7 Essential Rules To Seduce A Beautiful Woman


You’ve probably asked yourself how to show a girl that you want her in a way so that she doesn’t reject you. But in fact, it’s not about how much you want her. It’s all about her and her desire to have sex with you. The guys from Yes dates shared a couple of tips on how to gently guide the girl you fancy towards your bed.

1) Show Yourself Off

It’s easier than it seems. Most sexual interactions are motivated by women giving silent signals to the world. Your task is to direct these signals to yourself. What does it mean? For example, when you arrive at a party try to stand in the middle of the room for a while. It’s natural for girls to hang around the epicentre of the party. Besides, this gives the lady a chance to examine you from all sides. If you notice a girl you already know in the crowd, smile at her as women always prefer even casual acquaintances to suspicious strangers. Get a smile in return, catch her eye and leave the room. You already made it clear that you’re ready to make contact… To be continued.

2) Look Into Her Eyes

Making her agree to take a tour around your bedroom isn’t so difficult. Just ask her when you see that her pupils are fully dilated. This shows that at this moment, she’s receptive to everything you say. If the situation requires immediate agreement and you don’t have time to wait until the pupils have expanded all by themselves, then just dim the lights in the room. Her pupils will dilate, her receptivity and her interest in you will suddenly jump to the level you need. Carefully watch how she reacts to your words. If she takes a look to the left, be ready for a quick decision. If she looks to the right, then she most likely needs some time to think. At this moment, we can say that her positive answer will make you happy.

3) Know What To Say

If you were sexual partners in the past, tell her how much you enjoyed everything that happened between the two of you. These words will result in a surge of hormones of happiness (dopamine and oxytocin) in your companion’s body. Be sure, after such fireworks of emotions, she’ll try to do everything to make you say these words again in hope of getting a new portion of these hormones. The conditional reflex works for you in this case. This is extremely important for good flirting.

4) Stand Your Ground

A girl always prefers men who know what they want, even if they want to seduce her. Moreover, it will flatter her and make her a little more talkative. Give her all the charm you have. In a skilled seducer’s hands, this weapon can work miracles! And, of course, be persistent. It’s not so easy to refuse a persistent and charming partner who wants you and doesn’t even hide it.

5) Don’t Agree With Everything She Says

You shouldn’t agree with what your companion tells you. Girls are interested in socially dominant men. That’s why when having a conversation about anything (the topic doesn’t matter), try to argue with her from time to time, not agreeing with her words, but your arguments should be similar to her arguments. At some point, she might think that she managed to change your point of view. Let her think this way! But remember: a healthy argument is good, and throwing a glass of beer in her face is a bad argument; it can spoil the evening.

6) Be Generous

This method only works in the long run. By nature, a woman is programmed in such a way that she’s attracted to generous men. Let’s say that for her, generosity is a signal that a man has some surplus of resources which he’s ready to share. It’s not even about giving her a gold necklace and taking her to a luxury restaurant. Give some money to the homeless guy in the underpass, donate your blood, or take the bag of toys to the orphanage. First, it will make a proper impression on her. Second, these are good deeds that will boost your mood and self-esteem.

One night stand
Image: Picking-up

7) Use Non-verbal Body Language

Don’t hesitate to use long proven non-verbal ways to persuade your companion. Breathe in the same rhythm with her and repeat her gestures. Using simple techniques of non-verbal language can form a desired image of you in a person’s mind which will influence how they react and behave towards you. Repeating your partner’s gestures creates the illusion that you absolutely agree with everything she says. We don’t need to tell you how important that is, right? And the girl can relax a bit, knowing that she has nothing be afraid of with you, since you’re on the same page.

To Sum Up

Try not to show the girl that you want her too much. You need to make her want to seduce you instead. The thing is that girls don’t like when guys give them too much attention. Perhaps it’s not that noticeable, and it seems that ladies love when men show sympathy to them all the time, but it’s not true. The most important thing here is to play with her a little. Don’t try to give all that you have to her and share all of your secrets at once; don’t be afraid that she’ll leave you. If she is interested in you enough, she’ll stay by your side.

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

The Beautiful Truth About My Wife’s Aging

Old couple kissing

On the eve of my wife’s 45th birthday we spoke about her aging beauty.

She – I have developed so many wrinkles on my face. I look ugly, don’t I?

I – I appreciate those wrinkles. They are formed majestically over the years from the innumerable smiles you gave me when I was depressed, dejected and down. You heartily laughed at my stale jokes just to make me feel good. I love those wrinkles.

She – See, my eyes look swollen. Oh… There are even wrinkles around my eyes… Dark circles below…

I – Aren’t they lovely? Don’t you remember you used to stay awake when I worked late shifts and came home late? And the long nights you had spent nursing the children till they grew up? What about when you sat beside my pillow and placed a wet handkerchief on my forehead? You used to check my fever every three hours and administer medicine. Did you forget? And your innocent eyes only had sliced my heart in half the first time I saw you…

She – Look… Grey hair… Growing in leaps and bounds… Get me hair dye tomorrow… Dark brown… or burgundy…

I – It looks so mature. Silky grey. Soft and bouncy. Black and white. How many times have I placed my hands around your waist and pulled you close just to put my head in that mane of yours and inhale that magical scent you ooze… and then press the lips at the back of your neck? Now you want me to smell the chemicals? No. Your hair is enchanting as it is. Let it be.

Couple aging gracefully
Image: Aging couple

She – I am old now… Look… How my breasts are sagging…

I – Oh darling… They have selflessly given nourishment to our young ones. Remember you were adamant about breastfeeding and never wanted powdered milk for them. Sure they sag, so what? I like to fondle them.

She – Have you seen my belly lately? Protruding as though I am pregnant… I want a tummy tuck… skin color.

I – What about my beer belly? It now matches yours so why worry honey? Besides, have you seen those glossy mags selling women lingerie lately… Cosmopolitan, Maxim, Vogue, Elle and the others. Those models are fake dear… You are real. They are photo shopped images, computer created. Virtual. You are here, standing in front of me in flesh and blood. Real. I like your belly and the button on it.

She – Did you notice the varicose veins on my legs? They look like spiders all over. I can’t stand up for long… Knees pain… Get me those stockings first thing tomorrow.

I – Of course, love… I will. But you are forgetting how you walked alongside me for miles together when we even could not afford a bicycle. You never complained but kept flashing that irresistible smile and the journey became so joyful. You said you never felt pain when I was your companion. Water was so scarce. You drew it from the community well and carried it home. Didn’t you? And I never saw you being lazy. You were so quick and agile. Day in and day out you sacrificed so many things just to build the castle we now own.

She – Friends are avoiding me slowly. Aunt Flo stopped coming. She helped me maintain my elixir. I can’t ride the crimson tide anymore…

I – Yes… It was to happen. You treated her like a celebrity and she dumped you like a fan… hahaha.

She – But… Look I have lost all my curves…

I – This is a learning curve sweetie… I need you to love yourself as you are. Listen, stop comparing yourself to those fake models and pin-up girls. Become what women have been through all of history. What women have always known themselves to be. Remember the time before the internet. Before glossy magazines and before filmy heroines. When far fewer women hated their bodies and felt worthless instead women loved their bodies. Marilyn Monroe said:

”Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”

I discover the beauty your imperfection carries. You are a human first and a woman later. You have real curves and real softness. The comfort I feel when I hug you. The goose bumps I feel when I touch your soft lips. Here, let me pull you into my arms and touch your earlobe with my lips and softly whisper those three magical words… Come…

And then she melts in my arms.

Author: Dr. Satish Bendigiri is a human resource specialist and educator with two decades of corporate experience and management education. Dr. Satish has a doctorate in training and development of employees in general and employees in the automobile sector.

Adultsmart welcomes Guest Bloggers to submit 800 word articles with original content about topics relating to sexual lifestyle, health and wellness. If you would like to participate, send an email to rick.xsales@gmail.com with your ideas or an article that you wish to submit. If you publish multiple articles on Adultsmart’s Blog you will become an Adultsmart Expert.

Women’s Empowerment Versus Man-hating Feminists

Empowered woman

Unless you have been living under a rock somewhere in outer space, you will have noticed the prevalence of “female empowerment” in mainstream media. The revelations against some powerful figures in the entertainment industry followed by the #metoo campaign appeared to be the start of a dramatic shift for women in 2017, with huge stands made against sexual violence, discrimination and assault.

Sexual assaults victims of Harvey Weinstein
Image: Harvey Weinstein Sexual Assaults
#metoo sexual assault and violence awareness march
Image: #metoo Survivors March

I’ve seen many posts and articles flooding social media and news websites with comments from women reminiscent of the man-hating feminist rants from decades ago and felt great sadness that in some ways, this approach to standing up for women’s rights is still being taken.

Before you go thinking that I am anti-feminist and against the uprising of women, I want to state that this could not be further from the truth. I have spent years growing into my own power and learning ways with which I can teach women how to do the same. I am beyond thrilled to see women thrive in the world and believe we all have the right to do so. The one distinction I want to make crystal clear from some notions of feminism is that I absolutely love men just as much as women. I can believe in the absolute necessity of equal rights for all beings, I can stand for women and their right to feel safe in this world, I can fight for my grandmothers, mothers, sisters, friends and future daughters rights to live a life from a free and empowered place and at the same time I can completely and utterly love men. Believe it or not, the two are not exclusive!

Equal rights with Emma Watson
Image: Emma Watson Equality Quote

If there is one thing that really gets me fired up it’s the absolute conviction of one gender based on a minorities actions. I cringe when I see abrasive, man-hating discrimination disguised as female empowerment. I understand that sexual violence and discrimination is rampant with women across the world however I see judging and treating every man on this planet as part of the problem being similar to condemning every white person in this world as being a racist skinhead – it is nonsensical to treat every man as a deviant, predatory and manipulative creature when this behaviour is not representative of the majority.

If women continue to ostracise all men, we will find that men are going to go about life feeling as if they are walking on egg shells around us, afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing. I don’t know about you but I could not think of anything worst!! I want the men in this world to feel confident, empowered and self-assured to speak their truth, just like I want the same for all women.

Stop Expecting Men To Know How To Treat You And Tell Them How

All this discussion around certain men’s behaviour validates the importance of men being shown how to treat women. I believe this needs to be done in a way that empowers them to treat women with respect, love and reverence. Fighting, yelling at and shunning all men does not work. I see that condemnation, as opposed to education, results in a continuing vicious cycle that does not make room for union between men and women.

Men desire to be loved, respected and adored, just as women desire love, adoration and respect. I believe that if women wait around for men to treat them in the way they want to be treated, they will spend their whole lives waiting. What a waste of a life when there is so much potential for beautiful relationships between men and women!

We end up placing so many expectations onto others to know how to treat us without taking the time to communicate how it is we actually want to be treated. All the men in this world are not going to one day wake up and know how it is they “should” be with women, it doesn’t happen that way. What I believe is needed is for women to show men the way. I in no way believe in allowing disrespectful treatment and see that it is vital for both women and men to have healthy boundaries and call out poor treatment if and when it occurs. What I feel is important is that we all have compassion and understanding for the unique yet universal difficulties that each gender faces in life.

Women, I encourage you to show a man how it is you need to be treated, communicate clearly and kindly what it is you desire, tell him when he is out of line and be honest with how it makes you feel. Encourage him to do the same with you. If what he has said or done results in you feeling sad, be sad!! If he said something that led to you feeling fiery rage, feel this!! Don’t conceal, don’t suppress and be honest with your emotions. But don’t outcast him from society for mistakes that he may make from an ignorant and/or conditioned place. Don’t disempower yourself by falling victim and making him the cause of all your problems.

So many times a man does something that triggers something deep within us that runs so much deeper than that single experience. We carry wounds from the past, old traumas and pains that are held in our bodies (not necessarily from this lifetime) and when we are triggered, it often doesn’t make sense why whatever they have done causes us to feel so intensely. Women, I ask that you don’t put all of this on him, he doesn’t deserve it just as you don’t deserve to carry it. Ask for space to feel and express in a healthy way and shift it out of your body.

What’s needed is the power of the feminine. The feminine is not the solution, rather it’s the feminine in a relationship and harmony with the masculine that’s the way forward, allowing both their full brilliance.

There is so much potential for potent and powerful union between men and women that awaits us all. Let’s rise above the idea that we need to blame and shame each other in order to move forward into this new way of being with each other.

*I speak from a heteronormative, gender binary perspective and understand that this may not apply to some people. My intention has not been to exclude but rather simplify and condense this post.

Author: Stephanie Curtis – BA. Nursing., Grad. Dip. Sexology

Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph’s writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.

Top Hallmark Warning Signs Of Co-dependency

Co-dependent couple

Continuing on from my last blog about “when intelligent women attract the wrong men” there is also the tangent of co-dependency. Co-dependency knows no boundaries and isn’t defined by a person’s social status, sexual preference, skin colour, age, race, hair colour, gender, height, weight or even shoe size – it is a free for all, anyone can be affected by it.

What is co-dependency?

Co-dependency is defined by Mental Health America as:

“An emotional and behavioural condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with co-dependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.”

Psychology Today defines relationship co-dependency as:

“A specific type of dysfunctional helping relationship. Broadly speaking, in dysfunctional helping relationships, one person helps support (enables) the others underachievement, irresponsibility, immaturity, addiction, procrastination, poor mental health or physical health.“

Co-dependency has such a broad spectrum of definitions that culling it down to specifically looking at “relationship co-dependency” gives a more targeted approach.

Characteristics of co-dependent people include:

  • An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others.
  • A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue.
  • A tendency to do more than share, all of the time.
  • A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognise their efforts.
  • An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment.
  • An extreme need for approval and recognition.
  • A sense of guilt when asserting themselves.
  • A compelling need to control others.
  • Lack of trust in self and/or others.
  • Fear of being abandoned or alone.
  • Difficulty identifying feelings.
  • Rigidity and difficulty adjusting to change.
  • Problems with intimacy and healthy boundaries.
  • Chronic anger.
  • Lying and dishonesty.
  • Poor communication skills.
  • Difficulty making decisions.

How do co-dependent people behave?

Low self-esteem is a major trait of a co-dependent person they look for anything outside themselves to make them feel better. They find it incredibly difficult to be themselves, and often end up turning to drugs, alcohol or nicotine to feel better. More times than not they become addicted like they do with a co-dependent relationship, others develop compulsive behaviours such as gambling, indiscriminate sexual activity and workaholism.

Addiction quote
Image: Patrick Carnes Addiction Quote

The good intentions are there, trying to look after someone who is experiencing difficulties isn’t a bad thing. What is bad is when it becomes compulsive and defeating when they become benefactors to an individual’s needs. Examples include; a wife may cover for her alcoholic husband, a mother may make excuses for an absentee child and a father who may “pull strings” to keep his children from suffering consequences for their actions by involving themselves in criminal behaviour.

The problem is when a destructive course begins to cycle as repeated attempts allow the needy individual to continue, they become more dependent on their unhealthy caretaking role as the benefactor. This increases as the co-dependent develops a sense of achievement and satisfaction for being needed, thus turning it into a compulsive, choice less and helpless behaviour within the relationship dynamic. They are unable to break away from this vicious and consuming cycle, they view themselves as victims and are attracted to the same weakness in the love and friendship of relationships.

Differences between co-dependence and dependence

It is very important to know the difference between the two, one is a positive and desirable trait whilst the other is harmful.


Both people will rely on each other for support and love. Both find value in the relationship they also both make their relationship a priority while still having interests, hobbies and friends outside the relationship. Expressing emotions and needs is done in a way where it benefits both parties.


Feeling worthless unless they are needed by the other person is a normal trait for a co-dependent, as well as making drastic sacrifices for the enabler. Satisfaction is only gained from the enabler and this is achieved by getting their every need met by the other person. The only time the co-dependent is happy is when they are making extreme sacrifices for their partner. In order to feel purpose they need to be needed by their partner, all of their interests and values are controlled by their partner’s interests and values, in turn they have no personal identity. They feel their own needs and desires are not important and will not express them, they have a difficult time understanding their own feelings or needs.

On the flip side an enabler also has a dysfunctional role, they are a person who relies upon a co-dependent and does not know how to have an equal. Instead they involve themselves into a two-sided relationship and rely on the other person’s sacrifices and neediness.

Identifying signs of co-dependency

Mental Health America has a questionnaire to identify signs of co-dependency, there are different degrees and intensity levels of the symptoms and they range in a spectrum of severity. Please note that only a qualified professional can make a diagnosis of co-dependency, but if any of these symptoms are of concern to you please don’t hesitate to contact your doctor.

  1. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?
  2. Are you always worried about other people’s opinions of you?
  3. Have you ever lived with someone with an alcohol or drug problem?
  4. Have you ever lived with someone who hits or belittles you?
  5. Are the opinions of other people more important than your own?
  6. Do you have difficulty adjusting to changes at work or home?
  7. Do you feel rejected when your significant other spends time with friends?
  8. Do you doubt your ability to be who you want to be?
  9. Are you uncomfortable expressing your true feelings to others?
  10. Have you ever felt inadequate?
  11. Do you feel like a “bad person” when you make a mistake?
  12. Do you have difficulty taking compliments or gifts?
  13. Do you feel humiliation when your child or spouse makes a mistake?
  14. Do you think people in your life would go downhill without your constant efforts?
  15. Do you frequently wish someone could help you get things done?
  16. Do you have difficulty talking to people in authority, such as the police or your boss?
  17. Are you confused about who you are or where you are going with your life?
  18. Do you have trouble saying “no” when asked for help?
  19. Do you have trouble asking for help?
  20. Do you have so many things going at once that you can’t do justice to any of them?

Morgan x

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.

When Intelligent Women Attract The Wrong Men

Empath with compassion

I am an empath,




(chiefly in science fiction) a person with the paranormal ability to perceive the mental or emotional state of another individual.

And I am extremely good at attracting narcissists.




noun: narcissist; plural noun: narcissists

a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.

“narcissists who think the world revolves around them”

Narcissistic quote
Image: Someecards Narcissistic Quote

When we are in the thick of a relationship we tend to wear rose coloured glasses as so to speak, and a lot of the time we don’t realise we are with a narcissist until the end when it’s already too late. Contrary to popular belief weak women do not attract narcissists, an empath will; an empath is a healer as such, they have the ability to sense and absorb other people’s pain and take it as their own. If an empath does not know how to protect themselves and set boundaries, they will very easily and quickly bond with a narcissist in order to fix any damage or pain they have felt in their life. This dynamic will confuse an empath and most likely weaken their views as if they do not have complete understanding of their own or others peoples agendas and capabilities; they won’t realise that not everyone is like them. The saying “put yourself in someone else’s shoes” isn’t hard for an empath at all because that’s what they do; they take the experiences, feelings, thoughts and emotions from others and feel those themselves. They forget that other people have a very different agenda, and not everyone has sincere values like them.

It is imperative that a narcissist is manipulative; they need to be in a position whereby they can rise above others and be in control. Whereas an empath is in a position to love, heal and care; there is no balance and it is extremely unlikely there ever will be no matter how much you try. A narcissist will become more powerful the more love and care an empath gives.

This type of connection is difficult to see and we feel as though we are trapped and trying to decipher some code or riddle in order to understand – but in fact it’s not that hard. Detangling ourselves from the web that the narcissist has created can be emotionally exhausting and can be very difficult to actually see what is happening and we often try to lay blame, on ourselves, on them, on us, the people around us, the circumstances, the timing of the relationship and the truth.

Red flags are never visible, and we are in an almost “drunk” state or like we are wearing rose coloured glasses; but when we are ready to actually see the truth it all becomes a lot clearer.

An emotional exchange takes place when a narcissist takes control of an empath, a narcissist is seeking admiration and validation, they have a constant need for their ego to be stroked and in return they will provide whatever the other person is lacking. This is only on the surface though, and always comes with conditions that their needs always need to be a priority, regardless of the effects it has on anyone else.

At the start it feels like a fairy-tale, as though your once upon a time has truly started and you have finally met your prince charming; but when clarity finally hits you realise it was all just a dream, you feel shell-shocked and bewildered. You scramble to understand what drew you to that person and how you got sucked in (again). You become puzzled and look back onto tiny clues trying hard to work out what kind of insanity caused you to miss all the signs as to why you didn’t walk away at the start.

Unfortunately trying to talk to and understand why a narcissist treated you the way they did is almost impossible, they refuse to show anyone there hand due to the fear of being exposed, and removing their mythical mask of deceit and power.

Angry and raging narcissist
Image: Raging Narcissist

Studies On Narcissists About Marital Satisfaction And Sexual Performance

McNulty and Widman did a study on marital satisfaction and they confirmed all of the observations about narcissists — both the negatives about communication and intimacy and the positives pertaining to sexual skill. In the sexual domain, the narcissistic traits that are activated are entitlement, exploitation, and an inflated sense of skill. On a physical level what is also interesting is that sexually narcissists are very mixed, empathy is a huge part of sex for a good sexual experience and passionate connection. Narcissist tend to be sexually aggressive and have little to no open communication, there is also a tendency for infidelity. Narcissists have a seductive power and use emotional confusion to mask the selfishness they have, narcissist like sex, and they are very focused on how good they are. Their traits of entitlement flow into their sexual life as well and because they tend to be so focused on themselves they have no empathy for their partner or consequences for their infidelity only for their sexual gain.

A second study by these authors, uncovered that it was sexual narcissism, not general narcissism, which predicted infidelity. It’s been estimated that 25 percent of married men and 20 percent of married women cheat, so obviously all cheaters aren’t narcissists. McNulty and Widman found that a sense of sexual entitlement, pride in sexual skills, and a lack of sexual empathy for the partner were connected to infidelity.

Learn From The Relationship With A Narcissist

The best way to learn is from the relationship so we do not repeat it again, we should try not to focus on the narcissist but ourselves. We need to focus on what attracted us to the relationship in the first place so we can take accountability for our own role. The signs aren’t clear when you are in the thick of the relationship you can only look back and see the signs after and realise where you went wrong and how it built up over time.

What we have to remember is that we chose to enter into this relationships it wasn’t forced upon us, narcissists are cleaver and manipulative and we fed into that, all we can do is learn from our mistakes and move on; hopefully to grow stronger and smarter.

The Co-dependent Relationship

When we meet a narcissist we tend to project our needs and wants onto them without realising, it is mutually beneficial at the start because what we want the narcissist delivers and in return the narcissist has control. This is called co-dependency; where we place our happiness, hopes and dreams in to the hands of a narcissist and then they are free to control your feelings to do as they please. What we find is that because a narcissist is selfish they mix their wants and needs into the mix and unfortunately they clash. There is a constant balancing act where when things are rocky the narcissist will bring out their charm again until all is forgiven and back on track then the vicious cycle begins again. This is until either you bring out your inner strength and realise what is going on or the narcissist drains all they can drain and renders us useless and moves on.

How Empaths Can Become Stronger

If we focus on ourselves, and provide ourselves with enough love, self-worth, independence and happiness we will hopefully stop looking for others to provide those emotions for us. This will mean that we will not be looking for someone else to keep us fulfilled and alive, and hopefully they will only give us a quick sense of nourishment before we realise their true nature. When we are hungry we will accept less and are weak and then weakened further if we are strong we will see the signs and move on.

Stay strong.

Morgan x

Author: Morgan is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Although relatively young Morgan has lived a life filled with experiences that have made her grow as a person. She has completed and is a product and interior designer who is a strong believer in equality between sexes and speaks out against violence. Working in the adult industry has allowed her to grow as a person and come out of her emotional and sexual shell.