other uncomfortable side effects. Remember safety is important. So at the end of the day you have to make the choice if you want to be bare down there or have hair to spare. I honestly think having it all trimmed is the safest, most hygienic and simply the easiest to upkeep especially if you have one of those electric razors (less risk of cutting your balls off).

Author: Bronson is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

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Stephen is a cis-gendered gay male who spends far too much time with his two cats and eating tim tams. A self-identified sex-positive advocate he cares deeply about gender equality, disabilities, sexual education and social issues. Opinionated and bold he isn’t afraid to speak his mind and say what others won’t. With a yearning for knowledge and experience in all things relating to sex, he is a prolific writer that has developed the content for a myriad of informative Sexual Health and Wellness websites.

Stephen’s articles and writings tends to focus on social issues, sexual education, queer issues and all things fetish and absurd. He comes qualified with the completion of a double Bachelor degree in Social Sciences and literature, and a Masters in Education.