Kinbaku: The Art Of Japanese Rope Bondage

Beautiful Half-Naked Woman In Rope Restraints

While the use of ropes in the BDSM world is nothing new, a practice of rope tying focusing on both restraint and beauty has been increasing in popularity. With classes and evenings put on at local clubs and parties exploring this specific type of rope play. Kinbaku, originating from Japan has well and truly made its way to the west and it has everyone very interested. In the following I will explain Kinbaku and its origins, discuss the rope types preferred by Kinbaku enthusiast and show you some introductory techniques to get you started.

What Is Kinbaku?

Kinbaku or Kinbaku-bi means “The Beauty of Tight Binding” and it is a Japanese style of BDSM or bondage that uses thin rope to tie people up while also creating visually intricate patterns. This means that many different lengths of rope are required to achieve the desired look. Couple this with the need for knot knowledge and Kinbaku becomes something that requires a bit of investigation and a lot of practice.

Kinbaku is also sometimes called Shibari however there is a difference between the two. Shibari refers to a purely artistic use of the rope play that is much more focused on the overall look of the ropes on the body. Shibari isn’t considered sexual. Kinbaku while also being about the visual does focus more on the restraint aspect of the rope in both the physical and mental realm. However if you walk into an Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre and ask about either Kinbaku or Shibari we will know what you are referring to as the terms are becoming increasingly interchangeable.

Kinbaku in one form or another has been around for a very long time and first came to notice during the late Edo period of Japan (1600’s – 1860’s). It is thought the practice originated with Seiv Lto who is known as the father of Kinbaku. He drew inspiration for the practice from Hojojutsu (a form of martial arts that employs rope as restraints) as well as Kabuki Theatre and Wood carvings. Kinbaku’s popularity increased in Japan during the 1950’s when adult magazines began publishing the practice and soon after live shows followed allowing people to experience Kinbaku in person. Now when Kinbaku made its way to the west it began to influence BDSM practices here. It is highly likely that BDSM fans have come across Kinbaku at one stage. Kinbaku is now regularly used in tandem with other bondage practices creating a plethora of different types and fusions.

Rope Types

Now while it may seem like you can just grab some rope from the nearest garden shed or hardware store and get started but this really isn’t the case. Rope isn’t just rope in Kinbaku it is your tool, it is your artwork so picking the correct type is always important. Traditionally a loose laid, three strand jute ropes used. The Japanese called this Asanawa which is translated as “hemp rope.” Hemp was the first fibre used, however generally it is considered to refer to a range of natural fibre ropes rather than a specific type. And while traditionalists will still use this type we now have a range of ropes made from both synthetic and natural products that will work well.

Natural Fibre Ropes

The reason why this rope was and is till used has to do with the flexibility of the fibres. They bend with the body but can still hold tension. The natural fibres create friction which not only helps to hold the knots together but also creates an interesting sensation against the skin.

Silk Ropes

Typically manufactured in the traditional style (loose laid 3 strand) silk ropes offer a softer alternative against the skin.

Synthetic Ropes

Again designed similarly, they offer another alternative. Generally smoother than natural fibre, synthetic ropes are a good alternative for those wanting something a little more rough than silk but not as course as natural.

The general rule with choosing rope is to consider what you are planning to do with it especially with regards to length. Kinbaku can use up a long length of rope up quickly because of the tying styles. It is also important to think of who and where it is going. The wrists and ankles are likely to be less sensitive than thigh skin. Flexibility is also important in the rope, it gives greater control of tightness and resistance while still allowing movement.

Basic Techniques

The basic two knots that you need to know are:

The Bowline Knot

The Bowline will not slip and is suitable for single limb bondage and suspension.

The Square (or Reef) Knot

The square knot is one worth knowing, it can be used for just about anything. The square knot is important to know because it doesn’t slip meaning that it can tolerate movement and the struggling of the captive.

Once you have mastered these two knots jump into some research to learn different variations and styles of those knots as well as other tying techniques that build on either the square or bowline knots.

Below are some images of a glimpse into the popular BDSM restraint system Japanese Rope Bondage:

Shibari And Kinbaku Rope Bondage Model
Photo: BDSM Love Swings, Restraints And Leads Store
Man Attached To An O-Ring With Rope Restraints
Photo: Male Model In Kinbaku
Woman Tied Up In Kinbaku Restraints
Photo: Female Model In Kinbaku

About The Author: Jamie is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

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Andrew is right into the Fet Lifestyle and enjoys BDSM. He has written about these subjects in many arena's and is an expert at Shibari. He shares his knowledge by working with Adultsmart a sex toy store. Enjoy the descriptive and educational articles he has written.

Servicing Mz Cherry With Leather Restraints

Brunette On Bed With Handcuffs

I​ ​couldn’t​ ​begin​ ​to​ ​relay​ ​how​ ​everything​ ​changed​ ​that​ ​night.​ ​As​ ​I​ ​surveyed​ ​my​ ​surroundings​ ​with ease,​ ​there​ ​was​ ​a​ ​sense​ ​of​ ​calm​ ​in​ ​the​ ​night​ ​and​ ​nothing​ ​but​ ​the​ ​gentle​ ​hum​ ​of​ ​the​ ​central​ ​air conditioning​ ​broke​ ​the​ ​silence.​ ​It​ ​was​ ​almost​ ​palpable;​ ​the​ ​stillness​ ​was​ ​eerie,​ ​even.​ ​It​ ​was​ ​in that​ ​moment​ ​that​ ​the​ ​alarm​ ​sounded,​ ​and​ ​a​ ​man​ ​-​ ​wait,​ ​no,​ ​was​ ​it​ ​a​ ​woman?​ ​Entered​ ​through the​ ​doors.

He​ ​-​ ​She​ ​-​ ​came​ ​up​ ​to​ ​me,​ ​with​ ​long​ ​curly​ ​brown​ ​hair​ ​and​ ​feminine​ ​yet​ ​somehow​ ​masculine​ ​blue eyes​ ​and​ ​spoke​ ​softly;​ ​“Do​ ​you​ ​know​ ​anything​ ​about​ ​BDSM?”​ ​He​ ​-​ ​She​ ​-​ ​They,​ ​cocked​ ​a​ ​hand on​ ​their​ ​hip​ ​and​ ​tilted​ ​their​ ​head​ ​to​ ​the​ ​side,​ ​quizzically.

I,​ ​completely​ ​taken​ ​aback​ ​by​ ​the​ ​abruptness​ ​of​ ​the​ ​situation,​ ​somewhat​ ​bemused,​ ​simply answered​ ​“Yes.​ ​What​ ​would​ ​you​ ​like​ ​to​ ​know?”

It​ ​was​ ​those​ ​two​ ​questions​ ​that​ ​set​ ​the​ ​tone​ ​for​ ​the​ ​night​ ​and​ ​a​ ​journey​ ​into​ ​self-exploration, boundaries​ ​and​ ​knowledge​ ​were​ ​about​ ​to​ ​take​ ​place.

“Well,​ ​first​ ​things​ ​first,​ ​my​ ​name​ ​is​ ​Mz​ ​Cherry,​ ​that’s​ ​right.​ ​Mz​ ​with​ ​a​ ​M​ ​and​ ​a​ ​Z​ ​“,​ ​Mz​ ​Cherry said,​ ​as​ ​he​ ​-​ ​she,​ ​held​ ​out​ ​a​ ​limp​ ​but​ ​surprisingly​ ​large​ ​hand.​ ​I​ ​shook​ ​the​ ​hand​ ​and​ ​said​ ​“I’m Andre.​ ​Usually​ ​you​ ​put​ ​a​ ​little​ ​hyphen​ ​on​ ​the​ ​E​ ​but​ ​my​ ​mom​ ​was​ ​lazy.”

As​ ​Mz​ ​Cherry​ ​laughed​ ​I​ ​noticed​ ​that​ ​he​ ​-​ ​she​ ​-​ ​nay,​ ​he,​ ​had​ ​a​ ​sizeable​ ​Adam’s​ ​apple.​ ​My​ ​initial curiosity​ ​returned​ ​to​ ​what​ ​Mz​ ​Cherry,​ ​a​ ​frail​ ​but​ ​very​ ​tall​ ​and​ ​lanky​ ​man,​ ​could​ ​have​ ​to​ ​say​ ​about BDSM.

“Well​ ​I’m​ ​a​ ​submissive,​ ​you​ ​see,​ ​and​ ​I​ ​have​ ​a​ ​regular​ ​partner​ ​that​ ​I​ ​play​ ​with​ ​-​ ​oh,​ ​he’s​ ​just​ ​such a​ ​doll,​ ​and​ ​I​ ​wanted​ ​to​ ​get​ ​him​ ​something​ ​for​ ​his​ ​birthday​ ​that​ ​says,​ ​I’m​ ​his​ ​property​ ​and​ ​he​ ​-” Mz​ ​Cherry​ ​bent​ ​down​ ​at​ ​this​ ​part​ ​and​ ​whispered​ ​“owns​ me.”

I​ ​knew​ ​then,​ ​exactly​ ​what​ ​to​ ​give​ ​Mz​ ​Cherry.​ ​I​ ​led​ ​her​ ​to​ ​the​ ​BDSM​ ​wall​ ​and​ ​pointed​ ​out​ ​a​ ​dog collar​ ​and​ ​leash.​ ​“Nothing​ ​says​ ​ownership​ ​like​ ​a​ ​Dominatrix​ ​and​ ​his​ ​dog”​ ​I​ ​remarked.

“It’s​ ​just​ ​too​ ​mainstream”,​ ​Mz​ ​Cherry​ ​pulled​ ​a​ ​face.​ ​“​ ​Why,​ ​every​ ​Tom,​ ​Dick​ ​and​ ​Harry​ ​is​ ​out there​ ​walking​ ​their​ ​submissive​ ​on​ ​a​ ​dog​ ​collar​ ​and​ ​leash.​ ​I’m​ ​his​ ​and​ ​only​ ​his​ ​and​ ​I​ ​need​ ​him​ ​to know​ ​that.”

I​ ​knew​ ​that​ ​belonging,​ ​and​ ​feeling​ ​like​ ​you​ ​belong,​ ​or​ ​that​ ​you’re​ ​someone’s​ ​property​ ​was​ ​one​ ​of the​ ​main​ ​kinks​ ​of​ ​BDSM.​ ​I​ ​picked​ ​up​ ​a​ ​leather​ ​pair​ ​of​ ​hand-cuffs​ ​with​ ​little​ ​padlocks​ ​on​ ​them.​ ​I held​ ​them​ ​up​ ​to​ ​Mz​ ​Cherry​ ​triumphantly.​ ​“This​ ​is​ ​what​ ​you​ ​need.​ ​He​ ​can​ ​lock​ ​your​ ​hand​ ​cuffs and​ ​keep​ ​the​ ​key​ ​with​ ​him,​ ​and​ ​he’s​ ​the​ ​only​ ​one​ ​with​ ​keys.”

Woman On Bed Wearing Black Lingerie
Buy Now | Swings, Restraints And Leads At The BDSM Store

Mz​ ​Cherry​ ​beamed.​ ​He​ ​flicked​ ​his​ ​hair​ ​and​ ​held​ ​onto​ ​the​ ​hand-cuffs​ ​with​ ​his​ ​red​ ​press-on​ ​nails. Then​ ​he​ ​pined​ ​“But​ ​I​ ​want​ ​something​ ​extra!”

“And​ ​why​ ​shouldn’t​ ​you?”​ ​I​ ​asked.​ ​I​ ​held​ ​up​ ​a​ ​whip​ ​from​ ​Hell’s​ ​Couture,​ ​60cm​ ​in​ ​length​ ​with​ ​a metal​ ​handle.​ ​“This”​ ​I​ ​said​ ​“So​ ​he​ ​can​ ​punish​ ​you​ ​when​ ​you​ ​need​ ​to​ ​be​ ​punished”.​ ​At​ ​this​ ​point Mz​ ​Cherry​ ​was​ ​positively​ ​ecstatic.

“Just​ ​be​ ​careful”​ ​I​ ​said​ ​“These​ ​whips​ ​can​ ​hurt​ ​quite​ ​a​ ​bit.”

“Oh,​ ​honey​ ​child,​ ​I​ ​like​ ​to​ ​get​ ​rough!”​ ​Mz​ ​Cherry​ ​exclaimed​ ​as​ ​he​ ​lifted​ ​up​ ​his​ ​sleeves​ ​to​ ​reveal welts​ ​and​ ​bruises​ ​along​ ​his​ ​arms,​ ​including​ ​several​ ​scratch​ ​marks.

“Wow,​ ​you​ ​certainly​ ​do.​ ​I​ ​just​ ​hope​ ​you​ ​guys​ ​have​ ​a​ ​safe​ ​word,​ ​while​ ​it’s​ ​important​ ​to​ ​push​ ​limits and​ ​boundaries​ ​in​ ​BDSM​ ​play,​ ​it’s​ ​also​ ​important​ ​to​ ​make​ ​sure​ ​the​ ​acts​ ​are​ consensual​ ​and safe​ ​for​ ​the​ ​couple.”​ ​I​ ​said.

“My​ ​safe​ ​word​ ​is​ ​‘peaches’”​ ​Mz​ ​Cherry​ ​said​ ​as​ ​he​ ​giggled.​ ​Satisfied​ ​that​ ​Mz​ ​Cherry​ ​was​ ​safe,​ ​I led​ ​him​ ​to​ ​the​ ​piece​ ​de​ ​resistance.​ ​I​ ​picked​ ​up​ ​a​ ​white​ ​box​ ​and​ ​showed​ ​Mz​ ​Cherry​ ​the​ ​label.

“This,​ ​is​ ​our​ ​Fetish​ ​Fantasy​ ​Series​ ​Rope​ ​Cuff​ ​&​ ​Tether​ ​Set.​ ​It​ ​comes​ ​with​ ​wrist​ ​cuffs,​ ​ankle​ ​cuffs and​ ​four​ ​rope​ ​tethers.​ ​It​ ​also​ ​has​ ​a​ ​free​ ​mask​ ​inside​ ​so​ ​you​ ​can​ ​feel​ ​absolutely​ ​helpless​ ​to​ ​your dominatrix,​ ​and​ ​give​ ​in​ ​to​ ​your​ ​sensations.”

Mz​ ​Cherry’s​ ​eyes​ ​lit​ ​up​ ​like​ ​when​ ​you​ ​hit​ ​three​ ​cherries​ ​at​ ​the​ ​pokies.​ ​“I​ ​love​ ​this!”​ ​Mz​ ​Cherry exclaimed.​ ​“And​ ​I​ ​know​ ​he’ll​ ​love​ ​this​ ​too.”

I​ ​knew​ ​then​ ​that​ ​we​ ​had​ ​satisfied​ ​three​ ​separate​ ​sexual​ ​themes​ ​of​ ​BDSM:​ ​giving​ ​and​ ​receiving pain,​ ​physical​ ​restriction​ ​and​ ​psychological​ ​humiliation.​ ​It​ ​was​ ​interesting​ ​to​ ​note​ ​that​ ​Mz​ ​Cherry himself​ ​was​ ​representative​ ​of​ ​BDSM​ ​sub-culture​ ​by​ ​resisting​ ​gender​ ​conformity.​ ​BDSM practitioners​ ​can​ ​often​ ​gender​ ​switch,​ ​take​ ​on​ ​a​ ​different​ ​gendered​ ​style​ ​depending​ ​of​ ​the gender​ ​of​ ​their​ ​partner​ ​and​ ​resist​ ​the​ ​idea​ ​that​ ​gender​ ​matters​ ​in​ ​their​ ​play​ ​partner.

As​ ​I​ ​packed​ ​away​ ​Mz​ ​Cherry’s​ ​items​ ​for​ ​him,​ ​I​ ​reflected​ ​on​ ​what​ ​had​ ​taken​ ​place​ ​that​ ​night.​ ​A coming​ ​together​ ​of​ ​knowledge,​ ​sub-cultures,​ ​so-called​ ​perversions​ ​and​ ​the​ ​idea​ ​that​ ​sex​ ​has boundaries​ ​and​ ​limits​ ​that​ ​can​ ​be​ ​pushed​ ​all​ ​under​ ​safe​ ​and​ ​consensual​ ​situations.

About the author: Isaac is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

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Andrew is right into the Fet Lifestyle and enjoys BDSM. He has written about these subjects in many arena's and is an expert at Shibari. He shares his knowledge by working with Adultsmart a sex toy store. Enjoy the descriptive and educational articles he has written.

Wonderful Wet And Messy Sploshing

Strawberries That Are Sexual

Whilst preparing a fruit salad the other day, I was totally mesmerized cutting up the fruit, noticing how beautifully vibrant it was, with the many colours and textures so delightful to my eyes.  I posted a photo to social media of some vulva-reminiscent strawberries asking if I was the only person to find fruit sexy. I got a heap of comments from friends agreeing that there is nothing sexier than a piece of nature’s sweet juicy goodness. As well as feeling grateful for knowing (really strange) people who see fruit the same way I do, it was obvious that there is something erotic about food if we choose to notice. It really is a pleasurable experience to eat a delicious meal, a delight for our senses if you will, and it got me thinking about the role of food in sexual play.

Woman Who Is Splooshing
Photo: A Person Who Loves The Splooshing Fetish

A while back a friend showed me a sex documentary series exploring a range of different sexual quirks and fetishes happening behind closed doors. I recall my absolute joy watching a couple who were involved in an activity called sploshing, a fetish I would sum up as erotic food fighting (Or trifle preparation gone wrong!).

What Is Sploshing?

Sploshing, also known as Wet and Messy fetish, is a form of sexual fetishism whereby a person becomes aroused when copious amounts of a substance are applied to the naked skin, face, or to clothing. Sploshing can involve playing with a range of different ingredients, with many foods such as custard, cream, chocolate sauce and ice cream commonly used. As well as food, sploshing can also involve substances such as lubricant, mud, paint, oil and lotion.

Sensation play is a large appeal with sploshing, with the textures of the food or substances used throughout creating a unique sensory experience. The visual aspect of this fetish is also a source of turn on for a lot of people involved, especially when substances of different colours and consistencies are applied to one’s body.

A Person Sitting On A Cake
Photo: Sitting On A Cake

Why Do People Love Sploshing

The couple in the documentary used only food during their sploshing experience, with a smorgasbord full of delectable desserts laid out on a large table ready to be used. They then took to pouring the food over each other in between kissing and rubbing up against each other, with a playfulness that was so infectious I could not stop laughing.

Here are some of my favourite quotes;

“Vanilla pudding feels like sugary silk in my hand”

“When she hits me with the cherries, it feels cool and I get excited”

“Where am I going to put the chocolate sauce? Am I going to put it on her head, is it going to drizzle down her breast? I don’t know…”

I love how inventive people can be with sex and I really admire those who claim their fetishes proudly. In a world of comparison and judgemental projections for being anything other than “normal” it is amazing to see people who show the world what turns them on. Despite it being so unusual, I found it so entertaining to watch and really honoured their willingness to reveal their quirky fetish.

I find it so beautiful to see people like this couple expressing themselves and sharing an experience with each other where they both totally accept and adore one another because of their mutual desires. I think there really needs to be more of this curiosity and willingness to experiment with sex. There’s a whole world of sexual possibilities if we dare to step into it and open our minds – Just come into an Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centre and see for yourself!

Body Chocolate On Woman
Buy Now | Sex Toy Store With Massage Oils

Bringing Food Into Sexual Play

Bringing food into sexual play doesn’t have to mean you go all out with a table full of food like the couple in the documentary. Starting small with foods like whipped cream, strawberries or Heavenly Nights Chocolate Body Paint is an approachable taste test to this unique fetish. Turn it into a fun and playful time with a partner and enjoy eating dessert off their body!

Alternatively, flavoured lubricants can be a simple and fun introduction to Sex+Food play, minus the mess that food sploshing can cause. System JO have an incredible range of personal lubricants that are flavoured, with The Gelato Range consisting of the most delicious flavours including Hazelnut Espresso and Salted Caramel. These can be great for people who are not so fond on the idea of food in the bedroom but nonetheless want to enjoy something tasty.

When playing with food and different substances during sploshing, it is important to use certain safety precautions to avoid any nasty accidents from occurring. Make sure that if applying any substances to the genital area, a condom is worn by men so as not to get food in the urethra. Women should be careful of this also, as well as certain foods disrupting the p.H balance of the vagina. Wearing underwear can create a barrier for food reaching these intimate areas.

As for fruit in the bedroom, I will leave you with this very exciting video of how you can use grapefruit to spice things up with a male lover!!

Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA Nursing

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Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph's writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.

My Melting Moments With Japanese Drip Candles

Candle Wax On Womens Shoulder

Many of us know that candles in the bedroom can add a sense of ambience, especially when in the throes of passion. Some people in the BDSM community add another level to this by using candles and their wax in a different way, by using specially made candles for dripping onto our skin. Wax is used as part of sensation and temperature play, it stimulates the senses with different colours, scents, heat, and touch, wherein the wax can be used in sensory focused activities to stimulate the senses.

I went on the hunt for a new set of play candles recently. I decided against the tapered paraffin table candles (way too hot) already in my extensive candle collection and finding the soy wax candles I had were pleasant and warm on the skin but not painful. Painful was what I was after, not that bad kind of pain where you burn your hand cooking but the exciting, and thrilling kind of pain you get from a proper wax play candle. I was after something professional between the two.

About Doc Johnson Japanese Drip Candles

​I found Doc Johnsons Japanese Drip Candle 3 pack, in it, you get 1 tapered candle in each of the 3 colours red, black and purple, a perfect colour combination for creating some beautiful wax artwork on a partner’s body or on yourself.

Dripping Wax From Candle
Photo: Doc Johnson Japanese Drip Candles

​Buying my candles and getting them home I read the back of the packet “Perfect for pleasure and pain”, “warning for experienced players only” these candles are exactly what I wanted, I couldn’t wait to try them out on a partner. Of course they sat in my room full of BDSM toys and equipment a good few months before I had a bunch of kinky friends over for drinks, suddenly I remembered them sitting in my drawer unused. Among my friends were some very keen kinksters whose hands shot up in excitement when I suggested we have a wax play session before we down too many drinks.

Side note: My rule is if I’ve had too many drinks to legally drive my car I’m too intoxicated to play. This was early in the night and we were still on our first round of drinks. This also goes for obtaining other people’s consent. I especially advise against play with fire and or wax while intoxicated.

Red Wax On Naked Bum
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My Experience With The Doc Johnson Japanese Drip Candles

I lit up the red candle first and started out holding the candle about 30-40cm away from her bare skin, the first drop elicited a sharp intake of breath, I held the candle upright to make sure it wouldn’t drip again and asked if she was ok, she said yes just that it was very hot, she has done wax play before and has a high pain tolerance, an indication I think as to how hot the Doc Johnson Drip Candles are. I dripped a nice amount of wax all over her back which would act as a layer of protection for the next round, I used black next and held the candle closer, the closer you hold the candle the hotter the wax is when it drips onto the skin. She said the heat was much nicer after she got used to it and relaxed a little, especially with the initial layer down.

Keep in mind that the darker the candle the slightly hotter it will be, so a black paraffin candle will be slightly hotter to drip than a white paraffin candle, so start with the white if you are new to wax play.

My other friend couldn’t handle the Doc Johnson Drip Candles directly onto her skin, she needed a layer of a soy candle I had which had a much lower burning point before I could drip on any of the Japanese Drip Candles onto her skin. So please be aware that these do burn at a reasonably high temperature as they are paraffin! After I was done with the wax I used a blunt butter knife to scrape it off their backs, which added to the whole sensation play aspect of the experience.

This was just some light fun between friends, but if you want to kick it up a notch why not add some blindfolds or bondage into the mix, after all wax and bondage go hand in hand!

The Doc Johnsons Japanese Drip candle set is made of a non-toxic paraffin wax and are just over 15cm each. These candles are not really for beginners and I advise reading up on wax play safety before going ahead with using them or any other wax or temperature play. For more information, read our wax and temperature play guide.

About the author: Erin is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle Centres

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not!

To Tie Or Be Tied, That Is The Question

Shibari Model With Bunny Ears

If you’re like me, you may have noticed in recent times a growing prevalence of rope tying and bondage in the media, with classes, shows and exhibits occurring all around the world. It wasn’t so long ago that I discovered the beautiful art of Shibari – otherwise known as Kinbaku or Japanese Rope bondage – and already I have experienced some beautiful moments of connection, pleasure and healing in my explorations.

There exist multiple ways to approach rope bondage, with some people using it for sexual play, others in performance art and even as a tool for healing (Check out the incredible video below). My desire to be tied up and bound confuses some so I thought I would share what it is about rope bondage that has me so hooked.

Why I Am Hooked To Rope Bondage

During an experience of being tied and bound, I feel a deep sense of surrender which allows me to let go of the stressors in my mind and be completely present in my body. We live in a world that encourages us to be in our minds thinking constantly, so much so that we forget to feel (Read more on this at Revolutionize Sex With Your Primal Instinct). Getting out of our heads and into our bodies is important for our wellbeing and rope allows me to enter this space of embodied presence. The sensations of the rope tickling and pulling at my skin, my partners’ breath on my neck as he wraps the rope tightly around my chest and the incredible relief once it has been taken off all makes for an exquisite sensory experience. Also combining rope bondage with impact play from whips, spankers and ticklers is an added delight for your senses.

Shibari is a beautiful way to connect with my partner. Choosing to take time to be completely present with each other is particularly important to remain passionately in love, with a session of rope tying more than enough to bring us back to a place of deep connectedness. Being tied up and bound for me is all about surrender and trust. If I do not trust my partner, I remain in a hypervigilant & anxious state which is not enjoyable and prevents me from gaining pleasure out of the experience. As my partner ties me making me physically powerless, I am consciously trusting that he will take care of me throughout the experience which allows me to feel a sense of freedom like nothing else.

Fully Nude Shibari Models
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Rope bondage can be an amazing outlet for exploring dominant and submissive roles within a partnership. The person tying is often referred to as a top, dom or rigger and embodies a very important role throughout the experience. Presence, safety and solidity are important qualities for the top to possess in order for the person being tied (known as the bottom, sub or rope bunny) to feel well supported throughout the experience. It is wonderful to play in this power dynamic and can make for some very juicy fun!

A combination of being held and connected with my partner and feeling present in my body often means intense emotions arise during a rope tying experience. I can go from being in a relaxed, meditative state to bursting into tears in a split second, never knowing what is going to arise throughout the experience. Despite what we may have been conditioned to believe, feeling and expressing emotions is a beautiful part of what it is to be a human being and should be encouraged. Suppressed emotions can cause a host of physical and mental health issues so better out than in I say! Shibari can allow us to access feelings we may have pushed down in the past, freeing us from our own s**t and making way for more pleasure, love and joy in our lives!!

Last but certainly not least, being tied up is so much fun!! I have recently begun suspension classes which involve rope harnesses tied around my chest & legs or hips and hung up on the ceiling. I see it as the next best thing to flying! As children, we are so good at playing yet when we grow into adulthood, we tend to neglect our innate desire to have fun in life. As well as been an intense and connected experience, being tied up makes me feel so much joy and excitement.

What I Recommend To Get Into Shibari

Now if you are thinking that Shibari is something that you would like to try, I would strongly recommend attending classes taught by experts in the field or visiting an experienced practitioner for a session. There are many safety precautions to take into consideration when tying or being tied. It can be a risky thing for all involved to be tying without professional instruction so I discourage you from picking up some rope from Bunnings and trying it on your own.

Happy tying everyone!!

Author: Stephanie Curtis- BA Nursing

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Meet the newest member to our team of experts. Stephanie Curtis is a sexologist with a huge capacity to care. Involved in spirituality and tantra her articles are professional, articulate and interesting. Enjoy Steph's writings at the adultsmart sexual wellness and health blog.
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