It’s All About The BDSM Collars

bdsm collar

With the rise in popularity in BDSM and wearable kink gear let’s talk about collars.

 

Collars are used for a variety of reasons in BDSM and play and it’s important to know the different meanings surrounding them. It is not unusual to pass a coworker who is wearing a subtle and discreet collar everyday and you might never know.

 

Collars aren’t exclusively used as a form of restraint, punishment or degradation.

 

Collars of consideration:

 

Often used for new relationships, a form of ownership, think of it like a stepping stone to a permanent collar between a dom/sub, master/slave etc. The training collar is as much for both parties to decide if this is the dynamic that they would each like to pursue.

 

Training Collar:

 

These collars are worn when in a dynamic when a sub or slave is being trained in the dynamic, whilst still a form and a sign of ownership and is up to the Dom/Master when the training is complete.

 

Protection Collar

 

A collar in any variant is a form of protection. A collared person is under protection of someone and etiquette should be followed accordingly. This affords the wearer the ability to be left alone by single dominants unless they have the permission of the collar’s owner to approach. This is a responsibility of the dominant or whoever is in charge of the collar is significant and should also not be taken lightly. We will go into this further down.

 

Play Collars

 

There are two ways that a play collar can be used.In terms of dynamic, this is the most relaxed form of dynamic collars, but still not simply a collar for being restrained. Play collars are collars where dynamics are enforced and utilised during kinky scenes as soon as the collar is placed around the submissive’s neck.They are helpful to prepare the mindset for the scene that is about to come. When the collar is on, the wearer is the submissive, they are in the space of a submissive and respond to the person who placed it on them as such and respect them accordingly. At the end of the play session, which doesn’t necessarily need to be sexual, and the collar comes off, this is the sign that the dynamic has finished and the rules that applied for while the collar was on, are now complete. This form of training, or boundaries can be good for people who need that added guidance, comfort, or security. Lt me circle back for a second in case anyone was confused when I said play didn’t need to be sexual. Play with a collar could be anything from sex, to impact, or or service such as waiting on a person, bringing them food or acts of service. But even, play could be going out on a date and following certain protocols and rules. The limits are endless. It is whatever you and your play partner design, but they are your rules.

 

Other play collars are actual “play” collars. The type that are used during play for playful reasons, for restraint, for tying up and leading around, for degradation and submission or pet play. These can cross over into any of the other types of collar wearing and sometimes also be a stand alone. You can like being choked or led around on a collar without being a submissive.

 

24/7 collars

 

This brings me to our permanent collars. Our 24/7 collars that are worn all of the time. These are special collars indeed and can carry many different meanings to individual dynamics. For some, a permanent collar is the equivalent of an engagement ring or a wedding ring. For some, it is ownership. What it boils down to, is that it is a promise between two people that they take each other to be trusting of each other as a Dominant and a submissive and to respect each other as thus and to follow the rules of their relationship. Again, whatever that entails depending on their unique relationship.

Some dynamics might have contracts written up. Some may have collaring ceremonies and invite friends and family to witness placing the collar around the submissive’s neck. A permanent collar cannot be placed without both parties deciding and agreeing to it.

Because these collars are permanent, and never come off there are many different alternatives that people can pick these days. Nowadays many people choose to wear collars that appear closer to necklaces so that they are able to wear them to the office or out in public daily without being noticed. Some opt for the eternity collars that are fastened with an allen key. Others can get subtle BDSM collars custom fit to enjoy the best of both worlds.

 

Collar etiquette.

 

A few things to know about someone’s collar.

It is very disrespectful to touch a person’s collar without first gaining permission, and even then only if necessary.

If a person is collared it is always wise to speak to their “Dominant first” as a show of respect.

A person wearing a collar should not remove their collar without asking their “Dominant” first.

Wearing collars can also be very fashionable, so we understand that it may be hard to know if someone is wearing one as a fashion choice or a protocol, if in doubt, ask them, or someone at the event. If the person who is wearing it doesn’t answer, that’s ok, they might not be allowed to answer. Please do not think they are being rude and press them. Move on. If their Dominant approaches, apologise and explain. But we always suggest, asking the organiser of the event first when in doubt. They will be able to vet the situation better for you.

 

Collars are a beautiful and fun way to share connections and feelings within the BDSM scene. Collared individuals feel quite proud to be owned/collared by their dominants and see it as praise and an honour to be asked about their collars.

 

At Your Service,

 

Tiffany

OhZone  Adult Shop Sales Assistant, Educator and Proudly Collared.

What are Common Fetishes Seen in Porn?

nylon milf

There are a lot of fetishes out there. It doesn’t matter what anyone happens to be into, they can find a whole array of porn videos to see it play out. A fetish, by the way, is “a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.” That means that a person can fetishize basically anything that they want, although it’s almost never a choice. A fetish is something that a person can’t control, but needs nonetheless. Here are some of the most common fetishes that can be found in porn.

Foot Fetish

By and large, the most common fetish out there is the foot fetish and it comes in many different forms. You can find foot fetish videos where feet are simply displayed for the camera. Then there are foot fetish videos with feet being licked, smelled, and even having sex with someone. The feet can be naked or they can be in stockings or shoes. If there’s a way to show off feet, there are hundreds or thousands of porn videos with it happening to find.

Nylon Fetish

Next up is the nylon fetish. It’s just as common as the foot fetish, but it doesn’t have to be as obvious. Nylon fetishists can find their subjects in almost any porn video that they see. There’s almost always a part of the video that has the model in nylons and that’s all it takes for some people. Of course, there are also plenty of porn videos that take it to an extreme. You can see nylons getting ripped apart, used as a restraint, and even being forced on someone who does want to wear them. It all depends on how deep the fetish goes.

Ageplay

Ageplay really has two different forms, but if we’re talking about the most common fetishes in porn, then we have to talk about age difference porn. It’s all over the place and can come in the form of an older woman with a younger man or an older man with a younger woman. It’s where the whole MILF thing comes from. Younger men tend to fetishize older women that they see as sexually experienced seductresses. Any porn search on any site is going to bring up lots of age play videos with some other fetish thrown in.

Voyeurism

Voyeurism is also very high on the list. It’s the basis for an entire industry of reality porn videos. It doesn’t matter how realistic it actually is. If you’re told that people are having real sex and not performing for a camera, a fetishist can lose himself in anything he sees. Naturally, actual voyeur porn is next to impossible to find. That’s because it’s very illegal to record someone without his or her consent and sell it as adult content. Even so, the fantasy is being sold all over the internet and it’s not going to be going anywhere.

Bondage

Getting more into the specialty aspect of porn, you can find bondage. This is a common one, but it usually requires porn that’s focused on it. You can’t really just add in a little bondage to a vanilla sex scene and think it will satisfy anyone. The bondage needs to be front and center and it usually requires special equipment. That’s why you won’t find quite as many bondage porn videos as foot or nylon fetishes, but it’s still extremely common. A little rope can go a long way if you know how to use it.

Role Playing

Finally, we get to role play. This is a fetish that you can find anywhere at any time. All it involves is someone playing the role of someone else during sex. This can be a woman pretending to a college student, a man pretending to be a plumber, or any person pretending to be a fictional character. It’s as common in porn as it is in the actual bedroom. Any porn site that focuses on role play can expect to have a whole lot of traffic and it doubles as a great way to learn how to play at it in real life.

New to BDSM? Here’s what you should know

bdsm novice

So you’ve read about it, seen it in a movie, or heard a friend talk about their experience. It doesn’t matter how you first encountered it — BDSM is bound to inspire curiosity in everyone who comes across the concept.

 

The truth is, few things in the world are as misconstrued as BDSM. Factors like misrepresentation in movies and the lifestyle’s reputation for being extremely taboo contribute to many misconceptions about it. 

 

If you’re planning to try BDSM yourself, we strongly caution against going into it blindly. Trust us. You want to be as prepared and knowledgeable as possible when you dive into the exhilarating world of BDSM.

 

So before you press check-out on that cart full of naughty costumes and BDSM gear, make sure to read this newbies’ guide.

What is BDSM?

BDSM stands for “bondage, domination, sadism, and masochism, and is an umbrella term for just about any type of power dynamic in the bedroom.

 

So depending on who you are and what types of sexual adventures you’re into, BDSM can mean many things. It can be as simple as light spanking, or it can go as far as elaborate bondage and strict obedience.

 

If you’ve always been dominant in your everyday life, BDSM can offer you an alternate world where you allow someone else to call the shots (and vice versa!). BDSM is big on freedom, experimentation, adventure, and fun. As long as you keep in mind the tips below, you’re bound to have a great experience.

Tips for a great BDSM experience

Discuss consent and boundaries.

What’s the key difference between BDSM and straight-up sexual assault? Consent. Intimate activities should always stem from an agreement regardless of context. The beauty of BDSM is you get to experience things that are considered by many as too taboo. Truly, it’s a judgment-free lifestyle. You can do pretty much anything as long as all participants willingly and explicitly consent to it.


A discussion about personal boundaries is essential to safely enjoy BDSM. Establish what is allowed and what is off-limits before getting frisky with your partner, and make sure to always respect each other’s limits.

A safeword is essential.

All parties involved should understand the risks and take all necessary precautions. One non-negotiable safety measure is the use of a safeword. This word, which is agreed upon beforehand, will serve as a signal to either tone down or completely halt activities if things go too far. 

 

Most suggest using words that you wouldn’t typically say in a sexual situation. For example, people want to be able to say ‘’stop’’ and ‘’no’’ as a part of role-playing without spoiling the fun. 

 

That said, choose your safeword wisely. It can be something as mundane as “yellow” or “noodles” — really, it’s up to you!

Be open and honest.

Communication is vital in BDSM. You should be comfortable enough to talk about your desires and fantasies. Conversely, no-go’s and turn-offs should also be discussed. BDSM needs openness and honesty to be fully enjoyed.

 

One common mistake we often see beginners make is compromising on their comfort. They allow themselves to be pushed to do things they’re not 100% comfortable with out of fear of being branded a buzzkill. But really, you shouldn’t be engaging with anyone who judges or shames you for your boundaries. 

Start small.

When you’re planning for your first ever BDSM session, it can get tempting to go all-out. Blindfolds and handcuffs? Check! Dirty talk? Check! Whips and lots of rope? Why not?

 

While there’s nothing wrong with pulling out all the stops, we recommend starting small — especially if it’s a first time for both you and your partner. Allow yourself to slowly explore and get a feel for the lifestyle. You can always add more later.

A parting note

Once you’ve got the tips we’ve outlined above down pat, always remember one thing: have lots of fun! BDSM might sound dark and scary, but the truth is, it’s a sexual experience that’s only possible with lots of communication, respect, and care. Good luck!

Being Smart about Fluid Bonding

bonding with fluids

Fluid Bonding is a term that is gaining more traction in today’s society alongside polyamory, open relationships and consent. So what does it mean?

 

Fluid bonding is the intentional decision between parties/people where they decide to share bodily fluids. This decision can be made for many reasons ranging from person to person and it is important to have these conversations as to why to ensure that you and the people/s are on the same page. Some of the reasons may be for emotional connection, serious involvement, a step in a relationship, ownership, BDSM or fetish.

 

Fluid bonding is a serious subject because sharing body fluids comes at great risk. Bodily fluids such as saliva, semen, vaginal discharge and blood can carry STIs and diseases that can be harmful when spread.

 

Fluid Bonding is not a term thrown around for once offs, it is an ongoing commitment. Some Fluid bonded relationships are still open outside of their fluid bonded relationship but that means that any and all play is protected from start to finish and will require testing to ensure that everyone is safe.

 

Fluid Bonding is built on a basis of trust and open transparency upon past sexual health and future sexual health and testing. Discussing these may be difficult or uncomfortable but it is very necessary to protect everyone involved.

 

When making the decision to become Fluid Bonded, it is important to sit down and discuss why you would like to become fluid bonded, what it means to each of you. Then it is important to get tested either together or separately but to share those test results with each other. Communication and complete transparency regarding this and if you have had any STIs in the past is necessary for the safety of each other moving forward.

 

Work out if you are closed or open and how you will mitigate testing in the future. If you will be sharing partners, it’s important to know how to protect yourselves not just yourself. If you have more than one partner or are in a fluid bonded polyamorous relationship ensure that everyone is aware of the risks and discuss getting tested regularly to keep everyone safe and on the same page.

 

Another discussion point for hetero-sexual partners is to discuss further contraception option if children are not immediately wanted, or wanted at all.

 

Fluid bonding like consent can always be ended or retracted. If there is moment, or something that makes you feel uncomfortable you are always within your rights to ask to reinstate using barriers during intercourse

 

A note about Precum:

Precum can still carry bacteria, viruses and sexually transmitted diseases and still contract sexually transmitted diseases. Any and all play involving PIV (penis in Vagina) or PIA (penis in anus) or PIM (penis in mouth) should use a condom if you are not fluid bonded with another person to minimise the risk of transferable diseases and cleanliness.

At Your Service

Tiffany

Caringbah Oh Zone Adult Shop Sale assistant, Educator and Safe Sex Advocate

 

Molten Mastery – Wax Play Appreciation

erotic wax

Indulge in your senses.

Close your eyes and imagine the thick rivulets of wax sliding over the mounds and curves of your skin, set hard in the cool air that hovers around you.

 

Ever been interested in the sensations of hot and cold?

 

Ever enjoyed hot hot showers or perhaps the allure of stone massages?

 

Perhaps Wax play is for you dearest.

 

Wax play is the art of pouring, dripping and playing with fetsih wax on the human body. Either stand alone or in conjunction with being tied up, flogged, or as part of a scene. Wax in itself is a beautiful material and comes in many different colours and temperatures.

 

To begin our divulge into this art form we must first impart how important it is to only use fetish candles that are specific to fetish play. You mustn’t use candles that can be bought from convenience store or hardware stores as they will have unpredictable burning temperatures, be mixed with chemicals that will have unstable burning properties and have a higher risk of causing lasting damage to skin.

 

Candles used in wax play will be made out of two different types of materials. Soy or paraffin or a combination of the two. Never use Beeswax candles. These will burn too hot for human skin to handle and cause burns to the skin that will need emergency attention.

 

When preparing for any wax play always ensure that your space is clear and clean to play. Remove any flammable materials in case your candles were to knock over to ensure there are no fire hazards. In the event that something was to catch on fire or the wax was too hot for the skin, also ensure that there are precautions to put out the fire and a damp cloth to remove hot wax from the body and burn gel. Just in case. Safety first.

 

Next, place matting, sheeting or padding down for ease of cleaning up. Wax play can get messy. Another reason why it is so scrumptiously fun. For this reason, do not attempt it on the carpets.

 

Now, our choice of tools. You may choose to drip the wax from the candles, or melt and pour the wax from a wax melting pot with a small scoop/ladle. This is called flooding. Scooping larger amounts of liquid wax can be visually stunning but don’t forget it will also be more intense with heat, so ensure that the skin is prepped and that you have built up to this step. You are not going all out on a whim, this is an art form to be worked up to.

 

Start by picking a comfortable spot to lie or sit down and begin by negotiating the scene. Discuss what will be happening, any hard or soft limits, that there may be. Warm up the areas of skin by using massage candles (typically hot oil that won’t have a burning temperature but still feels oh so good) or some light impact play. This will warm up the skin and get it ready for the heat of the wax that is about to be indulged in. Temperature play on cold and skin that isn’t ready can be dangerous and can be a risk for the “bottom” or the person that is receiving it.

 

Both for dripping and pouring wax, there are different techniques that can be used that will change the way that the wax will both the temperature and the feel on the skin. The closer you spill the wax to the ski, the hotter it will feel,the more immediate it will come and the smoother it will linger. The further away, the cooler it will be as it will have more opportunity to intertwine with the air around it. The more anticipation there will be, as there will be more time for the wax to fall from where it is being spilled from. Depending on the height of the fall will also affect the impact of the wax on the skin and in particular how messy it may be. This can cause some absolutely magnificent splashwork that cannot be replicated, one of a kind artwork and artfeel.

 

Cleaning up can be part of the fun of wax play. To make taking wax off easier, rub moisturiser or oil onto the skin beforehand. Peel off wax in larger chunks, or incorporate blunt (or if you’re game and it is your kink a sharp knife) to scrape off the wax. Ice will help the wax harden and help to remove it and add a cool element to your temperature play.

 

  • Some tips and tricks to remember:

  • Tie up hair to keep it out of the wax

  • Shave or keep wax away from body hair

  • Do not put wax into the belly button as it is very hard to ensure that it is completely cleaned out.

  • Always keep wax away from the face

  • Take lots of photos (with permission) to remember how much fun it is and to show the person what a lovely canvas they make.

 

At your service,

Tiffany

Oh Zone Adult Store Caringbah Sales Assistant, Educator and Wax Play Devotee