Guidelines To BDSM Dating Online!

BDSM Dates Online

If you are interested in online BDSMsites dating then there are number of things you should focus beginning with posting your profile online on BDSM dating sites to the ways to deal with BDSM partner. After posting an appropriate profile on certain online BDSM dating sites like BDSMdatingonly you should also follow certain guidelines while dating with like minded people. Certain do’s and don’ts to be followed at this time may include:

Guidelines for creating your profile for BDSM dating sites

While posting your profile for online BDSM dating you will have to take care of certain things like:

Check grammar and spelling: When you are interested in BDSM relationship then it is very natural for you to write an attractive profile. But your responsibility does not end with writing a profile. If it has a number of spelling and grammar mistakes then there is no use of posting it on the BDSM dating sites as many viewers will think you are not taking it seriously. Before posting your profile on the BDSM dating site you should check its grammar and spelling so that it will not look awkward or perhaps make it unclear what you are after before you meet someone for this purpose. Posting a mistake ridden profile will show your careless attitude which will not be appreciated by others. If you are careless with your spelling and grammar people may think you are a scammer or dishonest in what you are providing or require. .

Describe yourself honestly: While describing your whereabouts in the profile you should be specific so that people can know how far they must travel. Sending a message of your suburb will allow any viewers to choose people in a certain radius from their home or workplace.  Avoid lying or over-stretching the truth on your profile as if you build yourself up to be a Barbie or Adonis, it will meet with disappointment when you actually hook-up.  Everyone has certain flaws which can make them more attractive as there is no such thing as a perfect person.   If you build your profile up too much then it may present as being strange and unrealistic to the readers.

Acknowledge Your Boundaries: While writing your profile to online BDSM dating site you should be honest about what you are into and more importantly what you are not so that you can easily find a good match. You should also be honest about describing what it is you are after in the person you are looking for  in this relationship. For instance, if you are looking for a serious BDSM relationship then you should not say that you are looking for Vanilla Sex.

Do not focus on your negative points: Usually people do not like to read negative things at least with whom they are planning to grow a kind of relationship through online BDSM dating.  Everyone understand that people have flaws physically and in character but being too honest will have people running for the hills.  For example if you have a minor mental disability it will not get too much interest to post an ad like ‘male suffering for Post Traumatic Syndrome looking for ….’  These personal flaws can be disclosed after you start dating.

Do not mention a list of your dislikes:  Everyone dislikes certain things. You can also mention the things and habits you dislike like cheating, lying and smoking etc. on your profile. But if it includes a full list of your dislikes then you profile will show you more like an unhappy and pessimistic person with whom no one will like to develop any kind of relationship including BDSM relationship.

Give your marital status only when asked: Some of the BDSM dating sites may ask you about your marriage status but you should not mention anything about your marital status and friendships as well as children unless you are asked.

Choose your BDSM profile photo carefully: You should choose a latest photo for your BDSM dating profile, even if it is photo-shopped to some extent, instead of a dated old photo or even worse a fake photograph. Your old photo (or fake one) will not provide right information about you and if you manage to find a prospect – how do you explain the difference when you meet?

Do not be personal: While sending message for BDSM dating you should respect the likes and dislikes of the other. You should not send sexual messages unless you are invited to do so otherwise, you should restrain yourself to the BDSM guidelines until you work out what will be allowed and what will not between each other.

Send a good opening message: While sending a message for online BDSM dating you should first of all try to engage your partner then gradually become more personal with them.  When sending your first message, rather than talk about yourself you should list the points that you liked in their profile. It will give a positive effect.

Do not focus only on BDSM: while making a profile for some BDSM online dating sites to attract like minded people you should not fill your content with only things related to BDSM relationship. People may avoid your profile if they cannot connect to you because they do not get a reading on your overall attitudes.

Make a thorough profile: While making your profile you should focus on providing enough information so that they can get a general idea of what makes you tick. Along with your likes and dislikes it should also include information about your attitude towards society. It should compel others to think about dating with you because of an interest to get to know you further.

Post different types of profiles: Instead of writing and posting only one profile on online BDSM dating website you should create few different types of profiles.  Provide enough information about you in each of them so that readers can know more about you – if it allows link these profiles together so that people can get a complete picture of who you are. It will provide the viewers a rounded and more attractive image about you.

Meeting BDSM Players
Getting BDSM Dates

By following these online BDSM dating guidelines one can easily develop a good and reliable relationship. Your profile for BDSM dating sites should be created carefully so that it can attract others by telling about your in a clear and precise manner.  Everyone is unique and different but you can make an attractive profile by following the do’s and don’ts provided above. Your profile also sends your message that you are open to be with like minded people.

Rick is the owner of the Adultsmart, an online sex toy shop that stocks over 13,000 products. He has been involved in the adult lifestyle industry for more than 25 years. Rick is an active sex blogger who provides a wealth of information and experience. He is an advocate of equality for gender and sexuality.

What Is True Love?

Unconditional Love
We all seek it and then when we first find it,  it is probably the greatest feeling, along with having babies, that we will ever feel before we leave this precious small planet that we get such a short privileged time to spend on.
I had an epiphany last night in bed with my partner. I was in a huge mood with him! We have been going through a patchy spot and I  hated him with every fragment of my being because he had been angry with me. I may in hindsight have behaved like an idiot, and perhaps was slightly,  but only very slightly, to blame!
What it did start to make me think about though, was, if we are falling out of love all the time, why the hell don’t we both just wave farewell and just go our separate ways?
Then I thought to my self,  well…for one thing, ..I have been with him for nearly 20 years. Perhaps that is it? Am I just frightened of change? I am almost 50 for goodness sake! Will no one else ever want me? Then there is the fact we have three children together, one of them hasn’t even had a first birthday yet!

Perhaps that is why I don’t leave him?

However,  While I was lying trying to sleep next to him, as he was snoring so bloody loudly I wanted to punch him in the face and retreat to the couch I just thought to myself  Just maybe the things I can’t bare about him are the very things I would probably miss the most.
working at love
Soul Mates
I thought about my children too and what I would miss about them, I know it is a bit depressing to think about losing a child, or taking for granted that  they are healthy and happy, but just to make the point, the things I might miss the most about them are the very things I hate. What about them lying horizontally between us and completely taking over our bed every night, the mess they make all the incessant fighting, pissing on the toilet seat and stealing any decent food from the fridge. ?
I am lucky enough to work in a sex shop with an endless supply of things that can enhance my sex life .and I love to please my man when he is in a good mood. I also have a mean streak of withholding sex when he hasn’t done the dishes.

Men in my experience remain, eternal teenagers, they appreciate a partner who brings home a new toy or a new lube or a new porn movie, perhaps dresses up in some sexy lingerie now and again. In my view, true love is giving something sometimes that you might not even be in the mood for. You may probably even end up loving it.   BUT, here is the thing, there are benefits to being lovely and thoughtful to men when you might not feel like it, You can ask them to do a bit more housework…..and I promise they won’t say no!  So rather than get your phone out and record his snoring to play it back to him the next day or purposely leave him more mess to clean up than you usually would so he knows how it feels, maybe just give him a cuddle and think about all the things you love about him.

 If you have the same unconditional love for a partner that you would your child, then that I think is my idea of true true love. It isn’t the heady,  early,  honeymoon feeling you get in your teenage years or when you have an affair and suddenly feel alive again..  It is waking up with your partner of 20 years in the middle of the night, cuddling up against his middle-aged paunch and just telling him that you love him out of the blue. When he quietly says thank you,  carries on snoring, and probably didn’t even hear a word of what you said, just cuddles you back, that is precious.  Being able to get up in the morning with a stomach that hangs around your knees and boobs you can mop the floor with and he still wants a bit of a grope and a feel.,.Be grateful, That is love!
Every one is a winner if you just communicate and appreciate and explore the things that you both want..  It can be so hard to appreciate partners when you have to deal with kids and work and housework…but it is possible!
Written by a consultant at the Oh Zone stores!

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

Do Granny’s Still Have Sex?

Sex With A Granny

Granny’s still have sex!

The answer to the question on your lips cannot be easier said, as several reports and studies have showed that seniors of as old as 80 still have sex. While some studies tend to peg the sex life of an average person at 70, life experiences have showed that people tend to want and have sex till they have their last breath.

According to a study reported in the Medical Journal, people of sound health reported interest in sex regardless of their age group. However, only 39 percent of men and 17 percent of women have regular partner sex after the age of 75, with several factors attributed to this statistics. Some of the factors include the drugs used to treat them because of medical conditions and the loss of their partner.

It is worth noting that this finding might not be particularly accurate as many elder do not even have partners and among those that have, 46 percent of the men and 41 percent of the women confessed to be sexually active. Therefore, it can be concluded that the average person’s sex does not actually end at 70 as reported by several quarters.

This is in addition to the fact that the study only looked at partner sex. The proportion of sexually active elderly could considerably increase if seniors that have solo sex are considered, particularly as studies have suggested that masturbation is common in older adults.

Aging is not one of the factors that have been identified to end sex, as it only changes it, eliminating penis-vagina intercourse gradually. Thankfully, there are several marvelous ways of enjoying sex without intercourse.

So how does aging change sex? Science has revealed that women above 40 start to experience menopausal changes, which include declining vaginal lubrication, consequently leading to uncomfortable sexual intercourse. A frequent decrease in libido and sexual self-esteem has also been identified as one of the attributes of menopausal changes.

On the other hand, men above 40 starting noticing that it takes more time to get sexually aroused, with erections becoming balky – slower to rise, less firm, and increasingly prone to wilting. All in all, both genders are more likely to have medical conditions that require taking medications that have sex-impairing side effects.

After the age of 50, particularly after 60, these changes tend to intensify, with vaginal atrophy occurring in women, which usually adds to the discomfort they experience during penetrative play, even when they use a lubricant. Men of a similar age group tend to experienced increased erection problems. Finally, the use of medication becomes more prevalent, with sexual side effects aggravated due to the interactions among multiple medications.

Age affects sex and understandably so. However, this does not necessarily mean that aging ends sex. With the subject of granny dating becoming increasingly popular and the emergence of different online platforms, particularly dating sites, it is becoming easier for grannys to have fun and get down even at old age.

GrannyILF
Sexy Granny

So the question lies how do these old folk meet, do they go to the local pub, bingo halls or supermarkets to meet their potential mate?  Well as with all people now in this modern society apps have started being used on the internet and phone to find people to share their lives with, and according the stats lots of our granddads and grandmas have turned to the internet to find someone.

Whilst most people would opt for a normal dating site, some randy old buggers are shown to be in search just for sex and according to a new casual sex website which is dedicated to finding a sex partner for grannys  “Granny Sex Finderthere are over 15,000 woman registered on their books over the age of 50 In the UK alone these stats are pretty similar in Australia and New Zealand too.  And over 50,000 men over 50 too !! These Stats are obviously dwarfed by the people under 50  which is 106,000 Women  and over 1million men. And that’s just on one small network of people, imagine what the stats are from the big boys like Match and POF.

So there it is, your questions have been answered, Grannys love sex and whilst some of us don’t like to think about mum and dad bonking away anymore and your single mum joining the casual sex dating sites around the UK in search for a lovely Friday night bonk.

Well at least they don’t go Dogging !!! – (or do they J )

Rick is the owner of the Adultsmart, an online sex toy shop that stocks over 13,000 products. He has been involved in the adult lifestyle industry for more than 25 years. Rick is an active sex blogger who provides a wealth of information and experience. He is an advocate of equality for gender and sexuality.

Freedom In Relationships!

Loving Relationships

Would you believe me if I told you that you can be in a relationship and have your absolute freedom?

I know that it may sound too good to be true for many of you. I have to admit that even I am coming to terms with the fact that the two can coexist.

What exactly do I mean when I speak of freedom? I’m not talking about that kind of free love, do whatever you want, fuck whoever you want kind of attitude that sees destructive behaviors normalized and people hurt. When I say freedom, I mean living life on your own terms and working towards those things that are really important to you whilst being loving and respectful towards your partner.

I completely empathise with those who cannot fathom the possibility of freedom in relationship. I feel at times somewhat of a conflict between living as a sovereign being who is whole and complete on her own and being in a loving relationship. Figuring out how the two can coexist can be a struggle. It seems that I become stuck in old patterns of thought at times as I attempt to make way for a new reality where absolute freedom goes hand in hand with the connection with my partner. “Do I really deserve to have both?” I often ask myself.

What I have come to know throughout my life up until recently is that freedom & relationship do not go together. Being in an intimate relationship in the past has meant sacrifice and giving up on those things I deeply desire. My only reference of what relationship meant growing up and in my previous relationship was one where constant compromise was seemingly necessary in order to “sustain” the relationship. There exists an idea of compromise and sacrifice when it comes to our intimate relationships, that to be in a loving relationship means we must relinquish certain things in our life for the other person.

I really want to clarify the ideas of “compromise” and “making sacrifices” in relationship as I believe them to be destructive when taken the wrong way. I don’t believe that we can go around in our life & in any of our relationships doing whatever the hell we want with little regard for others. Showing compassion and respect to others is vital if we’re to develop and sustain any relationships. With that in mind I don’t feel that we need to compromise on the big things that really matter to us. Our values and morals must be followed if we are to live in integrity. Our own unique path in life should not be neglected or compromised because we choose to spend it with another person.

Freeing Relationships
Free Relationships

Being in a relationship with a man over the last year who encourages me to live my life as I desire has caused me to re-evaluate my idea of freedom in a relationship. I am lovingly supported to follow my own path which can often conflict with my old belief that singledom is the only time when I can live my absolute truth.

My recent celibacy journey has deeply changed the person I have come to know as me. This means that right now I am attempting to get to know who I am and what I want from my life. Self-inquiry like this is challenging at times but I know it to be crucial for growth and expansion in all areas of my life. My previous patterns of thought would have me believe that I need to be single at this time to figure all of this out for myself, when in fact I am actually called to do this whilst being in relationship with another.

If I thought deep inner work was hard when I was single, being in a relationship trying to figure out “who the hell I am” is next level!! Having my freedom has meant taking a whole heap of space for myself and not being as available to my partner emotionally or physically.

 

Freedom can look so different for every individual. Freedom can mean having a non-monogamous relationship, being celibate, choosing to spend a week away on your own or simply choosing to do your own thing in life while your partner does theirs’s.

Freedom in relationship is only possible if you’re are willing and able to communicate your needs and desires clearly. I highly recommend having the conversations that may feel uncomfortable as opposed to supressing what you need until you reach breaking point.

Where in your relationship are you sacrificing your freedom for another? How can you open yourself up to the reality that freedom and a beautiful relationship coexist? How can you come to believe that you never have to compromise on the big things in life in order to be with another person?

Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph’s writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.

The Unforgivable!

Unforgivable Actions

It’s that talk most couples have early on in the relationship,

“what are your deal breakers”

those few traits or issues that arise that under no circumstances will the person be forgiven for what they have done. Although mistakes are human we all do stupid things and some of those we regret, there are always those key instances that make or break a relationship. Each of us has our own level of patience, we each have a threshold of forgiveness and we each have the ability to understand and sympathize, but when does a mistake or accident become unforgivable?

Sometimes a momentary relapse in judgement can be fixed but other times it makes the relationship shaky and it isn’t so easy to repair. Trust is a huge part of a relationship, it’s the difference between forgiving someone and being able to move on or rendering the relationship dead, and its defiantly not easy to get that trust back once it has been rocked.

How do you move forward? How do you know if you should let go or forgive?

And how do you know it’s time to walk away and never look back?

A big factor is how you found out, as much as you feel disrespected, hurt, angry and broken hearted not to mention how painful it is to hear the best way is from them. Although they have done something horrible and hurtful they are remorseful and didn’t want you to find out any other way. It does show some respect on their behalf as they decided to tell you instead of keeping it a secret or waiting for you to find out. This also means they are aware of what they have done to hurt you and they are sorry for what they have done, telling you can make the situation easier rather than finding out any other way which can exaggerate the issue.

When someone else tells you something that you significant other has done it often has a range of feeling other than just hurt, you feel embarrassed and wonder who else knows and why were you the last to know? You may feel like there is a lot more people lying to you, not just your significant other and this is painful. Your issues become public and more opinions are thrown around about the future of your relationship.

Finding out yourself highlights the fact that there is a serious trust issue in the relationship, unless its something you find out accidentally (not from snooping). When you are searching for something or searching for evidence that something is happened things play out 100 times worse in your head, and you almost always exaggerate the issue, because at the back of your mind if you’re searching it already means the trust is gone in your relationship.

The way they react when they do tell you or you in fact confront them also says a lot about knowing if you can forgive them or not. It will tell you if they regret what they did, if it was a mistake, if it was calculated, or if they regret you finding out and not the act itself.

If they become defensive this could be a sign that they refuse to believe that what they did was actually wrong, they may even try to justify the reason why they did it or turn it around and blame you for their mistake. They often make up many reasons why they did it, which turns into a web of lies that they can’t keep memory of. This is usually the moment that trying to reason with them becomes heated and hurtful, you have tried to rationally explain why you are hurt and the parts that have hurt you the most and they are not listening or apologising. You need to keep it clear, if they are not respecting your feelings and are at least slightly remorseful you need to leave, you don’t deserve this type of damage to yourself.

If your significant other is apologetic and is trying to understand why they hurt you this mostly like it means they are genuine and what they did really was a mistake. You have the opportunity to dig deeper to maybe why this happened and how you both feel, even though you are deeply hurt knowing they are remorseful does make things easier and does show they care for you.

To many there are deal breakers, but then there are also behaviors that under no circumstances should they be questioned as unforgivable. Abuse of any kind- including physical, sexual or emotional, addiction – including drug, alcohol, sex, shopping, work, or porn, affairs, poor hygiene, inattention, religious differences. These hated behaviors that if your significant other has no intentions or willingness, to change are certainly deal breakers and unforgivable. Some people can tolerate more in a relationship then others, but this doesn’t mean they accept that behavior, most of these behaviors are issues for deeper problems and if they are destructive to the relationship you need to work out if they can be worked on or they are unforgivable.
The mistakes itself is also a big deciding factor, was it lying, cheating, a reoccurring problem and the big question do they respect you?

There is a difference between white lies and a lie that is a big deal and hurtful, lies generally become a problem when they impact the security of the relationship. If your partner is lying about what they are doing, who they are with, who they are talking to, or hiding things from you, you need to question what their intentions are. Especially if lying is becoming a reoccurring issue, patterns of lying only ever get worse or more hurtful as they go on, if the trust is gone, there isn’t much more you can do to fix it again.

Straying Eyes
Philanderer

Cheating can come in so many different forms but basically cheating is a touchy subject to most. Where they thinking of you while they were being unfaithful? Or did they only think about you finding out. Most who actively cheat will do it again especially if you forgive them the first time, if it truly was a mistake they will do everything in their power to prove to you that it was exactly that, a mistake.

A reoccurring problem is one in which happens time and time again, it can be a combination of anything that hurts you or something in which you can’t move beyond in the relationship. Reoccurring problems are deal breakers and are unforgivable because if your significant other is constantly hurting you this means they either do not respect you, or they honestly think this behavior is ok, and if that’s the case you need to get over it or leave.

Respect is massive in a relationship along with trust, it is the foundation of a relationship and partnership. Mistakes can happen, but you need to ask yourself if your significant other respects you enough not to make that mistake again, are they able to put you through that pain again and live with their consequences. You need to forgive that person for the relationship to work, but if you cannot do that you need to decide if the relationship is worth fighting for, if that’s the case you need to let go of the hurt and pain and focus on the future.

Only you can decide if something is unforgiveable, but often that’s the hardest part of the decision, walking away or choosing to stay is up to you.

Morgan x

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.